Eliza

"Eliza... I thought you decided on Cooper."

"Yeah, I decided on Cooper, but all the while I was falling in love with Theo."

"Have you told Theo that?"

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

I pause, as I finally face up to the actual reason why I've been trying so hard to defy my feelings for Theo all along.

"Because I'm scared."

"Scared of what? Theo?"

"No. His life. He was living on the streets for a reason, Liv. He must have serious problems with his family, that he may have caused. I don't know him. I don't know about his past and what led him to be who he is today."

"But telling him would lead to the both of you getting to know those intimate details about each other. Well... If he feels the same way, of course."

"But what if he's a bad guy, Liv? What if he's a criminal, or he's done something really bad before he met me?"

"Eliza, you're seriously thinking too hard about this. You can't hold off on being with someone because you don't know their past. You find out their past and see if you can work with it."

"But it's not only that."

"What else is there? Well, despite his obvious impeccable mannerisms."

"He doesn't love himself."

"What?"

"He doesn't love himself."

"No, I heard you, but... Are you sure? Cause it kind of seems like he does to me."

"Positive. He doesn't. And it kills me but how am I supposed to love him if he doesn't even love him?"

"Easy. You teach him to love himself. He's been living on the street, people looked at him everyday like he was worth less than a crumb of their Subway cookie. Chances are he doesn't think he's worthy of being loved. So, you show him and tell him you love him every single day, so much so to the point where he will have no choice but to believe that he deserves love. Once he accepts that, then he will feel it for himself. A woman is always a strong force in making a man realise his worth."

"Why are you so smart?"

"I'm special," she laughs, and I join in. "But seriously, Eliza. I know I don't like him, but maybe it's because I don't know him. Just please don't pass up an opportunity to exert yourself into feeling the most love you possibly can with someone, when you know you don't feel that way with Cooper. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be loved, Eliza. And you deserve to love. So go and do that."

"Thanks, Liv. You're honestly the best."

"That's great, but you're so taking me out to dinner one night to pay for waking me up from my amazing sleep."

"Fine," I giggle. "I love you."

"I love you too, Lize. Goodnight."

"Night." The phone cuts off, and I stare into space taking in everything I just heard.

Theo

I splash water over my face in the bathroom, breathing heavily as I stare into the mirror and see the tired eyes looking back at me. I place my head down over the sink with my hands firmly tightened on the edge to prevent me from going to Eliza's room and telling her exactly how I feel. That bartender Carl told me to do something about it, and I did. I wanted to prove to Eliza, and to myself that I know her so well. But, I was wrong. I thought she was lying about loving Cooper, but last night I saw that spark in her eye again, but this time when she was talking about him.

I sigh an exasperated breath and get into the bed, but my dwelling thoughts keep me up for the rest of the night. My body lays still and motionless on the bed, until I hear a knock on the door, causing me to jump up slowly. I sit by the edge of the bed for a moment, before standing up and opening the door. Eliza's fresh face catches my eye and I notice red patches around her eyes. Has she been crying?

"Hi," she blandly says. "Can I come in?"

I step aside for her to enter, without saying a word. Deep down, I feel relieved she came back this morning so I can tell her what I've been yearning to since last night.

"How do you feel this morning?" She asks.

"Great," I lie.

"Really? You were pretty out of it last night."

"I wasn't drunk, Eliza."

"Well, you kind of were."

"Trust me, I wasn't."

There is a brief silence, as I ponder whether I should continue speaking. But, she gets there before me. "So... You remember everything that was said?"

"Yeah... Um, it was more of a tipsy thing. So, when I said the thing about love and all of that, it was the alcohol talking."

"Oh? 'Cause, uh, I was going to talk about the last thing, well things I said to you. It was um-"

"True."

"What?"

"You were right about everything. Cooper can give you everything I can't, and let's face it... I can't give you anything. And I should let you be happy with him. But not because I love or like you. It's because I don't."

"So everything you said was a lie?"

I steer away from making eye contact with her, because I am certain that the second I look into those eyes, everything I am about to say will become stuck in my throat. "I, uh-I didn't want to tell you this. But since we're being honest... I never liked you. Everything I've done, everything I've said that gave you the impression that I felt something for you, it was just so I could keep my position in this house. I thought that if I carried on being just a plain jerk you would kick me out. Or you would tell your mom to. So I came up with that plan. But then I realised something."

"What's that?" Her voice speaks lowly, almost as if she choking back tears.

"You wouldn't kick me out, even if you literally despise the crap out of me. Because you're just too nice of a girl. So, for that... I'm sorry that I used you." I look down at the floor, feeling guilty about the words that just came out of my mouth. I don't know how Eliza feels about me, she's been just as confusing as me. But one thing I do know is that she loves Cooper. And she should be with him. Being with me for just a day would have her hating her life, and I would never want that for her. I can't give her anything, and I know that after a while she would become incredibly tired of being in a relationship with a guy that has absolutely nothing to his name. No money, no career or education, no family. I don't want that for her either. Although this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do - even harder than struggling on the streets for months - I have to. Because I'm not good enough for her. Hurting her would make her hate me, and would make it so much easier for her to go back to Cooper.

"I don't believe you," she suddenly says.

"What?"

"I don't believe you. Last night you said all this stuff. You told me Cooper's not good enough for me; you told me you love me; you told me you can give me things that he can't. And I know that I told you that it's Cooper that I want, but I was lying, Theo. It's not him that I want, it's you.

"Eliza-"

"You kissed me, Theo. You kissed me two times, you told me that you like me the first time you kissed me. After we had that argument, and I asked what happened. You said that you like me, and then yesterday you kissed me again, and told me that you love me. I don't believe that you said all of that stuff to keep living here. Because I know that you know that I would have let you stay here regardless of how much of a jerk you are, or how much I hate you."

"Eliza-" I try again, but she voice cuts me off again.

"No," she voices, as she walks over to me. "I don't love Cooper, Theo. You were right. I don't love him. I love you. And every single feeling you mentioned yesterday, about the butterflies, and feeling like my world would be nothing without you, you're right. That is what love feels like. Because I feel that way. But not about Cooper. I feel that way about you, Theo. And I was only with him because I thought I couldn't be with you, but it's only you that I want to be with. And we can have that, all you have to do is tell me you feel the same way," she finishes, taking my hands into hers, as I notice tears form at the brink of her eyes.

I sigh internally at my well-thought out plan turning awry at her sudden revelation. A revelation that takes me by such surprise. My body becomes stiff as I contemplate how somebody as beautiful as her can find something in me to love, when all everybody else sees is a dirty, rude tramp. Our eyes lock with each other and I can see the hope in them, and that same spark that stands out so clearly to me. I want so badly to give her the hope she is wishing for, but I can't be selfish with her. I have to think about her in this, not myself. What she needs, not what she wants. I gulp heavily as I finally stomach the words in response to hers.

"I don't," I mutter, removing my hands from hers. "Like I said, it was just a game."

A silence ensues as I watch her face change from a picture of pain to anger. "You'll be lonely forever," she says bluntly, before the noise of her greasy haired boyfriend calling her name penetrates through my ear. The sound gets closer as I hear footsteps approaching the room we are in.

"Lize? What are you doing here? Hey, Theo."

She quickly but nonchalantly wipes the tears around her eyes, before turning around, as I mutter a brief 'hey' back to him.

"Hey, babe," she forcefully spits out excitedly. "I was just asking how Theo was doing cause he seemed a little drunk last night."

"Oh, before you came to see me?"

"Well, you seemed a lot more drunk so I thought you'd still be sleeping."

He nods, but I can tell there is a part of him that is suspicious. "Have you been crying?" He asks, walking closer to her.

"No, I uh, I accidentally got washing up liquid in my eyes when I was doing the dishes earlier."

He laughs. "You always were a clumsy one weren't you?" This triggers a laugh from her as well, but I can feel the fake tone of it overwhelming me. "Theo, last night was fun," he suddenly says, looking at me. "We should do it again sometime."

"Yeah, maybe." I aim to keep my replies to him as snappy as possible, but he doesn't seem to get the message that last night I was just using him for my own satisfactory gain.

"Are you gonna call that girl?"

"I can't, I don't have a phone. Um... I need to take a shower, so you guys are going to have to take this somewhere else." Eliza turns around and looks at me with pure venom in her eyes, taking me completely aback than anything I ever imagined.

"Come on Coop, let's go. You can take me to breakfast and then I'm gonna go see Olivia," she speaks, despite her evident shaky voice. They walk out of the door, with Eliza leaving last. I stare after the back of her wishing so desperately for time to be reminded, and for me to retract everything I just said to her. I thought it was the right thing to say, the second before I said it, but the second after I said it, the only feelings that ran through me were guilt, doubt and fear. Fear that I have lost her forever, which is a problematic concept to think of bearing in mind that I never had her in the first place. And now, I never will.

Eliza

"You know what I don't get?" Cooper's voice booms through my ear, inflicting deeper pain through my headache.

"What?" I respond silently.

"Why you would ask me to take you to breakfast when you haven't even touched a single piece of food on your plate."

"What?" I look down and notice that to my surprise, he is actually right. I hadn't realised that the fork I had been used to fiddle my food with hadn't actually touched my tongue. In fact, I hadn't actually realised that I'm not a single bit hungry, and I con only put the cause of that down to one thing, or person.

"What's going on, Eliza? You usually love a good slap up meal," he says, trying to imitate a British accent. It was easy for me to laugh at this in the past when I thought he was the funniest guy I know, but nothing seems funny to me at this moment.

"I guess I'm not as hungry as I thought."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Does this have something to do with Theo?"

"What?" The shock of Cooper possibly discovering my secret causes me to drop the fork on the plate, which I can see raises his suspicions.

"When I saw you guys earlier, it seemed like you were both angry," he pauses. "And you were crying."

"No, I told you that I got washing up liquid in my eyes."

"Yeah, and the Queen of England is my mother. I saw the dishes in the sink, Eliza. You didn't wash anything."

His words render me speechless, and I hope for time to think of something to say, but he continues speaking instantly.

"So I'm going to ask you again. Why were you and Theo talking? And why were you crying? Was he rude to you?"

"Why would you assume that?"

"Your mom told me he's a jerk, and-"

"Wait, my mom? Why were you talking to my mom about him?"

"No, it was just the other day, when you went to the bathroom. Olivia told me he's a jerk as well."

"He's just... He's not exactly a happy guy."

"And..." He looks at me expectantly, and I feel compelled to deliver an answer, but I am definitely not ready to tell him the truth. Because if he knows the truth, it won't be long before my mom does, thus causing Theo to go back to square one. And despite the way he hurt me earlier on, I can't allow him to be back on the streets again. But, I have to think of something to stop Cooper's eyes stabbing into mine the way they are now.

"He was just... He was kind of drunk last night and just said some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"I-Can we go home and talk about this, Coop?"

"No, let's talk about it now. What kind of stuff was he saying?"

"He was just saying that..." My brain becomes increasingly active by the second, as I try to think of something that won't get Theo into too much trouble. "That I'm a spoilt brat, and I always get everything I want, and I like to show off about all the money I have," I finally gulp out.

"And you're still letting him sleep in the house he's not grateful for?"

"He didn't say he's not grateful Cooper, he just said-"

"Something that made you cry, so your mom and Liv were right."

"Well, it doesn't really matter anymore-"

"Of course it matters, Lize. I'm not going to let some ass make you cry and let him get away with it. Come on," he suddenly says, pushing his plate away from him and standing up.

"To... Get some coffee?" I ask, hinting at him that that's what I would prefer us to do at this point.

"No, we're going back to your house so I can kick that jerk out."

"What? No, Coop you're not going to do that. You can't do that."

"Why not? He doesn't appreciate anything you've done for him, which is literally everything. And then he has the nerve to make you feel as bad as he looks, and I'm not going to take that. Come on, Eliza." He stares straight into my eyes; this is the most convincing I've ever seen him in my life, and I soon realise that there is no talking him out of this. But I can't let him go home and confront Theo, knowing that there's a major chance that he might reveal what cannot be revealed, out of pure spite. Though I don't see what he has to be spiteful of, I was just a game to him and I'm the one that ended up feeling jilted and embarrassed.