Hey. It took longer than I thought to write this chapter, but I recently lost my dog and have been grieving.

Thanks for sticking around in wait for it though:-) Let's dive in.

Yards away, Chicago leaned stiffly against a tree, watching the discomforting scene unfold. His shoulders ached from the strain, and he thought he felt something crawl at the nape of his neck. He would've swatted whatever it was away, but he didn't want to call attention to himself.

He felt like an idiot hiding behind the trees. This was beneath him. The entire situation was beneath him. But he figured it was less than he deserved.

Every time he planned something, it blew up in his face and his sister got hurt.

Said sister was currently standing stiffly too, doing the same thing he was doing—watching the discomforting scene unfold.

When he'd heard about her engagement to Paris Boden of Boden Enterprises, he'd known something was off. The timing was too suspicious, and Shanya didn't strike him as the sort to swoon over a guy (millionaire or not) in less than two months.

It wasn't hard for him to figure out exactly what was off about the shocking announcement a few days later.

And he wasn't impressed.

In fact, it had proven to him he was right to return her home by any means possible.

He didn't know the full details of their scheme, but he knew enough to know that he didn't like it. At first, he'd thought the bastard was two timing Shanya—using her for his own gain. But he'd known the truth even before his mind tried to process it.

They were both using each other.

He didn't know why and he didn't particularly care. Foiling their ridiculous scheme was his next agenda. The anonymous message he'd sent to the red head about her boyfriend's unfaithfulness had worked like fireworks. He'd been careful with his wordings, putting enough doubt to cause her to expect that something scandalous would occur today.

And then watch as she ruined the engagement party.

It was just his luck that she arrived a few minutes before the kiss was initiated. He clenched his hands. She was supposed to have gone inside and cause a scene. Their cover would've been blown, and Shanya would have had no choice but to end the absurd sham, accept that she couldn't manage on her own without her family, and come back home.

But she had run out of the hall and everything had gone south.

At that very moment, there was a piercing scream as the raging red head brutalized Boden's chest with her fists. Chicago briefly invisioned himself in her place doing the exact same thing. Only with more precision. And a lot more blows.

A few minutes passed and the once raging woman was now crying. He frowned. She never once struck him as meek.

He watched as Shanya adjusted herself and said something incomprehensible. Whatever it was, it had the other two—the young white girl and the big dude—laughing.

He read the situation and came to the painful realization that even despite this chaos, Shanya was not going to back out. He'd underestimated her sheer will to always finish what she started.

And he was done trying to stop her.

After all, you could take the horse to the water, but you couldn't force it to drink. And this particular horse was dead-set on not drinking.

It was best to leave her to her own devices. Nothing he did seemed to teach her anything anyway. A part of him stung at that knowledge as it showcased his failure as a brother and a father figure. But mostly, guilt ate at him. When Shanya was pummeled to the ground and the red head had her measly hands around her neck, he'd known he'd crossed several lines. Unforgivable ones. Just like before. Albeit, he didn't know Christian would try to rape her. But he should've. He was a depraved opportunist after all.  Scumbag of the earth.

Chicago knew he'd done something pretty awful when he had to work so hard to justify it. The more demanding the reparations his subconscious required the worse he knew it was.

Remorse hit him like a sledgehammer.

He wasn't doing anything right. Granted, whatever he did no matter how extreme was to get Shanya to return home. The world was full of monsters who'd take advantage of her, just like they'd taken advantage of his Sloane. But he was begining to think that maybe he was the monster. Maybe the problem lied with him.

Sloane died under his care, Shanya was suffering under his, and his mum didn't need him like she did before—thanks to Dwight. He respected his mum's choices, but it didn't take the sting away. Nevertheless, Dwight was a pretty decent man, and as long as he didn't cause his mother any sort of pain, he could keep his head.

Since his dad died, hell, since his dad got sick, he became the dad in the family. He was responsible for his mother, his father, and his sister. When the time came for him to study in California, he'd outright refused to go, not wanting to leave them on their own with so much going on. But his mother had forbidden him to do such a thing.

She was fierce and strong. His dad put her through a lot and yet she stuck around for them. He would always admire her for that. He would forgive her for anything she did even before she did it. And he could never blame her for wanting to be happy herself. For choosing to be selfish now. She'd lived in an unhappy marriage for so long and deserved this chance at happiness.

He didn't like it, but he understood.

However, it vexed him that she hadn't wanted to lift a finger in getting Shanya back even though he knew she wanted her daughter home. She was just stubborn and prideful. And Shanya was even worse. The two were more alike than they thought. Or maybe it was just a woman thing. He'd definitely suffered from the same traits in his deceased fiance, Sloane.

Just then, Boden and his red head unwound themselves from each other and were walking in the opposite direction of the hall. He watched them silently as they quickly disappeared behind a couple of trees yards away from where he hid.

Their relationship was doomed as sure as death. He wondered if they knew. He didn't know why they were hiding their affair, but the very fact that they had to hide it was enough to make him see red.

Nothing good came out of secrets. He hated that his sister was tangled up in this mess, but it appeared she'd gone into it with both eyes opened. It would be prejudice of him to blame Boden alone. Whatever came, she'd have to suffer the consequences too.

Although, it didn't look like she was suffering during that kiss. It was unmistakable. The red head had been right to be alarmed by it.

He knew what love was when he saw it. He'd experienced it, after all, however briefly.

And then there was that lady he'd met at the bar a couple months ago. He couldn't for the life of him remember her name, but his eyes had twitched the moment he'd seen her in her blue dress, talkative as ever.

He'd watched her dance with someone he'd suspected was either her boyfriend or her brother as they both wore matching outfits.

Her happiness mocked his sadness, and looking at her had been unpleasant. He'd been unsurprised to see her with this clique, yet he wondered at how small the world really was.

And just how much he had no control over.

He was going to have to own up to the fact that he couldn't protect Shanya. She was going to get hurt because getting hurt was inevitable and he couldn't stop it even if he tried. Experience had taught him that.

He'd almost gotten his sister raped and strangled to death. If that wasn't an indication that he had to let things rest, he didn't know what was. It begged the question; was he really doing this in her best interest or was he just trying to prove a point?

The silence that enveloped his mind told him those lines had been blurred a long time ago.

When the guilt came, it took him down the old familiar path. He wanted to refuse to walk it, pretend that he was the person he demanded that he was. He wanted to see himself in sepia tones, not perfect color. He wanted the memories of his actions erased, but if he did he'd never learn from what happened. And one thing life did was teach a lesson.

It was true what they said, "Those who didn't learn from history were doomed to repeat it." And he couldn't afford that. Not when Shanya clearly needed him to act like her big brother for once.

This guilt, his everyday companion, it sat not on his chest but inside his brain. It was like gasoline in his guts. His insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt him out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, a blinded shell, an outline of a person.

Doing his duty, taking care of his responsibilities filled that void. But what he'd caused Shanya to undergo, he'd never forgive himself for. What he had done, he could not un-do. He could make amends in subtle ways, but confession was out of the question. He'd lose her, if he hadn't already. He only hoped that by the time he was done making amends, he could feel like he earned it.

He'd seen her smiles as she interacted with the Bodens. They were radiant and genuine. He'd never seen her look so happy.

Maybe this was what she needed.
Maybe she did know what she was doing. Maybe he should trust her more. Besides, she seemed to rebel more when she was challenged.

So maybe it was time to let go.

There was just one more thing.

It was Boden he didn't trust, and he would have to do something about that.

A/n: I just realized the theme of this chapter is guilt, and it mirrors how I feel over the loss of my dog. Its weird how these things work. No matter how much you try to keep your feelings controlled, they come out in some way.

If you love this story so far, I'd appreciate a vote:-)