O L I V I A   V A L E Z

My heart felt at ease. The music floated in the air like lanterns on the night sky. The rhythm made me gasping for air. I kept my eyes closed as I moved my hands with the bow, as the other one kept on pressing the strings. My body also moved as the music seeped into my bones, making me shiver from a good sensation.

"And that's how you play this part."

I opened my eyes and saw Ms. Sally's smile after she played Li'l Liza Jane. It was the song she picked for me to play. She said it was one of the songs mostly a beginner learns to play, and I tell you when she said that, she really emphasized the word beginner. I was not the one who was playing a while ago. I was feeling the music to my soul so I would know it within as she played it skillfully. I believed that if you knew something deep within your soul, you would never be left astray. 

The song would only last a minute and thirty-one seconds, but learning the first ten seconds of it took me an hour already. And I wasn't near to mastering it. It wasn't a fast rhythmed song, but its mellowness made it somehow hard for a beginner. I was starting to get frustrated, to be honest. I'm a fast learner, but why can't I learn this as fast as I can? 

Ngayon ay medyo nagsisisi na akong nagsakit-sakitan ako noong nakaraan. Dapat noon ko pa sana ito inaaral, hindi 'yung hinahabol namin ngayon. Nag-adjust kami ngayon ng oras at ginawang hapon ang session namin, dahil sa hindi ko na attend-an na session noong nakaraan. Sumasakit na ang aking daliri kadidiin ng mga strings pero ni isang maayos na ritmo ay hindi ko magawa. I'm starting to think that violin was not for me. Hindi ba may mga ganoong bagay? 'Yung hindi talaga para sayo kahit anong gawin mo. Maybe, isa ito sa mga bagay na 'yon sa akin.

I sighed and looked at Ms. Sally, and I made sure she couldn't see the frustration and vanquish in my eyes. My pride wouldn't accept the fact that I'm struggling right now, and this witch would be able to see it. I'll rather die before she sees me struggle and defeated. One more time, Olivia.

"I see. I'll try again."

I put Love under my chin and get into the proper posture. At first, I thought doing the proper posture would make it easier; however, I was wrong. It's far from easy. As I glided the bow onto the pressed strings of my violin, a screeching sound was made damaged our ears—far from the beautiful and elegant sound I was expecting to come out. I saw how Ms. Sally's smile slid downwards, and how she low-key covered her right ears with his two fingers.  

"La fermata, Deary. Uh, I think you are not getting it." Ms. Sally put her fingers to her chin and closed her eyes as she thinks. "You already memorized all the chords for this song, right?"

"Yes."

"Let's see the arrangement of the chords first. We'll fix the tune later."

I nodded as an answer. I'm not confident that my voice would sound normal. I think if I were any words right now, my voice would waver. I wouldn't say I like that. Not in front of this witch. I know she would enjoy every moment I was having a hard time. I could felt a knot on my stomach forming. I'm so near from trashing here. 

I gulped first before I positioned myself to the right posture again. I started playing all the chords involved in the Li'l Liza Jane even though I'm out of tune. After I played all the chords in the right arrangement, I saw Ms. Sally's distorted expression and her hands covering her ears again. She didn't even bother hiding the fact that she covered her ears to me. She even smiled sweetly at me as I looked at her with my cold eyes. I think this is the first time I have ever looked at someone coldly. Lagi kasing nakasuot ang maskara kong prim and proper sa mga tao. 

I'm so close to believed the sound I made is a weapon—a weapon enough to bleed everybody's ears. 

Tumingin si Ms. Sally sa relo niya at sinabing, "Let's end the lesson today. Keep practicing if you have time, Deary."

"I will. Thank you for today." I said politely.

Ngumiti na lamang siya sa akin at tumalikod na at nag-ayos ng gamit, pero hindi nakaligtas sa aking pandinig ang ibinulong niya sa sarili. 

"God, save my ears."

Agad na nagpantig ang aking tainga sa kaniyang sinabi, but this isn't the right time to bitch out. I know to myself if I were in her position, I would also say the exact same words she uttered. Even if I felt my blood went up from embarrassment and anger, I shut my mouth and force a smile. Calm down, Olivia. She's right anyway. I'll surely practice later so that this witch won't talk bad about me. 

Sakto namang paghatid ko palabas kay Ms. Sally ay ang pagpasok ni Dad sa bulwagan. Agad kong napansin ang pagkinang ng mga mata ni Ms. Sally pagkakitang-pagkakita kay Oliver Vallez na siyang naka corporate suit. Ang coat ni Dad na itim ay nakasabit sa braso niya habang ang long sleeve polo niya ay nakatupi hangang siko. Ang itim na buhok niya ay maayos pa ring naka brush up. 

Napatigil si Dad sa pagtanggal ng kaniyang silver na neck tie gamit ang isang kamay nang makita kaming papalapit. Pinanood ko kung paano sinundan ng mga mata ni Ms. Sally ang paggalaw ng maskuladong braso ni Dad. Bahagya pang bumakat ang iilang ugat habang hinihila niya ang neck tie kanina. Tumaas ang kilay ko nang makitang inipit ni Ms. Sally ang buhok sa kaniyang tainga. Yuck, nagpa-cu-cute ba 'to kay Dad sa ganiyang paraan? She needs to step up her game if she wants my dad. However, even if she came up with hundreds of plans to get my dad, she won't succeed. Not when I'm still breathing.

Now I understand why she seems fine when I rescheduled our make-up session in the afternoon. She would be able to see my dad after our class, and if she's lucky enough, she will be able to see Atlas Mate too. What a greedy witch. 

"Welcome home, Dad!" 

I walked towards dad, and I made sure that I would block Ms. Sally's sight from my dad. I kissed my dad's cheeks and hugged him. When I faced Ms. Sally, I have this triumph smirk on my face like I was saying, poor you, you can't do that. She has that sweet smile like mine whenever I was up for a show, but I knew I got on her nerves when her palm balled into a fist. 

"What about me? No welcome home greetings, Little Girl?" 

I almost jumped from where I was standing when Atlas Mate suddenly talked from behind. I placed my hand tom my chest. I turned around, and saw him wearing a black leader jacket and garnet red long sleeves inside tucked in his black jeans paired with Bottega boots. On his left hand, he was carrying his helmet while his right hand was on my dad's shoulder. 

Saglit na napatigil ang aking mga mata sa kaniyang pants, at agad na anmula ang aking pisngi nang maalala kung anong halimaw ang nakatago doon. O God, Olivia. Stop thinking about it! Damn, the moment I saw it, I knew I'd never looked at his bottom half innocently like before. My eye's innocence was officially left under that bed.

I faked a cough to fixed the forming lump on my throat. "Welcome back, Mr. Mate." I even managed to put on a sweet smile, but I instantly withdrew my eyes away from him. 

Mamaya ay mapadpad na naman ang mga ito sa lugar na hindi dapat. Parang gusto kong mag sign of the cross dito mismo sa aking kinatatayuan. Para kasing may sariling buhay ang aking mga mata at talagang bumabalik kay Atlas, tapos biglang bababa doon. Tinapunan ako ni Atlas nang nagdududang tingin na para bang alam niya kung saan patungo ang aking mga iniisip at mata. 

"Since you're here, Ms. Roma, stay for dinner." pormal na sabi ni dad.

"I-I'd love to!" Ms. Sally said as she drowned to my dad's onyx eyes.

My dad has that ability for everyone he looked at. His black eyes were like an abyss of the unknown. His eyes could make you feel like the only person in the universe, like you were the center of anything. But it was intimidating at the same time. That's why I can't blame bitches like Ms. Sally for falling to Oliver Valez. I have those eyes too, but I don't know if I had the same effect when I looked at someone. I wish tho. 

Nang makapaghanda na ng dinner ang mga katulong, ay sabay-sabay kamingnagpunta sa dining area. Nagulat pa ako nang may tumamang katawan sa akin. Kunot noo akong napalingon, at agad na bumungad sa akin ang kunot noong si Atlas. Did he purposely bumped into me? Or mabagal lang talaga akong maglakad?

"Sorry," I said, then looked ahead again.

To my surprise, he said in a low voice enough to send shivers to my bone, "Give the book back, Little girl." 

"No, Old man."

I felt him touch my hair and swirled it. I didn't dare to look back at him and continued walking.

"Hmm, what a naughty girl you are. Should I talk to your dad about parties and puking?" 

I stopped on my track. I heard him chuckled at my reaction. 

"Change your mind now?"

Hindi ko siya pinansin ang nagtatakbo palapit kay dad. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang nagkibit balikat lang siya. Kahit nang kumakain na kami ay hindi talaga mawala-wala ang nakaiinis niyang ngiti sa labi. Asa naman siyang ibabalik ko sa kaniya 'yon 'no. Hindi naman sa kaniya 'yon in the first place, so bakit ko ibabalik? Buo ang naging desisyon kong hindi ko ibabalik ang libro. Tapos ko na namang basahin 'ton, at hindi ko inaasahang matatapos ko iyon sa isang upuan. Well, I was shocked as fuck. But I can't put down the book, so I ended up finishing it. It contains things I didn't existed. May ganoon palang fetish? At may mga sexual fetish pala ang mga tao?

Tumingin ako sa kaniya habang sumusubo. Nagtama ang aming tingin at halos mabulunan ako nang biglang pumasok sa aking isipan ang mga bagay na nabasa ko sa makasalanang librong iyon. He raised his eyebrow as he lazily circled the fork on his plate. Na focus naman doon ang tingin ko. What would it feel if he traces the end of that fork to my body like the male protagonist did with his toys? Would it feel good, as it said in the book? Would the coldness of the stainless fork be enough to make me shiver from anticipation? 

I started feeling something different to my core, and as seconds passed, my panty got wet. This time I know what this meant. I'm fucking getting aroused at our dining area while eating; great! 

Muling nagtama ang aming tingin, at dahil sa kaba ko na baka malaman niya ang mga bagay na hindi kanais-nais na tumatakbo sa aking utak. Natabig ko ang bread knife sa aking gilid. Dali-dali akong yumuko para kunin ang nahulog habang namumula ang pisngi. Ngunit napatigil ako sa pag-abot nang makita ang paa ni Ms. Sally na bahagyang tumatama sa legs ni Dad. Halos mapasinghap ako nang makitang unti-unti itong umaakyat pataas. 

Padabog akong tumayo kaya nagsikalambagan ang iilang gamit sa lamesa. Nagulat na tumingin sa akin si Ms. Sally habang nagtaas lamang si Atlas Mate ng kilay. Si dad naman ay tumikhim pero seryoso ang eskpresyon sa mukha na akala mo ay hindi ginagapang ng paa ni Ms. Sally. Tinignan ko nang mariin si Ms. Sally kaya agad itong nag-iwas ng tingin at bahagyang namula ang pisngi. 

"I lost my appetite. I'm going to my room now." 

I walked out fast out of that place. I cannot believe it! She has the audacity to do that in front of the food? And the fact that the man she was seducing was in there didn't even stop her! What a slut! Okay, maybe I was being a hypocrite because I'm also thinking unholy things in front of the food, but at least I know to control myself! I was only thinking. Not doing it. I really cannot believe that witch of a slut!

Pagkapasok ko sa kwarto ko, ay agad kong pinaghahagis ang mga unan at kumot ko kung saan-saan. Nagpupuyos talaga ako sa galit ngayon. Ang puso ko ay mabilis natumitibok at ang dugo ko ay umaakyat sa ulo ko dahil sa galit! Napatigil ako sa pagwawala nang may kumatok sa aking kwarto. Dahil sa galit at inis ko, ni hindi ko man lang inisip ang itsura ko ngayon. Basta ko na lang binuksan ang pinto nang may galit na mukha.

"What?!"

Itinaas ni Atlas Mate ang mga kamay sa ere na akala mo ay sumusuko sa pulisya.

"Woah, easy there, Little girl."

"What do you want?"

"Are you okay?" he said gently, making all the violent thoughts on my head stop.

Napakurap ako sa tanong niya. I calmed down from what he asked, just like magic. That certainly caught me off guard.

"D-Do I looked alright?"

He smiled softly and lifted his hands. He fixed my messy hair that I didn't know was a mess. 

"Yeah, you don't look fine." Ibinulsa niya ang kamay na umayos sa buhok ko. "I'll have something for you to see." Tumalikod na siya at nagsimulang lumakad papasok sa kaniyang kwarto. Lumingon siya sa akin nang mapansing hindi ako kumibo. "Come on, Olivia."

My breath hitched the moment my name rolled out from his lips like a sweet lullaby. This is the first time he said my name. My real name. Not Kiddo. Not Little girl, but Olivia. 

I never knew my name would be euphonious. Now, I love my name more.

~TBC~

Thanks, God! After ng sunod-sunod na ulan ay umaraw rin kahit papaano. Nawalan kami ng internet dahil sa bagyo at habagat. 

Kindly bear with the grammatical errors. This is a rough draft.

Feel free to share your thoughts, and keep safe, everyone.

Love lots! :>>