The sand was slippery under Yeosang's bare feet. The heat on his skin dusty. The cries of Bennu circling overhead to attend to their march permeated his brain.

Their trek helped Yeosang gather his thoughts. They stayed clear of all roaming beings near the oasis as San in Bastet's shape led them towards another hill. Though the fresh clear blue of the water lured for a sip and to wash off the dust on their skin, Anubis scowled at some water-dwellers nearby. 

Yeosang caught him looking at the cave yearnfully a few times. Wishing himself back in its darkness, its silence, to do his work. Snobbish as he was, Anubis was very introverted among his fellow gods.

Being here was the weirdest sensation. It would have been too fantastical and unreal if Yeosang weren't feeling his surroundings with his own body. If he couldn't see the truth of myth and legends. Depictions came to life, and the worn temples of his modern times stood in their full glory here. None of it woke any sense of familiarity in him, but he was excited to get to look around while he ducked behind Anubis' larger frame.

The jackal turned his head towards him while they were climbing the hill to Thoth's mountain. Yeosang was the only one in the trio panting against the heat. Bastet's step was graceful even on two legs and her features serene in the bright sun.

"How is it? Are your memories returning? Do you remember conducting your unruly children here?"

Yeosang awkwardly shook his head. He avoided looking at the jackal for too long, shy under his penetrating gaze. 

"In my mind, I have never been here before and I have no children."

"You might not even recognise Apep if you see him?" Anubis asked, before shaking his head to himself.

"How foolish. Whether you are truly Ra or just a confused mortal, you must sharpen your senses to the danger around you."

"Thoth may tell him how," San threw in as they made it to the top of the stairs. Statues of the ibis-headed god flanked the entrance up into the temple, and Yeosang gaped at them when they wandered past. Bennu stayed outside to hover around the trees, but he would undoubtedly find them again once they emerged.

Thoth's temple was livelier than Bastet's. Yeosang spotted countless scriptures in towering shelves, items to measure the stars and magic and calendars with moon phases. He saw no kitchens, no food for them to eat, but Thoth and his helpers seemed busy with their studies every day.

Yeosang was so invested in everything. He wanted to learn what they learned, wanted to measure the tides together. Anubis groaned at the sight of all the instruments of wisdom, but Yeosang's eyes shone with greed.

"I bet you would have joined his harem forthwith," Anubis grumbled when he picked up on Yeosang's excitement, and Yeosang gave him a funny look. 

"Here we are," Bastet purred when they made it into another large hall. Even more bookshelves wrapped all around it, and the ground was covered in scribbles and drawings. A person sat in a corner with a book in his lap, long ibis beak tilted over it with intrigue. The green and blue feathers of his bird's head matched the gems on his golden accessories, otherwise he fashioned his robes long and sweeping, covering most of his human skin compared to the other two.

When he heard their crunching steps on his ground, he looked up. Small, beady eyes studied their group.

San waved a friendly paw at him. 

"Greetings Thoth. Would you have a few minutes for us?" 

Thoth slowly closed his book. There was curiosity in his gaze.

"I rarely see you up here, kin," he addressed Anubis, and a large palm landed on Yeosang's shoulder, massive compared to his body and scorching hot. It pushed him in front of the two deities, exposing him to Thoth's stare.

"I'm here because of him," Anubis explained before he crossed his arms, leaving Thoth the time to stand up and scrutinise Yeosang.

Nervous under the stare of yet another deity he met like a casual uni friend, Yeosang fiddled with his fingers while Thoth came closer. His piercing gaze studied Yeosang, read his expression and posture aside from the obvious difference in appearance. He didn't comment when he crossed his hands behind his back.

"What brings you here?" He asked, his voice scratching like the caw of a bird. Yeosang gulped nervously. Hopefully, he wasn't aware Yeosang cosplayed as him on Halloween.

"I want to stop the world from being destroyed," Yeosang said, not sounding too confident right now. He was no hero, and he knew as a human, he was powerless. But on the off chance Thoth knew something that could help, he would take it.

"When you left, I told you this would happen," Thoth sighed as he turned to his bookshelves to search for some specific roll of papyrus.

Yeosang was surprised at that answer, so Bastet asked in his stead.

"What do you mean?"

Thoth spoke while searching around and his words addressed Yeosang once more.

"You must have realised that you are the only among you three who cannot remember being a god. Why do you think that is?"

Yeosang's guts clenched into a nervous knot. One more god who recognised him as their own at one glance. It was hard to believe since Yeosang had nothing godly about him, but he had to face the potential truth. Was his ability to work with plants really divine?

At least, Thoth noticed he couldn't remember.

"I guessed his powers hadn't awakened yet, but you are right. He is very late," Anubis grumbled, retreating into the background so they could talk.

With his papyrus in hand, Thoth came back over. The sun danced over the gold adorning him to reflect off it brightly. When he looked over his notes on the papyrus, he nodded to himself.

His black eyes found Yeosang once more.

"You came to me many years ago. You. Ra. When you realised the prophecies spoke true and there was no prevailing against Apep. You said you wanted to forget. To be with your creation so he may never find you. I told you it wouldn't work. You couldn't live and die as a human. But still, you drank that mixture and left. Have you been a human until now?" Thoth recounted and Yeosang looked down on himself, seeing the same as always.

Did a god slumber inside of him? Hidden from himself and unable to remember who he once was because he wished to forget? Because he cherished this human life he created so much he wanted to live it himself?

"I... Wanted to forget?" He echoed, but as the words settled, it began to make sense.

Just a happy human life. Human feelings, human joys. Plants and animals. Yes, Ra would cherish his creation so much that he couldn't bear losing it. Once he learned everything he worked for would be destroyed, he wanted to live his last years among his dear humans.

What an unfortunate god he was. His fate so cruel. Yeosang felt with him. He might have done the same.

And now he had these subtle supernatural powers, gifted to him by Ra when he lay to rest in Yeosang's body. 

"Am I really him?" Yeosang had to ask, even when it all pieced together now. Their souls were one, but Ra became human, how Anubis never did.

Thoth nodded his beak.

"You are. You won't remember, but your effect cannot be fully hidden. This is how Anubis found you, and this is why you are here now. Foolish brother of mine. I told you that you couldn't run..." He said the last part mostly to himself, before he wandered back over to his chair to sit.

Yeosang rubbed his arms, feeling so displaced in his own skin now that the understanding settled in.

"Since I realised who he is, Apep also might. And soon. Then he can barely defend himself since he chose this human prison," Anubis argued, less concerned with the touching story. Yeosang wanted to hug himself, wanted to hug Ra inside him because he understood now how scary it was. To lose his friends was the same as to lose his self-proclaimed children. Ra wanted the same as him. And like Yeosang, he had to wait for the inevitable end.

"Can we reverse the spell so he can fight?" Bastet suggested, but before Thoth could answer, Yeosang already shook his head. 

Nothing changed. He may be Ra, but Ra chose to become human. To flee his godly role until the end. Yeosang didn't want to force him to wake up. To fight this battle he would inevitably lose as fate demanded. 

"No, I'm- I'm Yeosang. Just Yeosang. If I ever was anyone else, I'm just Yeosang now. I don't want to start a fight I cannot win. But I would like to save the world," he babbled. So far, Ra was still alive, safely contained inside of him. He tended to his animals and plants with Yeosang's hands, experienced human love and friendship and family. Yeosang was Yeosang now. Apep might come for him once he recognised him, but until then, Ra couldn't do anything. They had to rely on other helpers.

Thoth nodded wisely.

"Then you must find Seth. As we speak, he and Apep bring doom to the pantheon," he said almost too nonchalantly. As if he also accepted nothing could change the eternal night that was coming for them.

"They met already?!" Anubis snapped. Just recently, they had been hoping for enough time to find Apep, but they were a step behind. While Yeosang only just realised who he was, Apep was already in the final stage of his coup d'état. 

Not at fault, Thoth couldn't grant them any other solace.

"Ra disappeared, so Seth was no longer contained. He may change his mind yet if Ra returns, but you know the wheel of fortune spins evermore. I don't know if you can do anything. All I could do was spare my brother some pain. I'm sorry you had to gain awareness." He bowed his head before Yeosang, pitying the fate he was doomed to. 

Unsure how to react, Yeosang just nodded back. He was sad for Ra, but he also wasn't fully aware yet what this meant for him. How real the danger had become.

"We'll try to find Seth," Bastet decided when she picked up on the fear in Yeosang's eyes. San cared for him, and Bastet cared for Ra. Yeosang could be glad to have a few friends on his side.

When they turned to leave, Thoth picked up his book.

"Good luck. Relish your time, Human Ra. You deserve as much of you as you can get," he told them, then they huddled outside. Anubis scowled to himself at the news of Seth already picking a side. Not as if he was much better, ultimately picking the neutral middle, but this slimmed their chances at postponing Apep's rule.

"Couldn't he switch over? He likes Ra and if the sun is gone, the moon also dies," Yeosang wondered as they stepped outside, but he was still shaken by the confirmation. Bastet patted his back with a soft paw.

Anubis huffed at the sky. Threw a sharp glare at the sun, still merry and warm overhead, but for how much longer?

"He gave us wisdom he wouldn't give Apep. That's as much as we can ask him for. Told you scholars are useless. You need warriors," he said, and Yeosang was about to tell him he quite liked Thoth since he helped Ra forget and be who he wanted to be for his final years. Ra didn't run. He was doomed from the beginning and Thoth had understanding for him where Anubis didn't.

But San didn't let them argue on top of the hill while a bunch of creatures and deities might be listening in.

"We need Seth," he reminded them, and Yeosang exchanged a look with Anubis. The jackal stared back at him, then he turned to follow Bastet to the edge of the hill so they could figure out where to find Seth. If Apep was in the modern world, Seth might be with him already. Or he might be hiding somewhere nearby as a double agent.

Yeosang listened to them talk, but his heart was heavy in his chest.

For the first time since Anubis showed up, Yeosang finally felt the change happening. Or perhaps it was the god inside of him who felt the end draw closer. Either way, his body was strung with tension.

Their time was running out.

*********

This story will have 45 chapters btw!