O L I V I A   V A L E Z

How could I have it back?

I irritatingly grabbed the medicine from the paper bag and drank it. My head pounded more after that old man got the book. What was his problem anyway? So what if it's an erotic book? I bet it isn't as bad as watching porn, right? I mean, you can't see the real thing happening when you read. Then why is he making a big fuss over it? It made me want to shove the book to his throat!

God!

I closed my eyes and tried focusing on my breathing. Calm down, Olivia. Inhale, exhale, and clear your mind. After doing it, I grabbed my phone and checked my social media accounts. Now, I'm feeling quite nervous. I did so many stupid things last night! I won't be surprised if some of them were caught by the camera and posted online. But  I don't want any of that to happen even if the possibility was high. 

Padapa akong humiga sa kama habang hawak-hawak ang cellphone ko. I breathed deeply first before finally opening my social media account. At first, I didn't see any post related to the party, but as I scrolled down, I saw a photo of Prim and me hugging near a tennis table with beer cups. My hands shook a little as I tried zooming it in. I can clearly see my red cheeks, my eyes a little hooded, and I got a goofy smile. Yeah, I looked like a total drunkard. 

The next picture was the one when the first player was puking at the side of the table. It earned a lot of likes and comments. They were teasing the guy a lot. I sighed when relief washed over me. There wasn't any bad comment nor a shameful photo of me. The photos were tagged to me, and all of them were just about the game or me chatting with others. I turned off my phone with a small smile on my lip. I guess I won't get a traumatic experience or shameful one from my first party. I'll consider myself lucky.

For now, I really need to get that book back. No matter what. 

I'll get it by hook or by crook!

With determination built inside of me, I slowly opened the door and peaked at it. Sa ganitong oras ay busy na maglinis ang mga katulong sa salas, kusina, at hardin kaya sigurado akong walang pupunta rito. Pero syempre kailangan ko pa ring mag-ingat, lalo na't sinabi kong masama ang pakiramdam ko, tapos makikita nilang palakad-lakad ako rito. Malalagot talaga ako kung sakali. Mabuti na lamang at katapat na kwarto ko lamang ang ginagamit na kwarto ni Atlas.

Ipagdadasal ko na lang na naninigarilyo siya at wala sa kwarto, para matiwasay kong makuha pabalik ang libro. I was tiptoeing as I cross the corridor. The doorknob felt colder than before, and maybe it was my nervousness eating me. I breathed in before I pushed the door open, and thanks to all the saints, the door didn't make a single noise. I clutched the fabric of my bottom before walking in and shutting the door quietly. 

I looked around anxiously. Where is he? Atlas didn't seem to be around. I almost yelp when I heard the water gushing out from the faucet. He's inside the bathroom! Gosh, I need to find the book quickly as possible, or I'll be doomed. 

Where did he put it? 

 I kept looking around me, and because of my nervousness, the room felt a little suffocating. Beads of cold sweat started forming on my forehead. The room isn't that big, but why can't I find it? Calm the fuck down, Olivia, or you'll never find that book. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly while counting one to three repeatedly. When I felt less tense, I started looking around again, and this time I'm more focused.

Kahit gusto kong halughugin ang buong kwarto para makita agad ang hinahanap, ay hindi ko magawa. Mahirap gawin iyon dahil mabubuko agad ako. Kailangan 'pag-umalis ako rito ay mukhang hindi ko pinasok ang kwarto niya. I need to be discreet. I looked around again and again. Binuksan ko ang iilang kabinet, muntik pa akong mapasigaw sa gulat ng mabuksan ang pinaglalagyan ng mga underwear niya. Mabilis ko iyong isinara, at ramdam ko agad ang pag-akyat ng dugo ko sa mukha. 

Tumikhim ako nang mahina at ibinaling sa ibang direksyon ang ulo. Sakto naman ang paglingon ko, nahagip ng mata ko ang medyo naka angat na unan. Dali-dali akong pumunta sa kaniyang kama at itinaas ang unan. Halos magningning ang aking mata nang makitang nandoon ang libro. Bakit naman sa ilalim ng unan nakalagay ito? Talaga bang may balak siyang basahin 'to? Baka nga nagkukunyari lang siyang bawal sa akin ito, para siya ang magbabasa. 

I shook my head from the thought dancing on my mind. I almost drop the book when the bathroom's doorknob started moving—twisting in a slow-motion like how my world slowed down right now. What should I do? He can't see me here! Baka magbago ang isip niya at isumbong ako kay dad. Without putting a thought, I went down and crawled under the bed. When I successfully hid under his bed was the exact moment he went out of the bathroom.

The only thing I can see was his feet and legs. The muscles on his hairy legs flexed a little as he took a step. I never imagine feet and legs could be sexy. Damn, may hindi ba sexy sa lalaking 'to? I hate to admit it, but this old man was sexy as fuck. He stopped at my side. My heart started racing widely like it was about to go out of my chest. I could also feel my sweat dripping from my forehead to my neck. I was even holding my breath without knowing it.

I sucked more air when the towel on his waist suddenly was on the ground. O, my god! He took off his towel! O, my god! I can't! All the sensible things inside me flew out of the universe, and I just kept staring at the white towel innocently laying on the ground. O, no! That damn towel is far from being innocent. It probably saw his everything. I suddenly envied the towel. Shit, what was I thinking?!

I moved slightly, and that was a fucking wrong move! Now I could see Atlas Mate's immaculate body from the body length mirror! And when I said body—I meant his glorious nakedness. Right at this moment, I could feel my soul leaving my body. I was frozen. My eyes were also frozen from the magnificent sight in front of me. My mouth was a little opened, and I wasn't able to react. I don't even know if it's alright to react. 

Atlas's m-member was fucking b-big like that porn Prim, and I watched! I thought that was edited! How could such a thing be real? But damn, after seeing the real thing, I could never erase the fact that a big dick actually exists! It wasn't even erected, but how can it be so big? I never looked at his pants. However, after seeing this, I don't think I could even look at his body without thinking this. 

I'm suddenly feeling hot. The sweat dripping kept coming. I wasn't even aware that I was clutching the book so tightly, not until I almost tear it off. I gulped audibly. Halos tumalon palabas ang puso ko nang biglang lumingon si Atlas sa direction ko. Mabuti na lamang at hindi bumaba ang tingin niya, kung hindi ay makikita niya akong nanlalaki ang mata habang nakatungin sa private part niya.

Kunot noong siyang bumaling muli sa drawer at naglabas doon ng underwear. Why is he wearing his undies here? He could do that inside the bathroom. My mind was shouting to look away, but my eyes didn't. Para bang may sariling desisyon ang mga ito, at nanatiling nakatitig sa naka hubo't hubad na si Atlas. He bent down and wore his underwear. Naguluhan pa ako nang hawakan niya ang kaniyang mala-bakal na ari. What is he doing? Bakit niya ginagalaw-galaw 'yon? Like itatagilid niya, tapos iiling siya, and then sa kabilang gilid naman niya ipwepwesto. May positioning pa pala ang pag-u-undies sa mga lalaki?

Hindi ko alam kung makahihinga ba ako nang maluwag ngayong naka underwear na siya, o manghihinayang. Anong manghihinayang? Ayusin mo 'yang utak mo, Oly!  Fuck, what am I thinking? I'm becoming shameless! Dahil ito kay Prima, e. Kung ano-ano tuloy ang pumapasok sa utak ko. Now that I think about it. I remembered how those two women moaned when the man entered them. W-would his m-member make every woman moan like that? With his well-toned wast and sexy V-line. I bet he can thrust skillfully. I bet he can make every woman scream more than that man in the porn video.

Namula nang todo ang pisngi ko sa aking mga naiisip. Why am I imagining him thrusting that monstrous penis of his? Why?! 

I need to cleanse my whole being, not just my mind.

Ipinilig ko ang aking ulo, at muli siyang tinignan. Naka slacks na ito at naka long sleeves polo, pero naka bukas pa lahat ng butones. Ang bilis naman yata niya magbihis? Biglang tumunog ang cellphone niya, saglit niya itong tinignan, at bumuntong hininga bago sinagot.

"Hello..."

Atlas's forehead knotted so deeply, and his jaw clenched too. Hindi ko naririnig ang sinasabi ng kaniyang kausap, kaya ang nagagawa ko lamamng ay ang tignan ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. Ilang segundo ang lumipas bago siya muling nagsalita.

"I gave you time, but what did you do? Fuck it! You said you're tired, so that's your way to ease your tiredness? Don't fuck with me."

I don't know what this is all about, but I can see the raw fury in his eyes. Kung ano mang ginawa ng kausap niya ngayon, ay talagang nagpagalit kay Atlas. I saw his palm balled into a fist, and the veins were starting to show up on his hand.

"If you're tired, so am I."

Pagkatapos niyang sabihin 'yon ay ibinaba na niya nag tawag, at pagalit na ginulo ang buhok. He even cursed under his breath. Ni hindi niya rin mabutones nang maayos ang polo niya dahil sa inis na halatang-halata sa mukha niya. Para nang gusto niyang ibalibag ang polo niya dahil lang sa hindi ito mabutones. Lumabas na ba ako sa aking pinagtataguan, at tulungan siya? Kaso mukhang hindi 'yon magandang idea. Malalaman niyang nandito ako kanina pa at pinapanood siyang magbihis, tapos idagdag mo pang nakikinig ako sa tawag niya.

Double dead ako kung sakali.

I know that peaking and eavesdropping are bad, but I didn't mean this to happen. I just want to get my book back! Hindi ko naman alam na lalabas siyang nakatapis lang , at may tatawag sa kaniya. If I knew, baka mamayang hapon na lang ako pumunta rito. Bakit nga ba hindi ko naisip na mamaya na lang kunin pabalik 'tong libro na ito?

I sent daggers to the book I was holding. Pahamak. 

Napatingin akong muli kay Atlas nang bumuntong hininga ito. Maayos na ngayong nakabutones ang polo niya. Naka tucked in na rin ito sa itm niyang slacks. Parang nakalimutan ko yatang huminga nang bigla itong umuko para kunin ang sapatos. Mabuti na lamang ay nakapatalikod siya sa akin, kung hindi ay mahuhuli niya ako.

Paano nga bang huminga? Kasi hangang ngayon ay pigil hininga pa rin ako, habang sinusuot niya ang sapatos niya. I slowly breathed out. When he didn't notice me until he left the room, I thanked all the gods I knew. Naghintay ako nang ilang minuto bago lumabas ng kwarto niya.

Sobrang bilis kong tinawid ang kwarto ko na akala mo ay may humahabol na multo. Napasandal ako sa pintuan ko nang matagumpay akong nakapasok nang walang nakapapansin. I clutched the book on my chest tightly. Then all the things that happened inside that room, and all the things I saw underneath his bed all returned to me. Lahat ng kahiyaan na dapat kong maramdaman kanina ay ngayon lang pumasok sa aking katawan. I am now ashamed of all the things I did back there and all the thoughts that gone wild in my head. 

Siguro ay pumasok na siya ngayon sa trabaho. Pero hindi ba late na siya? Don't tell me nagpa-late talaga siya dahil na laman niyang may sakit ako? Namula ang pisngi ko dahil sa naisip. Okay, don't assume, Olivia. Don't assume otherwise stated! I swear, my mind is not functioning well these past few weeks ever since I met that man. Maybe, I need a brain transplant? I rolled my eyes from the silly thought.

Humiga ako sa kama at itinaas ang hawak na libro. Hmm, are you worth all the trouble? Well, let's see. 

~TBC~

Please bear with all the grammatical errors. I didn't proofread this.

Feel to share your thoughts, and keep safe, everyone.

Love lots! :>>