O L I V I A   V A L E Z

There was an eruption in my head, the great kind, the kind that has more potential than I am aware of, yet there were dozens of thoughts there in that hum of electricity. I could feel it. It was a centerpiece for an epic quest, for avenues that awaited my feet... our feet. O, I couldn't wait for this surprise to happen! 

"Fine, but no boys allowed."

But all of a sudden, there was another eruption in my head, and now it was the terrible kind. Wait, what? Was my dad serious? No boys allowed? I was already an adult, for Pete's sake! What was this all about? He never told me such a thing, even when I was in my teenage years. He never put restrictions on my actions because he trusted me! He trusted me because I was his daughter. This was so shocking for me. I couldn't seem to accept what he said. I was currently a twenty-one-year-old adult, and I would be turning twenty-two in months. 

"Dad, naman! I'm already an adult, for Pete's sake," pag-aapila ko.

He didn't even look at me. All he did was look at Liberty darkly. Why was he looking at her like that? Bakit hindi sa akin? Hindi niya ba mapangatawanan na pinagbabawala niya ako? I knew that my dad had a big soft spot for me. Pinagbabawalan niya ako pero hindi naman siya makatingin sa akin. Kay Liberty niya pa pinapadaan ang matatalim niyang tingin. Nakahihiya tuloy sa best friend ko. My god, Dad!

"Whatever, I said, no boys allowed," Tinalikuran na niya kami agad.

"God! Para naman akong bata nito,"  nakabusangot kong sabi.

Ano bang sumaping masamang spirit kay dad? I couldn't believe him. Hindi ko na naman p'wedeng ipa-cancel 'yung bunny na nakuha ni Prim, and it was already paid! Sayang ang pera namin. Well, my dad woulnd't know about it. Hindi naman pala social media 'yon, kaya kahit mag-post ako or kahit sino sa aming tatlo, ay hindi niya malalaman. We're good. Our surprise welcome party would be good. 

Hindi ko na masyadong inisip ang sinabi ni dad sa amin. I didn't want to ruin my mood. I wouldn't manifest this negative energy starting to build up. Masaya kaming nagkwentuhan ni Librty habang nag-dri-drive ako papunta sa condo ni Prim. Nang bumaba na kami sa sasakyan ay halos tumalon na ang puso ko sa excitement. Medyo pinipigilan ko ang pagngiti nang masyadong malaki, baka kasi makahalata na si Libs.

I fall a step behind, letting Liberty take the lead to Prim's condo. Syempre siya i-su-surpise, e, kaya rapat lang na siya ang mauna. Halos hindi na ako huminga habang pinipihit ni Liberty ang doorknob papasok sa condo. Agad na isang malawak na ngiti ang nabuo sa aking labi, nang makita ko ang pagkatigil niya nang makita nag set up. Of course, ako, si Prim at Beck ang nag-ayos niyan. It should be perfect!

"Okay, what's happening?" litong tanong ni Libs.

Unang pagtapak pa lang niya ay lumabas sa likod ng pintuan si Prim at pinaputok ang party poppers. Na agad naming sinabayan ni Prim ng pagbati sa kaniya.

"Welcome back!" masiyang bati namin ni Prim.

The shock was written all over her face, and tears started forming on the corners of her eyes as she covered her mouth. I was so happy that she appreciated our little welcome back party. Ang saya-saya talaga 'pag may napasasaya kang tao. Iba 'yung feeling na nararamdaman ko sa puso ko. Kung ganito kasaya 'yung feelng na may napasasaya ka. Bakit may mga taong mas pinipiling manakit? Maybe, they are twisted inside. Maybe, they should experience this kind of feeling para malaman nila. 

"Oh, my god!" 'yon na lamang ang na sabi ni Libs dahil sa pagkagulat at saya.

"We know na it's kinda late, but we both decided to throw you a welcome party, that's exclusive only for us," nakangiti kong sabi.

Because I knew, I knew that her family wouldn't even make an effort to throw a welcome party, kahit simple lang, hindi nila maiisip 'yon. Liberty didn't need to worry. Kung hindi nila magawa, kaming kaibigan niya ang gagawa para sa kaniya. Prim and I wanted her to know taht she was alsways welcome to come back here. Na natutuwa kaming umuwi siya rito.

Napagpasyahan na naming simulan na talaga ang welcome party na ito. Habang nagpapalit ng kaniya-kaniyang lingerie, ay hindi namin maiwasang hindi magkulitan. We were teasing and praising each other's body as we change. Niloko rin namin si Prim dahil hindi na ito ngayon nagkulay ng crazy and bold colors sa buhok niya. Damn, this girl, she could rock all the color. I really envied her for that.

I took a full shot, and both of them cheered. I instantly felt the burning sensation of the liquor in my throat. I passed the shot glass to Prim, who looked fucking calm and collected, kahit nakararami na kami ng shot. Napakalakas talaga nito sa inuman. What do I even expect? Laman siya lagi ng party simula palang noong highschool. As Prim took her shot, Liberty and I were dancing like there was no tomorrow. We were playing a party song in Prim's living room. We wanted it to be super loud, but we might get a complaint from Prim's neighbor. We didn't want to ruin the party just because of that. Prim was laughing as she took a video of us like crazy party-goers. 

A loud sound coming from the door interrupted us from dancing. Prim and I passed each other a knowing look. Agad naman naming itinigal 'yon, dahil baka makahalata si Libs. Mabuti na lang at tipsy na ang isang 'yon kaya madali ng lusutan sa pakulo namin. 

"Can you please get the door, Libs?" I said to Libs.

I was smiling too much that Liberty casted me a weird glance. Okay, stop smiling now, Oly.

Parang gusto ko nang gumulong sa sahig at tumawa nang tumawa. Grabe 'yung mukha ni Liberty! Her eyes went literally wide, and her mouth hanged open. When she saw the bunny man that Prim got for her. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang lalaki. He got a fucking hard and well-toned body. And It was damn glistening, parang masisilaw kung titigan mo ang katawan niya. Prim did catch a good bunny, indeed. Muli kaming nagngisian ni Prim nang magsimula na ang lalaking sayawan si Liberty.

Prim and I did a mini cheer as our surprise part was a big success.

I couldn't stop giggling and cheering as I watched the bunny man doing a lap dance on Liberty. I couldn't also remember how many shots I took as time went by. All I knew was the three of us were having a damn great time. Years ago, I was so broken that I couldn't even laugh. And all I could do was fake my smile, so no one would ask me if I was okay. Because I knew fucking well that I would cry my eyes out if someone would ask me that. Na kahit pauli-ulit akong tanungin, ay maulit-ulit lang din akong iiyak.

I hated that.

I hated that I was so broken that even the mask I always wore in public was broken too. Akala ko hindi ko na ulit magagawang tumawa nang ganito kasaya. I remembered what Beck said to me when we were in our session.

"Happiness is a vital component of life formula, so allow it all in. anyone requires it for optimal functioning. If no one is providing you chances to experience it, go out and find it. Give yourself those opportunities. It is necessary to have an intuitive feeling of happiness, an understanding of goodness, and way through love." 

Now, I can understand it better. I kept thinking of the ways I could give myself that opportunity to feel ethereal happiness. How could a broken person seek that? But look at me now; I reached that opportunity. I sought it with my friends. And I couldn't be happier. 

The next thing I knew, my head was pounding real hard again. What did you promise to yourself again, Olivia? Never what? Never to drink again?  I wanted to clap at myself. So much for keeping my promise. Ni hindi man lang tumagal ng ilang araw bago ako nangako, pero eto na naman ako, at may hangover na naman, great! 

Hindi lang ang hangover ang sumira ng araw kong ito. When we got home, isang masamang bagay agad ang nakita ko. Atlas shitass Mate face greeted me when I entered our house. Tangina naman. Ang sama na nga ng pakiramdam ko tapos makikita ko pa siya. Wow, double kill? Tuwang-tuwa ka naman yata world na sirain ang araw ko? P'wede bang isa-isa lang? Hindi agad ako naka-recover sa pagkagugulat, kaya para akong naugatan na nakatayo dito na parang tanga.

"I just visited your father," defensive niyang sabi agad.

Paki ko naman 'di ba? May nagtatanong ba kung bakit siya nandito? Kahit 'yung mayordoma pa namin o 'yung driver ang puntahan niya, wala akong pakielam sa kaniya. I wouldn't be dealing with him right now. Masyadong masakit ang ulo ko para dumagdag pa siya. Kaya naman ay wala sali-salita akong umakyat sa kwarto ko. I knew what I did was rude, but I don't give a damn. 

I think everything drained me. Pagkabagsak ko pa lang sa kama ko ay agad akong nakatulog. Nagising na lang ako nang may kumakatok sa kwarto ko. I lazily opened my door to see Tessa.

"Ma'am, pinapatawag ka po ni Sir sa office niya."

"Okay, tell him that I'll just clean up."

Agad na gumaan ang pakiramdam ko, nang tumama sa aking katawan ang maligamgam na tubig mula sa shower. As I rubbed my sily black hair gently with my shampoo, my mind went back to our unexpected meeting. Iba pa rin talaga. Kahit anong inis at sakit ang ipinaramdam niya sa akin, talagang may epekto siya sa akin. Was that a normal thing? Should I ask Beck? He would understand me, right? 

Salamat na lang din sa hangover, dahil nakayanan kong hindi siya pansinin. Nagwa kong ipalabas na wala na akong paki sa kaniya, kahit deep inside me, my broken bleeding heart felt him again. Kahit wala naman siyang ginawang kakaiba, kahit tumayo lang siya do'n, my heart still felt him. I fucking hate it. 

Nakatatawa lang isipin na tuwing lasing ako, lumalabas sa bibig ko na pinaasa niya ako, were in fact he didn't. He never said things to me na nagpapahayag ng damdamin niya sa akin. It was me who fell for him. Wala naman talaga siyang kasalanan. Pero tama na siguro. Tama na 'yung sakit nanaramdaman ko. Tama na. Lesson learned na rapat. Perhaps, I should open my heart to others. Beck was there, but I didn't wantt to hurt anyone. I knew my heart wasn't ready for it. Kung pipilitin ko ngayon, makasasakit lang ako ng iba. That would make me dirty and shamefull.

Bumuntong hininga na lang ako habang papunta sa office ni dad. Enough thinking too  much, Oly.  I should spare myself from stress. Tahimik ang kwarto ni Liberty ng madaanan ko ito. Siguro nagpapahinga pa rin siya. Nakapapagod naman talaga kasi mag-party, pero nag-enjoy naman kami! Sulit na rin siguro ang pagod at hangover.

"Good eve, Dad." bati ko kay dad pagkapasok ko.

Itinuro niya ang upuan sa harapan niya. Nang makita niya akong naka-upo na, saka siya nag-umpisang magsalita. 

"I'll be away for a week. We have an emergency. I want you to manage the bank while I'm away."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Since I started working at our bank, I have never done his duties. Sinasama niya ako sa meetings at hinihingian ng opinion. This would be the first time I'll be managing our bank. And I'm damn nervous. Our company wasn't a regular corporate. It was a bank. A fucking bank. If I made one fucking mistake, it would affect many lives and the country's economy. 

This job doesn't have room for mistakes and poor decision-making.

"But I don't think I have enough skills and experience to manage it, Dad."

"That's why you are managing it for a week, so you have the experience."

I bit the insides of my cheek, "This job ain't a joke, Dad."

Dad looked at me proudly, which confused me.

"Good to know that you're aware. You know that this isn't a joke. That means you're responsible enough to handle our bank."

I looked at him with worry, "I think I don't have enough training for this."

"You've been trained for years now, Darling." Dad stood up and walked towards me. He patted my shoulder, "You got this. You're a fighter. You don't back down on challenges. Remember, you liked learning new things, and I'm giving you the opportunity to know our company, Darling."

I looked at my dad's eyes. And It was like I was looking at mine too. The only different thing was his eyes were proud and reassuring. In contrast, mine was uncertain and nervous. Then my eyes went to his lips. My forehead knotted, and my brows were about to meet. My dad's lips... his lips were too pinkish. I mean, pinkish din naman 'yung sa akin, nasa genes namin, e. Pero 'yung kaniya. It was weird. Masyadong ma-pink at medyo pouty ngayon. Hindi ko naman napapansin lips ni Dad, pero ngayong malapit siya sa akin, parang may kakaiba. Parang nakipaghalikan siya.

God, Oly. Sino naman hahalikan ng dad mo sa bahay niyo? Then my eyes caught the glass of bourbon. Unexpected relief came to me. Of course, umiinom siya, baka dahil doon kaya ganiyan ang lips niya. I should stop thinking about malicious thing. Kanino naman siya makipaghahalikan 'di ba? Saka si Atlas lang naman ang naabutan kong bisita rito. Alangang si Atlas 'di ba?

Maybe, it was the stress piling up. Yeah, it was stress. 

~TBC~

If I pick a song for SA #2, I think Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift would suit the first half of this story. Please, get vaccinated. If you have doubts, you can do a consultation, or mas better if 'yung vaccination site ay sa hospital. Kasi sure ka na may doctor talaga doon, and you could ask things to clear your doubts and hesitations. P'wede rin naman mag-research ka for your good. Mahirap na kasing walang vaccine ngayon. Be wise for your health.

See you again for another update!

Please, bear with all the errors. This is the first draft.

Feel free to share your thoughts, and keep safe, everyone.

Love lots! :>>