2222 words

-
-

A few months later, and it’s almost Christmas. Dan and Phil have been talking nonstop during church school. Dan’s father was becoming angry at Dan for talking during prayers all the time lately. He was proud of Dan for making a close friend, but not one who would distract him from his scriptures.

Dan’s father watched as Dan laughed with Phil, blushing as they joked. Mr. Howell didn’t like seeing his son flush because of a boy.

Dan loved hearing Phil laugh. He noticed many little things about Phil over the past couple of months, like the way Phil would just barely stick out his tongue when laughing. Or when his eyes would sparkle when Phil looked at him. Obviously, the sparkle was just because they became good friends. But what Dan didn’t know was how much he really didn’t know about Phil.

After church school is over, Dan and Phil both leave together. They walk to where they usually do before stopping and saying bye as usual. Only something was different this time. Usually, Phil makes sure Dan doesn’t follow behind him. But he never knew why this was. Today he decided he would wait for him to leave before following, so he can see..see what it was about Phil that seemed different from everyone else. As if he was hiding something..

As Phil is leaving, Dan makes sure to keep his distance before following him. Phil continues to walk for about ten minutes before finally turning into a driveway.

Dan watches as Phil takes his mail and walks inside. Through the window, he saw an old lady hugging Phil. He assumed Phil lived with his grandmother. Why? All kids live with their parents, unless they’ve disgraced them somehow. (That’s false lmao church kids *rolls eyes*)

But how could Phil have disgraced his family? He was one of the greatest people he’s met.

Dan shrugged off the thought and walked away. He didn’t know what was going on with Phil, but apparently something had.

Phil watched out his window as Dan walked away. He knew Dan was following him, but not why. He decided to just keep quiet to see what it was Dan wanted.

After about a week of Dan following Phil home, he was fed up.

“Dan, I know you’re behind me.” Phil said one day while walking down the road. Dan immediately stopped walking and starting blushing to himself.

Phil turned around and smiled at Dan’s reaction. “Dan, it’s fine. I just want to know why..”

Dan hid his hands in his sleeves, Phil noticed that he did this when his heart raced. Whether it be he was mad, feeling something, or whatever. “I just wondered..’cause you never let me walk with you, I wanted to know why..plus you seem, different..from everyone else..”

Phil smiled and walked up to Dan before lightly grabbing his arm. Dan looked down at his arm and back up at Phil, like he had done something wrong.

Phil just smiled and walked the rest of the way to his house with Dan.

“Well, I’d introduce you to my home, but you’ve already spied on me enough to know about it.” Phil joked.

Dan immediately freaked out. “N-No! It’s not like that, I was just curious! I didn’t spy, I didn’t even stay long enough to see you! I just-”

Phil laughed at Dan stammering, falling over his words. “I was just kidding Daniel.”

Dan blushed, embarrassed, before backing up from the house. “I should, go home..” he said before turning to leave.

“Dan,” Dan turned around at hearing his name from Phil. “would you like to come inside? My grandmother’s been dying to meet you. And she’s quite old, so I wouldn’t keep her waiting too long.”

Dan laughed. “It is a little cold out here, I guess.” He said quietly before nervously heading inside Phil’s home. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna go find my grandma and come back.” After that, he left the room.

Dan looked around the house. It wasn’t too bad, nicer than his house even. He walked down the hall more, looking around while he waited for Phil. He looked down the hall and saw a blue door, different from the rest of the doors. It was slightly opened. He walked near it, opening the door just a bit more. As he heard footsteps behind him, he quickly turned around, facing Phil.

“Dan, what are you doing in my room?” He laughed a little. Dan was confused now. Phil’s room? Is that what it was? He turned back around to see the door again. “You can go inside, if you want.”

Phil opened the door for him and let him inside the room. All the walls were a light blue. His bed covers were blue and green checkered. Posters of Muse, Fall out Boy, and Uma Thurman were taped onto his walls. His closet was filled with dark clothes, and his dresser was littered practically of elastic bracelets and piercings.

Dan was practically in awe of his room. But why did he have all these dark things? It wasn’t allowed. This couldn’t be Phil’s room, he was a kind church boy. Why would he have these clothes, going against what the bible says? He doesn’t feel scared though. “Look around carefully. You’ll find things that might bother your little church act.” Phil spoke naturally yet coldly, as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

Dan looked up at him. “What do you mean ‘church act’, exactly?” He stepped closer, a bit hurt by his choice of words. Phil looked up at him, not realising he had hurt Dan. He lightly pat his hand against the bed next to him, motioning Dan to sit down by him. “Dan, that’s not what I meant..”

Dan didn’t want to hear it, so he just quickly changed the subject. “Phil, why do you have all these things? Dark clothes, piercings, elastic bands..”

Phil looked around his room and realised how much it must bother Dan. He just went from ‘church boy, worship the bible’ environment, to suddenly facing everything against what he was taught was good and bad. “I have these because this is who I am. I like to wear dark clothes and piercings, I like to listen to Muse. I like being different from everyone.”

Dan looked up at him. “Why?” He asked innocently, like a smol child.

He looked down at Dan and smiled before falling back onto his bed to lay down, his arms under his head. “Because, Dan. It doesn’t matter what I look like, or who I am as a person. God created us all for a reason, and he loves us all, correct?” Dan nodded. “So, why would God love me any less like this? The bible encourages us to be our own person and to love thy neighbor, so what does it matter if thy neighbor is a little different from you? God created us in his image, so why would he hate someone like me? Someone he loves all the same as everyone else?”

Dan still didn’t understand. “But Phil, this is bad. It’s like worshiping the devil!”

Phil wanted to get furious and knock some sense into him, but he knew Dan was raised this way. You can’t change someone that quick when they’re used to one thing their whole lives.

“It’s not worshiping the devil, Daniel. Tell me, when you have kids, you love all of them, right? No matter their flaws and mistakes, they are still your children, right?” Dan nodded again in agreement.“So, why would you love one of your kids any less just because he thinks different? He made some mistakes and was raised to think his own way. But does that make him suddenly not your child anymore?” Dan shook his head.

“So what does it matter if someone is different? They are still a person all the same, and you both pray to the same holy father and mother, so why should it matter how you look while doing it?”

Dan nodded slowly. It made sense to him. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with what you look like, or how you think. There’s been times Dan thought differently than everyone else, and he was told it was wrong. Why should it be wrong, just because he didn’t like who his parents wanted him to as a child? That’s how Dan lost his last friend..

Dan fell down next to him, his hands crossed and resting on his stomach. “Phil, do you like anyone?” He didn’t know where this question came from, but it was from somewhere obviously.

Phil looked over at Dan for a few seconds before answering. “Yes, I think I might. Why?” Dan didn’t reply, but asked another question. “Are they a boy or a girl?” Phil looked interested now. “Wouldn’t it be against the bible to like a man?” He raised an eyebrow.

Dan looked over at him, scanning his features before making his way back to his eyes. “But you said yourself, it doesn’t matter how someone thinks, looks, or feels, We all pray to the same God by the end of the day. So would it be okay to like another guy, too?” He looked nervous asking this question. He didn’t want Phil thinking he liked him, but was curious of this thought he had.

Phil smiled and faced the ceiling again. “No, it doesn’t matter, does it? It’s the same either way, still love, just for a different person..”

Dan still looked at Phil, taking in what he said. It didn’t matter whether it was a girl or guy. Love was love, that’s all that mattered.

A few hours later, they were lying across Phil’s bed, playing movies. They were laughing at most of what was going on, except for Dan. He was distracted by Phil. He loved watching Phil laugh, it was entertaining for him, the way he would stick out his tongue when he laughed. He found it adorable. Wait, adorable? As a friend, obviously, nothing more.

Phil looked over at Dan and noticed he was spaced off. Dan’s eyes scanned around Phil’s face before stopping at his lips. He didn’t realise he was moving closer to Phil slightly. Phil noticed and looked to Dan’s lips to. He always takes glances at him, but Dan never notices.

Phil started leaning into him, resting his hand on Dan’s neck softly and slowly closing his eyes. Big mistake.

Phil’s hand brought Dan to his senses, and he immediately jumped back. Phil looked at him confused but calmly. Dan looked over at Phil, surprised with himself. He was about to kiss a guy?! As much as Phil said it was fine, he didn’t feel for him in that way.

Quickly without saying goodbye, Dan stood up and left the room. He ran down the stairs and out the door. He headed as fast as he could back home without looking back. Once he was inside, he locked the door and ran up to his room, shutting his door.

His mother sat on the living room couch, wondering why he came home that way. Did something happen? Why was he blushing profusely.

Dan didn’t care what his mother was thinking. He shut his lights out and slid into his bed, his head racing with thoughts. What if they did kiss? Would something more end up happening too, or would Phil be kind and wait until he was ready? Would Phil understand that the kiss would've been an accident and that he doesn’t feel that way about him? What would have become after?

Trying to calm himself down, he thought about when he was little. Him and his closest friend Derek. Dan and him were really close, and he showed Dan a lot. His mother didn’t like him though. She said his family was bad. But Dan didn’t care, he liked his friend. He never told anyone, but Derek was actually his first kiss. At 10 years old.

Ever since then, Dan never had a best friend. His mother found out about the kiss and kept them away. A few months later, Derek moved away. His parents said it was for the better that he did, that he was trying to get Dan to worship the devil.

Dan knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t think liking guys or wearing black was bad. But he had to pretend, and he definitely couldn’t do it. He would be punished in ways no one could imagine. After his parents found out about the kiss, they beat him to near death. He couldn’t go to school for the next month because of ‘flu’.

Eventually, Dan fell asleep soundly. He dreamt good dreams of him and Derek, him and Phil. Did Phil like guys? It didn’t matter, they would stay friends regardless. What mattered was now, as Dan dreamed.

-

“Dan, I have to tell you something..” Phil was sitting on his bed next to Dan.

“What is it Phil? You can tell me anything.” Phil gulped and looked up at Dan. “Dan, your mother knows..about us..and she doesn’t like it…”

-
-
-

thanks for reading, and please message me if you have any ideas of how something should go :))