can't scrub away a memory


     Daryn stared down at the word puzzle intently. He turned on the table lamp to his left and squinted slightly, adjusting his glasses. The darkened room gave an intense feeling, but he was set on finishing his puzzle. He heard a sniff to his right but ignored it. He checked off another box. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Acadia. A tear fell from her cheek. He turned his head up and toward her. She sat on a chair to his right.

     "Are you ok?" he asked. She gave a weak smile and wiped her right eye gently with her handkerchief.

     "I'm ok," she nodded. He turned back to his word puzzle, squinted his eyes tight, and again spoke.

     "I have never seen someone in such despair." He set down the word puzzle and walked over to the sofa. "I promised I would be here with you. Do you want me to start up a warm bath for you? I have some exfoliating rose petals in the cabinets and I think you really need some comfort." Acadia nodded. Silently, she scooted closer to Daryn. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly. He then left toward the bathroom. Acadia stared into the fireplace. Not because of the burning sensation on her right arm, but because it was a source of light. She needed that right now. She frowned and turned to the kitchen door, where she heard a sharp noise. She didn't realize it at first, but she was standing up.

     Before she knew it, she was close enough to touch the door. She knocked on the door. No answer. She took the handle with her right hand. It startled her, for it was not cold, as metal handles usually are. It was hot. Burning. Untouchable. She winced and held her right hand with her left. She knew that pain was not real, but the pain she felt inside was no joke. Suddenly, she felt a sensation on her shoulder, the same as that of a spider crawling across it. A hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. She would have screamed if she had any bit of voice left. Her jump was enough, however, to obtain an apology from Daryn.

He took her hand and placed five petals in it. Five petals, five rings, five stormy nights. Her mind wandered for a moment, then she realized Daryn was ushering her toward the bathroom. She walked slowly with him. Once to the bathroom, he lifted her chin and smiled softly. "Acadia. Rest now. He is gone." He closed the door gently. Acadia was alone now. She felt the pain in her arm now that her mind was directed to it. She slowly made her way over to the bathtub. She set down the petals and dipped a toe in, cautiously. She felt the temperature course through her body as she sunk down into it.

Her mind blanked and she felt at peace for a moment. She took a petal and began scrubbing her left leg using one petal, and then her right using another. She felt some of the pain leave, for the good feeling of the warm water overtook. She then scrubbed her left arm with the third. Though bruised, it didn't feel as bad as she knew her right arm would. When it came time to feel her right arm, the memory came drifting back. She winced and bit her lip. The pain would remain with her forever.

She closed her eyes and saw his face. He was holding onto her left arm tightly again, and screaming at her. She fell face-first on the floor of his bedroom once again.

She felt the pain again. The vision of the large, dark-faced man who ripped through her dress and defiled her. Day one, on the floor in the corner of the living room. On day two, he took her upstairs and gave her food and drink. On day three, he closed the bedroom door behind him. On day four, she wished she could pass away and forget what it felt like to live through this hell. Day five, the hot metal piercing her nerves and burning her arm, the voice she lost that night. It had been two weeks since that night, but the memory never ceased.

His face was all she saw. The rose he offered her, the black car that showed up to take her away. She could almost remember how it felt to be in the back of his car. She felt her body sinking into the water until she was fully submerged. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling through the veil of crystal liquid.

And even though it was all over, a war would forever wage inside her head. When she opened her eyes, she gasped. She fell against the side of the ceramic tub as water spewed all over the floor. The door flung open and soon her face was being taken into soft hands, and the anxiety, the fear washed away. She looked up into the puppy dog eyes. Daryn...Reading glasses on the tip of his nose, and a worried expression on his face. She knew him. She felt comfortable once again. He cared about her, genuinely. He didn't want her body, he didn't want her face. He wanted Acadia. The person.

"I'm okay," Acadia said in a low rasp. "It was just a- just a vision. I'll finish up quickly." Daryn nodded and left the bathroom.

Though she used the last petal to scrub her face, she knew it would never scrub the pain away. It would never wash away his face, and no amount of scrubbing would ever wash away the memory.

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