I sit with headphones on because I wanted some beautiful music – something that would spark inspiration from the depths of my soul and drive me to write today. I have come to the conclusion that no such thing exists. I wanted scenery that would open up my imagination and translate every image my eyes had taken in into words, so I sat in front of the window with the curtains open wide. I have come to the conclusion no such scenery is available. I needed to wake up and taste something wonderful and decadent at the same time, hoping to God that I could get the synapses in my brain to fire simultaneously thus propelling me into a creative spurt – but....the coffee today was only mediocre and not the fabulous blend that I have run out of. The air conditioning has it feeling like the middle of winter in the house and I really wanted some fuzzy warmth to abate the frostbite of my toes. As it turns out, I do not own a pair of fuzzy socks so ...leopard print socks will have to do. Not the cozy sensation I wanted but my toes have been saved.

All of this may seem unrelated to you but it is a skill that I had to set into motion this morning to deal with the anxiety I had from receiving only a few hours of sleep and being awakened abruptly by my son. Bedtime was 4 am as I was up talking to a friend on the phone hashing out our personal issues. We both needed the talk – to hear another human being say, "It's going to be alright." It did our hearts some good. But today the listening and the seeing and the tasting and the feeling is a skill that I was taught to engage my senses to keep the effects of anxiety down.

So what am I doing now?

Rewiring my brain – I am currently looking for something to listen to while I write. It doesn't have to be inspiration giving, it just has to make me feel good. I am enjoying the sun shine through the window seeing bounce off different surfaces in the room. I am drinking water because I've met my coffee maximum for now – anything more and the anxiety will try to overtake me. And I have some warmth – I warm my feet and the rest of my body is in compliance. Good deal.

All that stuff about there being no such thing as inspiring music and scenery isn't just me being pissy and in a foul mood. It's true. Do you know who the greatest source of inspiration is? No? I'll let you in on a little secret...you need only stand in the mirror and gaze upon the greatest inspiration your life has known.

You have been through much...things that might kill another person you survived. You are a wealth of stories, and anecdotes about life, death, love, and hate. You are! You know the secret to life – hell, you are the secret to life, you know the magic of love and the recipe for success...yes you do!

Look...I didn't come here to argue with you. I'm just telling you what I know. You are what's hot right now. You are the next big thing. Forget about those celebrities...you know how they operate. They follow the trends ...you are trending. Have you met you?! Okay, because I have and I think you're hot. I may be a little biased but hey – who isn't? I love you!

I bet you thought at the beginning of this thing this was just going to be another post about depression and anxiety. Nope...told ya, you're in my mind and you are along for the ride. So as I rewire my brain with focusing all of my attention on you – you can see how I went from...meh blah...to...we're going to have the time of our lives. Now, it's okay – I bet some of you are wondering how one goes from one extreme to the next without being bi-polar. I often wonder this myself but it's very easy. Just look at things differently. Plus...music. It's like cheese for your brain and ears...makes everything better.

So back to you. How you feeling? You alright? Getting enough rest and water? Have you eaten anything yet? You know – it's a little after 3:30 pm where I am...I hope you've at least snacked on something. Feed yourself! LOL Food helps us think clearly...it really does. And eat something good. Something savory and awesome. Something well- seasoned and worthy of seconds. Too hot to cook? Chicken salad with grapes and walnuts. Always a favorite go to for me. Try it.

Listen...I meant for this to be longer. I really did but there are characters sitting in limbo in my head that need to talk to me. They want me to finish their story (the novel) and I mean to do it. I will see you later tonight... I feel like I need to come back and talk more with you...maybe, just maybe ...we'll talk a little bit about me. *shrugs* If that's cool??? Cause I'm perfectly fine with this conversation being about you. I really am.

Okay...I must go. See ya laterz!