Quick Author's note:

I have come to inform you...that I have finished this fanfic. Be prepared for the mass spam of chapters.

Chapter 37

The strangest thing was about the locket that Light had given me to revive part of Misa's memories. I fiddled with the golden chain, tracing the elaborate design of an apple on the front of the pendant.

Like, alright, I know that I have to unlock Misa's memories, but...when?

Light never gave me a date or time I should use it.

Was there a set date that I had to release this?

I knew that the longer I dragged this on, the more likely that I was going to miss the chance of actually giving the note to her. But Misa's acting was so...

I made a face.

I was bored and I was confused.

I yawned for the fifth time this evening, scrunching up my face as I sat up and headed to the fridge. Passing the workstation of L, I heard some quiet murmurings of the third Kira being some kind of corporate CEO.

Oh ho?

So sure, aren't you, L?

A sly smile made its way onto my face as I knocked on the frame of the door, acting as Watari's immediate summon who dashed in front of me.

"What is it, Miss Sayu?" he said with kind crinkles around the rim of his eyes. I beckon him to come out of the room so that I wouldn't bother with L's work. Watari was really like a grandfather figure. He was wise and kind, quietly supporting L from behind and providing all my daily needs without any complaint.

Truly, an SSS butler in the modern-day world.

"Thank you for taking account of L's job, Miss Sayu," he smiled kindly before leading me to the kitchen when he heard my embarrassing growl from my stomach.

"No, I really have to thank you for taking care of me so much, Watari." I hummed before jumping onto the round stool and placing both of my elbows on the marble table, resting my chin on it.

"It is my pleasure to serve someone who is so polite," Watari bowed dramatically at my compliment, making me giggle a bit.

"I really wish I had you as my grandfather," I sighed before cupping both of my cheeks in my hands. "I...I didn't really have-"

I paused and lowered my gaze to the floor and bit my lip, forcing a bit of sniffle before raising my face to reveal moist eyes.

"I'm sorry- I-"

I purposefully used my voice break before raising my hands to cover my eyes that were obviously not producing any tears. I saw Watari's expression soften with a slight frown before he stepped closer to me, patting gently on my right shoulder. I sniffled, pressing the heels of my palms into my sockets before tearing them away, giving him a wry smile with my red eyes.

"I must come off as a whiny and bratty kid, huh? I'm sure many have experienced much more than me." Tears started to drop from my eyes as I gasped in surprise. "Oh, why am I-"

"I'm sorry, I'm so ashamed-"

I buried my face in my hands again, hiccuping.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, Miss Sayu." Watari gently coaxed me, rubbing softly on my back and trying to sooth me. "It is true that I have seen worse, but it is different for everyone."

"How is it different?" I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. "The truth should be that I am weak. I am a coward who blames everything on dad."

Watari shook his head.

"It is one thing to lose people that you hold dear, but it is completely different when the people you have grown attached to, hurt you." Watari said. "The stronger you love, the stronger you hate."

I grew silent at his words, trying to seem like I was thinking over the phrase. But in reality, I was just stalling for time so that I could hit him with the bomb.

"Was...L one of those children who lost them?" I uttered quietly as Watari winced at my deduction.

"I am not supposed to reveal anything that can endanger Ryuzaki, Miss Sayu, please understand." Watari sighed, completely shutting down my entrance to ask more about him. Well, to be honest that was not my main purpose to begin with.

"Oh, I see," I frowned deliberately before shaking my head. "Don't worry, Watari. I understand. To you, L must be very important."

Watari sighed with a small smile, nodding to me.

"L is a very important child. I've seen him grow up as a child."

"I envy L," I laughed lightly before tearing up again. "If I had someone to rely on..."

"I'm sure you will be able to in the future," Watari opened the fridge and took out a few ingredients, asking me if I would like an omelette.

"I really miss my friends," I sighed and eyed the sizzling pan with the eggs. "Watari, is it possible that I can meet my friends by myself tomorrow?"

He sighed a little.

"I'm sorry, it seems like today I have been refusing all your requests."

"But, L has said that he only suspects me for being Kira's accomplice if Light is Kira!" I protested, careful not to raise my voice and have L overhear.

"I am definitely not Kira, so I really don't understand why there is such strict surveillance on me." I twiddled my fingers together.

"Please Watari, you said that I would find someone in the future to rely on- but how would I, if all my friends are under pressure of being watched?" I pleaded, using his own words against him. I had looped him to say the words he did, making him fall into my trap step by step.

If he were to deny my request, it would be a slap on his face and deeming that his own words were nothing but false lies to a sensitive child. Me playing the broken girl also amped the illusion that I would be more hurt if he had denied me.

"Please Watari, you can't only do this to me," I whimpered as Watari started to frown, shaking his head slightly before scrutinizing me for a long time. He was beginning to hesitate. All I needed was a bigger push.

"Then, you can drop me off at the cafe, and pick me up if you need!" I said with much more desperation. "Just please, give us some time alone in the cafe."

Watari wrinkled his brow tightly before relaxing them, giving me a shaky smile before agreeing to my request.

"Oh, thank you so much, Watari!" I jumped up from the stool and pecked him lightly on his cheeks. Blinking rapidly from my actions, Watari laughed, ushering me to eat the omelette that he had prepared.

So I did, munching on the soft and warm fluff before asking for my phone from Watari so that I could call my friend. The phone rang once, then twice before someone picked up.

"Isame? Are you free tomorrow? Let's meet up?"

I hopped off the car as Isame waved on the street, grinning widely at me before turning her head towards Watari and bowing in respect. Watari smiled back before I pulled Isame into the cafe as carefreely as possible, picking the seat that was in the corner of the shop.

We sat down as the waiters took our orders before leaving us in utter silence.

"How is your mission coming along?" I took a sip out of my tall glass of water.

"I have finished a quarter of the names," Isame answered almost immediately, making me nod in satisfaction.

"Alright, for the rest of the names, instead of writing that they will follow both yours and Alyona's orders, change it to only Alyona's orders." I added as Isame replied with a 'roger!'

"Did you see the man that dropped me off today?" I leaned forwards as Isame nodded obediently. "Write his name on the note with the cause of Death being his original lifespan, and that he will follow all orders of Sayu Yagami."

"Yes," Isame replied as she sipped her water, looking at me happily. I was a bit curious as to why her mood was so chipper today.

"My online collection has been populating the streets lately!" She tapped her fingers together before pointing to a desk beside us. My eyes trailed to the small keychain that attached with the face of a well-designed cat hanging onto a girl's backpack.

Oh ho? They started to make it into keychains, huh? Definitely the popular option with young girls.

"That's nice, have you been in contact with the others recently?" I asked as our desserts came onto the desk, Isame who ordered a lemon tart while I ordered a parfait.

"We have been calling frequently, but I haven't found the time to actually meet up with them yet," Isame sighed before pouting. "I miss them..."

"Don't worry, we'll all meet one day," I scooped the whipped cream off my parfait before tasting the melting milk in my mouth in pure ecstasy.

"Even with Aoiko? We haven't seen her in months," Isame said.

"Even with Aoiko," I nodded before brushing my hair out of the way. "Aoiko still has her own mission to accomplish."

To be honest, I sent Aoiko as a backup plan to ensure some connections so that it would be easier to come in contact with money in the near future. But with the change of the Mafia on my side, there was really no reason that I needed her anymore.

Yet I'll place her there just in case something happens in the future. Like if the mafia accidentally gets killed by Light or something.

I paused before staring at Isame who was biting deliciously into her tart. It was actually scary how much I was relying on my writers. If Isame had betrayed me and written her own name to control the whole mafia...

I shuddered at the thought before narrowing my eyes at her.

It was dangerous.

Purely dangerous.

Should I just kill her?

Something in me moved, urging me to remove this thorn beside me. Her face was getting repulsively annoying when I imagined the scenario of her betraying me.

I want to kill her.

I didn't want an unstable subject near me and hold so much power.

It was already too dangerous that Felix could also follow her requests without any resistance. I needed Felix to hand her the Death Note pages to have the group under my order, but when Felix, the guy who was going to be the next head, had the possibility of being under her orders...

She had to be removed.

"Isame, you will kill your-"

No, I still needed her.

And...why was I so intent on killing her when I saw her write her own name on the Death Note?

She had no choice. She had to follow my orders.

"Isame, how is your...tart?" I cleared my throat before biting my lips, staring hard at her again. She described the sweet and sour taste with her bubbly personality, not noticing my threatening thoughts towards her.

She was dangerous.

If she somehow went out of my control...

"Did you get Felix's name?" I asked with a dark tone as she nodded innocently without hesitation.

I fell silent at her confirmation.

This...was not good.

I did not like sharing my powers of manipulation with her.

But I was powerless without my writers.

I cleared my throat again.

"Okay, when you get back, tell him these exact words: start writing all the names of your enemies," I felt my eyes flash a bit red before I continued.

"Isame, from now on, other than asking for more of the Death Note, you will not be able to order or request anything else from anyone unless I say so." I glared at her intensely as she nodded.

"Give me your verbal promise."

"I promise not to order anything aside from the Death Note unless you say so," she said as I fell back into my seat, still not entirely convinced with her.

If she somehow betrayed me...

"Isame, ask Felix to keep every Death Note page you have written on, and keep it safe," I commanded as she obeyed.

Rubbing my palms into my eye sockets, I sighed a bit before pushing the possibility of Isame betraying me behind my mind.

Now was not the time to focus on hypothetical thoughts.

A small smirk made its way onto my lips, sadistically pressing itself wider and wider until my lips were stretched thin.

It was time to pay L back for making me bored.

It was the first time that I have found myself to be possessive over my own belongings.

It felt bitter and confusing the whole time.

I could understand though because in my past life everything given to me was bought by my parents. Everything that I owned did not fully belong to me if I was in that house. Transferring into Sayu's body, I really did not have anything I wanted nor was attached to.

The manipulation used in Death Note was my finding.

It belonged to me.

It was the only thing that I had found that was mine.

It was mine.

And so telling the people to fall under Isame's orders was a wrong mistake on my part, yes I had to accept that. But that did not rub away the dark swirl in the bottom of my stomach when I saw her face.

What is up with today?

I chewed on my lip, tearing the dead skin that lingered on my mouth before scrutinizing the couple who were kissing each other in the front entrance of one of the rooms in L's buildings. Watari had gone to assist L after I entered the building, but the moment I came off the elevator, Light and Misa were all over each other's faces.

My lips formed a singular tight line.

I was already in a bad mood from Isame. This feeling did not disappear when I saw them. No, it had amplified.

I had the urge to kill Light.

He was mine.

How dare he kiss someone else?

He was mine.

If he wanted to do that to someone else other than me, might as well have him disappear from the face of the earth.

There was a knot in my chest that was getting tighter and tighter. It felt like pain, but it was dull and slow-burning pain. It felt tense and alert, scraping at the bottom of my stomach and mocking me for my behaviour and thoughts.

Stop this.

Light has no relationship with you. There was no reason to care.

I sneered at the couple and turned away, although my eyes were still hardened on Light.

Was this me being jealous?

"Hah!" I jeered out with so much venom that I couldn't even believe it myself.

Excuse moi?

Me? Jealous? Me?!

You must be kidding me!

The black demon inside of me pounced with glee, taunting me with the image of Light enjoying her company. His fingernails clawed circles on my heart while spreading his darkness like bubbles inside, edging me to do something. The feeling was driving me insane.

Break them apart.

I bared my teeth at the thought.

"I want to hit him," I whispered darkly, flashing my pupils at the two. There was nothing more than I wanted right now other than to strangle him and watch him plead for my mercy underneath me.

The darkness moved within, consuming everything that I could think of and painting it red.

I hated how he touched her.

It was irritating to see him touch her.

I resented the fact that Misa was not me.

The couple broke apart as Misa's face flushed with joy.

I wanted to holler a 'fuck you!' at her.

What the frick was with that blush on your face, Misa?!

Was he a good kisser? Was he?!

My balled-up fists trembled beside me as I sneered at her.

Well, what do you know! I was the one who he practiced with!

The petty fact sunk deep into my heart as I swallowed, flushing at how childish I became. I tore my eyes away and stomped back into the elevator, huffing and gritting my teeth at this unbearable and disgusting feeling of mine.

This was undeniably jealousy.

I slammed my eyes shut in fury.

What the frick was wrong with me?!

Me? Jealous? Possessive over my brother?!

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I shrieked and hoisted my hands into my hair, messing it up like some kind of madwoman. Glaring at the corners of the elevator, I jumped up and tried to stomp my foot onto the rails inside the elevator, causing the whole entire shack to move left and right.

I inhaled sharply, panting with my chest rising up and down in rhythmic beats.

The elevator door opened and I rushed out, bolting straight for my room and slamming the door behind me, digging into the pillows and flinging it onto the ground repetitively.

Fuck you, Light Yagami!

Go die in a hole, Misa Amane!

I-

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I roared inside my soundproof rooms and leaped into the air, stomping my shoes onto the perfectly innocent pillow.

I wheezed, finally getting off of the anger train.

Oh gosh, I was so frustrated at myself.