O L I V I A   V A L E Z

Could emotion change so fast, like how fast coins could be flipped? One moment I was so drowning from the abyss of sadness. But now, I felt like flying to the clouds of happiness. How could such a thing be possible? I guess when it comes to our emotions and feelings, everything was possible. Things become unexplainable. 

"What should we do to your pretty little dress?" Atlas said as his eyes roved from my head to toe. 

He tilted his head and put his hands on his chin. Atlas kept thinking while looking at my champagne-colored babydoll dress. I felt conscious under the eye of someone I liked. I was always confident in the way I looked. I knew I was pretty. Everybody told me that, and looking at my parents, there was no doubt I am pretty. I may have foreign blood in me, but my beauty was a Filipina one. 

"What's with my dress? Was it too short?" 

Didn't boys like short dresses and skirts? I meant, most teen boys tried checking out girls with short school uniforms in our university. But I heard boys didn't like it when their girlfriends wear something revealing. Where is the logic in that? They like seeing it to others, but not to their partner? Where's their damn brain?

"Well, yes. We're going to ride Love. It looks good on you, but not while riding on my motor."

He got the point if I don't want to parade my flying dress and reveal my underwear to everyone. I need to change.

"Why? Where are we going?" 

"You'll see." 

Nagulat naman ako nang bigla siyang lumapit sa akin, habang hinuhubad ang leather jacket niya. Napaatras ako nang kaunti at napalinga-linga. Ano bang ginagawa niya? Bakit siya naghuhubad ng jacket niya? Saka wait! Talaga bang dito? Public place 'to, a? Sure ba siya? Hindi ba nakahihiya at baka may makakita sa amin? Heat crawl to my neck to my cheeks. This sinful and shameful train of thought came rushing on my brain. 

"W-What are you doing?" kinakabahang tanong ko.

Napatigil siya saglit at kunot noong tumingin sa akin. "Huh?"

"B-Bakit ka naghuhubad ng j-jacket mo?" 

He raised his left brow and smirked at me. "This is the reason why I don't want you reading that fucking erotic book. Look at how your brain thinks now. So impure, Little Girl." Pinitik niya ang noo ko sabay kabig sa akin papalapit.

Dahil sa gulat mula sa pagkabig niya sa akin ay hindi ako nakagalaw. Yumuko si Atlas nang kaunti at itinali paharap ang jacket sa aking baywang. Mas lalo naman akong namula dahilsa kahihiyan. Stupid, Olivia! Kung ano-anong pinag-iisip mo. When he stood straightly, I avoided his mocking eyes. I can't look at him in the eye after all the things I have thought. Why did I even thought about such things?

"T-Thanks," I said without looking at him.

I could see him shaking his head while a teasing smile was plastered on his lips. "Come on, stop with your ridiculously dirty thoughts, Little Girl." 

Napairap na lang ako habnag sumasakay sa motor niyang pinangalanang Love. Guilty ako, e. Guilty sa paratang nag-iisip ng maruruming bagay. I should probably stop reading erotic stories, but they are enjoyable. They sometimes get stress and boredom off my shoulders. And now, I can understand Prim when she said I could use it as a future reference. I learned a lot of things especially, how to do sex properly and how to pleasure myself. However, I still get shy about it. Hindi namna kasi sguro ganoon kadaling masanay sa ganoong bagay.

Compare to our rides before; Atlas was now driving more at ease and moderately fast. I was still hugging him tight from behind as the air flew my hair and kissed my skin warmly. I closed my eyes and felt the air more. After breaking down in front of that almost empty music hall, my eyes felt tired so was my heart and soul. I felt so broken, but he revived me. His presence made my broken heart whole again. He picked up the falling pieces of my soul with his clap. I never thought one person could make you feel complete.

I moved my head a little and looked at the side mirror. Atlas's heavenly blue eyes met mine. He was also looking at me in the side mirror. They said the color of blue represents sadness and coldness, but whenever I looked at his eyes, they were nothing but passionate, warm blue eyes. 

"I'm sorry for being late." he said something I can't clearly hear. The wind was making him unheard.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

His eyes got gentler as he said it louder and more apparent now, "I said, I'm sorry for being late."

My eyes got teary again. He was the only one who came and the only person who said he was sorry. Why was he even sorry? Hindi naman niya responsibility na punta sa recital ko. Hinid siya nag-commit sa akin napupunta talaga siya. It was me who expected them to come. It was me. It was my fault for getting disappointed. Atlas didn't need to apologize because, in the end, he came, and that is all that matters. 

"T-Thank you... Thank you for coming. I appreciated it a lot. I thought nobody care enough to watch me." I hugged him tighter, and I buried my face to his board back. 

"I care enough to watch your performance, Olivia. I saw you practice almost every day, even if your fingers hurt. I saw your hardship. I saw the passion in your eyes whenever you play. I can see the love in your eyes whenever you commit yourself, and I never saw those kinds of eyes to someone as young as you. You know, when I was your age, I can never commit myself to something. I love arts, but I'm not as passionate as I am now. All I know when I was your age was to play around. That's why I admire your passion and diligence." 

I felt like crying again, but his time from happiness. I never thought someone would see all the good in me. I thought no one was looking at me—to all my efforts and my heart. I'm so used to being alone in our home that no one was looking and watching me. That's why In our university, I loved all the attention I could get. Na kahit 'yung achievements ko lang ang makita nila ay okay na sa akin. Na kahit hindi na nila nakita 'yung process para maabot ko 'yung mga achievement ko ay sapat na sa akin. Pero ganito pala 'yung pakiramdam na may naka-acknowledge ng paghihirap. 

Nakatataba pala ng puso. Para kang niyakap sa napakalamig na panahon. Na feeling mo katanggaptanggap ang existance mo sa mundong ito. Na finally may naka alam na nandito ka at ginagawa ang lahat. Na finally importante ka. Ganito pala 'yung feeling. Napakasarap. 

"Thank you. I'm really thankful that you came."

Atlas chuckled lightly. I could feel his body rocking a little bit. "Come on, and it's not like I did something big, Olivia. I only came to watch you. I didn't even have the time to buy you a gift for your successful performance. I even did my supposed work for today para maaga makapunta. Damn that stupid supplier. Napatawag pa tuloy sa site to check all the materials together with the engineers."

"It's big for me. Lalo na ngayong nalaman ko pang may emergency pala sa work mo tapos nagpunta ka pa rin." 

"Of course, I'm the best!" malokong sabi niya kaya kinurot ko siya sa tiyan. Nagawa pa talagang mang-asar. "Kidding aside, you deserve an audience, Little Girl. Dapat nga puno nag music hall na 'yon kung ikaw ang tutugtog!"

I laugh, "Hindi naman ako professional 'no!"

Our ride went well. It was full of heartfelt conversation and light laughter. Tumigil ang motor niya sa gilid nang daanan. I think we are now outside of the city. Hindi na naman ganoon kainit sa lugar na ito kahit alapit ng mag-lunch. May nakikita rin akong malapit na ferris wheel sa hindi kalayuan. At medyo malamig ang simoy ng hangin dito kahit may araw. I think we are in Tagaytay. 

Hinubad ko ang helmet na kaparehas ng kay Atlas at inabot ito sa kaniya. Tinanggal ko rin ang nakapulupot na jacket sa aking baywang. Imbis na ibalik ito sa kaniya ay sinuot ko ito. Well, It gave an edge to my outfit, and O, my god! It smelled so good. It smelled luxurious men's perfume with a hint of cigarette. 

"You can have it," Atlas said as he smiled at me.

Umikot ako at nag-pose, "Do I looked pretty?" I even batted my eyelashes.

He chuckled, "Always. Come on, and we need to eat. " Tumingin siya sa kaniyang relo, "It's almost twelve in the afternoon."

He motioned his arms, and I happily hooked my arms on it. I was even skipping as we walked towards a restaurant. The inside of it looked luxurious but homey at the same time. The restaurant's interior was full of green and woods, but it has a shining chandelier that complimented the whole environmentally friendly vibes of the restaurant. I nodded as I looked around it. Magaling din ang architect nito dahil ang creative nang pagkapwesto sa mga lamesa't upuan, pati ang counter nito. Maganda rin ang pagka-de-design doon sa may labas kung saan overlooking ang paligid. 

"Wow," I can't help but voice out my amusement.

"You liked it?"

I nodded as I kept looking around.

"I designed it."

Agad naman akong napalingon nang sabihin niya 'yon. "Really?

"Yeah, this design was one of my final output when I was in college. When I presented my portfolio, I didn't think they would love my thesis instead of my new designs." 

I didn't even hear one little boasting in his voice as he said it. It was all disbelief mixed with amusement. This man beside me was always humble in his work. 

"E 'di matagal mo na itong nagawa?"

"Yes, it has been years. Anyway, what do you want? Sadly there's no kiddie meal here, Little Girl." 

Umirap na lang ako sa pang-aasar niya. Nagulat naman ako dahil kilala siya ng matandang manager. Kaya hangang sa pag-serve sa amin ng pagkain ay naging mabilis. Maayos ang serving at masarap din ang pagkain nila. Isama mo pa ang magandang ambience, talagang mapadadami ang kain mo. Nang matapos akog kumain ay napagpasyahan kong magkwento.

"I told my dad that I want to be an architect."

Napahinto siya sa pagkain at napatingin sa akin. "Really?" I nodded, and he continued, "That's good! What did your dad say?"

Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya, at kinuha ang baso na may laman ng raspberry tea. "He got angry..." I said lowly.

"What? Oliver Valez got angry at you? His precious daughter?" hindi makapaniwalang saad niya.

"Oo nga. Why would I lie?"

Napakamot naman siya sa kaniyang batok, "Well, that's new. If you only knew how he always told us, his friends, how proud he is with you whenever you achieved things. He would say to us over and over again, how amazing you are like your mother." 

I was speechless. I know my dad loves me, but to the point that he would tell things about me to his friends. I thought he was too busy with his work to even care about the things I did. And my dad talked about my mom with others? Why can't he talk about it with me?

"W-What does my mom like?"

Atlas smiled genuinely, "She's just like you."

"Really? I remembered you saying I was nothing like her the first time you met me." I looked at him with daggers in my eyes in a jokingly manner. 

He pouted a little like he was suppressing a smile, "Fine, I'm sorry for saying that. I can confidently say that you are like her...really like her. Primarily, your heart's pureness. Anyway, talk to your dad again about your career. Perhaps, Oliver was only stress at the moment, or something is going on. Try again. There's no harm in trying again."

Atlas was right. There is no harm in trying again.

But this time, I hope dad won't shout at me.

~TBC~

Short update muna tayo habang hindi pa nagloloko ang aking laptop. Saka medyo ginanahan din ako sa mga comments. Watch out for the next chapters because... just because! Kidding. Anyway, my dad decided not to pagawa my laptop, at baka raw sa internet namin my problem kaya nawawala nag wifi adaptor nito.

A little reminder for everyone: You are not selfish for wanting the same love and effort you gave to others. Even if it's on friendship or in a romantic way, you deserve to be treated right. You deserve the love you give.

See you next week!

Feel free to share your thoughts, and keep safe, Everyone.

Love lots! :>>