Yooo they posted a new chapter ! hooray.

SkittleMilkz author's note: There is a considerable amount of explicit jokes here. Just putting that out there in case that thing icks you.

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Losing thousands of mora in a span of minutes was a feat Wanderer would never expect anyone to ever achieve, but Kaveh proved him otherwise. The man had a knack for falling for the most absurd (and obvious) scams to exist— it was nothing new really, yet it never failed to surprise him. He never knew someone would be so reckless to impulsively gamble their money on things you're not even guaranteed to get, but their money, their business, I guess.

The anemo-bearer eyed the stumped Kaveh who hid his face in the dirt out of shame. Mehrak was laid on the ground beside him, the robot eyeing its sulking owner in mild concern.

"All that pulls just for you to not get anything. You're technically pouring money down the drain." Wanderer remarked amusingly.

"Please shut up." Kaveh groaned, "can you at least give me five minutes to wallow in my misery."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I am sooo pitying you right now." Wanderer mockingly patted Kaveh's head like a man would its dog. "I mean, you've spent all your money. What are you gonna eat tonight?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just go on a key-toe diet and stuff my face with nuts like a squirrel."

" Keto diet."

"Whatever. Same thing."

Kaveh swatted Wanderer's hands away and Wanderer snickered at the blondie's messy hair. The sulking scholar stood up and dusted himself off, grabbing Mehrak delicately off the floor before making sure there were no scratches on his companion. He glared at the root of his problems: a desert fox plushie innocently encased in a boxed glass, perched on a colorfully painted metal. It was filled with a different array of stuffed animals.

" Ugh ! Nobody told me how hard it'd be to get a stupid toy from this stupid claw machine."

"I did tell you, but you chose to ignore me and continued to fawn over it, claiming it was 'the cutest animal to ever exist' and that you needed to get your hands on it."

"That was the me from a few minutes ago."

"Yeah. Because a person like you would change in a span of a few minutes."

Wanderer feigned to ponder about something before smiling notoriously. "What do you think your roommate has to say once he finds out you spent all your money on a scammy gacha machine." Toying with Kaveh was a newfound sport Wanderer actively partook in. He considered himself a Division 1 Kaveh bully (alongside Al Haitham, one of the main team players, of course). Not a lot of people enjoy the sport, but those who do are extremely good at it.

" Please , don't ." Kaveh felt a migraine coming his way, "he already has enough dirt on me. The only thing I have against him is that he made me wash his nasty, stiff socks when I lost a bet."

" He what —"

"Excuse me." A voice pulled Wanderer away from his stupefied stare. Kaveh just grinned at him cheekily before facing the person behind them.

Wanderer was quick to regain composure. He faced the newcomer while sporting a practiced, professional smile. "Do you have business with us?"

The person had silver-hair styled in a twisty ponytail. They donned dark techwear clothing with neon highlights. There was a game console attached to the white belt on their hip. Wanderer inferred that they looked like the otaku version of Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls Z.

"No." The person replied nonchalantly. Seeing how the duo just stood there perplexedly, the person let out a hum and pointed at the machine behind the two. Wanderer and Kaveh let out an awkward ' oh' before silently stepping out of the way.

The person lodged some mora in the crane machine's coin comparator then cracked their knuckles. The duo— trio, if you count Mehrak — curiously stood by the side to watch.

"Hey, you think she's gonna get it?" Kaveh whispered loudly to Wanderer while squinting his eyes suspiciously at the treacherous claw machine.

"That machine is a scam. It's unlikely— also, can you fix the way you whisper? The entirety of Teyvat can hear you."

"Sorry, I can't whisper normally, you'd be out of earshot cuz of how short you are."

"Height has nothing to do with thi—"

The loud noises coming from the machine startled the duo from their not-so-sneaky conversation. The silver...ette ? Silverette? Yep. The silverette was pressing the joy stick like a hummingbird pecking the trunk of a tree. Wanderer kept an eye around to see if there were any security personnel coming their way due to all the noise they were making, grabbing them by the collars and punishing them like a gardener would to a parasitic snail eating their flowers.

" Uh... so did you usher us to the side so you can break the machine?" Kaveh asked skittishly.

Wanderer nonchalantly lolled his head to the side and shrugged, "about time someone destroyed them."

The person stayed silent. She was overly focused at the task in hand, so the pair chose not to distract her any more. It took a couple more seconds of button-smashing before she let out a satisfied huff and pressed the main red button. The pair watched in bated breath as the claw went down and latched on the arms of a black cat, a silver wolf, and a red spider plushie. The metal held the three plushies together like its life depended on it— it probably did, because, let's be honest here: if you were a cute little square machine living your life, happily scamming innocent people who just wanted a plushie from you, and a girl came out of nowhere and started mashing your buttons just to get your prizes out of you, wouldn't it be better to just give them what they want instead of having your poor little buttons clicked til they never work again? No? Was that too confusing? Oh, well.

Kaveh (dramatically) screamed in disbelief when the girl got all three of the plushies.

He assumed— deduced that the machine was an advanced mechanical lifeform. That it had artificial feelings like his companion, Mehrak, and felt offended that the machine did not offer him and his mora any mercy— the favouritism of the machine was obvious! He pointed two his fingers to his eyes then back to the machine, gesturing 'I'm keeping my eye on you'.

"Haven't you spent enough time here, SIlver Wolf?" A drawled out lulling voice called out from the distance. The girl– er , Silver Wolf, muttered a sigh and let go of the machine's joystick. If that was difficult to picture, just imagine a middle schooler getting scolded by their teacher for hiding the pass to the bathroom and is trying their best to discreetly roll their eyes while silently mouthing and copying what their teacher is saying in a mocking way. Except instead of rolling their eyes they sigh. Yeah? Yeah.

All four of them ( Mehrak included ) faced the owner of the voice (one out of dismay while the others out of curiosity). Wanderer raised his brow at the sight of the beautiful and charming young woman with red-wine colored hair. Wanderer had his guard up, but he tried not to make it show on his face. The young woman faced the anemo-bearer and smiled softly— creepily, in Wanderer's opinion. Her eyes bore deep in him as he briefly made eye contact with her, it was like all of his secrets were getting pulled out of his chest by thin strings woven by a spider.

"I'm really not liking the vibes here ." Kaveh— for once in his forsaken life — whispered softly. He held onto Wanderer's arm to ground himself.

"Kafka. You're early." Silver Wolf nodded at the young woman's direction.

"It's time to go," Kafka spoke then looked at her watch, "we have 20 minutes left until Elio's script will come to life. Bladie is waiting for us."

"...Go on ahead. I'll follow you in a minute." Kafka hummed before slowly strutting away from them.

" Women are so scary. " Kaveh moaned uneasily.

Silver Wolf faced the tongue-tied duo ( Mehrak included, of course ), handing them a small, circle battery-shaped device.

"Here."

Wanderer eyed the small device suspiciously. "What is this?"

"A hacking device," Silver Wolf pulled out a gum from her pocket, unwrapped it, then chewed on it. "Just choose a machine of your choice then stick Kafka-inator on it. It'll tamper with the machine and give you whatever the machine has to offer."

Kaveh grabbed the device from Wanderer's hand excitedly, twisting it around his hands like an obsessive antique collector. He had never seen a device like this before! (Let's casually forget the fact that he was quaking like a leaf moments prior).

"You can only use it on one machine, so choose wisely." With that, Silver Wolf started walking to the direction Kafka exited.

Kaveh and Wanderer paused for a moment before grinning at each other mischievously, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

The duo started giggling deviously before approaching their victim.

Al Haitham was awoken from his sleep by a loud noise outside his shared room. The sounds of keys clattering and shoes stomping on the floor filled his ears and he groaned inwardly. It was most definitely Kaveh messing up their house in a drunken stupor again. He opened his bedside drawer to grab earplugs from and raised his blanket over his head in a practiced attempt to block out the noises.

" AL HAITHAM~ " Kaveh called out, "you won't believe what we got."

Ugh . Either these earplugs aren't working or Kaveh's just too loud for his sake.

Wait... 'we'?

Did Kaveh bring a random drunkard home?

Al Haitham stood abruptly. Drowsiness escaped him quicker than a prisoner magically finding a drill to tear down the prison walls that confined him with ( what ). The ruckus outside his room was still ongoing, but the onset stomping noises were replaced by squeaks akin to noises rubber ducks and chickens would make. What the hell is going on.

He took his blanket off and fixed his unbuttoned, striped pajama sleepwear. Before he could put on his blue, fuzzy penguin indoor slippers, the door to his bedroom door burst open. The room floor was quickly dwarfed by a considerate, diverse amount of plushies.

" Help! I am getting attacked by an army of plushies!" Kaveh acted dramatically as he plopped down the plushie-filled floor like a fish out of water.

" Kaveh."

(Ooouh, Al Haitham was having none of it.)

"...Yes?" Kaveh responded meekly.

"What is the meaning of this ." Al Haitham's voice was calm— calmer than usual at least, and it lowkey scared Kaveh shitless (not that he'd ever admit that).

"What's up?" The architect sat up and smiled sweetly.

"Why is our bedroom floor filled with stuffed animals, and who did you bring home."

" Erm -– Wanderer and I... won these?" Ah, Wanderer. Well, that answered one of Al Haitham's questions.

"You stole them."

"No! Listen, this girl gave us a Kafka-inator and it made the machine barf out everything in it. You should've seen the device it was so cool—"

" So you did steal them ." Al Haitham pinched the bridge of his nose. At least he'll know the reason why Cyno might randomly appear and arrest Kaveh at their house tomorrow.

"Erm...no?"

"Kaveh, it is 23:00, it's too late in the night for you to be giving me a headache. Where is Wanderer anyways?"

"He said he was gonna go to the kitchen to grab something to drink before leaving. Why?"

" Sigh... Kaveh, check the drawers immediately."

"What do you m— OH YEAH. " Kaveh realized what Al Haitham implied and sprinted to the kitchen, effectively side-stepping the random amount of plushies strewn on the floor. Al Haitham followed close behind him. He checked their drawers just to find the majority of their tea bags gone.

"That blue, filthy thieving racoon." Al Haitham sneered good-naturedly before crossing his arms.

There was a note left on one of the untouched tea bag containers (it was Chamomile tea if anyone's curious). Al Haitham read the note outloud and Kaveh gasped in absolute horror.

"Dumbass, you left your kid (Mehrak) in the arcade. You better feel lucky because I went back to get him for you. I'm keeping him with me for the night so you (a dumbass) can dwell on your carelessness as his neglectful, self-proclaimed (dumbass) parent. Also, thanks for all the tea. I've been looking for these tea brands all over the port yesterday. I'll be sure to repay you by not calling you a dumbass for a month (after this note, at least). See ya, dumbass. — Your most heroic and kind friend, Wanderer."

"Wow. You should count how many times he called you a dumbass."

" MEHRAK!!! "

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SkittleMilkz author's note: 

I couldn't resist sneaking in a sock joke im sorry if u understood it (becuz scara defo understood what kaveh meant) anyways shoutout to my sock homies. Be it Mr socks fans or just actual irl ppl who are made out of socks

Disclaimer that I haven't done any Sumeru quests other than the archon one where al haitham goes batshit crazy :") im turning into a fake lore reader as days go by (jk i only actually read scara & albedo lore)

Anyone from afar can tell that the contents of my story is just a brain barf (from yours truly). My thought process is simple: I think of something, I write it down, then I somehow make it work. What's a plot? Plot holes? That doesn't exist here. Everyone magically already knows (or will know) each other. Any joke I come up with on the spot WILL be included. I will find space for them, no matter how silly and out of place they are.

Sorry for disappearing on you guys for SIX MONTHS. golly gosh. I had to write a thesis for my finals and it DRAINED me to the point that I couldn't bring myself to write anything anymore after it. I am suffering from PTSD: Post Thesis Stress Disorder.

If I have to write another thesis I will actually go insane and do a Red Leg/Shoes Zeff move and instead of eating my leg I will eat my hands (One Piece humor)

anyways

do u guys think scara has a room in traveler's teapot filled with cute cat plushies that looks like the cat version of him and his friends