Chapter 20

My dreams shifted randomly, twisting both reality and illusions all over the place.

"I'm sorry." I cried in front of my grandmother's body.

"I'm sorry- I couldn't- I'm sorry!"

Her body had been chopped, stabbed countless times in the back as she smiled tearfully at my shivering figure.

"It's not your fault, child." She quaked painfully before pulling the knife out of her shoulder, coughing out black blood before stabbing it back in.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, covering my wet eyes as I fell onto my knees. Her eyes dimmed before flashing me her last smile and left the world.

"I'm sorry I couldn't end your pain." I coughed out my own blood before watching her pool of blood seep out from her warm body. My blood dripped out of my mouth before splattering onto the ground.

"I'm sorry I- I made you do it yourself." My breath shuddered as the blood started to crawl towards me as if trying to comfort me.

"I'm so sorry I made you suffer!"

The hate in me started to spin, deeper and deeper before the blood started to entangle onto my limbs, holding me down as my shirt started vomiting out waterfalls of blood, spraying all across the room and creating a bloodied dress that devoured everything in sight.

An emotion I couldn't describe flooded me, drowning me from the outside and gnawing at my insides.

Guilt.

It felt terrible.

"I'm sorry." I echoed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

I woke up crying.

"I'm sorry-" I sobbed into my arms as the body of my grandmother filled my mind.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"

I needed someone. Something. Anything.

I couldn't stop myself before I reached Light's room, tears still leaking dreadfully out of my eyes.

I opened it without knocking, staring at Light who lay peacefully in his bed and breathing in and out.

I'm sorry!

The voice inside me shrieked from the guilt. The pain.

I needed something.

I'm cold.

I'm freezing.

Help me.

"Sayu?" I heard him stir before blinking twice and sitting up in the dark.

"I'm sorry-" I shuddered before staggering towards him. "Nightmare- I can't-"

I squeaked out a wail before falling to my knees. I couldn't see in the dark clearly, but I felt his body shift out of the bed before touching me on the shoulder.

His hand was warm.

Warm.

I was so cold.

Droplets of tears fell onto the back of my palms as I squinted hard at them.

What was I doing?

L could clearly see our interactions.

But I was freezing.

"Light," I gasped before wrapping my arms around his neck.

His warmth soothed me so badly that my body instantly stopped shivering.

I felt his hand hesitate, hovering above my back before cautiously patting me.

"Light," I repeated as if it was a chant, a prayer. My grandmother's face dimmed, disappearing into the darkness as I leaned closer towards the male, breathing in his scent.

"C-can I sleep with you tonight?" I trembled at the thought of going back into the darkroom all by myself. "Please, I don't think-"

I whimpered.

"Nevermind- I can't-"

Light shifted forwards and lifted me up from the ground before guiding me to his bed, continuously patting my back. My vision blurred further as we both quietly slipped into his covers, me clinging onto him before fainting to sleep with my tears buried in his chest.

I woke up with a jolt before staring at Light's sleeping face.

What the fu-

Oh look, his lashes are so long.

I mentally slapped myself.

It was in the middle of the night. I was tired. I was traumatized.

It's fine, you didn't mess up that-

Okay, yeah, I messed up.

Well, the good thing is that I've physically shown our close relationship as siblings to L, and sneakily portrayed Light's persona of being a caring and loving big brother!

...The bad thing is that L might suspect our relationship to be closer than normal siblings.

I mean, hey, when Light bought porn from the convenience store, even L said that it was normal for a boy in puberty to be looking at that! Totes! I only played the younger sister who had a nightmare and Light played along with me!

Hahaha...

Well, what will happen will happen. If L questions, then I will just answer that we're close as siblings. My eyes glazed over Light's appearance curiously, watching his soft features as the rays of sunlight seeped onto his face.

His skin looked so soft, with his large and tired eyelids that shielded those calculating orbs. Even though his face was buried deep into the pillow, his jawline still came out sharp and alert, relaxing into his slumber. His nose was the perfect small and slim shape.

Exactly how many girls would kill for that nose?

I scrunched up my own, feeling my nostrils flare.

Bruh, he looked like a sculpted angel.

The only problem was that he was too perfect.

I stared at my similar coloured hair that was sprawled out across his pillow, curls reaching his cheeks, touching them.

"I'm sorry I put you in a tight place yesterday," I whispered as my hands clenched inside his blankets. Had he not accepted me, he would be directly telling L that our whole sibling act was fake.

It was my mistake that risked him to L. Yet we had successfully jumped over that pole, creating an innocent yet caring vibe for Light. If...L did suspect didn't suspect us of incest.

"As long as you know." He exhaled out softly without opening his eyes. "You know what to do."

How am I not surprised that he was awake?

"Thanks," I whispered back before crawling out of his bed and shuffling the opened covers around him before snickering deliberately and tip-toeing outside of his room like a mischievous child.

Everything went smoothly after that.

Light had taken his entrance exams, and quickly, the date of January 28th had rolled around. That day, everything was eerily quiet and normal, almost as if the disappearance of a certain classmate was the usual occurance.

I smiled sweetly at the board, waiting for the day to be finished.

And it did.

The next day, Miyara came to school perfectly normal, sliding a small sim card across the desk as we were eating. I thanked her casually before carefully tucking in the card in between my palms.

"Miyara," I called out before leaning into her ear and spoke in the limited amount of Chinese that she could understand. "Do not sleep at all today. Tomorrow, you will go to the NPA institute at 3:00 pm, looking extremely disturbed and quaking. You will report everything you saw under the bridge. Do not speak of anything else relating to your recording or having a sim card. Make up a suitable excuse for why you passed the bridge."

I added quietly.

"Say the reason why you didn't report it was because you were so scared." I eyed her as she nodded blankly.

"While you are there, memorize all the names and faces of the police officers. Especially someone named Shinori. You should be able to meet him at 3:00 pm since that is the end of his shift."

"Tsubame," I called to my other friend who rolled her eyes from her school work onto my face with a funny look of annoyance.

"I'll be at your house today at 5:30 pm. Prepare a computer."

I smiled fondly at the three.

I sat in front of Tsubame's computer as the video recording started to load. At first, the screen was shown in the orange-pink sky, but then it transitioned to the silhouette of Tadashi Kyotani, walking under the shadowy part of the bridge.

I watched in anticipation as the boy took out what seemed to be a sharp kitchen knife before he stabbed the blade into the middle of his stomach. I flinched for the boy.

Amazing, he didn't even hesitate.

I watched as the blood poured out from his stomach as he continued to slide the knife down his body, creating a messy cut from the middle to his abdomen. Entranced, the boy coughed out blood but continued to make the cut bigger by twisting the blade up and drawing it towards his chest. When the knife seemed to have hit a bone, the boy took it out, staggering as blood dripped to the ground before proceeding to stab the knife into the wound again, digging to the left side to create an opening.

Kyotani fell onto his knees yet proceeded to yank the blade across his left hypochondriac region as blood continuously started to fall from his body and lips.

I made a face, feeling his pain through the screen, face deathly pale before he threw away the knife across from his body, and thrust his hands into his stomach before spurting out another cough of blood and completely falling forwards, onto the ground.

The recording continued as I watched his hands twitch and shake, continuously pulling on something from his ripped flesh before going still, which I supposed was his death.

The recording continued by zooming in, lenses forced on the boy's immobile body before blacking out. I took out the sim card from the computer and closed my eyes, leaning into the chair to process the information.

That describes the limit of the Death Note.

I opened my orbs before twisting the sim card and snapping it in two before tossing them into the trash can.

First, my orders will be absolute no matter how much pain the victim feels when carrying them out. Second, it is possible to die from an impossible order, however, they die by trying to attempt it.

Third, as long as they can physically do it, they will do it.

But could they still feel pain under my orders? Although the video was taken at a zooming angle, I didn't get an angle to see his face.

I would have to furthermore test my theory.

That was only a physical test.

Next, it was mentally.

It took a period of time before Miyara was released from the NPA, shuddering and pale after all of their questioning. Miyara's situation was obviously informed to her mother by the NPA, and was told to take a week off of school to stabilize her mentality.

I stood outside patiently as the door opened to reveal a pale, black-haired woman standing inside the house. Her lips were in a thin tight line as her eyes widened at my familiar school uniform at this time in the evening.

"Hello? How can I help you?" The woman asked cautiously as she stepped out of the doorway and into her front porch.

"So sorry to bother you, ma'am. I am Miyara's friend from school and I brought her homework with my notes." I lifted up my arm to reveal a whole bag of books and papers.

"Oh, my goodness, sorry about that! It must have been so heavy for you to carry!" The woman rushed forwards to take the item from my hand before giving me an apologetic smile.

"It was alright, ma'am. But I did get lost on the way here. That's why I apologize for this inconvenient time." I lowered my head slightly before raising my other hand which contained the most popular sweets from the cake store near the school.

"I hope these can make up for my lateness, though I did leave at 4 pm..." I trailed off as the woman gasped with a slightly pale face.

To be honest, I was at my after-school tutor all the way to 5:00 pm. Well, she didn't need to know that.

"But it's 5:20 right now!" She took my hand and squeezed it. "Oh my goodness, your hands are freezing cold! Please, come inside! I cannot have one of Mia's friends leaving like this!"

Guilt tripped her right in.

I smiled sweetly before nodding hesitantly.

"Then I will take you up on that offer, I am so sorry for intruding."

"Nonsense! I am so happy Mia has such a polite friend like you!" The woman guided me into the house just in time for Miyara to be walking down the stairs.

"Sayu?" Miyara's eyes widened at my appearance before rushing down the stairs. "What brought you here?"

"Mia, you never told me you had such a polite friend!" The woman placed her arms on her hips before handing Miyara her textbooks that I brought to her house.

"Such a sweetie she is! She even brought your textbooks and cake for arriving so late!"

Miyara stared at the cake for a moment before thanking me with a small grunt.

"Ah, Miyara, I might have to go over the history notes with you, if you have time." I gestured politely to the stack of books before Miyara agreed obediently, leading me to her room.

"I'll bring the tea up as soon as I can!" The woman hollered out as we entered her room.

Miyara's room was nothing that I had expected. There was a simple bed with white and black square patterns on her covers. A white desk with a wooden black standard chair that lay across from her bed as a giant black bookcase towered next to her closet. The other side of her room was her very own bathroom without a shower.

"I never took you for a modernist or a minimalist." My eyes glanced around before shutting the door behind us, locking it in the progress.

"Yeah, I don't really enjoy all the frilly and girly stuff." Miyara crossed her legs as she sat on her white carpet, staring back at me.

"You seem like you have something to say." I sat down too, but instead of crossing my legs, I extended them, stretching them across the floor.

"Is it really that surprising? I mean, my room?"

I blinked at her comment before laughing, placing my hands on the ground to support me.

"And I thought you were going to ask me something else," I shook my head before murmuring darkly. "Well, you can't since I ordered you to."

"But yes, I did not expect you to be so simple with the appearance you had at school as a Yankee."

"Seriously? A Yankee?" She raised her eyebrows at me questioningly, making me laugh again.

"You never noticed? You were giving off bad girl vibes this whole year!" I leaned forwards before lowering my voice for the first time in her house.

"Now, enough chit-chatting. Let's get onto the main topic, shall we?"

Author's notes:

By the way, what type of cake do you guys prefer?

Reviews are desperately needed!