sixteen

희망 |  hope

✧

THE FIRST SNOW came the next morning.

Seraph was shrouded in a haze of soft white, almost as if the sky itself wanted to calm Eris's nervous heart. What happens to Elias now? To the footage?

What happens to us?

A shiver glossed her spine at the memory of the night before. Bumping back into the wall. His thumb brushing against her skin, just shy of the crook of her neck. His lips moving against hers...

Stop, she thought fiercely. God, she was going to go crazy.

The hospital appeared through the morning mist, half-hidden in snowfall. She and her father paused, breaths forming puffs of fog.

"You know what happened to him isn't your fault." He glanced at her. "Right?"

She couldn't find it in herself to answer.

Elias's room was on the fifth floor. Halfway up the elevator, Nico called her dad for help with the Proper, and she was left to go on ahead.

Crossing the hall felt like walking through clouds—the end of the hall was glass, and white sunlight poured in, turned soft and cool by the snow. It was quiet, save for the shuffle of a passing nurse.

Her heart raced. She paused at his door, a sliding one of light-washed wood.

ELIAS PARK, read the label.

Ironic, how he'd framed his friend for involuntary manslaughter to escape prison—only to be put in prison after saving her life.

She set her jaw and reached forward—

But the door slid open on its own.

The woman on the other side froze, gleaming in all her diamond jewelry, a cape coat of sleek ebony sweeping past narrow shoulders.

Her eyes, crinkled with age, were wet as they widened in surprise.

Valencia Im.

"Eris—"

"No," she breathed. Bitterness and pain stirred in her chest. "No."

"Listen to me—"

"You don't deserve to be here."

Hurt flashed in her mother's glimmering eyes. "I know that I wasn't—"

A distant voice interrupted her. "Eris?"

She stared past her mother at Elias. He was pale, a thick bandage around his head, but he was awake and alive--and his eyes, dark as black coffee, met hers with such unfiltered relief, it was as if her mother had been there since the beginning. As if nothing was or had ever been wrong.

She walked away, the world blurring past as her feet carried her faster and faster.

"Eris!" called Valencia. But when she didn't answer, no one came after her.

She'd turned the corner and made a beeline for the elevator so fast she nearly collided into her father, who reeled back in surprise.

"Where are you going? Is he awake?"

The nervous excitement in his voice intensified the bitterness in her chest. For all the times Elias had lied to him, scorned him, pushed him aside, her father had still hoped. Even now, he was hoping. It was never going to stop.

"I need to talk to you," she said suddenly.

Her dad squinted. "What?"

"I just--downstairs. We need to talk."

"Now?"

"Mm, now."

"About what?"

She didn't answer.

Her heart pounded in her throat as they hastily retraced their steps. The USB of footage flashed in her mind, nestled deep in the locked drawer beside her bed.

He deserves to know. The elevator doors slid open to let them in—

"Hope," her dad exclaimed with relief. "You're here to visit, too?"

Her gaze snapped up to meet the sharp, shrewd ones of Hope Jung. His features were dark with scrutiny, hands in his pockets and shoulders pulled back in a way that made him seem taller. But she was starting to understand him--that beneath his cool exterior, there was part of him that cared deeply, particularly for his closest friends.

"I thought I would stop by," he said evenly, stepping out of the elevator. "Everything okay?"

"Mm," insisted her dad. "I was about to visit him, but Eris here said she needed to talk, so..."

Hope's gaze flickered to Eris's. Hawk's eyes as usual, but unlike that night with Elias, he seemed more observant than critical. For a split second, she wondered if he knew anything about her and Luke.

"Actually," said Hope to her dad abruptly, "why don't you visit first? I want to discuss something with Eris."

Her dad paused in surprise. "Really? About what?"

"Just a few thoughts, is all," said Hope, which was about the vaguest answer he could have given. "We'll join you later."

Confusion washed over her, but she was too curious to decline. Her father stepped back with a little shrug--probably relieved, as he'd been antsy to see his son all morning. Eris watched him go with that nervous bounce in his step. Always hoping.

Hope ran a hand over his face and jutted his chin towards the elevator. "I'm sorry, but I need to show you something."

Eris looked at him warily and followed. They took the elevator to the topmost floor.

✧

"WHAT ARE WE doing here?"

Hope didn't answer her, instead tilting his head in another gesture to follow. She suppressed a surge of irritation as they headed down sun-bathed halls.

The floor itself was considerably smaller. The halls were narrower, and sweet perfume lingered in the air, a more expensive touch than cheap disinfectant.

Hope stopped just as the hall curved away into more snow-touched sunlight. His eyes told her to stop as well, and she paused, startled by the sudden glint of pain in his steely gaze.

"Look," he said quietly, stepping aside.

Wary, she leaned forward. The hall curved to stop at wide window, where pine trees outside wavered in wintry winds. To the right, caught in the morning glow, was a sliding door of light-washed wood guarded by two stone-faced men in charcoal gray suits.

The paper in the doorside label read: ESMERALDA NAM.

Her breath caught, and she leaned out of view to meet Hope's eyes. Understanding her confusion, he jutted his thumb in the opposite direction to talk.

They wound up in a separate hall, half-hidden in shadow. "Who is she?" she whispered.

"His mother." Hope tucked his hands into his pockets. "It took quite a bit of searching, but that's her. She's been there for six months."

"What happened?"

His face was dark. "I don't know. But what I do know is that before she was here, she was in a retirement home in the Hills for two years. Registered there in November 2015."

"November 2015..." She looked up, suddenly recognizing the look in his eyes—one of steel that hid thick grief beneath. She'd seen it on her brother's face. "The month before Michelle—"

"The month before Judas Nam killed my wife, yes."

"But—"

"You read about it on the Daily Angel, didn't you? Suicide by reckless driving. Tiger chairwoman loses the fight against work pressure. Don't you remember?" His lip twisted. "Edmond published it everywhere, that article."

Cold fear washed through her. "Judas murdered her?"

Anger shone in his eyes. "And Wyatt Han, and Joey Quon, just as you all suspect. But she was the first. Michelle—" He looked away sharply. "Yes, she was struggling. That much is true. But she had the strength to fight. She was doing everything in her power to prove to the world that she was strong enough to be chairwoman of the city's largest entertainment company. She would have never—" His hands shook as they curled into shaking fists. "She would have never..."

Sick dread gripped her stomach. "That's why you hate Eddie."

He turned his hawkish eyes on her. "Do you know why I dislike you?"

"I'm starting to."

"Oh, is that right? You understand, now that someone you care about has gotten hurt?" A sharp laugh left him. "Judas Nam killed my wife, but scum like Edmond Song are the reason they're tossed aside so quickly. Judas may have taken Michelle's life, but it's people like you who destroy lives. Michelle was stronger than you could have ever imagined, but because of your beloved boss, the world remembers nothing of her but a weak, overambitious woman who gave up. A coward."

Guilt ripped through her chest. She opened her mouth to respond, to say something. But Hope had already moved on.

"Judas would only threaten you by hurting Elias if he was afraid of you," said Hope. "Something about his mother is driving him to commit murder, but her deteriorating health is making him less careful. And now..." His voice hardened. "Now, you have leverage against him." 

"I..."

"Eris, what I care about is that while I've been looking for evidence silently for years, you're the closest anyone has ever gotten. So if you want to change, whatever you have, use it." His gaze locked onto hers. "How long are you going to watch people die before you fight back?"

✧

ELIAS WAS ASLEEP.

Soft winter winds breathed life into his room through his open window, bringing with it the scent of pine and rain as it ruffled his dark hair.

The sight of his face startled her. When he was asleep, Elias looked less like a liar and more like the brother she loved.

A rush of memories crashed upon her as she sank into the chair beside him. A lifetime ago, her dad and mom used go out alone for relaxing nights out on the Hills, leaving her and Elias with the entirety of the restaurant. Those nights had been the best--they'd lit up every light bulb in the Proper, afraid of the dark, and clicked on the old stereo to fill up the silence. Seven-year-old Elias would perch on the counter, all messy hair and big ears, pointing at everything she did wrong and teasing her as she struggled to master the egg waffle maker. So often the buttery mix would spill out of the waffle maker and drip onto the flour-stained counter, and they'd wipe down the countertop with their fingers, savoring every last bit of batter. Back then, Elias would wrestle her for the leftovers of their food makings or steal them from right under her fingertips, that clever smile glinting in his eyes.

"Keep your eyes open next time," he'd say, as if she was younger one, as if he held secrets she could never decipher.

And then...something had changed. When their mother left, the restaurant became quiet. And Elias--he'd clung to his mom when Eris and her father had let go, but still...he had lost something. 

It had only gone downhill from there. The accident with Mei had sucked the life out of him, left his eyes flat and unfeeling beneath all that deceptive charm. That picture of Mei and Luke flashed in her mind--of cotton candy, a shining grin, her head thrown back in laughter. Luke, his whole face swallowed in a grin she rarely saw. 

My brother did this, she thought. And if the guilt crushed Eris, how much more had it been eating her brother away? How much more power had Judas held over him with that footage in his hands?

Eris sank into the chair beside his bed. "Thank you for saving my life," she said quietly, her eyes tracing the boyish features she hadn't seen in years. "But I have to...I have to turn you in."

He shifted under the covers with a sleepy hum, a wave of hair falling across his eyelashes. For a second she thought he might wake up. But he slept on.

Her throat burned with tears, but she held herself together and squeezed his hand. She memorized his face as it was now, the innocence in the soft curve of his lashes, in the peaceful tilt of his brows. Innocence that could take her back in time, if she tried hard enough.

I'm sorry.

She called Adriel the moment she left his room, heart in her stomach.

"Hello?" came his gruff voice.

"It's Eris," she said. "I have something to give you."

✧

shorter chapter, but hey, another update in one week!

anyways, hello!! how are you today?  

i hope you're happy and doing well :)

i'm going to be honest--i've been struggling with this book lately because it feels slow and dull. i want to finish it and move on to newer things because of how much inspiration i've been getting lately. basically, i'm in a writer's slump with scandal.

i'll keep working hard to write more chapters because i do feel connected to eris's story. but i just wanted to get that off my chest and share that with you.

but on a brighter note, thank you again for your support! i love you a lot and really appreciate it.

please take care of yourself and sleep well! until next time, 

❥ krissy