Chapter 66 (Epilogue)

I held the locket in my hands, rubbing it slowly as waves crashed in front of me. I stood on the beach property of Henrik's as I felt the wind blow against my neck. After Anthony's betrayal, I ordered Mello to kill all the guards that were waiting in front of the gate.

Henrik was shocked by the Red Dragon's betrayal, whisking Mello away as they pinpointed Anthony's bases, destroying them all by the name of Kira. Afterwards, I released Mello from the Death Note, ordering him to never remember anything from his past life as I left him in a hotel, fabricating an ID and a basic rundown of his fabled history.

I returned the Death Note to Sidoh as he flapped away after giving a pitiful look, telling me that humans were creatures that were able to move on. I nodded mutely, watching him lift up into the sky and disappear into the clouds.

Light...was dead.

Everything else was fine though.

Both Henrik and Felix were overjoyed of our victory, although giving me time to rest and heal up from the shock of Anthony's betrayal, I continued burying myself in missions and work, successfully creating 2 companies within my grasp. Henrik became the owner of the book that was attached with Ryuk while I held the other one, using it to my advantage.

Felix thought that I was moping over Anthony, but in fact, I was still in the process of getting over Light. No one was able to understand me as Light did. Although Anthony did leave an impression, his betray scarred me. Love was something that I could not experience again because of him and from my own actions. I loved Light, but I had betrayed him despite knowing that I could kill him. I led him to his demise even though he trusted me to the point where nothing but acceptance rang through his eyes when I revealed my betrayal.

I regretted it so much. I shouldn't have done it. I should have stayed with Light. I should have ruled the world by his side, but I did. If I could turn back time-If I could make a deal with the Death God to turn back time-

Even if I had to sell my soul-

So many times, I wanted to kill myself.

I could never forgive myself for doing what I did to Light.

He had trusted me and protected me.

Yet without even telling him that I truly loved him...he left.

I betrayed him.

I betrayed the only one who could stop me, who could hold me back, who would love me the way I was.

I had thought Anthony was another person who understood me, knowing that I had killed before yet still accepted me. But in the end, he betrayed me.

My hand gripped the locket tightly before I closed my eyes, breathing in the smell of the sea.

It had been 3 years since his death.

July 13th, 2011.

I was 22 years old.

The age that Light died.

Tsubame had happily graduated from Harvard during that time, being the owner of her dad's thrift shop while also becoming my business partner in the long run. She was filthy rich, owning a total of 2 apartments and a whole house in America. She somehow understood my breakdown after Light's death when I fell limply into her arms, crying silently as she patted me on the back.

Not only that, Aoiko and I became closer during the last two years. She became a known designer as her first line burst with flavour and positive comments. She was living the life that she wanted, penthouses upon penthouses along with her celebrity friends. Even though she had made many more friends, she still came to visit me every week.

Said her friends were a bit too 'much' for her and that she needed breaks from time to time. As expected, Miyara never contacted me again after her graduation ceremony. Just like how some people only passed by briefly in your life, not staying for a long time.

Just like Light.

It had been 3 years.

3 fucking years since he left.

But I couldn't forget about him no matter how many times I tried.

I tried throwing away the locket, but in the end, I couldn't.

I couldn't.

His last words echoed into my mind like a curse. I was never able to escape him, not until I died.

I was so tired.

I was so tired of waking in the middle of the night, screaming his name.

I was so tired of regretting so much that even if both my lives were combined, it was not enough to repent for what I did. I never regretted it so much.

It felt useless to live anymore.

But to you who is reading this, you might think that my thoughts are useless. I had everything, didn't I? Friends, career, beauty, money. I probably could get any hunk with the status I had right now. I could hold company meetings as a CEO, I could buy houses without batting an eyelash, I could experience everything and anything that I wanted.

But it felt like I was missing something.

To you out there, reading this, I may just be a fiction of some sort. But who knows, maybe you'll transmigrate into an anime world after you die or something.

I've killed, I've slaughtered.

I'm no Saint Marie.

I'm pitch black on a white sheet and broken like pieces of glass.

I'm deadly like the colour of blood yet passion stemmed from my insides no matter how much I wanted to get rid of emotions. I wanted to be a hollow doll with nothing but ambition.

And now I was.

But I was not happy.

"I'm insane," I said numbly, the wind blowing in front of my face as I took a step closer to the water. I drew a deep sigh before splattering into the sea. It was cold, yet nothing moved inside of me anymore.

"I'm completely and utterly insane."

I wanted Light.

He was there.

He was not in my world anymore.

I was so tired.

Tired of remembering him.

"Light," I murmured before closing my eyes and feeling my heartbeat reminds me of my life.

I wouldn't kill myself for the sake of living and retaining my goals, but everything felt so empty. So cold.

I just wanted to try to feel Light... to reach him that was not in this world. A bit, just a bit.

It was just before I could dive into the water when something smacked me on the back of the head. I turned around groggily, feeling lightheaded before blinking slowly at the item that was now floating in the water. It seemed like a book.

A black book.

"It's strange."

I froze as a familiar voice entered my ears despite the roaring wind. Something inside of me thumped, recognizing the voice with boulders slipping off my shoulders.

"Even though my memories are foggy, everything relating to you is so clear to me like I was never killed in the first place."

Slowly, I turned around with wide eyes.

"Sayu," he greeted me like always.

"I told you that you'll never escape me."