So, this chapter is about some of Harry's past. There's more to it, but this is just some to satisfy that curiosity of you guys' ;P Enjoy<3

(Song for this chapter - Mad World by Gary Jules)

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Chapter 13 – Chloe’s P.O.V.

            I wasn’t sure what to say as I stared at Harry, watching intently as his large hands raked through his hair. What was I supposed to say in a moment like this? What do normal people say? I wouldn’t know, considering I’ve never been put in a situation like this. Was this a breakup? Or was it just something where Harry stood up for himself and Elizabeth would be back tomorrow? As selfish as it sounded, I was hoping for the first option. Harry could do better than Elizabeth, and I wanted him to see that.

            I feel like I should tell him that it’ll all be okay, that she’ll be back tomorrow and they can sort out their difference. But I don’t want to tell him that. Telling him that would be a lie because there’s no possible way that Elizabeth is willing to “sort out differences.” That’s not how Elizabeth works. You do what she says, simple as that. You don’t have a right to give in your opinion, in her book. You aren’t entitled to such a thing. Her mind runs on complete selfishness.

            Harry let out a sigh before he sat back down on the couch, keeping a fair distance between us. As much as this weird part of me wanted to go snuggle up in his side, I kept to myself like I always do. I bundled in the blanket, but kept my concerned eyes locked on his face. With my lack of knowledge in these kinds of situations, the room almost felt awkward with Elizabeth’s abrupt departure.

            “So, erm… the next movie, yeah?” Harry spoke gruffly, his voice deeper than usual as he turned to look at me. Even though he was smiling, I could tell it was all just an act to hide his emotions inside. I thought I was the only one capable of a fake smile, but I guess I thought wrong.

            “Are you… are you okay?” I finally managed to ask, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer; no.

            Harry licked his lips before pursing them together, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. “I suppose it’s just another rocky path, right?” Listening to his forced chuckle at the end made my heart clench for him.

            Clearing my throat, I reminisced what I had hear my therapist say to me countless times, but I always refused. “Do you… do you want to talk about it?”

            As if my offer shocked him, Harry’s head snapped in my direction, his eyebrows etched together in confusion. “Really?” he asked quietly, as if he were surprised that the “insane” girl wanted to help someone.

            I managed to shrug as I tore my eyes away from him. “I mean… if you want to. I guess… I’m here… you know… if you ever want to talk about something.”

            I sounded like a complete idiot sputtering out these words, but a small smile graced Harry’s lips. “Really?” he asked again, still in disbelief.

            I forced a smile to keep from my nerves racking inside. Nodding, I said, “Yeah, I guess. You help me, so it’s only fair if I help you. Or… try.”

            Harry grinned, his smile being contagious as my own crept onto my lips. “Thanks, Chloe. That actually… well, that means a lot.”

            Still smiling, I pursed my lips tight and nodded in acknowledgement. It was only fair if I tried my best to give Harry advice, even though I lack of multiple experiences. I wouldn’t know what to say relationship wise, but if he ever had trouble with his emotions, I was definitely the person to come to. I’ve been through more emotions that I can count in my lifetime, so I’m definitely well accustomed with them.

            I waited for Harry to play the movie, but then he turned to me and completely threw me off guard by asking, “Can we… can we talk now?”

            This time, I was the one in disbelief as I jerked my head in his direction. He actually wanted to talk to me? The crazy psychopath labeled with schizophrenia, bipolar, depression, etc.? He wanted to talk to me? The thought was enough to warm my heart, and I just couldn’t say no.

            “If you want to,” I managed to say fluently, mustering an encouraging smile at the end. I realized I didn’t really know anything about Harry. I didn’t know anything about his family, or even about him in general. Maybe talking would be good for us.

            Harry nodded, flipping on a lamp to light up the room as he sat cross-legged to face me on the couch. “As weird as this sounds, you’re really the only person I feel comfortable enough to say this to. Besides Elizabeth, but I guess she doesn’t really matter anymore.”

            I nodded, completely intrigued at how this “talking” thing is starting.

            Harry sighed, pursing his lips before looking towards his lap and fumbling with his hands. “When I was about thirteen, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. She had to go to the hospital weekly for chemo and such, and I remember being a wreck every time I went to school. I hardly slept without getting nightmares about it, but when I was fifteen, the doctor said she was getting better,” he explained.

            Not wanting to interrupt him, I let myself drown in his British accent, the way he was speaking was soothing. Even if some of it was tragic.

            “But of course, not everything goes like you want it to,” he murmured. “My sister, Gemma, was labeled as ‘crazy’ when I was fourteen.” This caught my attention as I stared at him, seeing as his emeralds glossed over. “She spent six months in rehab before she came home for my fifteenth birthday. My mum was doing great with her chemo, but Gemma was still… out of it. I try not to think too much about how she acted, because being that young it kind of freaked me out. I didn’t grasp the whole concept of people talking to themselves. Of people being frightened with every little noise they head. I didn’t understand why she was like that.”

            My heart clenched as I found myself fighting my own tears, a lump clogging my throat right in the center.

            Harry took in a shaky breath before continuing, “Well, it just so happens that Gemma wasn’t ready to be let out yet. We had my party at this hotel because they had a pool and hot tub, and it was right in front of the beach. I had two of my friends over for a sleep over that night, and mum was looking after Gemma. We went down to the beach, and mum said she had to use the restroom. I didn’t think anything of it as I stayed in the water with my friends. In fact… I didn’t even see Gemma leave,” he whispered, wiping the corner of his eyes.

            Silent tears were rolling down my cheeks as I watched Harry, feeling sympathy and pain for him.

            “Mum came back and said it was getting late and that we needed to go in. She asked me where Gemma was, but I told her… I told her I didn’t know,” he choked out, shaking his head. “We looked everywhere, even called in the police since she had the title of being ‘crazy.’ But all those things were pointless because when we got into our hotel room, there she was… laying on the kitchen floor with a bloody knife in her hand, another one right through her stomach.”

            I pulled in my own breath, but didn’t bother wiping the tears that kept flowing down my cheeks. Harry seemed to be struggling to continue as he wiped his eyes, and I wanted to tell him to stop, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to hear the rest of what he had to say, even if it killed both of us.

            Harry rubbed his face before his watery eyes stared down at his fumbling hands. “She left a note saying she couldn’t deal with the voices anymore. That she hated to hurt herself, but she hated hurting us more. She…” Harry trailed off, bringing his lower lip between his teeth before he stood, leaving the room.

            I didn’t follow him like I probably should have. I wiped my cheeks as I tried to absorb everything he just told me. It made sense now why Harry was so gentle and calm towards me. He had to deal with crazy people before. That’s why he knew all of the right things to say. That’s why he refused to leave me alone. I couldn’t be more grateful that I got stuck with someone like him. Thank you, Elizabeth, for finding an amazing guy that you don’t deserve. Thank you for letting me temporarily have him.

            Harry returned with a piece of paper in his hands. “Here… that’s what she wrote to us,” he mumbled as he gave it to me.

            I took it in my trembling hands, wiping my cheeks once more before I gathered the strength to open it.

Dear family,

I hate to leave you in such a gruesome way, but I have no choice at this point. The voices are tired of me living, and I don’t blame them.

Being continuously taunted by them isn’t easy, but I wouldn’t want any of you to deal with it. You don’t deserve such cruel punishment inside your head. So people think I’m insane; I say I’m possessed. I do things without thinking, sometimes waking up and not even remembering what happened the previous night until I see the dried blood on my arms, the sealed slashes lining my wrists.

So, I’m sorry for being this pathetic human being that I am. I’m sorry, and I’d like to say that to the both of you.

First to Mum; I’m sorry that I was never the perfect daughter you wanted. I’m sorry I didn’t make a whole bunch of friends and invite them over for sleepovers. I’m sorry I never let you paint my nails, although I wish I did. I’m sorry I didn’t spend as much time with you as I should have, and I regret that every day. I love you, forever and always, whether I’m here to tell that to you personally or not. I’m sorry.

And of course to Harry; I’m sorry little brother. I know being this monstrous thing that I am terrifies you, and I hate to leave you on your fifteenth birthday. I wish you have an amazing one, though, and don’t think too much about me. I would never hurt you, just to let you know. I know I do weird things, but that’s not really me you’re seeing. The real me is bottled up somewhere, deep down where I can’t reach her anymore. I wish I could still be that sister you used to love to hang out with, but she’s gone now and I can’t save her. I love you just the same as I love mum, if not more. You’re an incredible person, Harry, never forget that. I’m sorry.

This letter could go forever if they would let me, but it’s time for me to go now. At least I’ll find freedom up there with father and everyone else in heaven. At least I’ll find that little bit of sanity that’s bottled up inside me. At least I’ll be free.

Love forever and always,

Gemma ~

            I hadn’t realized my tears were flowing again until I finished the letter, handing it back to Harry as I placed a hand over my mouth. Everything Gemma had to deal with relates to me in so many ways. I hear those voices Gemma heard. I get those marks on my arms Gemma got. I forget the previous night just like Gemma did. We’re so similar, it terrifies me to think that I might end up like her.

            “I’m so sorry,” I choked out to Harry, not sure if I were apologizing for my tears, for Gemma, or for everything in general.

            “It’s not your fault, Chloe,” he said softly.

            Before I realized what I was doing, I pulled him into my arms. I had once read in a book how people like to be comforted when they’re emotional, and right now I think Harry and I both need to be comforted. Harry went through far too much in a matter of two years, but I’ve gone through way more than that in a matter of three. But when Harry tightened his arms around me, I knew I’d make it through more years to come.