O L I V E R   V A L E Z

"Gawin kitang ninong ng anak ko, Oliver." tatawa-tawang sabi ni Atlas sa 'kin. 

I looked at him like he grew three heads and shook my head. We are still young—too young, honestly, to even talk about this thing. I think Atlas has eaten spoiled food making him feel like a dumb horny teenage boy. He put his arm around my shoulder and smirked while looking ahead dreamily. I shrugged his arm off, but he was persistent and kept his arm on my shoulder.

"Come on,  Dude, I'm just thinking about the possibilities."

I raise an eyebrow then looked at his stupid face. "Are you hitting on someone?"

Agad naman lumawak ang ngisi nito sa labi dahil sa 'king sinabi. Mukhang tama nga ang aking hula. Mayroon na naman itong pinupormahan sa kaniyang grade level. Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ba kami naging magkaibigan nito. Given the fact that we're not in the same grade but we hang out like we're twenty-four-seven together. Atlas is three years younger than me and currently in the third year of high school. While I on the other side is in my freshmen.

Siniko ko siya nang may kalakasan kaya napabitaw siya sa pagka-aakbay sa 'kin. 

"Don't tell me you're going to be a dad at that age?"

Atlas smile sheepishly, "Why not?"

I made a disgusting expression, "If I have a daughter, I would not like her to date a man like you."

"Baka nga mas mauna ka pa sa 'king magkaanak. Err... I don't think so. You're too serious to even explore kaya ninong kana lang." tumawa pa muli ito na para bang na hihibang na siya.

I left him there still daydreaming about his girl and the possibilities he's talking about. Tumunog na ang bell ng mga high school hudyat na tapos na ang break nila, pero mukhang wala pang balak kumilos si Atlas sa kaniyang kinatatayuan. Habang naglalakad papuntang college of business department ay natanaw ko ang likod ni Odette. Binilisan ko ang paglalakad para maabutin siya. Napapitlag pa si Odette nang hawakan ko ang balikat niya nang maabutan ko.

"Oly, h'wag ka namang nang gugulat diyan." malumanay nitong sabi habang ang isang kamay ay nasa dibdib.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. We have the same class right?"

She just nodded her head and bowed a little. I looked around us to see some of our block mates whispering to one another as they look at Odette. My forehead creased as I look at some of them darkly. Odette didn't deserve such treatment from them. They didn't know her story, so they better shut their opinions to themselves.  

"Give me your book."

Agad naman siyang napalingon sa 'kin dahil sa sinabi ko. Inilahad ko naman ang aking kamay habang nakatingin nang seryoso sa kaniya. Tumikhim si Odette saka bahagyang sinilip ang iilang taon na nagbubulungan. 

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo dahil sa kaniyang sinabi. Why is helping her is not a good idea? Kailan pa naging mali ang pagtulong? Muli kong binalingan ang sinulyapan niya kanina at binigyan sila nang seryosong tingin. Agad namang nagsi-iwasan ng tingin sa 'kin. Walang alinlangan kong kinuha ang libro ni Odette na nasa braso niya. Magproprotesta sana siyang muli kaso nang tignan niya ako, na may seryosong mukha ay hindi na niya itinuloy. 

I like protecting her ever since I saw how cruel the world is to her. I never had a sibling, and I look at Odette like a sister. That's why I'm protective of her. She never said that she liked how I hang out with her, but she never disliked it either. Odette would just say thank you for being there then be a little distant again, but she would have that cute little smile on her lip.

Ganoon lagi ang nagiging takbo ng araw namin. Minsan kasabay papunta sa parehong klase o minsan naman ay sabay kumain ng lunch. Minsan din ay kasama namin siya nina Atlas at Archilles na isa pa naming kaibigan, na tumambay tuwing free time. Pero kadalasan ay sa school lang iyon dahil may trabaho pa si Odette after school. I admire her validity. Kahit gaano pa kahirap at kalupit ang mundo sa kaniya she never gives up, she keeps on fighting. 

But I guess lahat tayo ay napapagod lumaban. 

Atlas, Archilles, Odette, and I were eating lunch at the quadrangle one afternoon. It was a fine afternoon in my fourth year in college. Even though the sun is quite hot. Atlas was at his stupidity again while Archilles was just looking at him boredly. Tahimik namang kumakain si Odette sa tabi ko, not minding Atlas's gibberish. 

"Oly..."

Odette suddenly said after swallowing a spoonful Menudo. She was the one who came up with that nickname ever since we were in high school. I looked at her as I wait for her to continue.

"Do you love me?" 

Biglang nanahimik ang aming kapaligiran. Kahit si Atlas na kanina ay maingay ay nanahimik. Habang ang atensyon naman ngayon ni Archilles ay napunta sa 'min. Para akong nabingi at hindi agad nakakilos o naka-raect man lang. I totally didn't expect that question.

"Yes... Why did you ask?"

I stared at her brown eyes and I saw sadness washed by relief. A small smile crept into her lips that she pursed later on.

"Nothing. I'm just glad someone loves me."

"Mahal din kita, Desa, don't worry!" malawak ang ngiti ni Atlas habang sinasabi 'yon. 

Natawa naman si Odette dahil sa sinabi nito, habang tumango lamang si Archilles na para bang sumasangayon. Atlas and Archilles knew Odette's situation. That's why they cherish her like what I'm doing. Siya lang din kasi ang nag-iisang kaibigan naming babae na talagang malapit sa 'min.

After that peaceful lunch, everything crumbled. It was like after all the serenity, the waiting chaos at the sideway finally decided to take the spotlight. The sunny days became dark days like how the moon replaced the sun every nighttime.  

Odette collapsed while doing physical activity for our class. Everyone in the class was startled when her body suddenly met with the ground. Magkahiwalay ang lalaki at babae habang gumagawa ng activity, kaya nang magtilian ang mga kaklaseng babae doon ko lamang nalaman. I was horrified and scared when I saw her so pale and unconscious. I think that image would stay in my mind forever, and the feeling it gave me would never leave too.

Kaya nang makita ko si Liberty sa sahig na maputla, nag-aagaw buhay, at puro dugo ang katawan. My body trembled with rage, fear, and agony. Parang tumigil muli ang mundo ko, hindi ko marinig ang aking nasa paligid, at pauli-ulit kong nakikita nag pagbagsak niya. Suddenly, Odette's pale and lifeless body flashed in my mind. It made me trembled more and when I looked at the criminal, I lose control. 

Ni hindi ko maalala kung paano ako nakapunta a hospital.

When the doctor informed us that Liberty is now in stable condition, that's the only time when everything sank in.  Parang na alala ko na ulit kung paano huminga. Nang pwede na magpapasok ng bisita sa kwarto ni Liberty ay dali-daling pumasok doon si Olvia. Pinagmamasdan kong umiyak nang umiyak ang aking anak, habang hawak-hawak niya ang kamay ni Liberty. Bigla kong na alala kung paano siya humagulgol at magwala noong makitang duguan at walang malay si Liberty. 

My daughter begged and I never saw her beg. Kahit may pagkukulang ako bilang magulang, at kahit ano pa mang kalungkutan at sakit ang maramdaman niya...Olivia never begged. Iyon ang kauna-unahang pagkakataong nagmakaawa. It broke my heart along with my own pain. masyado akong nagkaroon ng regrets ng sadaling 'yon. I regretted that I've focused too much on our company that I sometimes forgot about Olivia. Hindi siya magmamakaawa nang ganoon katindi kung nabigyan ko siya ng sapat na atensyon at pagmamahal.

Alam kong hindi ako perpektong ama sa anak ko.

"D-Dad... Oh my, God! L-liberty, come one wake up!" nanginginig ang boses na sabi ni Olivia. 

Her body is also shaking as she kneels in front of unconscious Liberty. Ni hindi niya pinansin ang dugong nagmamantya sa kaniyang damit mahawakan lang si Liberty. I was busy with the criminal with my nephews. 

"Liberty d-don't leave me, please." 

Humagulgol na nang walang tigil si Olivia habang parami nang parami ang lumalabas na dugo sa katawan ni Liberty. Anger swelled up in my whole being. I'm angry at myself for not being able to protect my family and Liberty. I cannot forgive myself. Kinuha ko ang aking phone para tumawag ng ambulansya, pero bago ko pa 'yon magawa ay naipaalam na ng isa sa mga guard namin na may papunta na.

I kneel with one knee beside my daughter and hug her sideways. Her black eyes, like mine, reflected sorrow and fear. It was like I was looking at a mirror because it remembered what my eyes were showing too.

Olivia's bloodied shaky hands gripped my arms, "D-Dad, please make Liberty okay... I cannot lose her. N-Not her, please. L-Liberty is my sister! I cannot lose her! I cannot lose her!" 

Olivia started being hysterical and all I could do is to hug her with my all and assure her that everything going to be fine. Na kahit ako ay hindi rin sigurado kung magiging okay nga ba ang lahat.

"She'll live, right? Liberty's going to m-make it, r-right?" 

Parang may bumara sa 'king lalamunan at hindi ako agad nakasagot. Hinawakan ko ang nanlalamig na kamay ni Liberty at mariing pumikit. 

"Yes... She's going to make it." I blindly hoped she will.

Isinubsob ni Olivia ang mukha niya sa 'king dibdib at umiya nang umiyak. I hugged her tightly trying to make her okay. Habang ang isa ko namang kamay ay nakahawak pa rin sa kamay ni Liberty. I rubbed my thumb on her hand and lifted it up. Unti-unti ko biting inangat sa 'king noo at hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak. I closed my eyes tightly and prayed that she will make it. That this amazing and strong woman will survive. I prayed with all my heart. 

"I beg you... Please, make her fine." mahinang sabi ni Olivia habang nakapikit at patuloy na umiiyak.

Maybe... she just loves Liberty too much. That's the half of it but she begged like she cannot live without Liberty. Na parang pagnawala ito ay guguho rin siya. That's why I realized that kulang si Olivia ng mga taong nagmamahal sa kaniya. I hated that. 

After that incident, I grew more protective of Liberty. Seeing her at that state terrified me big time. Parang may ginising itong kung anong emosyon sa kalooban ko. Unti-unti kong na pagtantong, I like her more than I have realized. Akala ko noong una ay na attract lang ako sa kaniya. I cannot deny how gorgeous she is. Na kahit anong saway ko sa 'king isipan ay patuloy pa ring napupunta sa kaniya ang atensyon ko. 

My eyes seemed to be glued to her. That I noticed even the slightest things and mannerism she got. I always notice how her ocean blue eyes glint in happiness when someone is taking their time for her. Or how her eyes will suddenly dim with sadness when watching me and Olivia bond, then she will smile later on. Also, how she flicks her ombre blonde hair when she's irritated, and how she bit her lower lip and its insides when she's nervous or excited. I'm always fascinated by how she beautifully dress and how she carries herself.

When I saw her with my nephew—Froy Valez, that night. I got so jealous that I can't even admit it to myself. Sa tanda ko ito nakararamdam pa pala ako ng ganito katinding klase ng emosyon. Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong komprontahin si Liberty kung bakit siya nasa condo ni Froy. I clearly saw the desire in my nephew's eyes and it was burning hot. I cannot be mistaken. Lalo na nang makita kong may hickey siya sa leeg. I know that I don't have the right to act as this and I hated myself for acting like we have label. Para akong teenager ngayon na nagseselos na hindi naman dapat.

Owing to the fact that I can't control my jealousy right now, I confessed my feelings for her. I may not say I love her directly but when I told her that my heart is hers to hold. I meant it forever. I hated that I'm possessive of her. I know that it's not good in any way and I'm trying myself to not do it, but there are times that I can't stop. I want her to be exclusively mine and mine only. My old heart screams her name every time and I can't silence it. 

Kahit na siya ang sinisigaw nitong puso ko nakaramdam pa rin ako ng takot. She's young while I'm already in my forties. Liberty can find younger and much capable men than me any time. she can find someone who can ride with her with anything. Mas maraming lalaki ang kayang sabayan at sakyan siya sa kahit ano. But when she said that her heart is mine to hold, nakalimutan ko lahat ng takot ko. Sa sobrang tuwa ko tinalon ko 'yung takot na nakaharang sa harapan ko para maabot siya. 

My relationship with Liberty isn't perfect but I'm beyond happy. It was hard but it was worth it. All the challenges that I have experienced were worth it. Just thinking of Liberty's happy face and sweet smile is enough to make me giddy. 

I was busy with my paper works here at my office but I can't focus. Niluwagan ko ang pagka-aayos ng aking necktie at bumuntong hininga. Ipinatong ko ang aking siko sa 'king lamesa at ipinatong doon ang aking baba. Ano ba ang pwede kong gawin para kay Liberty? Ilang araw na lang at opening na ng kaniyang restaurant, at kahit gaano ko kagustong pumunta ay hindi ko magagawa. My company isn't at the top of the chain kaya I still need to work hard. Ayoko namang ipasa kay Olivia ang responsibilidad na siya ang  mag-aangat nito. Gusto ko na kung mamanahin na niya itong business na aking itinayo ay matayog na. 

I have a meeting with a big investor sa araw ng opening ng restaurant. If I get that investor the stability of my business for the next decade will be secured. I'm happy that Liberty understands it and that's one of what I love about her. She may be independent to me in some ways but she got her own thing. I love that her world is not spinning to me. Gusto ko 'yung may sarili siyang pangarap. Gusto ko 'yung may sarili siyang sucess at higit sa lahat ay may sarili siyang patutunguhan, and I'll be happy to support her all the way. 

Napa angat ako ng tingin sa pintuan nang bigla itong bumukas nang walang pasabi. Agad na napataas ang aking isang kilay nang makita ang nakangising mukha ni Atlas, habang papalapit siya sa 'kin. Ang lalaking ito talaga, propesyunal naman siya sa ibang tao pero pag ako ang kaharap parang kinulang sa aruga.

"Do you that knocking exist?"

Atlas's smirks grew wide, "Aren't you supposed to work?"

"I am working."

Umupo ito sa visitors chair at nagdekwatro habang nakatingin sa 'kin.

"I didn't know that staring at the wall was considered working."

Nangunot ang aking noo dahil sa kaniyang sinabi.  Ano bang ginagawa nito rito?

"Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about. Anyway, why are you here?"

"I miss you, Baby!" 

Umakto pa siyang i-ki-kiss ako kaya agad na rumihistro ang pandidiri sa 'king mukha. Ano bang problema nito? Baka bored na naman at ako ang naisipan guluhin.

"Go away. Doon ka kay Archilles manggulo."

Inikot ko ang aking swivel chair para talikuran siya. Kailangan kong mag-isip ng pangbawi kay Liberty dahil hindi ako maka-a-attend sa opening. Wala akong oras para sa kalokohan ni Atlas. Isang oras na lang ang mayroon ako bago ulit ako maging busy sa mga meetings at kung ano-ano pa. 

"He blocked me." 

Narinig ko ang yabag ng kaniyang mga paa hudyat na papalapkit si Atlas sa 'kin. Bakit hindi ko naisip gawin 'yon? Damn, Arch has better ideas on how to drive Atlas away. I should have asked him about his techniques.

"You seem troubled. Mind sharing it with me? Maybe I can help." 

Nakatayo na ngayon si Atlas sa 'king harapan habang nakapamaywang. Bumuntong ininga na lamang ako. Malay ko nga naman at baka may maitulong siya sa problema ko. He's younger than me so maybe he can really help me. At para hindi rin masayang ang pagpunta siya sa opisina ko.

"I don't know to make it up to Liberty," I said with all honesty.

"O, so you really won't attend the opening?"

Nainis naman ako sa sinabi niya, "Can't, Atlas. I can't."

Atlas laugh first before telling me his idea. At first, I find his idea ridiculous but thinking that surprising Liberty is a good idea. But I won't do all the things Atlas said because half of it is nonsense like him. I'll just do the surprise idea he got. Honestly, Atlas may be annoying from time to time but he's helpful. Sa kaniya rin nanggaling na dapat daw ay gumamit ako ng sweet words minsan habang nag-uusap kami ni Liberty sa text. I'd prefer it to say in person but Atlas said that youngsters nowadays like sweet texts. Na iiwan daw ako ni Liberty kung boring akong kausap sa text.

I thought that I was an idiot for believing him but his advice is pretty effective. Especially, when I was too busy and I can't meet with Liberty, I made sure that we are still communicating through texting. At humahaba naman ang usapan namin and that's all thanks to Atlas advice.

I was so happy when my surprise was successful and I got to see Liberty's happy face. I'll live forever just to see that timeless smile she got every time her eyes sparkle with happiness. 

But the world won't let you be happy for too long. 

The moment Liberty turned her back to me as I kneel in front of her, holding the ring I personally picked just for her broke my heart. 'Yung kaba ko bago gawin ang pag-pro-propose sa kaniya ay biglang napalitan ng takot. Takot na baka mali itong ginawa ko, na baka namamadalian siya kaya tinalikuran niya ako at umalis. Takot na baka hindi naman niya talaga ako mahal, kaya hindi siya handang pakasalan ako. Takot na baka ang bata niyang puso, ay takot pa sa ganitong klaseng bagay. At higit sa lahat, takot na mawala siya nang tuluyan sa 'kin. 

And when she said, "Let's break up."

I felt that I was the one who she breaks mercilessly.

Suddenly I remembered what Odette has told me before. I was in her hospital room. Mag-iisang month na rin siyang naka-confine simula noong himatayin siya sa University. At alam ko na rin at ng mga kaibigan namin na may sakit pala siya sa puso. 

"Do you love me?" she asked.

Halos araw-araw niya akong tinatanong niyan at laging iisa lang ang sagot ko sa kaniya.

"Yes," I said wholeheartedly because I really do.

"I know, I just want to remind myself that someone actually loves me. But I know that you love me as a sister and not as a woman, and that's more than I could ask for. I'm happy that in this lifetime someone considered me as their family. I'm happy that I have someone to call a family."

Odette smiled at me sweetly and held my hand. She squeezed it lightly. It pains me to see her lay down in the hospital bed unable to do anything. The world may be cruel to her but she's strong enough to still walk and fight. 

"I know it's selfish on my part but I want a baby, Oliver. Gusto kong may maiwang alaala sa 'king sa mundong ito. I'm not scared to die but I'm scared to be forgotten by the world."

Her voice cracked but she didn't cry. Mas hinigpitan niya pa nag pagkahahawak sa 'king kamay. Malamig nag kaniyan kamay, dumagdag iyon sa kulungkutan na aking nararamdaman. Her hands used to be warm even if it's rough. But now, her hands are so fragile and cold. 

"I'll see what I can do." 

Itinaas ko ang kamay niya at hinalikan iyon. Masuyong ngumiti naman sa 'kin si Odette.

"Don't worry, when I die I'll talk to God to give you a wonderful person that will love you endlessly. I'll tell God to give you someone that will drive you crazy and will bring out all the love in your heart and will do the same for you. I'll surely tell God how amazing you are, so God will bless you." 

Sadness poured into me as I listen to Odette. she was so sure that she'll die soon and I can't even change her mind to fight. Perhaps, she grew tired of fighting. Baka masyado nang malupit ang mundo sa kaniya kaya ayaw na niyang lumaban. I can't force her to live even if I want to. All I could do is convince her but her mind is already set. I regretted that I didn't try hard enough to convince her. 

Kaya nang makipaghiwalay si Liberty sa 'kin humingi ako ng pangalawang pagkakataon. Ayokong maulit muli ang pagkakamali ko kay Odette kaya siya nawala sa 'kin. I don't want history to repeat itself just because I didn't try enough. Ayokong ipilit kay Liberty ang nararamdaman ko kaya kung ayaw niya akong pakasalan, okay lang sa 'kin. As long as she'll give me another chance to be with her again. That's enough for me.

I do believe that Liberty loves me even though she didn't say it directly. I can feel it and I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. But when I saw her with Froy at their engagement party, it was like reality slapped me hard in the face. It was like the world mocked me. Fool, do you really think she loves you? You're old and not suitable for her. Do you really think Liberty will settle for an old man? With those thoughts, I turned my back at them and leave the hall.

I can't stay there and look at Liberty and Froy together as they announce their engagement. I know that it will hurt me if I come here, but I'm a fool for thinking that I could still do something. I forgot that maybe Liberty likes Froy. That's why they are engaged. I really can't do anything if her heart belongs to somebody else now. Even if it hurts, I'll need to accept it.

Ang sakit lang isipin na sinabi ko namang kaya namin 'tong gawan ng paraan, but I guess she doesn't trust me. I got a hunch na baka may problema lang siya o baka may problema 'yung relasyon namin and I'm willing to do anything just to fix it.

Masakit...sobrang sakit.

I begged her to stay and give me another chance. After begging, my heart broke more when I saw the invitation. It broke me so much that I felt the world on my shoulder. Pwede naman niyang sabihin sa 'king may iba na pala siyang gusto. But all she said that it was her fucking mercy for me. I don't need that. I need her love...I need her.

"What's this, Dad? B-Bakit ganito?" Olivia's lips trembled as she spoke.

"I'm sorry, Anak. I'm so sorry for not telling you."

I wholeheartedly regretted not being honest with my daughter. She's my family and she doesn't deserve the betrayal she received from us. 

"Are you really sorry? Or you are just sorry because I caught the both of you? You see, Dad. I'm not an idiot. Matagal ko na namang napapansing may kakaiba sa tinginan niyong dalawa. But I choose to ignore that because I trusted both of you with all my heart. I fucking trusted you, Dad, because I know how honorable you are as a man—as a father, but I guess you just proved it wrong."

A tear escaped from Olivia's eyes. She wiped it violently and gritted her teeth and clench her fist. My daughter slowly let go of her fisted hands. The fury in her eyes vanished and was replaced by disappointment and sadness. Ngayon hindi ko alam kung mas maganda bang galit ang nakikita ko roon o itong bigo at malungkot niyang mga mata. Kahit ano pa man sa mga 'yon ay hindi ko gustong makita sa kaniyang mga mata.

"I'm sorry for being dishonest to you. I'm sorry for not introducing you to the woman I love deeply. I'm sorry if I made you feel betrayed and hurt. I'm sorry for acting selfishly and for causing all of this shit. I-I'm sorry for everything."

"B-bakit si Liberty pa, Dad? Ang dami namang ibang babae diyan! Bakit 'yung... Bakit 'yung best friend ko pa? Didn't you respected, Mom? Didn't you love her? Hindi lang ako trinaydor mo, Dad, pati si Mom!" 

My daughter's words were like knives stabbed in my heart, and all I can do is take all the pain. 

"I did love your mother dearly but we are not what you think, Anak. I-I'm sorry for not telling you about our real relationship. I thought it will do you good. A-ayokong malaman mong hindi talaga kami katulad ng iniisip mo. Na wala ka na ngang kinagisnang ina, hindi pa magkarelasyon ang magulang mo."

My heart cracked a little more when I saw how Oliva's tears fell down like a waterfall. She covered her mouth using her trembling hands. I stepped forward and tried to reach her for a hug but she just pushed my hands away.

"D-Don't go near me! Kung hindi kayo ni M-Mama magkarelasyon e 'di a-ano mo siya? F-Fuck buddy?!"

Agad akong umiling dahil sa kaniyang sinabi, "No, I was her best friend. Odette asked me to have a child with her before she leaves the world. She said she wanted people to remember that she existed through you, Olvia. I truly loved your mother but as a family. I loved her as a sister. You see, Anak, Liberty was the only woman I loved romantically. I'm sorry if my love made you suffer. I'm sorry if it pains you deeply. I hope one day you could forgive us—no, kahit hindi na 'ko. Kahit si Liberty na lang. I know this is so selfish but I want the one I loved to get along."

Mas lalong lumakas ang pag-iyak ng aking anak. Kaya sinubukan kong muling lumapit para bigyan siya ng yakap, at sa pagkakataong ito hindi na siya ako itinulak palayo. Habang umiiyak siya sa 'king bisig ay paulit-ulit akong humingi ng tawad. Maya-maya ay unti-unti si Olivia na lumayo sa 'kin. Nagtama ang mga mata naming puno ng kalungkutan. 

"I won't be going home for a while. I-I still can't face you or even L-Liberty." ayon lamang ang sinabi niya at tinalikuran na ko. I guess I really need to give my daughter time.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko nang malaman kong buntis siya at nasa ganoong kalagayan. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko para mabawasan ang bigat na nakapatong sa kaniya. Galit sa 'min si Olivia, ang aking anak. Alam ko nang mangyayari 'yon at handa naman akong harapin at ipaintindi sa kaniya ang relasyon namin ni Liberty. But now that Liberty's pregnant, it won't be pretty, because from the start I already knew that it will be a hard path. Regardless, I'm ready to walk on that path just to be with Liberty.

Above all the chaos inside me, happiness sprout inside my heart. I couldn't be happier than to become a dad for the second time. I felt like even with all this darkness trying to swallow my life, the light is fighting back to light up the way for me. Right now I felt like my world is experiencing an eclipse and it was so beautiful.

I walked towards Liberty when she fell asleep again. Olivia walked out when she heard that Liberty is pregnant and I can't blame her for reacting that way. Alam kong masakit ito sa kaniyang parte at hindi niya ito matatnggap agad. Kung kanina ngang patungkol lang sa relasyon namin ang pinag-uusapan ay nahihirapan na siyang tanggapin, ano pa kaya ngayong nalaman niyang magkakaroon siya ng kapatid? She may not be able to forgive us, but I know my daughter well. She loves deeply. She's forgiving. I just need to reach her and talk to her sincerely. 

Liberty's mom slapped me hard and I deserved that. I'm the father and Liberty and my child is my responsibility but I failed to protect them. Umabot pa sa puntong dinugo si Liberty at muntik mawala ang anak namin. I fucking deserved that slap. Oo, nga naman. Kaming dalawa ang gumawa nito, we should have anticipated this to happen. Pero aging irresponsible ako kaya kasalanan ko 'to. Kaya lumuhod ako agad at humingi ng tawad kahit alam kong hindi ito sapat na kabayaran sa 'king kasalanan. I may regret and apologize but I will never feel sorry for loving Liberty and having a child with her.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Liberty at binalot ko iyon ng dalawa kong kamay. Mahimbing na siyang natutulog muli. Mahapdi at mabigat ang aking mga mata  pero hindi ko magawang umuwi. I can't leave Liberty again at baka may masamang mangyari, hindi ko na kakayanin 'yon. 

"I still don't trust you." malamig na sabi sa 'kin ni Emily Rights.

"I know and I understand. I can't promise you anything but I can show you my love for your daughter and my compassion for her."

Nagulat ako nang bigla na lamang siyang tumawa nang walang kasiyahan.

"Mr. Valez, the fuck I care about your shitty love? Do you think all the love in this world is pure? What I want is for my daughter to live peacefully and comfortably like how she deserves. If your love will lead her to a thorny path then you can have all your love to yourself. "

I stared at her eyes sincerely and I said with all seriousness, "Then I'll remove all the thorn, Ma'am."

"Let's see."

Araw-araw kong binisita si Liberty sa hospital at sa mga panahong iyon ay hindi nagbago ang trato sa 'kin ni Ma'am Emily. Ako rin nag nag-handle ng restaurant ni Liberty habang naka-confine pa siya nang hindi niya alam. Ang alam niya ay ang mama niya ang umaasikaso pero lingid sa kaniyang kaalaman na ipinasa ito sa 'kin. Inayos ko rin ang iilang balita patungkol sa nangyari sa party. Fortunately, walang lumabas na balita about sa nangyari kay Liberty at sa anak ko. Ang alam lang ng lahat ay ang pagiging runaway fiancé niya at ang pagkaka-hospital niya. Nagalit ako kay London Kings dahil iyon ang ginawa niyang panakip sa nangyari. Ginawa ko naman ang aking makakaya para patayin agad ang balitang 'yon. Binayaran ko halos lahat ng publishing company at iilang news site para burahin ang balita.

I was also worried about my daughter, kahit sinabi niyang hindi siya uuwi ay hindi naman niya pinaalam kung saan siya tutuloy. That's why I also searched for her with the whole Valez clan. Mabuti na lamang at wala pang magdadalawang lingo ay nalaman naming nasa Batangas ito at kasama ang kaibigang si Ms. Donovan.

Gabi-gabi akong umuuwi sa resthouse na tinutuluyan nila Liberty. Pumayag naman ang mama niya doon, ngutin may kasunduan kaming hindi ako pwedeng makita ng kaniyang anak hangat hindi pa maayos ang lahat. It was tiring but worth it. 

Nagpa-schedule ako para maka-meeting si Mr Kings na agad namang pinaunlakan nito, kaya ngayon ay papunta ako sa kaniyang opisina. Kinakabahan ako at hindi ko maitatanggi iyon. Ito ang unang beses kong makahaharap ang tatay ng babaeng mahal ko, at sa hindi pa magandang pagkakataon. 

"Good morning, Mr. Valez. It's nice you meet you. Mr. Kings is already waiting for you inside."

I greeted the secretary and entered Mr. Kings's office. London Kings instantly stood up and greeted me in a formal way. Well, I didn't expect this. Akala ko ay magiging distant siya sa 'kin at magiging masungit like what Emily Rights did. After exchanging formal greetings, we settled in our sits and started the agenda for today's meeting, na ako lang naman ang nakaalam. 

"It's good to see you, Mr. Valez. I'm delighted that you are here." 

"I'm pleased that you took into consideration my request to meet with you in person."

Tumikhim ako at inayos ang aking necktie, at mas lalong pina-seryoso ang expression ng mukha. Ituniwid ko rin ang aking likod habang naka-upo bago simulan ang mga gustong sabihin, pero naunahan ako ni London Kings magsalita. 

"On behalf of Liberty Kings, I apologize for what happened. I know what she did bring humiliation and disgraced the Valez name."

O... That's why he's courteous to me. He thought that I'm here because Liberty put dirt on our family's name. I also noticed that London Kings didn't address Liberty as his daughter. I could feel my blood started boiling slowly but hotter. I clenched my jaw and that didn't go unnoticed by the person in front of me. I saw a hint of panic in his eyes when he saw it.

"Take the news with a grain of salt; fear Valez did not harbor a grudge against what happened."

I saw how relief washed over his face and he suddenly smiled at me, like we are buddies. I don't like him. I got a hint that he never acted as a good father to Liberty, but even how I distaste him, I still should respect him as Liberty's father. 

"That's not what I'm here for, Mr. Kings. Please, be kind enough to bestow me with your daughter's hands. That's my pledge to you, I'll take care of your daughter till the end of time. Just give us your blessing." I sincerely said as I looked at London Kings's eyes.

"What?! Are you serious? The entire thing was despicable, all of it — every single piece of it was vile!"

"How does loving your daughter become shameful? She is one in a million."

"I don't care if you find her wonderful and harmful or whatsoever! Aren't you ashamed that Liberty is supposed to be wed to your nephew? Then suddenly people will know that she is going to marry you instead. Tell me which part of this is not shameful?" 

London Kings spat those words like poison in my face. Like the idea of marrying his daughter is a crime I must not do. 

"I think it's much shameful if we care more about what people think than your daughter's happiness." I stood up. Mr. London Kings's face is in pure dismay and when I stood up, he looked at me while still sitting. "It's going to take some time to process your full objection, but on reflection, I think I have posed a point that is definitely worth pursuing. I'm not asking now instead, I'm informing you that I'll be your son-in-law soon. Have a good day, Sir."

I started walking towards the door before I can fully exit the room, Mr. Kings talked again. 

"I don't care anymore. Liberty isn't my daughter anymore. Do whatever your want just don't drag my name to it."

I closed the door with a heavy heart. Not just because London Kings didn't like the idea, but for the season that he doesn't treat, nor even acknowledge my Liberty as his daughter. My mood changed quickly: I was both furious and sad, but I can take comfort in the fact that we're free now. People around us may not be able to accept our relationship quickly, but sooner or later they'll get used to it. They may throw hurtful words and protest, but the only acceptance that we need is from our family.  It's not like we need other's acceptance anyway.  If we depend on other's opinions and approval, then that's a life wasted. We are the boss of our life. 

Nakahihiya mang isipin na ipinalandakan kong ikakasal na kami ni Liberty, kahit na hindi pa naman. I could still remember the day she rejected my proposal. I still have those what-ifs in my mind but In light of what's transpired, I'm better off if things go the way they have so far. After telling Ms. Emily Rights about what happened, then she simply started laughing, in the process rolling her eyes in the face of the firmament.

I was so happy when Liberty finally said yes to me. I'm ecstatic and blissful. I feel like the light has finally directed its light to us like life gave us its blessing. I couldn't be happier. 

"I want to name our baby Gordon." 

Liberty said as she munches a carrot strip dipped in sour cream. We are still at the rest house and we are currently watching Gordon Ramsay grill some chefs. Liberty is leaning on my chest as I rub her tummy that has a baby bump now. She looks glorious with it. Lumingon siya sa 'kin habang ngumunguya pa rin.

"What do you think?"

I kissed her lips first before answering her, "Whatever you like, Kitten."

"If our baby is a boy, I like to name him Gordon." Liberty chuckled and continued, "And if our baby is a girl then I like to name her sovereignty."

Kumunot naman ang noo ko dahil sa pagtataka, "Sovereignty?"

"Yes, because I want our child to have the authority to make decisions on her laws in her life. Ayoko kong matulad siya sa 'king naging alipin sa mga kakulangan ko."

I hug her tightly and kissed her forehead. That was a wonderful name indeed. This is one of the things that I fell in love with. At first, I thought, it was just all lust. That the forbidden fruit is the sweetest. That's why I dared kahit alam kong mali, but as time goes by I saw how wonderful she is. How lovable Liberty Kings is. 

"You can name our child anything you want, Kitten."

Liberty hooked her arm on my neck and motioned a carrot strip in front of my mouth. I ate it without a second thought and she smiled, feeling satisfied that I ate what she's craving. 

"Hmm, I think a Filipino name is also good like Kalayaan or Malaya. Oh! That's so brilliant of me. It's also unisex! Hindi ako magpa-u-ultrasound for the gender para surprise na lang." She then laugh her head off.

I laugh with her. Damn, that was a cute idea and if she wants that, then I'll let her do it. A little surprise won't hurt, right?

~END~

No more TBC for Liberty and Oliver! I'm going to miss these two so bad. Don't worry I'll be posting a special chapter when SA#1 reaches 100k reads. Well, it's not bad to dream right?

Anyway, I just got really busy with my acads, tatlo na kasi accounting subjs ko ngayon plus feeling major na minors. AHAHAHHAHA Regarding SA#2 (Olivia's and Atlas's story) I will start it this April. Tho I don't have an exact date but I would advise you guys to add it to your library already and archive this one, para pag nag post ako ng special chap ma-no-notify agad kayo. 

A little back story about the Scandalous Affair Series. This series is actually special for me not because this is my first erotic series (Well, isa na ring reason 'yon) but this is really related to me. Hep—it's not what you guys are thinking! I actually started writing this one when I was 15—almost 16, but don't get me wrong! It was not erotic back then. I planned it to be in the romance genre. I was facing a family problem back then and It left me a big scar. I believed that our family is perfect honestly. We may not be well-off but we are family-oriented and having that kind of family problem affected me big time. Let me clear one thing, hindi kami same ng family problem ni Liberty, okay? What happened to me was like an eye-opener and I used writing as an escape from the pain.

So ayon, when I was in grade 10 I finished writing the prologue but it was way different. Ang original plot nito talaga ay affair sa boyfriend ng best friend, and I got that idea sa isang kakilala. But when the school year is about to end, nagsimula akong mag-joke about sa paghahanap ng sugar daddy dahil nahihirapan ako sa mga requirements namin. HAHAHHAHAHA. That's where I got the idea of changing the guy to someone much older. As I change the male leads age, I also started revising the prologue. Natapos ko 'yung prologue when I was already in grade 11 and left it on my drafts. Then quarantine happened and made me so bored that I published SA#1 without even thinking! And I did not regret that I published it. I got to share my story and entertained you along with it.

I wrote this series because I know how families affect their child's life and especially in decision-making. While facing these sorts of challenges, and maybe deviating from the direction that we must follow as a result of them, we are nevertheless capable of doing the right for ourselves. 

I want to express my gratitude to everybody who has helped along the way with SA#1. I hope the tale ends well! A great deal of credit goes to you guys, for trusting in me and being able to have time to read it. In thanks for your kind and patient support, I would like to give you an innovative phrase: "You are stronger than you think."

See you in SA#2! Feel free to share your thoughts and stay safe.

Love lots :>>