L I B E R T Y   K I N G S

My mind is clouded with unwanted thoughts making my heart throb in a painful way. I don't like feeling like this. I don't like it but I can't help it. All I see is green. A fucking green monster is starting to growl inside me. Waves of uncontrollable anger and rage rock my whole being. My breath fastens and I gritted my teeth trying to avoid spatting some poisonous words.

I know her. It's a basic thing to know who is your best friend's mother. To know who is the first woman your man has loved. It is a fucking basic thing but why does it hurt like it was creating a hole in my chest?

I didn't notice that I was dazed, lost in my stupid fucking thoughts, not until Oliver's big calloused hand lifts my chin. Oliver caught my chin and raised his face to meet mine. His gorgeous onyx eyes look at me deeply like he was seeing my soul through my eyes. For a second, I totally forgot all the things I was thinking and I'm stuck looking at his hypnotizing eyes. 

"What are you thinking Kitten?" his voice was low and careful.

Iniwas ko ang aking paningin sa kaniya, tinitigan ko ang tortang talong na nasa aking gilid na para bang ito ang pinakaimportanteng bagay sa mundo. 

"Hey, look at me." I refuse to look at him because I know that I can't hide my feelings to him.

I'm too soft when it comes to him and I don't know if that's a good thing. 

I heard Oliver sigh. Napatingin ako sa kaniya nang tanggalin n'ya ang kamay n'yang nasa baba ko kanina. I was instantly scared the moment he let go of my chin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero agad akong nakaramdam ng takot. Takot na kaya n'ya kong bitawan agad. 

My eyes are probably showing my fears right now and I don't care. Alam kong malaki ang agwat namin sa edad and he's more mature than I am. I'm scared that he'll found my jealousy immature at baka magsisi siya sa 'kin. I don't want that. Naiiyak na agad ako habang iniisip pa lang 'yon paano na kaya kung gawin n'ya agad.

With my trembling hands, I held his. Nakita ko agad ang panlalaki ng mata n'ya sa gulat nang makita ang reaksyon ko.

"I'm sorry," I said with a trembling voice.

"Kitten, why are you sorry?" he said softly.

I bit my lips and look at him, tears about to fall down. I saw him panic when he saw my watery eyes. 

"I-I'm sorry if... I act so immaturely. I know that your w-wife is already dead but thinking that she was the m-mother of your child makes me damn jealous." My tears fell down miserably as I've said those words.

I don't know what has gotten into me. I don't know why I'm being emotional about it. I know I'm jealous as fuck but I didn't expect that I would cry.

I was surprised when Oliver kissed me softly. His lips leave mine then it went to my wet cheeks and kissed it, wiping my tears using his lips.

"I'm sorry, It wasn't my intention to make you upset. I just want to be honest with you," he said, lips still on my cheeks. 

"Hmm," I just hum as I sob silently while he's brushing his lips to my skin. His hand went my neck and to my waist.

He moves an inch away from me so he can look me in the eye. "I know that I've never talked about Odette but what your thinking is wrong."

"Odette wasn't my wife," I gasped from the revelation he had said. 

I didn't expect that Odette was not his wife—but she's Olivia's mom, right? Or not?

Oliver must have seen the confusion in my eyes, "She's my best friend." 

"No way!" That was a dump reaction but heck! His best friend that he got pregnant?!

"And you got her pregnant?!" dugtong ko pa.

"Yeah," Suminghap siya na para bang nahihirapan siyang pag-usapan ito.

Of course, It's hard ina ng anak n'ya ang aming pinag-uusapan. Hindi lang ito kung sino lang!

He rubs his thumb on my jaw then he said, "She's like a sister to me." I can see the despair in his eyes as he said that. 

I didn't say anything. I was just looking at him intently. I can feel that he just needs someone who can listen to him that's why I keep my mouth shut, kahit na ang dami kong gustong itanong sa kanya. 

"Odette's my best friend since high school. She was a scholar in our university. We're not really close but one day I saw her getting beaten up by her father. Of course, I would help her and I was surprised when she told me that her father wants her to work." I saw how Oliver's knuckles turn white as he fists his left hand.

"Imagine a fifteen years old girl getting beaten up and was ordered to work for her own needs. I didn't know na may mga magulang palang gano'n. I never experience that since I was born with money and privileges." 

I close his eyes tightly and continued, "She's an eye-opener. Simula no'n I would always ask if she's okay. I would buy her lunch or even provide for her projects. She never asked me anything. Nahihiya pa nga siya minsang tanggapin ang mga ibinibigay ko. She has a kind heart and I hated how cruel the world to her. She doesn't deserve it."

My heart is throbbing in pain—not from jealousy— but for Odette. Now I felt stupid for getting jealous of her. Mas malala pa pala ang mga naranasan nito habang nabubuhay kesa sa 'kin. Now I know why God gave her Oliver. She needs Oliver. 

Pinakawalan ni Oliver sa pagkakuyom ang kaniyang kamay ay hinaplos ang aking buhok nang makita n'ya lumuluha ako. Ang sakit, ako'y nasasaktan para kay Odette.

"Her father was so cruel to her and I thought that was the only thing she's shouldering. But fuck, there's much worst than that. We were having P.E. when she suddenly collapsed. That was the day that I discovered that she has Congenital heart disease." His hands stop caressing my hair.

He looked at me with tears about to fall down. "I got protective of her like she was my sister. I told her if her parents don't treat her like a family, I will." 

Sorrow tighten his throat, "I asked her if she has medicine, she said yes. That was a lie. It was in our last year in college when she got hospitalized again. That was the day she cried and confessed that she's not taking her meds for a year. I was damn mad at her. B-Bakit hindi n'ya sinabi sa 'kin? I felt like I was l-losing my sister and I can't do anything."

I cried with Oliver as he keeps on telling me things that he's keeping inside him for God damn knows when.

"I can ask my parents and maybe they would understand but Odette doesn't want to fight for her life." Mas lalong sumakit ang puso ko nang makita kong humagulgol si Oliver. I can't stand seeing him this sad. It breaks my heart.

I hug him and he clung to me like his life depends on me. " I-I can't convince her. Sarado na ang puso't isipan n'ya and the only thing I can do for her is to fulfill her last wish." 

"That was to have Olivia. She wants to leave something in the world before she dies." Mas lalong humigpit ang pagkakapit n'ya sa 'kin. 

"I can't have sex with her. I see her as my sister but she really wants to have a child. Ayaw raw n'yang makalimutan siya ng lahat pag namatay siya." I keep on rubbing his back wishing that it will make him feel a little better.

"Odette's really eager to have a child. Having sex with me would probably kill her before she gives birth. Then I did some research, I discovered that there is a way to get pregnant without having sex. She agreed to do an Intracytoplasmic sperm injection. Of course, we used my sperm and I'm happy that I made her happy."

The darkness can't hide Oliver's sorrowful eyes as he looked at me, tears dried on his cheeks. "I have the money so it wasn't a problem for me. My parents got angry but I didn't care."

"The doctor said na hindi raw sigurado kung aabutin pa si Odette hangang manganak siya but a miracle does happen sometimes. She gave birth to Olivia successfully. I thought that maybe I could convince finally convince her to fight for her life, but seconds after she got Olivia in her arms. She stops breathing." 

I could imagine Oliver's devastated face while crying with Olivia in his arms. My heart crumbles from what I have pictured in my head. Oliver is really a kind man. He loves deeply for his family. He has a beautiful,  Odette and Olivia are both lucky to have Oliver in their lives. And I'm blessed to be able to love such an amazing man like him.

I could imagine all the struggles Oliver faced at that time. His best friend that he treated as a sister died. His daughter in his arms left without a mother. His parents mad at him for what he had done. He was alone facing all of those problems but Oliver still managed to raise Olivia well.

A tear escaped his eyes again. I wiped it using my thumb. "You're an amazing man Oliver. Odette probably knows that. I'm sure that's the reason why she decided to have a child with you." 

"Odette trusted you so much and you didn't fail her."  I smiled at him warmly and this time, I was the one who kissed his tears away.

Our day ended well. After our talk, I can see that Oliver's mood is lighter now. Para bang nawalan siya ng mabigat na dinadala. Siguro ay talagang kinimkim n'ya lahat ng sakit at pagsisisi sa sarili n'ya. He probably forgot to ask for help when he was in his darkest days and that's sad. No one should be left behind. It's okay to ask for help. We shouldn't be bottling everything up to ourselves.

Gumising ako nang magaan ang loob. Feeling ko ay mas napalapit ako kay Oliver pagkatapos ng usapang 'yon. He share his soul and I love it. I just love him more. I realized that if Oliver can surpass his dark days. I can too. Anyone can! We just really need to believe in ourselves.

fuzzy feeling welled up in my heart and a small smile made its way to my lips. I heard Channel barked kaya inabot ko siya at niyakap. 

"Good morning Channel!" masaya kong bati sa aso.

Dinilaan naman ako nito sa pisngi kaya napahagikgik ako. My stomach suddenly grumbles and pancakes with peanuts suddenly appeared on my mind. God, I want that! 

Napagdesisyunan kong pumunta sa condominium ko ngayon. Atlas told me na patamos na raw ito at maybe a week or two ay pwede na akong lumipat do'n. Kahit na iinis akong makita ang pagmumukha ni Atlas ay kailangan kong tignan 'yon. I was about to go down for breafast when my phone rang.

It's an unregistered number that's why I was hesitant to answer it but maybe it's business so I accepted the call.

I was surprised when I heard Froy's voice on the other line. 

"Good morning Liberty. Are you free later?"

I don't know where he got my number but that's not the issue here.

"Hey, good morning Froy...I-I'm free for lunch later." My voice shook a little.

I suddenly remember that I have this big unsolve problem! Fuck! 

"Good, let's meet later and talk about our engagement." I can hear that he's happy about it.

"Aren't we moving a little too fast?" Pahina nang pahina ang boses ko habang sinasabi 'yon.

I don't want to offend him. Malalagot ako sa 'king ama kung sakali, isa pa Froy is a good man. He doesn't deserve rude treatment.

"O, you want us to be in knowing each other stage?" he asked me.

"Y-yes," I said nervously.

"We can do that while the preparation of our wedding is on going, right?"  I can hear hope in his voice and I'm afraid to break it.

I sigh and said, "r-right."

"Good, I'll fetch you later." He dropped the call after I agreed with him. 

Damn this life. I don't know what to do! Hindi ako makahingi ng tulong kahit kanino dahil ang namamagitan sa 'min ni Oliver ay isang sikreto. Hindi ko rin masabi kay Oliver dahil ayaw ko siyang saktan and I'm afraid that he'll leave me. 

What should I do now?

~TBC~

Update! Now, your questions about Odette is answered. 

All Scandalous Affair girls are introduced here, I forgot to tell you guys. I hope that you'll keep on supporting me all the way.

Feel free to share your thoughts and keep safe everyone.

Love lots :>>