Theo

My mind stops spinning just for a moment as I anxiously peer at the coffee coloured table my hands are resting on. But, as I am placed back onto planet Earth, I feel all my consistent heavy thoughts come rushing back, and they all lead to one conclusion.

"Am I that obvious?" I finally ask, but I already know the answer.

"Obviously not to your sidekick, or else he wouldn't be hounding you the way he is."

"He doesn't know."

"So why don't you just tell him?"

The drink is placed in front of me, and I pick it up and stare into it.

"Oh, I see. It's either his girl, his sister or his mom."

"You're good at this, aren't you?" I wonder sarcastically.

"You pick up on a lot of character traits when you work in a bar," he says. "So which one is it?"

I begin to shake the drink from side to side rhythmically, simultaneously savouring the craved taste that has been so wrongfully parted from my tongue all this time.

My mind fixates on the one thing it hasn't been able to escape from for far too long now. It's like a punishment that cannot be rectified, despite the rehabilitative mindset the criminal now has.

"I wish she loved me back. She loves him. Not me," I finally moan.

"His girl it is then. Ooh, that's gnarly bro. Wait... This isn't Eliza, is it?"

My eyes immediately switch up to meet his at the mention of her. "How do you know her?" I ask a little too quickly.

"Well, they have been going out for years. They used to come to this bar together."

"They broke up. But then they got back together."

"How do you know her?" He asks.

"She helped me, when I really needed help."

"With your... Situation?"

I look up at him, and suddenly his face becomes very familiar to me.

"I've seen you around, bro," he continues. "I give you money."

"Thanks," I say, spinning the vodka around in the cup.

"This is on the house, by the way," he points at the drink. Normally, I would refuse to be looked at and treated like a charity case, but seeing as I'm in a mood of feeling sorry for myself, I can't argue.

"See she didn't just give me money. She gave me a house. She gave me love. And I pushed her away." I gulp down the drink, and place the cup in front of him again. He hesitates again, but still takes the cup regardless.

"Why did you push her away?"

"Because it's scary. I've never felt like this before. I don't understand how I feel. I feel like my chest is closing whenever I see her. I feel like I can't breathe, and then I get this-this thing in my belly. This feeling-"

"Butterflies?"

"Maybe. And when I look at her, when I'm near her, I hate myself for pushing her away, because her beauty is what makes life this beautiful thing that people call it. And, I just can't ever work out why someone so-so like her would ever look at me, and think I'm worthy of any of her time. And then, we kissed-and I felt like I was walking on heaven. Every negative thing I have ever thought, every negative feeling I have ever had, it all evaporated when I tasted her amazing lips. And now she hates me," I finish suddenly, realising that I am only making myself more miserable talking about how I feel about her.

"So if she kissed you, doesn't that mean there's a chance she likes you too?"

"She doesn't. Because Prince Cooper came with his perfect hair, and perfect clothes, and she just went straight back to him."

"Do you know why they broke up?"

"Long distance," I growl, placing the yet again empty bottle in front of him. He seems to be in deep thought, before he takes the bottle again.

"I wouldn't usually say this," he begins. "But I think you should do something about it. I don't know what that means to you, it could mean anything. Tell her how you feel, tell him how you feel, distance yourself from her, move out. But I am going to say one thing for sure-you've shown a lot more love to her in five minutes than he has in two years."

"How is that even possible?"

"You'd be surprised. He's not the perfect guy you think he is."

The bitter taste of his words compete heavily with every drop I have had tonight.

"What does that mean?" I probe, my ears becoming completely loyal to their functioning by focusing their attention on him.

He doesn't reply, but instead puts the new cup in front of me. "That's your last one."

"I thought he was your friend?" I question, feeling as alert as ever despite my intoxicated state.

"He's not my friend. We know each other, we're friendly, but he's not my friend."

"And you're encouraging me to move in on his girl?"

"I'm not encouraging you to do anything. I'm telling you that you love her. He doesn't."

"Who doesn't what?" Cooper suddenly slurs from behind me, as he reaches for his seat.

"We were just saying how you don't know how to handle your drink. You've had two glasses and you're already slurring your words," Carl notes, before turning his back to us and playing around with some of the machines.

"Yeah, maybe we should go," I subliminally plead to him. Once I utter the last word, I hear a "hi" uttered in a girly voice. I turn my head to see a girl standing next to Cooper, and internally smash the glass that I am holding. This could have all been avoided if we had just left, or if I didn't sit here talking about my feelings, I think to myself.

"Now's your chance bro," Cooper nods at me. "Don't let me down this time."

I gulp forcefully, as I highlight in my mind the silent dilemma I am facing. If I reject this girl, Cooper will know something is up, and it might not be long before I get to confessing that I am in love with his girl. But on the other hand, he doesn't scare me. So what if he knows? I would rather he knows. But what would Eliza say?

I look up at Carl who raises an eyebrow at me, I look at Cooper who is eyeing me impatiently. And finally, I look at the curly haired mixed girl beside him, and then look down at my drink. I take one last guzzle, which spurs my impromptu decision. I smile to myself.

Eliza

The sound of creaking outside of my room forces my eyes open, which is eventually followed by an apparent conversation. I press the home button of my phone which reads 2:13am - I must have fallen asleep when I intentionally planned to have a nap at ten last night, I think to myself. Just as I stand up to locate the source of the noise - no doubt, Theo - my door bursts open and Cooper runs in and almost bumps into me.

"Careful!" I moan. "Are you drunk?"

"Not really. I guess I just don't know how to handle my drink."

"I can see that. Why are you here anyway, I thought you were coming to see me tomorrow?"

"Oh, don't worry babe, I am. But I forgot my keys in Theo's room so I had to come collect them. And obviously I had to come see you."

"That's great," I say flinching at the smell of the alcohol on his breath. "How was it anyway?"

"A success," he laughs, but there is no smile on my face. The word success implies that the mission, which was to find Theo a girl, was completed. But that can't be possible because... It just can't.

"A success?" I mimic him, trying to laugh as well, but it comes out more as a stifled cough.

"Yeah, he got a girl's number." He sits down on my bed, leaving me standing in front of him with my back to him. I feel a lump in my throat, and get the sudden urge to smash something, anything, in sight. I feel my breathing become heavy, and almost miss a breath as I try to speak again.

"He got a girl's number?" I imitate him again.

"Yeah. It was about time. At first he was being a little picky, but then he finally came round. She was cute and everything. But obviously not cuter than you," he says as he kisses me, but his compliment does absolutely nothing for me, and I end up pulling away from his kiss.

"Well, you're obviously not sober," I begin. "So I'm going to get you some water and something to eat, and then you're going to sleep in the guest room tonight, okay?"

"Yes, boss." shouts. "I love it when you're bossy, you know. I love a woman in charge."

"Save it for the morning, Coop. Come on." I pull him up and out of the room, and leave him to walk down the stairs on his own.

Half an hour later, I get Cooper all suited up in the covers in the guest room near the kitchen. "Love you, Li-Eli-Li-" he stutters, as he attempts to say my name.

"It's Eliza," I retort. "Go to sleep." I close the door behind me, and take a deep breath before walking up the stairs and planning to do what I've been battling with deciding to do for the last twenty-seven minutes.

I reach the top of the stairs and pause for a few seconds before dragging my feet to the right. I stop outside the closed door and contemplate for a moment on knocking, but finally decide to just barge through, like I seem to have a habit of doing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shout as I burst through the door, repeating the same opening line of my argument from last time. He is laying with his back on the bed, his hand caressing his forehead.

"What have I done now?" He groans.

"Getting my boyfriend drunk and then coming home at two in the morning, waking me up... You know you're lucky my mom isn't here, because she wouldn't even give you the time of day."

"Sorry, I didn't realise your boyfriend was incapable of picking up a cup of alcohol himself and asking for more... Himself."

"And did you let him drive whilst in that state? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Well, I don't have a license... So it's not like I could drive. There's your key by the way," he says at the same moment he throws it to me, and I catch it in my hands.

"And he wouldn't be able to drive if he got caught by the police for driving whilst under the influence of something he is not even of the legal age to have."

"Well then you should have come and picked us up. What were we supposed to do? Fly back here?"

"Maybe you shouldn't have gone at all. Or maybe you should have just gone alone. Don't drag my boyfriend into your quest for somebody to make you feel something."

"What the hell is your problem?" His voice gets to a higher level, as he stands from the bed. "Seriously, what is your problem, Eliza? Because you can't seriously be mad at your college student boyfriend doing what most college students do by going to a bar with me and having a few drinks. So what the hell are you actually angry about, Eliza?"

"You. I'm angry at you!" I shout back.

"And why are you angry at me, Eliza? I didn't force him to come out with me. He's the one who offered."

"He was just being nice! Because he could see that you were bored, and not doing anything with your life!"

"Not doing anything with my life?"

"Yes, not doing anything with your life! He felt sorry for you but he didn't expect you to say yes, and ruin the night we had planned for us."

"So that's why you're mad? That I ruined your night?"

"No, I'm mad that you don't have any respect."

"Respect for what?"

"For anything! You don't have any respect for anything, Theo. You don't have respect for my mother, you don't have respect for my boyfriend, you don't have respect for me."

"What the hell does this have to do with respect? I'm sorry that you feel I ruined your perfect little night together. But he obviously didn't care very much about the special night you had planned if he decided to spend it in a bar filled with girls instead. They were all over him by the way," he whispers, as he leans in closer to me.

"You are a pathetic excuse of a male."

"That's not something I haven't been told before."

"Yes, and with good reason! You are the biggest asshole I have ever come across in my entire lifetime, and I will make sure Cooper never hangs out with you again."

"Oh, I'm so scared. I really want to spend my days hanging out with a guy who uses more hair gel than even exists in America."

"It's not like he wants to hang out with you either. Least of all not to play wingman whilst you go out to a bar to get drunk and get random girls' numbers!"

"Does that bother you?"

"No, it doesn't bother me. I just thought you would have a little more class than that. It kind of screams a bit... Desperate, you know? Going to a bar for the sole purpose of finding a girlfriend."

He has stopped replying at this point, and instead begins searching into my eyes as if he is trying to find something in particular.

"Why does that bother you, Eliza?"

"I just told you, it doesn't bother me."

"So why did you mention it?"

"Because it's pathetic and... Desperate."

"So why can't you just let me be pathetic and desperate?" It's my turn to stop replying, as his question renders me speechless.

"Because-" I begin, but stop as I know I have no words to complete the sentence. "Because-"

"Because what?" He lowers his gaze from me to his pocket, and takes out a piece of paper that looks to contain scribbles on it. He brings it up in between our faces and rips it, letting the remains scatter on the floor.

"Why would you do that?" I ask, my breathing becoming heavier.

A smile suddenly forms on his face, and he leans closer to me yet again. "In case you didn't realise... I don't have a phone," he speaks quietly, before walking to the bed and taking a seat on it.

I stand motionless, my brain trying to work out what exactly just happened, but I am too baffled. "So why did you get her number?" I wonder out loud. "I mean, that was the number right?"

"Yeah, it was the number."

"So..."

"Have you even been in love, Eliza?" He asks randomly, and I notice myself blinking repeatedly in one go at the sudden change of topic.

"What?"

"Have you ever been in love? I mean, you must have right? With Cooper. Going out with him for two years and all." He takes his shoes off and then looks at me.

"Yeah, right of course," I say quickly, despite being completely aware that I recently realised it was not the type of love shared between soulmates. More like... Old friends.

"Describe that to me." He stands up again, and walks back over to me and looks directly into my eye.

"What?"

"Describe it to me. What's it like?

"Love?"

"The feeling of love? What happens?"

"I-"

"Do you get butterflies whenever you see him?"

I pause, but then remember to keep on pretences. "Yeah."

"Do you ever forget to breathe when you're around him?" With each question he moves closer to me.

"Of course."

"Do you ever feel like... Every problem you have in your life at that moment is so insignificant to the beautiful feeling you get in your heart when you're around him?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you feel like... Without him, your life, your world would go back to the nothingness, meaningless existence it once was?" He is now staring deeply into my eyes, and I begin to feel like this isn't about Cooper and I at all.

"Theo-"

"You're lying."

"What?"

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. How could you possibly tell that as if you even know how to tell when I'm lying?" My voice gets higher again, whilst simultaneously resembling the squeak of a mouse.

"Two reasons," he says, as he takes my hand into his and brings it upwards. "You've scratched yourself from being put on the spot to tell a lie," he states, opening my clenched fist with my thumb inserted inside.

"Are you kidding me? That's not from lying. It's from hating you so much that I have to physically stop myself from scratching you!"

"You wanna know the second reason?"

"No, I don't. I don't want to hear anything else you've got to say because all that comes out of your mouth is-"

He leans closer to me again. "Your eyes." He murmurs.

"What about them?"

"They've lost their spark."

"What spark? What the hell are you talking about?"

"The spark that you get in your eyes whenever you're fiery and passionate. It's so strong and so powerful and that's how anyone can tell when you feel the topic you're talking about in your eyes. But just a heads up, and I've been monitoring... It always mysteriously vanishes whenever you're talking about Cooper."

"You're talking absolute rubbish. There is no spark in my eye. Nobody's ever told me there's a spark in my eye."

"That's probably because they don't see it."

"And what makes you any different from them? Have you got powers that enable you to see through people's eyes?"

"No. I just pay attention."

"To my eyes?"

"To everything about you."

"Theo, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You want to know the final reason I know you're lying?"

"Let me guess. Does my nose suddenly rise whenever Cooper's name is brought up?"

"No, but that would be funny," he lets out a small chuckle. "This is why-" he cuts his sentence off as he leans the closest to me he could possibly get, and interlocks his lips with mine. I get lost into the feeling of his lips pressured against mine, and lose all sense of anything throughout my body as the kiss continues. He suddenly removes his mouth from mine, and begins smiling.

"What the hell is your problem? Why did you just do that?" I yell.

"Why didn't you stop me?"

"Because you caught me by surprise-"

"Right there!" He shouts, whilst pointing.

"What?"

"It's back."

"What is?"

"The spark."

"You tricked me into kissing you to determine whether I have a spark in my eye or not?"

"No, I tricked you into kissing me to determine whether you would be more angry about the fact that I kissed you whilst you have a boyfriend you're so deeply in love with, or about the fact that it determines you have a spark in your eye."

"I-"

"And you just gave me my answer. It was fun messing with you."

"You are seriously a pathetic jerk of life, and I don't know what the hell your problem is but you need to-" I am shouting again, but he cuts me off.

"You want to know what my problem is? You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Because you don't realise your worth."

"What are you talking about, Theo? You know what, you're drunk, so you shouldn't even be talking right now."

"You don't realise your worth because you're willing to stick with a guy that doesn't love you when you can get so much better than that."

"Don't you dare tell me about my relationship. Cooper loves me, alright? He's loved me since before we even got together, and he's always telling me how beautiful I am, how lucky he is to have me, how good he can't believe his life has gotten since he's been with me."

"He's lying to you."

"Who are you to tell me that?"

"Somebody that can give you so much more than he can."

"What are you-wait," my voice begins to crack up as I try my hardest to stifle a surprised laugh, but it still manages to creep out. "Are you saying that you love me?" I continue laughing.

"I can give you more love than he can, Eliza, more comfort, more happiness."

"You can't even give me a dollar, Theo." I burst out in response to my shock of this whole conversation, but immediately regret it, especially once I register hurt and embarrassment on his face. "I didn't-"

"Yeah, you did," he says, as he turns to walk away from me.

"No, I didn't."

"This was a mistake."

"What was?"

"Coming to live here, meeting you."

"No, it wasn't a mistake, Theo. It happened for a reason."

"Yeah, for me to realise that I will always be the guy that lives on the street, with the scars on his face that can't afford anything. He stinks, he shouts, he has the same piece of dirty clothing he's been wearing for months. No matter what I'm about, no matter what I am in life, what I want, what I do, people will always look at me and say 'I know you.'"

"That's not true. You're so much more than just the guy that lives on the street. You don't even live there anymore."

"Yes, I do. I might be living here but everything still leads to me being on the street. I have nothing, nothing at all."

"You have me."

"No, because you have Cooper."

I think of a response to make him feel better, but change my mind as I realise that the feeling sorry for oneself approach never works.

"You know what? Screw you and screw your pathetic 'I have nothing ass.' You're living in a home right now, you're being cooked food, I can imagine that you got free drinks at a bar tonight, you're wearing clothes on your body. You don't have nothing, Theo. You just like to think that you do, so you can walk around feeling sorry for yourself and you can get me to feel sorry too. But what's there to be sorry for? You're a pathetic jerk. Your manners and attitude are absolutely appalling; you try to undermine everything I do and say; you just kissed me to prove a point, and you want me to take you seriously when you say crap like you can give me stuff that Cooper can't. Well, you're wrong. He can give me everything you can't, and more. You told me you don't want me, Theo. And your drunk ass is going to wake up tomorrow regretting every single part of this conversation, especially the part where you told me you love me," I laugh. "Because you don't. And you know how I know you don't? Because if you did, you would let me be happy with Cooper. You wouldn't try to tell me that he doesn't deserve me, or that he doesn't love me. You would let me be with him. So let me be with him, Theo. Because he's the one I want, not you. And I don't have to prove that to you by telling you a bunch of emotions I feel towards him. All that matters is that I love him. And he loves me. So stay out of it," I shout, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind me. I run into my room and suddenly burst into the flood of tears I've been holding in for the past 20 minutes.

I grab my phone from the bedside table with my shaky fingers and dial a few numbers, before putting the phone to my ears.

"Are you confused about the time, Eliza?" A croaky voice speaks through the phone.

"Liv, I don't know what to do," I cry, as I kneel to the ground.

"Oh gosh, what's wrong? Did you and Cooper break up?"

"No. But I love him."

"Cooper?"

"No... Theo."