L I B E R T Y   K I N G S

The buzzing noise of the people inside the Italian restaurant that I'm in right now keeps on ringing in my ears, together with the clacking of plates and utensils. I shut my eyes slightly for a second and breathe calmly. As I open my eyes, it focuses on the plate in front of me. The flavourous fragrant of the golden pasta with glistening snow-like cheese on the top of it caught my attention. The lavishing look of my  Cacio e Pepe made me forget my problem for a second.

"Looks like you liked the food I ordered for you." Froy has this satisfied face as he looks at me, looking at the pasta that has been served to me. 

That satisfied face does resemble Oliver's face when we just finished the deed. God, I'm with Froy but my mind is with Oliver—it always has been. 

"Yeah, I like this one in particular." I look at him as he bobbed his head.

The tempting smell of Cacio e Pepe keeps on distracting me from looking at Froy like it was screaming 'Eat me!'. This Italian pasta was made with aged Pecorino Romano cheese, salt, and lots of ground black pepper which used to be a favorite of Roman shepherds'. 

"Let's eat and enjoy the food, Liberty." Froy gestured the food in front asking me to dig in and start eating.

I honestly want to ask things first before eating but I think it's a good idea to eat first. Nang malaman ko pa lang na si Froy pala ang fiancé ko, ay parang nanghina na ang aking buong katawan isama pa natin ang pagkatao ko. Kailangan ko nga siguro muna ng lakas para sa mga katanungang gusto kong masagot n'ya. 

I was enjoying the food—I can't say that I'm enjoying Froy's presence—when he suddenly opened a topic for us to talk. 

"I actually didn't know that you are Mr. Kings daughter," seryosong sabi ni Froy pagkatapos punasan ang labi n'ya.

"Me too," I murmured.

"Come again?" agad ko namang nakita ang pagtataka sa mukha n'ya.

Umiling nalamang ako habang may kaunting ngiti sa labi. Pinunasan ko muna ng gilid ng aking labi bago siya tinignan sa mata at sinagot. "Yeah, uh—we are working on different industry so wala talagang nakakaalam." 

"I was surprised, I thought Felix and Fend were his only children." 

I wanted to say 'ouch' because that is literally what my heart said when it heard what Froy said. Mukha namang hindi sinasadya ni Froy na makasakit nang sabihin n'ya ang mga salitang iyon. I guess that would anyone will say if they knew that I'm London Kings daughter. Me being his daughter is already buried in the abyss of history. My mom and I are already history for him— too taboo to talk about—that's where we stand in his life. 

"That's what everyone knows," I smiled bitterly at him and continued eating.

The deafening silence stayed long while we were eating and when the dessert was served, we once again talked. I inhale deeply before slowly exhaling. I really need to breathe first before going down to business—Yes, this is business for me.

"So..." I hesitantly look at him, expecting him to alk first.

"We didn't actually talk about the details of this engagement," Froy said and cocked his head sidewards like he was trying to get a better look at me.

I bit my inner cheek as his caramel warm eyes settled on me, "Why?" Nilakasan ko na lamang ang loob ko para sumagot. Natatakot talaga akong marinig ang mga sasabihin n'ya, natatakot ako sa engagement na ito. 

"Valez men don't like engagement but we are considering it when your father asked me about this engagement, I told him that I want to meet his daughter first." he shrugged his shoulders after saying it.

So he was just taking this into consideration, hindi pa naman pala siya talaga pumapayag talaga. Suddenly the big lump on my throat is gone and I can now freely breathe nang marinig kong sabihin n'ya iyon. Pwede ko naman palang sabihin sa kaniya na h'wag na lang tutal hindi naman nila tradition ang ganitong bagay. 

Ibubuka ko na sana ang aking labi para magsalita nang maunahan ako ni Froy, "but now it's you, things are different now" his eyes lits up while saying that.

"B-but don't you want to explore your bachelorhood?" Nauutal kong pag-co-convince sa kaniya.

His brows knitted, "why not explore life together right?" I took in a deep breath when I heard his response.

Damn, mahihirapan ata akong lusutan ang problemang ito. Hindi naman pwede ako ang umayaw, dahil kahit sabihin ko sa tatay ko 'yon ay hindi naman n'ya papansinin. I certantly can't say that I already have a boyfriend, malamang ay paghihiwalayin n'ya kami o hindi kaya ay masisiwalat sa lahat na si Oliver ang boyfriend ko. 

Para akong nawalan ng lakas nang matapos ang lunch na 'yon. Hindi ko na convince si Froy na humindi pero hindi rin naman n'ya sinabi kung payag siya. I'm eighty-five percent sure that he'll agree based on how our conversation went. 

Nandito ako ngayon sa lobby ng hotel kung nasaan ang restaurant na pinagkainan namin. He offered to take me home but I told him that I need time to think alone and he respected my decision.  He kissed my cheeks goodbye. Napabuntong hininga naman ako at lupaypay na umupo sa magarbong kulay gintong upuan na nasa lobby. 

Gusto kong kumain ng spicy peanut para mawala ang stress na nararamdaman ko ngayong araw. Pumunta kaya ako sa condo ngayon? Kaso iniisip ko pa lang na makikita ko ang panget na mukha ni Atlas ay mas lalong sumasama ang pakiramdam ko. Nandoon ngayon si Atlas dahil malapit na raw ito matapos mas gusto n'yang maging mas hands-on para mapadali na. Tatayo na sana ako para makaalis na sa hotel na ito nang makita ko si Felix napapasok.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita na may ka-holding hands itong lalaki. Sa pagkakataranta ay nahablot ko at news paper sa rack na dapat ay kukunin ng aking katabi. Ipinangtakip ko ito sa mukha ko, unti-unti kong ibinaba nag news paper 'yung sakto lang para makita nag aking mata.

Nakatalikod na silang dalawa ngayon sa'kin at nakaharap sa lobby desk. Binitawan na ng lalaki ang kamay ni Felix at ngayon naman ay inakbayan siya. Nakita ko naman kung paano gumapang ang kamay ni Felix sa pang-upo ng kasama n'ya at marahang pinisil ito. Napasinghap ako nang makita ng ginawa n'ya iyon at nagtawanan pa talaga silang dalawa. In fairness naman din talaga dahil matambok ang pang-upo ng kasama n'ya kaya hindi ko masisisi kung manggigil si Felix. 

Pero bakit nandito ang dalawang ito? Tinignan ko ang wrist watch ko at nakitang kakalagpas lang sa ala una nang ilang minuto. Mga estudyante pa ang mga ito, a? Dapat ay nasa school pa sila at nag-aaral. Kahit na sabihing college na si Felix at dapat hindi siya nag-cu-cutting!

Hindi lang ito ang issue dito! Kung sa 'kin lang ay walang kaso kung anong preference ni Felix sa partner n'ya. Tao lang din siya katulad ko, may sariling opinion, preference, at damdamin. He has the right to choose and feel whatever he wants as long as he's happy and loved. But I don't think our father would understand. Heck! He's the biggest sexist I know in my entire life. London Kings is a sexist.

Hindi nga n'ya ko matanggap na panganay n'ya dahil sa babae ako diba? Paano pa kaya kung malaman ni London Kings na ang ipinagmamalaki n'yang anak na panganay ay hindi pala katulad ng inaasahan n'ya? I'm afraid for my brother. He does not deserve the narrowness of our father's mind. His ruthlessness will surely break Felix into pieces.

I saw how Felix Kings fluttered his lashes to—this man does not look like a teen. I need to know who is this man because I'm sure that they are not just friends. If our father knows this, Felix is dead. 

Nanginginig pa nag kamay ko habang inilalabas ang cellphone sa bag ko. Lalo akong nataranta nang makitang papaalis na sila sa front desk at mukhang papunta na sa elevator. Nang mailabas ko ang cellphone ko ay agad kong itinutok ito sa dalawa at kinuhanan sila ng picture. I'll send this later to Olivia, siya lang ang kakilala kong may alam kung papaano makakakuha ng mga information. 

After nilang mawala sa paningin ko ay agad akong umalis sa gusaling 'yon. Parang biglang nag-init ang aking katawan ng lubayan ng kaba at pagkabigla ito. Napasandal na lamang ako sa backrest ng taxi na aking sinasakyan papunta sa retaurant ko. My days isn't running in whole but the half of it is already too much to take. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kakausapin si Felix. Kung ako lang naman ang tatanungin ay wala talagang problema sa 'kin kaso isa siyang Kings. Ang tatay namin ay isang ruthless Kings. Okay lang sana ang makakaranas ng kalupitan n'ya, e pero hindi ko paatim na pati ang mga kapatid ko ay makakaranas nito.

Fuck this world. Bakit ba kasi may mga taong hindi parunong tumanggap at rumespeto sa iba? Hindi naman nila ikakasama kung hahayaan nilang sumaya ang ibang tao sa paraang gusto nila. That's their life. Let them live their lives with happiness and love. 

I scowled at the window. All of this thinking makes me want to eat spicy peanuts and Oliver! Damn, I need Oliver. 

~TBC~

Sorry alam kong super-duper late ang update ko. More than two weeks kasi ang naging midterms namin, e. Sana ay maintindihan n'yo ko, I really need to prioritize my studies.

Don't y'all worry, hindi lang po ito ang update natin ngayong week! I'll be posting another one maybe later or tomorrow. 

Thank's to @missingperson_ for the stunning book cover.

Feel free to share your thoughts and keep safe everyone!

love lots :>>