Kairo's POV

"No, babe. Let me explain," I pulled her close to me for a hug but she immediately pulled away.

"Tignan mo, galing ka sa bahay niyo at galing din sa inyo si Luna tapos amoy alak ka! I didn't let you go earlier thinking you're gonna do some schoolworks just to drink with her!" she yelled.

"We did talked about our output–"

"Tapos ano? Celebration kaya nag-inom kayo nang dalawa lang kayo? Tangina naman, Kairo!"

"You have to trust me, Jordyn" I reached for her hands to hold. "Trust me on this, babe"

She cried.. She cried hard. Tears continuously fell from her eyes to her cheeks. She lowered her head so she could hide the pain evident in her eyes from me. It feels like my heart is being shattered.

Hindi ko pala kayang makitang umiiyak si Jordyn.

"I'm trying, Kai.. but it's fucking hard. Mahal na mahal kita kaya gusto kong malaman mong nagtitiwala ako sa'yo pero ang hirap pa rin e," she sobbed.

"Kai, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal," diretso siyang nakatingin sa mga mata ko kaya nakikita ko ang pagmamaga at pagpupula ng mga mata niya. "Pero 'yung takot. 'Yung trauma na ibinigay sa akin ni Luna.. nasa akin pa din e. At natatakot ako na mangyari ulit sa akin"

"Babe, we'll get through this, okay? We'll work this out basta hindi tayo maghihiwalay.. Hindi pwede, Jordyn"

"Tama na, Kairo. The thing I kept on overthinking about is happening already and it makes me paranoid, crazy, it makes me overthink scenarios that might happen kapag hindi tayo magkasama! Nakakatakot, nakakapraning!"

Kaidyn ran towards her Mom to comfort her and Jordyn immediately picked her up, still crying. My vision started to get blurry. Naramdaman ko na din na tumutulo na ang mga luhang pilit kong kanina pang pinipigilan.

"Ayaw ko na. Nakakapagod na," Jordyn said as she put Kaidyn down.

"Hindi mo kailangan gawin 'to!" Sigaw ko sa kanya at tuluyang tumulo ang mga luha niya ulit. Lumapit ako sa kanya at sinubukang hawakan ang pisngi niya pero tinabig niya ang kamay ko.

"Kairo, pagod na ako. Pagod na ako sa lahat! Sa relasyon nating ito, nakakadrain," Sigaw niya bago mapaluhod sa sahig, tiningnan ko siya.

Tears are uncontrollably falling from my eyes. I'm scared, scared about Jordyn and her decisions. I'm fucking scared to lose her.

"Bakit ka napagod? Teka lang, hindi sapat na rason ang pagod na Jordyn!" I told her and she laughed sarcastically while the tears were falling down on her cheeks.

"Gago ka ba? Ako na lang kailangang umintindi sa'yong hinayupak ka! Wala ka na lang laging oras sa akin, lagi mo kong pinapa-asa sa mga alis natin. Ni hindi mo nga kayang tanggihan ang ibang tao nang diretsohan nang hindi tumitingin sa akin para maawa ako sayo eh!"

"Putangina naman Jordyn! Kung pagod ka, magpahinga ka kasama ako. Hindi yung bigla bigla ka na lang magsasabi na ayaw mo na at ang tanginang dahilan ay dahil kulang ako sa oras. 'Di mo ba maintindihan na ang dami kong ginagawa? Marami akong priorities at isa ka nga doon. I'm trying my best to give some time para sa iyo pero parang kasalanan ko pa na hindi ko magawa lahat kasama ka. I'm doing everything for our future, Jordyn!" mahabang sabi ko bago pumantay sa level niya.

"Not even in my weakest moment I considered letting you go. Mahal kita eh. Tangina, minsan naisip ko na tumigil na sa mga ginagawa ko minsan gusto kong tumakas sa napaka-madayang mundo pero lagi kong naiisip ikaw. Hindi ko kayang iwan si Jordyn, hindi kita kayang iwan kasi alam kong nandoon ka pa rin sa prosesong paglunas ng mga dating sakit na naramdaman mo na," sabi ko sa kanya and she was left looking at me at natigil na rin ang kanyang mga luha.

May sasabihin sana si Jordyn pero pinigilan ko siya, "Bukas tayo mag usap. Susunduin kita maghanda ka na lang. Walang maghihiwalay dito," I told her before kissing her forehead.

Maybe you'll change your mind, my love.

I drove home, crying. Nang makapasok ako sa bahay, si Hiara ang natanaw ko na nakaupo sa sala.

"Luh, Kuya, why are you crying?" Tumakbo siya papunta sa akin para suriin ang lagay ko.

"Wala 'to. Pagod lang siguro," I tried my best to give her a smile. "Tell Mom and Dad that I won't be eating dinner. Magpapahinga na lang ako"

Dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko, naghilamos saka isinalampak ang katawan sa kama. Kinuha ko ang phone ko saka nagsend ng message kay Jordyn.

To: Babe.

Eat dinner. I love you.

After doing that, hindi ko na namalayan na nakatulog na ako. Nagising na lang ako nang may kumatok sa kwarto ko. Tumayo ako para pagbuksan 'yon and I saw Mommy.

We both sat on my bed, waiting for someone to talk first.

"Hiara told us that you went home crying last night. What happened?" she asked, concerned.

Naalala ko na naman kaagad si Jordyn at ang sinabi niya sa akin pagkabukas ko sa dorm niya. Tangina, takot akong mawala sa akin si Jordyn. Hindi ko kaya.

"Mom, when you have someone whom you're very scared to lose, then they tell you to let them go, what should you do?"

She smiled at me before brushing my hair with her hand.

"Then let them go," she said. "Minsan, anak, hindi sapat ang pagmamahal para pagsamahin ang dalawang tao. Kung gusto niya ng kalayaan mula sa'yo, ibigay mo. Maybe she's going through something and the only thing you can do to help her is to let her go.. Think of it, Kai."

I spent almost half of the day thinking about Mom's words. Naiinis ako kasi tama si Mommy pero the idea of losing Jordyn just kills me. The thought of letting her go makes me question everything I've done. Saan ba ako nagkamali para mapagod si Jordyn?

I am currently in front of Jordyn's dorm and having second thoughts about continuing seeing her today or not because I am not brave enough for her decision. Nevertheless, I knocked on her door and she opened it immediately.

I kissed her on top of her head but she ignored me and walked back to the sala to continue doing what she's doing. It seems like she's already waiting for me to arrive. Nakahanda na siya at nakabihis na ng panlakad.

She's quietly fixing her bag, not paying any mind that I'm with her. Nakipaglaro na lang muna ako kay Kaidyn para lang may magawa man lang ako.

"Let's go. Saan ba tayo pupunta?" Jordyn asked while wearing her shoes.

"You'll know," I smiled at her. "About yesterday.. Have you changed your mind?"

Instead of answering me, binitbit niya ang bag niya saka tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo. She obviously ignored my question. I sighed heavily before putting Kaidyn down. I locked Jordyn's dorm and we went straight into my car.

The drive was very quiet. Nakakabingi sa sobrang tahimik. Not until Jordyn decided to break the silence..

"I've already thought about the words I've said yesterday. I rethought every phrase I threw at you yesterday but no.. I still haven't changed my mind"

Her words are extra hurtful today. Just like knives as she threw them on me. I stopped my emotions from taking over me since I'm driving but deep inside, kulang na lang humiling ako at magmakaawa sa Diyos na 'wag na ilayo si Jordyn sa akin.

After quite a while, we arrived at Manila Bay. The view is fascinating, saktong hapon pa. The place is serene and comforting. I could stay here forever. We sat on the white sand, staring at the captivating horizon.

"Falling for you was unplanned and unexpected," Jordyn started kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. "Hindi ko akalain na sasaya ako kapag nakakasama kita. Hindi ko alam na mamahalin kita e. I was wounded by another person when I met you and you healed those wounds of mine."

"Jordyn.."

"That's why I told myself that the moment you hurt me, the moment I get wounded by you, it will leave a whole damn scar," she chuckled. "I'll be scarred."

She looked at me and when our eyes met, napansin ko na kaagad ang namumuong luha sa mata niya. Pinunasan niya kaagad 'yon ng kamay niya para maagapan at saka ibinalik ang tingin sa langit.

"But it'll be okay because every time I'll remember my scars, I will think of you. Kahit gaano pa kadami, basta galing sa'yo, siguro naman okay lang," she looked at me. "Give me scars, as much as you want.. Just let me go, Kai."

"Babe, please," Huminga ako nang malalim upang pigilan ang mga luha ko. "'Wag naman ganito, Jordyn. I'll fix things, babawi ako sa'yo. Pangako"

"Tama na muna siguro, Kai," she smiled at me, tears falling from her eyes. "Dito na lang muna siguro tayo. Nahihirapan tayo pareho e. Masyado pa tayong busy sa mga buhay natin.."

"Babe.. Jordyn, please. Don't let this go yet," I begged. "Please, babe. Hindi ko na alam kung paano magpapatuloy kapag wala ka e. I don't know what I would do if you're gone. Jordyn, let's try just once more."

Umiling siya sa akin. She must really want me to let her go. She must really want freedom from me but how about me? What if I don't really want to let her go? Paano naman ako?

"Why does it seem like it's so easy for you to let us go?" I asked.

The silence reigned between us. I was waiting for her to talk while she looked like she's thinking of the right answer to tell me. Hindi ko inakala na darating kami sa punto na kakailanganin ko humingi sa kaniya ng sagot sa ganoong klaseng tanong.

"I don't know.. Maybe because our relationship started from a bet."

My brows furrowed as I processed what she just said.

"Binabaliw mo ako, Jordyn," I scoffed. "So what do you mean? That all throughout the time we've been together, it's just because of the consequence you got when you lose our bet?"

"Exactly. Now let me go, Kai. Pagod na akong magpatuloy pa–"

"But you said you love me," I reasoned out because that's what she kept on telling me last night. "Kaya paano mo nasasabing dahil lang sa pustahan 'tong relasyon natin?"

"I do love you.. But I stayed because I wanted to face the consequences of the bet. Ako ang unang na-attach but I guess, I was also the first one who got tired."

I closed my fist tight, hoping that it would stop my tears from falling but again, it failed. Jordyn could see the tears of mine since I'm looking directly at her. I just hope that she knows she's the first one to cause me pain, to cause my heart pain.

I put my gaze back to the sunset at tiningnan niya rin iyon. It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when the heart still does. I don't know how I'll get through the pain but this time, I thought about Mom's words.

Maybe she's going through something and the only thing you can do to help her is to let her go.

"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" I said before turning my full attention to her. "I'm only doing this because I love you and I want you to be happy. I want you to have your freedom and here it is"

I kissed her before turning my back against her. The pain was just too much for me to take in.

The next day was a Monday. I went to my morning class heavy-hearted. Hindi pa nakakatulong ang tingin ng ibang estudyante, probably because of the video and articles that have spread online pero wala na rin akong pakialam.

Lunch time arrived, I was on my way to the cafeteria when I ran into Chase. Inakbayan niya ako at dinaluhan sa pagbili ng pagkain.

"What happened?" he curiously asked. "Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga title ng article but why the hell did Luna went out from your house?"

"We talked and planned about a fucking output, then it fucked my life up. I don't even know why she knew my stupid home address," singhal ko.

Bumuntong hininga siya at tinapik ang balikat ko. After buying food, we looked for an empty seat to stay and eat there.

"How's Jordyn?"

"We broke up. I don't want to let her go but she begged just so she could end us and from that, alam ko na kaya niyang gawin at sabihin lahat para lang mapalayo sa akin," I sighed.

"I told you that being with her is difficult but I'm still amazed because you made it look like making her happy is easy," he pointed out. "Pakiramdam ko napakahirap makipagsabayan kay Jordyn pero kapag nakikita ko kayo na magkasama, parang napakadali lang. It's like you are the person the stars aligned her."

It's like you are the person the stars aligned her

Sana nga totoo.

"Did Luna tell you anything about Jordyn?" he curiously asked.

Naalala ko na naman ang mga sinabi sa'kin ni Luna. Fuck her and the things she did which made Jordyn go through a hard time. If fate separating me from Jordyn means that I don't deserve her, lalo naman si Luna.

"Yeah," I sighed.

We talked more about what happened dahil sa totoo lang, si Chase at Jordyn lang naman ang masasabi kong mapagkakatiwalaan ko sa university na 'to. I could say that Chase somehow consoled me. We ended our conversation after the lunch break ended.

"Ano, dude? Let's drink later?" He invited me.

Nagdalawang isip pa ako dahil pwede ko naman ituon na lang ang sakit na nararamdaman ko sa mga bagay na may maidudulot pa sa'kin na maganda o 'di kaya, tapusin ko na lang ang mga school works ko but in the end, kailangan ko din gumawa ng paraan para mapagaan man lang 'tong sakit na nararamdaman ko.

I wanna get lost, and numb the pain.

"Alright, just dm me the time and place"

We went to our afternoon class. Kinailangan ko umayos sa pakikinig dahil Business Law ang subject. I tried to keep and write notes while listening to our prof. Sa kabutihang palad, I kept up with it until dismissal time arrived.

I encountered Luna on my way out of the building, she looked at me with her damn eyes but I just continued walking. When I arrived at the parking area, natigilan ako nang makita ko si Jordyn.

She's with Joziah. His arm is resting on Jordyn's shoulder and they're on their way out of the campus. I felt anger and jealousy but I do not have the right to walk up to her and ask her why she's with him.

Anger, jealousy but pain is dominant.

I drove home to rest for a bit and take a cold shower. I wore a black short sleeve dress shirt, black pants and a belt. After that, nareceive ko na ang direct message ni Chase sa akin indicating the time and name of the place.

@cchaseme: brooo, g?

@cchaseme: 7pm, BGC, Bank Bar

@cchaseme: haha, see you!

Nagpaalam na kaagad ako sa mga tao sa bahay at nagdrive na papunta sa place na sinabi ni Chase. I arrived around 6:45 pm and looked for a table before sending Chase a message.

@KaiEugenio: I'm already here.

I waited for a few more minutes before he arrived. Um-order na rin kami kaagad ng mga inumin. The place was big and majestic, it was hidden and somehow hard to find but was worth it.

"So, you really came! I thought you'd ghost me," Chase laughed.

"I could but I did not, lucky you," I smirked before drinking from my glass.

"Of course, of course. You're Kairo Eugenio"

We both laughed and talked about things. Being with Chase honestly makes me feel better. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba naiintindihan niya ako o dahil willing siyang pakinggan ako but his company means a lot.

"Jordyn is a gem, but so are you," he randomly said. "I hope that you'd both find your way back to each other. You deserve each other.. maybe not now.. But I'm sure you deserve each other"

Two hours passed. Four bottles down. I still have lots of drinks in my glass. Nararamdaman ko ang pag-init ng mukha ko dahil sa alak but I'm still fine.

Chase went to the restroom. I checked my phone and opened my instagram. Jordyn uploaded a story so I clicked to check it but of course, I regret being so eager to see it.

It was a stolen shot of Joziah and she's pointing at him.

The caption says 'hey you! thanks for the free drinks, my pained heart is happy :)'

I was about to turn my phone off just when I realized that the place they are in is familiar. I again looked around at the bar and hell, we're in the same place all this time?

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkaka-upo at inikot ang buong lugar. I saw Joziah and Jordyn laughing with each other, probably talking about the most stupid things. It angered me.

I'm not sure if it was my shattered heart, my tipsy self or the jealousy I felt but something urged me to walk towards them and reach for Jordyn's arm.

"K-Kai.." She looked surprised. "What.. What are you doing here?"

"Let's talk"