May of 2007

"One week, dude," Alex shouted as he entered the apartment. "One more fucking week and then no more school for the rest of our lives."

One more week and Dylan would be forced into the real world, and damn if it didn't scare the living shit out of him. He'd majored in English Literature, but still had no clue what to do with that. Dylan wasn't even sure if he was employable. Sure, he had the smarts, but the inability to interact with people was something he knew would hold him back once college was over.

His parents had a friend who owned a small publishing house about an hour away from where he grew up. An editing position was already offered to him, and knowing him, he'd take it. The guy already knew Dylan was social inept. While he wanted to pave his own way, at least he would get them the hell out of the city that was suffocating him from the inside out.

Dylan hadn't seen Hailey in five months. He'd wanted to go there the next day to explain to her what'd happened; assure her she'd done nothing wrong or misread anything. He wanted to tell her he was crazy about her, but unfortunately also run-of-the-mill crazy. It was one of Dylan's bigger regrets, no walking right in there and telling her that while he wanted to be with her, he seemed incapable of being with anyone. At least then she wouldn't have taken the blame or felt like a fool.

"You and I are going to a party tomorrow, by the way."

Dylan glanced up from his book; the one that was his favorite and had planned to have Hailey read. "I'm not going, but feel free."

Because college was almost over and Alex planned to remain in the city, while Dylan would be moving away, there was no point in humoring the guy any longer.

Rather than roll his eyes at Dylan like he always did, Alex walked further into the living room and sat on the chair beside where Dylan sat on the couch. "You know you can be honest with me, and I won't think any less of you, right? I mean, I know I'm a guys guy and everything, but that doesn't mean I won't accept you."

It was the greatest lie he never thought to tell, and Dylan was mentally kicking himself for not thinking of it their freshman year of college. Shit, his freshman year of high school. His parents would have accepted him if he'd come out, and Alex was a progressive enough dude.

"I mean, that's why you always hate going out and having parties, right?" Alex continued when he didn't respond. "You don't like girls eyeing you up or feeling like you have to act a certain way. If you talk to people, they might see through your big, bad secret. But it isn't anything to be ashamed of, Dylan."

Nothing had to do with sexual preference so much as sexual hang ups, but if they removed the reason from the equation, it was all dead-on.

The hatred he had for parties had to do with the women who assumed he was normal at a distance; the ones who liked what they saw on the inside, but did not know how to handle what was going on within. If he allowed anyone to get close enough, even his best friend or his parents, he risked being seen for what he was.

Dylan rested his eyes back on the page of his book. "Fine, I'm gay."

Alex's eyes stared with no holding back or remorse, but Dylan didn't bother to meet the gaze. "Are you? Because that wasn't real convincing."

The question only earned a shrug from Dylan, who turned the page and acted like the conversation never occurred. A knock on the door was the only thing that forced his eyes away from the book. "You expecting company?"

Alex stood from the table and crossed his arms. "Yeah. A girl I've been seeing. She wanted to stop by before her shift. Works at the diner a couple of blocks away. Dude, are you gay or not?"

Dylan hadn't even heard the question that time. He was too focused on the comment prior to it. "You're dating Hailey?"

"You know her?" Alex asked with narrowed eyes.

He wouldn't allow himself to know her, just as he wouldn't allow her to know him. Not really. Not in the deepest sense of the meaning. "I know her. She's a nice girl, so don't fuck it up."

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but she knocked a second time, forcing the conversation to be abandoned.

The love Dylan felt for his best friend was real, but Alex was a player and never denied it. The guy floated from one girl to the next, and if he did that to Hailey and left her heartbroken, the friendship they'd shared for nearly twenty years would never be the same.

Dylan never went back to see her because Hailey deserved more than just pieces of the man he was, and also deserved more than the scraps Alex tossed women's way. She deserved a genuine relationship, something he feared neither man was capable of giving her.

Hearing the front door open and the sound of her voice, Dylan looked over and saw her standing in the doorway. The surprise he expected to see when their eyes locked wasn't there. Instead she just pressed her lips together in a fine line and looked away from him as if he never existed to her at all.

"So I just found out you guys know each other."

Hailey readjusted her light blazer, tugging at the jean sleeves. "Ah, yeah. Kind of. He used to come into the diner sometimes."

Just some random customer she used to wait on. Nothing more. Not the other member in her super quiet book club. The man she used to pry a smile or few words out of. The man who walked by her side in the darkness and gave her the minuscule pieces he knew how to give.

"You guys hang out here for a while. I'm heading to the library," Dylan told them as he shut his book and placed it on the table.

"Come on, man, hang out with us. You're leaving in two weeks and I want my best friend to get to know my girl."

Dylan stood and walked passed them, noticing Hailey try to reach out, only for Alex to grab her arm before her delicate, well meaning fingers could graze his sleeve.

"Sorry, Hailey, but he freaks out when anyone touches him," his friend explained before releasing her."

When Hailey's eyes grew, Dylan knew she'd figured out the mistake that occurred five months prior. He also noticed flecks of green he hadn't seen before in the crappy lighting of the diner. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You two have fun. Maybe I'll see you again before I leave town," Dylan told her, hoping she understood the double meaning.

By the way she pressed her lips together again before nodding her head at a slow, lazy pace, she had.