Dear Mr. Gump,

Mr. Gump? I'd like you to meet Tyronica Smith...she also goes by Ty and other names her family and friends affectionately call her...(whispers)...the latest one being "dumb ass". She would like you to know that you are no longer to be referred to as the village idiot or the world's dumbest human being as she has forcefully stripped you of that title. No, no sir...We cannot call her actions, beliefs and thoughts naive as she is well over the age of innocence and also...she knew better.

What's that you say? She didn't know it was going to be like that? Why of course she did. She was warned not by one person but by multiple people on the subject and while we're at it – she all but asked for what she got last night. Who in their right mind goes traipsing out in the middle of the night ...excuse me, midnight on the dot to meet a young man that is only interested in her body??? Who? You might think that all of this was just some innocent meeting but I assure you that one, if not both of them had an agenda in mind. I can't really speak for Ty – God only knows what the hell she was thinking but as for the young man – we all knew what he wanted.

Yes, yes...she is a grown woman and can do as she pleases. Yes, yes...she has every right to test the waters but who on earth sticks their toes in the waters of a raging tsunami knowing there's a possibility they could be swept away? Ty that's who! Oh no, no, no...don't get it twisted Mr. Gump, when the angels fall, they go all out with summer saults in the air, flames on their wings and a battle cry pledging their allegiance to the hell on earth that they have been banished to. She wasn't shoved off the platform of Heaven...she wasn't even coerced... well maybe just a little but the rest...seemed to me to be a leap head long into the abyss of lust and sexual depravity. Maybe depravity is a strong word...I'll find one to replace it later.

She jumped. Plain and simple.

Head first into the arms of a...a...Hmmm...will come back to this when I have a better word! Head first! And why?! Because he made pretty words with his lips that she called Very Nice! Mr. Gump, she is in need of a serious talk for various reasons but mainly because we as women do not fall for words...we fall for actions and this BOY's actions have been unsavory to say the least. Meetings at midnight, talks of secret rendezvous, the kissing....YES, SHE KISSED HIM! I tell ya, it's all the stuff that makes up those tawdry grocery store romance novels...Harlequin would shield their ears from the things this man said to her...or rush to pen and paper who knows, the point is – too much has happened for her not to know this man.

You resist temptation in all forms, you stay steadfast and strong through the worst of it and you leave things as they are. That's what she's supposed to do! She wanted to be friends...now the young man thinks she's a common strumpet! A ripe tart! A harlot of the worst degree!

Mr. Gump, no, she did not sleep with him – she was rather...I would say...put off by something he did. Forest...if I may address you as such...do you remember that episode of Seinfeld...you know the one where Elaine is explaining the exploits of the date to her friend Jerry. The one about how the guy – "took it out". He whipped it out. There in the dark of night outside and then later within the confines of his truck. How and why did she get into the truck? More stupidity Forest...it runs deep with this one.

You see...she had it in her mind to let the man know that his advances were getting to be a bit too much. What she thought after she kissed him...was that she would simply walk away for him and leave him to ponder things. That's what she wanted. She figured she's teach the young man a lesson and meet him where he was in all of this...Oh but it wasn't just any kiss....this kiss launched a thousand ships, blew wind upon their sales and set the fleet off on a stormy seas. This kiss...reached within the depths of a man that was trying to be closed off to any type of emotional ties and effectively wrapped the little jerk around her finger...this kiss Forest, got her ass in trouble. How so you ask? Well...as she was walking away with her back turned and proceeding to walk the path victoriously back to the house...he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him and laid one on her.

He kissed her back a bit deeper than she kissed him. Things that should lie dormant awakened. Bombs burst in the air lighting up the night sky...she damned near grew wings and lifted off the ground! He gave her the kind of kiss a man gives a woman he wants...REALLY WANTS. After the kiss she said and I quote, "You can't kiss me like that!" and he said – "Why not? You kissed me like that. I thought I would just let you know who you are dealing with. I want you."

A woman who has been single for 5 years and had a bad dating experience two of the years to be left without love for the last of those five years had been challenged. A woman who started out with a surety of her steps unwilling to give in to this fling began to question herself internally. This woman was about to trip. Yep, over her own feet, into a pile of shit that would leave her wreaking with the stench of lust for the duration of her 41 years....until...he whipped it out.

Now ...I'm not quite sure why and or how he thought that was the perfect transition of the evening...going from a world-shaking kiss to whipping out the little boss of the night but he did. With a motion as fluid as water over rocks. He fumbled very little. She cocked her head to the side and gave an audible sigh and this is when he knew...he f*cked up. She was preparing to walk away when he covered himself and grabbed her hand yet again.

"I just thought you should know what you're dealing with. Do you think you can handle it?"

She looked him in the eye and told him – she's handled bigger. He smiled and said, "Sure you have." He wanted to talk after giving the grand show of the evening – for what night is complete is your private parts aren't invited to the party?? Right?? Wrong. It put her off Mr. Gump. He wanted to talk and now so did she, she preferred to do it not standing outside in the dark of a not so nice neighborhood where there were neighbors lurking in the dark as well – why? Partly because its summer and people stay out later. Midnight just seems the right hour for all kinds of things to happen. As we were seeing.

The truck, red and black, had the darkest tinted windows she had ever seen on a vehicle. In her mind, she associated those things with people who didn't want to be caught doing what they were doing. Very seldom is it for medical reasons. She got that and made a sigh of exasperation as she climbed into the truck to set junior straight.

Instead...junior set her straight.

"I told you I like being straight forward. Your answer is either yes or no. Life is too short for anything otherwise. I'm telling you that I want you."

She replied – "Uh huh, but you are coming on too strong."

His response – "If I can't be upfront about what I want, I'm not going to speak at all. The more upfront you are with me the more you'll get out of me, plain and simple."

Dammit! She smiled.

He took the smile for acceptance and proceeded to release the Kraken yet again. This time she looked a little harder and made yet another sigh. Like some E.L. James novel...the sighing *rolls eyes* She parted her lips to speak...

"I'm glad you are so comfortable in your own skin but I can't. I don't know you and you don't know me. Do you know where we live? Supposedly the STD capital of the US. Condom or not...shit is out there."

She continued – "I was in a bad relationship with a guy that did nothing but lie to me, near the end a lot of shit came out because it had to. Not because he wanted to tell the truth but because he got caught. So when you say you don't want a relationship I understand that – I'm a little gun shy myself."

She waxed poetic – "People are able to dodge bullets in some matrix shit but I took a few that left me out of commission and threatens to keep me out of commission. So know that while I think you are a lovely man...gorgeous man...intelligent man...I can't give you what you want, which is why I asked for friendship."

He listened and came with his reply. He said several things that made her really, really want to leap from the car to keep from doing anymore dumb shit. Oh but the night was young there in the wee hours of the morning.

As he talked she thought of her mistakes. 1) Saying yes to the text of "Can I have a hug, can I come see you?" 2) Getting dressed and brushing teeth and fixing hair. 3) Dressing in summer dress and leggings, which proved to be too enticing. 4) Talking in the dark instead of on the porch near the light. 5) Receiving the hug and giggling when he kissed her neck. 6) Kissing him much too deep to try to prove a point. 7) Allowing herself to be kissed deeper than she had kissed him. 7) Not deterring the conversation to friendship material. 8) Staring at "it". 9) Climbing into the truck. 10) Leading him on.

He asked if she heard him, she said no – she was thinking. He said what about? And she was truthful when she said, "You." He leaned over and ran his hand through the back of her hair. He asked why she was trembling. She hadn't realized that she was and that was a problem...her attraction to him was taking on visible side effects. She leaned over near the door and clenched her knees together. She was searching for the door handle. She couldn't see it in the dark and feeling around proved to be fruitless. There was no escape.

Stupidity is a thing that occurs when one thinks they are far smarter than they really are. Characteristics of Ty's stupidity include – leading conversations with questions, giving in to adoring words and compliments, and seldom usage of the word No. For 15 minutes they sat in the truck but the chit chat wasn't idle. Questions were posed that people wanting to get into your pants pose.

"What would you do to me if I were yours?"

In an attempt at levity and trying to regain the moisture that had fled her mouth, she answered honestly but playfully.

"Throw a bucket of ice water on you."

He chuckled and never had a sounded rang so sweet in her ears. She liked his chuckle. And he liked that she liked his chuckle and I, Mr. Gump didn't like any of it. He pressed on with more questions, all of which she answered in a whimsical way until he leaned over across the console of the truck and pulled her closer to him to whisper into her ear – "I want you, let me have you."

Ty closed her eyes and took in a breath while he began to kiss her neck. She even prayed to God that he do something....mover her to get away...cause an alarm somewhere so that she could escape. But God was effectively saying, "You're on your own kid." Feeling abandoned by the one soul that she trusted...the one soul that knew what was going to happen...she turned to him...Porch guy...and said...how many women are after you?

Not the best way to tense up a conversation but it did slow it down some. He planted a small kiss on her lips...lips that could have told her anything and she would have accepted it...and said, none. He works too much. Women these days don't like a hardworking man. She let out a "Ha! Are you serious? The world is a crazy place."

She asked him, does he normally just whip it out for women like that? And he told her no. But that he had made a special exception for her. She gave him a look. He reared back and looked at her and asked what that look was for. Good that it was translated the right way because that look said - bullshit. He got to explaining himself. He really likes her and is also what he calls a freak in the sheets. Which explains a lot of his behavior. She nodded in her understanding and began searching for the door handle once more...but at no point had she said...I shouldn't be here. This needs to stop. We can't do this.

She was enamored with him and taken in by his advances.

Dude – do you know how long it's been since anyone has kissed me?! Like FOREVER!

Hush! I'm speaking...you've said and done all that you need to say. It's time your rational thought take over. For those who are uncertain of what's going on here...I am her conscience, the rational one and no...God did not abandon you – he was working his magic over this situation and doing the very thing in you that you needed to have happen. You are sober of thought, free of lover boy's advances and are thinking clearly for once.

Dammit!

See what I mean Mr. Gump – just plain stupid. What she refuses to see is that she is worth more than meets the eye. She's had men attracted to her before and hadn't reacted the way that she is now. She has flirted and has never behaved so...so loose before. What in the world is happening? Has she not learned anything over the last five years – or even the last 30?! Now don't get me wrong – the young man is a true beauty to behold...and seems to have everything she likes but his manner is so strong, his will is not forceful but persistent...and his confidence is through the roof. She loves that! But what can I say to get her to THINK. She can't do this.

There are reasons why! She doesn't want to just be casual sex for someone ...and he wants a long term casual sex situation with no relationship...just friends. Do you know how idiotic that sounds?! No...we are not going for it. We're a package deal. As her friend Hazel says..."You f*ck with me, You're stuck with me!" No matter how much her inner lust puppet whines and complains...I'll be the one pulling the strings from now on.

Do you know how hard it is to get her to exhibit self-control? We don't kiss random men! We don't run off in the shadows of midnight to do whatever he wanted. Good thing I was there! Who knows what madness she would have given in to?! We need prudence! We need discipline! We need self- con...

And that's where we end her programming. Mr. Gump, I assure you that I ...am far from stupid...I just have stupid moments. There's a difference. You know yourself about the way the world is and how the people in are characters all on their own. You know how we occasionally get things in our minds, do things that don't make sense...even say things that don't make sense. This is far from a being in love situation...this is the stuff Rod Stewart sang about...Infatuation! Love makes us do stupid things...this isn't love.... yet...man...I am stupid. You and Jenny were two peas in a pod and went together like peas and carrots...Me and porch guy just have a bunch of raging hormones between us and can't really see each other beyond that.

But I want to see him beyond that. I want to know the person he is. I'd love to lose myself for once and forget about the world and the people and the things that always keep me distracted from what I'd like to do...like responsibility. And let's talk about responsibility...why do I have to be the grown up here? Why can't he? Why do I have to straighten up and fly right and deprive myself of what could be some happiness? Why Me?!

Because porch guy just wants to take advantage of you.

But he also said he wanted to take the time to get to know me...you heard him.

That was because he thinks you are going to give it up.

But...

No buts. We cannot allow this. Take it for what it is...a huge compliment on how lovely a person you are. You still got it girl!

Oh shut up!

What? I'm just trying to get you to look on the bright side of things.

You called me stupid! You wrote a whole letter to Forest Gump.

I figured he'd know what to do since he kind of wrote the book on Stupid.

I think you're wrong. That man is a genius in his own right...he may not have the mental constitution some have...but still, he's an awesome human being.

He's fictional dumb ass!

Screw you, Me! I don't have to keep taking your crap!

Uh! I think you do. And do you know how crazy you look right now – arguing with yourself?

I do this shit every day. In the mirror, in the car, at home, in bed...online. So what.

Let's end this here. Now ...what are you going to tell your beau?

The truth. And hope to God I don't get hurt in the process.

Good girl. Pain builds character and scars my dear are just road maps to our true destination.

Hell?

No!

Purgatory?

No!

Great...I'm doomed to wander Earth alone...for all eternity...with just me and my prudence and responsibilities. That's fucking wonderful, me. Thanks.

Oh stop being so dramatic. The right one will come along.

Across a crowded room?

No...

He's probably not even born yet.

That's a girl! Way to look towards the future! Every cloud has a silver lining, every wing a wind beneath it, every door opens to new opportunity, every...

Just...just...shut up.

Thank you Mister Gump, we look forward to your response! Until then ....just keep running! Or whatever you do now. Yeah. Anyways, our love to you and yours. You are a great inspiration to the feeble minded everywhere...especially Ty. She doesn't want me to tell you this but sometimes when she's alone or think no one's watching she...

Dear God, Make her stop.

Stopping.