Chapter 38

It had occurred to me that I messed up big time after I calmed down.

L was still attached to Light 24/7, which meant that L had seen every single move from me in that room. There were also security cameras inside of the elevator, which I literally had to slap myself four times in the face after realizing the fact.

Misa was probably acting like a whiny bitch and forced Light to kiss her so that she would stop. I, on the other hand, just came back in a bad mood, totally did not see L who was probably standing there and staring creepily at the two kiss.

"I want to die," my face flushed at my pathetic actions just hours ago, and threw myself deep into the covers as my brain racked every possible excuse I could play it off as.

From the moment that I flinched from Light's touch, L would have already suspected that I did not see him as a normal brother. Then with my outburst back there...

I shoved my head into the pillows.

He would have undeniably come up with the correct conclusion. That I, Sayu Yagami was in love with her brother.

I grimaced and cringed at the thought.

Ok, even if I didn't mind and Light didn't care about the blood running through our veins, it was a completely different situation if a third person found out about it. Not to mention one of the greatest detectives in the world.

I felt my face pale.

It wasn't even a joke anymore.

But I had to correct the fact that although I have to admit my attraction towards Light, it was still not enough for me to spare his life if his ending came. I would still murder him no matter what I felt because power was more important to me than anything.

I messed up.

And big time.

The only excuse that I had for my newbie hiding skills was that it was the first time I had gotten jealous of anything. I had no idea how I was supposed to deal with things such as jealousy. Sure, in the past I was jealous of other children laughing with their perfect families, but not to the point of wanting to murder them.

I inhaled deeply, thinking about the consequences that my actions would bring towards the big picture.

I had, if not, destroyed Light's image in L's eyes. Or my own to be honest. It was not a normal thing for a sibling to be crushing on the older one. L could take this information two ways.

Either one, Light had manipulated my feelings into falling in love with him.

Or two, I was not as pure and honest as L had thought.

And that could go two ways.

Either L would tell dad about my hidden crush, thus separating Light and me from each other, or, he would keep quiet and take into consideration that I might die for the sake of Light.

L was no idiot. He knew that Light was good at manipulation. He also knew that Light was using Misa to get a hold of her Kira powers if he was, undoubtedly Kira.

In the first place, L had no evidence that I was in love with Light. Sure, my outburst might have proven that I indeed harboured some feelings, but he was not sure. L was a sensitive person in the anime. Unless he had a foolproof file of evidence, he would not deem his suspicions as correct. This was why he had hesitated at the end. Because he had his pride in proving that Light was Kira.

L would definitely keep quiet. There was no doubt.

Now how was I supposed to move my chess piece to cover it up?

"-It doesn't make any sense, Kira is definitely him, but-"

"Ah, Sayu, good timing," L swished up from his chair as I passed by his office, looking at me with amused eyes as Light greeted me. I tilted my head with innocence as I followed L's hand that was beckoning me.

"What do you think about this?" L handed me a file with the name Yotsuba Kira and his picture on the front. I looked at L skeptically before speaking up.

"Ryuzaki, I ain't on your task force."

L's lips curved ever so slightly at my words before gesturing to me to try without saying anything. I felt Light cast his supportive glance towards me before curiously smiling and encouraging me to take the challenge.

I was so not used to this Light.

"You already stated that Matsuda heard his plans to kill his competitors, what else is there to prove?" I shrugged, passing the flies towards Light who gave me a quizzing smile.

"But the deaths that occurred recently were neither broadcasted nor related to Yotsuba Kira's competition," Light mused at his own words before flickering his gaze back onto me. I resisted every urge to swoon over his voice.

Crap. This whole admitting that I was attracted to him had turned me into some kind of love-sick teenage girl.

"Oh?" My lips pursed into mild confusion. "What kind of people are dying?"

"People related to the mafia," Light's eyes shined in amusement when I asked. Inside, I was barely containing my laughter. The prickly sensation queased with renewed giggles, rolling off my barely contained shoulders.

Take that L!

"Ah," I nodded with understanding before turning my gaze to L. "That's quite the special case you have here."

I squinted at L's question before raising my voice again.

"L, it may seem that you have a 4th Kira on your hands."

L's face shifted towards the front with wide eyes.

"There is only one Kira," he mumbled and started biting on his fingernails. "It's just that Kira's powers can be handed down to others."

Light's eyes narrowed at L's words, his shoulders becoming stiff as the expression on his face hardened with impatience. L was accusing that Light was still Kira and the only Kira that existed on the face of the earth.

"L, no matter what you say, I am not Kira." Light's tone came out much more rigid than I thought. For a moment I felt remorseful for him, knowing that the Light before getting the note was wrongfully accused. Well, the feeling instantly disappeared when I thought of Light actually being Kira.

L waved dismissively, although not taking his words back and faced the screen.

"Okay, Ryuzaki," I called out before stepping closer to him and staring at the information related to the recent deaths. L didn't look over but I knew he was listening. "In my view, I think that Kira's powers stemmed from two people."

This time, Light's restless body shifted closer to me.

"The first Kira was undoubtedly the one to kill your body double on screen. The second Kira tried to reach out to the first Kira by tapes," I stated all the facts.

"I think you might want to reconsider the possibility of one Kira being able to hand over his powers," I cleared my throat and grabbed the files from Light's hands.

"If Misa and Light were actually Kira, and their powers had disappeared, then two more Kiras would definitely appear. It makes sense." I gestured to both the picture of Yotsuba Kira and the number of mafia deaths.

"Or," L spoke out. "The powers were handed to all of them by one thing."

Light's eyes widened at the fact before peering down at the information in my hands. His brown hair shifted out of his eyes before turning around to shuffle the information on another desk that L was not sitting in front of.

"The shinigami..." Light whispered.

"Yes, Misa Amane is the second Kira without a doubt from her traces left on the Kira tapes. The power that the Kiras are using should be the shinigami, or what they would call it." L's eyes squinted even harder at the screen.

"To be precise, the powers they have are attained from a shinigami."

I held back my surprised wheeze.

"Ryuzaki, you can't be saying that those supernatural creatures exist, are you?" Light shook his head at L's deduction. L turned his wide eyes towards us, the circles under his bags highlighted the frown that he had carved onto his face.

"Sayu had mentioned possession before," L said as Light's eyes shifted towards me. "And since we are dealing with powers that can kill people without directly touching them, it isn't wrong to start considering the possibilities that the powers are more than just heart attacks."

L ripped his finger away from his mouth, placing them neatly onto his knees.

Fuck! Don't push the blame onto me! What the hell will Light do if he regains his memories back?!

"We should start considering that the power was given," L murmured. "The shinigami can only pass on his powers to two people at a time. He may choose anyone, and when he takes the power away from the chosen individuals, they will lose all memories of possessing it."

I held my inner shriek.

Holy cows, how the hack did he figure that out just from my suggestion of possession?!

"That would explain Amane Misa's confusion when I was asking her about Kira, but suddenly started treating me as a stalker that kidnapped her," L said without changing his face. Light was silent the whole time.

"The tapes that she sent were the Kira tapes," L continued. "But she somehow remembered them as occult tapes."

"Memory alteration," Light concluded quietly as L nodded. Light's eyebrows furrowed up in confusion.

"But that's impossible," he said.

"If, we take away the fact that the shinigami's powers are only limited to heart attacks." L corrected.

Damn, I fought the urge to shake my head and run away from the room in a panic.

L was a monster.

"But even so, we are searching for the true Kira." L started to pick up his spoon that was laid beside the pudding that Watari prepared. "Even if the Shinigami gave Kira his powers, it was Kira who used them."

L concluded as he shoved the spoon delicately into his mouth.

"I find that hard to believe, Ryuzaki. Heart attacks are one thing, but memory alteration?" Light rubbed the bridge of his nose as his expression dulled.

"It's definitely interesting, no?" L mused despite the rest of his face still remaining blank. "And I find your words to be in direct denial that you might be Kira."

Light pulled back from his relaxed state and scrunched up his face.

"You see, the possibility of memory alteration only sounds hard to believe because that increases your chances of being Kira," L clinked his spoon into the cup of the pudding, turning to see Light's expression, in which Light frowned even harder.

L smiled slightly when there was no response from Light, him feeling a bit childish and wanted to place the last word into the sentence. Light, on the other hand, already knew that it was impossible to convince L otherwise. My hands snaked its way through Light's fingers, squeezing him and giving him a small, reassuring smile to encourage him that his way was correct.

"By the way, Sayu, do you have a boyfriend?" L asked without turning around.

I froze in place as Light's expression suddenly blazed into upturned irritation, squeezing my fingers without even meaning to.

"Ryuzaki, don't tell me you're interested in my sister-that will not sit well with me," ever so pleasantly, Light gave L a wide good-willed smile. My shoulders shook with amusement at L's slightly widened eyes. Never in his life, L would've guessed that he was accused of trying to get with somebody's sister, probably.

"Not really, but now that you mention it, Sayu is quite the thinker," instead of placing his hands above his head like any other good friend would do, L only curtly curved his lips upwards, obviously trying to tip Light off.

Thank you for not mentioning my average beauty.

I tried my best not to roll my eyes.

The best defence is the best offence.

"Ryuzaki, if you're talking about what happened a few days ago, whatever you're thinking, you've misunderstood my intentions," I laughed, releasing my hand from Light's grasp.

"Have I?" L's smile deepened, pressing his thumb against his moist lips and rubbing them. "I beg to understand what your true intentions were."

"A few days ago?" Light turned his gaze towards mine now, this time knitting his eyebrows together in humble confusion. I was actually surprised that Light did not take notice of my presence there in the corner as he was kissing Misa. Though the dark thought of him actually being too taken with Misa to forget his surroundings flashed through my mind, I scowled at the picture and deleted it from my mind.

"You see, on that day I had met with my high school friend, and she was blabbering about how nice her boyfriend was." The excuse that I had thought of just a couple of nights ago came tumbling out of my mouth as rehearsed.

"I, being single for 15 years of my life, was honestly flabbergasted and got a bit jealous," fluttering my eyelashes, I gave the biggest fake grin I could muster when the word 'single' came out of my mouth.

I didn't care for boyfriends, but now that I have counted, adding onto Sayu's 2 years that I've been living as her to what I have lived in my past life, that would make it at least 22 years of being single. In 2021, I was almost considered a national treasure.

"And just when I was moping about being single, I saw my brother," I gave Light a glare and nudged him in the hip. "Kissing my sister-in-law."

L's eyes twinkled in interest at my words.

"You saw me kiss her?" Light's mouth twitched upwards a bit too dramatically as I rolled my eyes, kicking him in the shin. Apparently I did no damage because he didn't even flinch from the impact. Instead, he snickered at my expression.

"Crystal clear," I scowled before crossing my arms and pouting like a normal 15-year-old girl. It was amusing because while 15 was way too young in my definition of being able to date, in Japan, girls were already promising their love and hand in marriage to guys at a whopping age of 13!

Like, do you people not focus on your studies? How the hell do you have so much time to date when literally you had to find your major, get a job, get paid, clean up your wardrobe, get your life together, and then even consider the possibilities of dating something?

"Don't worry about it too much," L waved with amusement. "I've been single for 24 years of my whole life."

What?! He's 24?!

"L!" I grabbed his hands with tears in my frames as his eyes widened momentarily. "Let's become national treasures and never date until death!"

That day, L and I made a silent vow to stay single as a pringle.

Well, I coerced him into it.