One week had gone by after the fatal confrontation. Rhea had received no phone calls since that day and she convinced herself that she was glad. It was what she had wanted all along. Then she wondered why she was sitting next to the phone and checking more than hundred times whether it was working or not.

It was not as if she was wishing for him to call her. She was just surprised he had finally given up on her. When he had promised he would never let her go. Although she deserved it, she knew. She did not know why she was having second thoughts. It was better to keep things as they were; she had managed to destroy everything she had without much help from others.

Even Zoey was avoiding her and Rhea no longer knew what to think. It would seem that she had been right to assume that every relationship of hers was borrowed from Adam’s account. She was such a pathetic person that she had to borrow from someone else’s friendship.

But it was better that way, she told herself for the umpteenth time holding her coffee mug in both hands staring sordidly at the phone. The silence was killing her; it was so damn obvious. She knew he would not be calling her again and she had refrained from stepping out of her apartment ever since she had fought with Adam.

She was still apprehensive about meeting the Coopers and the Crightons; she just knew that they would blame her for everything and side up with their son. They would never understand that it had been her only choice; she had not meant to destroy Adam like that. But she had been left with only that option especially when he had started playing games. It had been dangerous. Dangerous because she had been on the verge on giving up to him. Of believing in unconditional love.

It would have been a fatal mistake; she would have been dependent on him for her every happiness. And that would not do. She, Rhea Palmer was a loner. She would now move to New York and make her own life. Her own relationships. Her own friends. No more borrowing; no more dependence.

Even if she regretted the words she had said to Adam, it was the only way she had to be able to break free from his hold on her. He loved her too much to let her go on her own. Now that she was the guilty party, no one else would stop her from making her own path. From taking her own flight.

Except she was not feeling too good about herself. She should not have said those words to Adam. Since she had definitely not meant them. And she had a feeling that he would never forgive her for the ultimate blow she had delivered. She was not regretting of having said no to his love. No, for that she was sure she would never have been able to maintain such an intense love in her life.

She was only regretting the easy relationship they had shared. Now she knew that things would be even worse than before. When there had been awkward glances and polite smiles after he had propositioned her, now there would be cold indifference and denial. And Heaven knew how much she had tried to avoid coming to that particular turning point.

That was why she had concocted that plan of hers in the first place. To be able to break off neatly. Except destiny had something else reserved for her. It was either she lost Adam forever or she accepted to increase his stance in her life.

And she had made her choice. And so had her so-called friends. Neither Zach nor Zoey had bothered to pay her a visit since last week. Neither had called her to inquire if she was fine. It was what she had expected ever since the beginning. They were friends of Adam’s not hers.

That mere fact hurt her so much that she realized how artificial everything had been. Well, it was life and she would just have to deal with it. Just like she had done all her life. Wallowing in her self-pity mood, she threw away her untouched coffee in the sink and washed down the liquid.

Everything was wasted on her lately, she felt like a recluse living her life imprisoned in her own house. Unwilling to go out; unwilling to move on. Hell, she was not even finding the strength to go back to New York. It was like she knew she had done something destructive and could not even repair her damage.

“Rhea?” somebody called making her jump out of her reverie.

The front door opened and Aunt Selena came in holding something in her hand. Rhea was glad to see her; it had been a long time since they had a one-to-one and right now she needed a friend more than anything. Someone she could share her feelings with.

“Aunt Selena!” she exclaimed joining her in the living room. “Is that my favorite pie you’re holding?” she asked enthusiastically her foul mood evaporating. Trust Aunt Selena to make her feel special even in the worst times.

“Of course, honey,” she replied hugging her before handing her over the cake. “Here, keep it in the oven you can have it when I’m gone.”

Rhea took the cake and could not resist a peek under the aluminum foil; it smelled heavenly. There was nothing that could match a home-made apple pie. Suddenly, she felt a pang of regret; there would be none of that in New York. No one would bother to cook her favorite dessert or anything of that sort.

“So? What’s up?” Aunt Selena asked coming behind her in the kitchen.

Rhea was instantly alert. How did she know something was up? Had Zoey said anything? Had Adam said anything? Well, they would not have painted her in a good light and Rhea discovered that she did not want to be the complete bad guy before her departure. Not like she had initially wanted.

“Why do you ask?” she queried trying for a casual tone and turning round to face the elderly woman. One of the wonderful women who had come to love her and care for her so much. Was she going to break off her too?

“You didn’t come for dinner last night,” Aunt Selena said carefully and Rhea could have kicked herself. She had been so busy in her self-pity mode that she had completely forgotten about the dinner party organized for Uncle Ash for his birthday party.

And if Rhea knew better, Aunt Selena was never going to forgive her for that. At least not for forgetting about such an important family gathering. It was not as if she had a plausible reason for having skipped last night. Damn!

When she fell silent unable to give any explanation, Aunt Selena looked closely at her face. She must have seen something because after a few minutes she asked if something was wrong. So, Rhea concluded that she knew nothing about her fallout from the gang. Nobody had even bothered to remind her of the party. Not even Zach.

Not that they were supposed to know that she had forgotten about it but still they could have at least phoned.

“I’m moving back to New York,” she announced gruffly. It was for the best anyway; things would be easier to manage when she would no longer be around. But she felt hurt that the gang had moved on so quickly.

Aunt Selena frowned. “Zoey has not mentioned anything about it last night.”

Damn! She was under the misconception that Zoey was coming along too. It was going to more complicated than she had anticipated.

“I am going alone,” she said carefully not wanting to create any disparity in her tone of voice. It was better is she kept things a brief as possible since Aunt Selena was a very perceptive woman and would guess that something was wrong if she gave too much information.

“Alone? For how long?”

Damn! Why hadn’t she anticipated that question? She could hardly say for forever, Aunt Selena would pick up something immediately. And then before she could think of a white lie, the woman in front of her narrowed her eyes at her and then suddenly she opened them wide.

“You’re not planning to come back, are you!” There! It was more a statement than a question and Rhea knew she was screwed.

She heard a sign so loud that she had to look back at the woman again. She owed her the truth if not anything else.

“No, I’m not coming back,” she simply confirmed not giving any explanations.

Aunt Selena was not one to back down. She folded her arms across her breasts and waited. Rhea knew she wanted full details of why she was going away forever and all. But she would not give any explanation; she was free to do what she wanted.

So they both maintained a stubborn silence until Aunt Selena relented and she unfolded her arms. “Okay, I guess something is off. You and Zoey are not talking and I figured you had a fight or something. Is that right?”

Rhea shrugged looking out of the window not wanting to show how much she was hurt by their attitude. She had only wanted things to fall back like before. And now she felt as if she was the one who was at fault for everything that happened. Was is her fault if she could not love Adam back? Was it her fault if she wanted only friendship from him? And most of all, was it fair she was the only one who had to sacrifice her friendship with the others?

“Listen, honey. I won’t interfere. I know you two are grown-ups enough to solve your own problems. And I’m sure that whatever it is you will eventually work it out. But do you really have to go back to New York? And not come back again? I mean your whole family is here.”

Rhea wanted to snide. Family? Yah, right. Just let them know about her behavior they would all jump to defend their true son.

“I’m not part of your family,” she retorted back. “I have never been. I am only a charity case to you all.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

It was true and now that it was finally out, Rhea felt a light off her heart. She would no longer be indebted to them now. She would leave without a backward glance. It was what she wanted. To be free of so much love. So much love which was suffocating her.

“I have always felt like an intruder Aunt Selena. Everybody else belonged to some part of the family. But I am a loner. I never… I never related to that big family thing. Not like you believed me to. I always felt like I was pitied.”

Aunt Selena made a muffled sound as if she was in pain. “Well, I’m sorry if you felt like that,” she replied her voice husky with emotions and Rhea was mortified. She had not meant to hurt her like that. The problem had never been with them. They had always gone out of their way to make her feel better. Every one of them.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she amended quickly not meaning to offend her. “I mean I know you love me and all. But I always felt that I was given the special treatment because I was some disfavored case. All that protection and love has started to suffocate me. I need to be on my own to determine what I really want,” she finished lamely.

“I know we can be overbearing sometimes and it’s okay for you to feel like that. Even Zoey feels over protected from time to time especially with Adam and Zach always looking out for her. But I feel really bad when you say that you were never part of the family.”

Rhea opened her mouth but promptly shut it back when Aunt Selena lifted a hand to stop her. “All I know is that you are my eldest daughter. You were gifted to me when I could not conceive my own children after six years of marriage.”

It was true. Zoey and Zach were unidentical twins and they had come one year later.

“I don’t pity you. I pity your father for he will never know what a wonderful daughter he has. I blame him for everything that has happened to you. All the pain that he has inflicted on you. All the fights and disappointment. All for nothing. I could not even convince him of the contrary but what I could do was accept you as part of me.”

It was now Rhea’s turn to make a pained sound. Aunt Selena was telling her things she had never known. All she had guessed was that her father had dumped her on them and since they were good people, they had accepted her as part of them without any questions.

“The first time I held you in my arms, I knew you were mine. No matter what they said. And I have loved you like my own flesh and blood not because I pity you. I swear that I have never discriminated between you and my other children. You are my daughter,” she stressed on that and Rhea felt a big tear drop down her cheeks.

“I always thought that I was thrust on you. That I was a burden that you could not get rid of because you were too kind,” she said wiping off the tear impatiently.

“Never!” protested the woman vehemently. So vehemently that Rhea knew she was telling the truth. That it had never been like she had believed things to be. “I love you like my own but I know you don’t feel the same way. I have known that all along. You never call me mom. You never address me like you would a mother and it hurts. But I keep giving you space thinking that you will eventually realize that I love you.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Rhea. She had not expected so much reproach from the woman who had raised her. And the way it was being said was so sad that she was afraid she was breaking the other woman’s heart.

There was nothing Rhea could do about it. She had a talent of destroying persons who loved her too much simply because she was incapable to love them back like they wanted. There was something blocked inside her and she knew it. She was scared to love unconditionally like the rest of the family did. She was scared that one day she would just wake up and lose everything.

Tears were pouring down her cheeks now and she looked back at the woman she had hurt. The very woman who had been a mother figure to her. It would seem that wherever she went lately, she was destroying something precious.

“Come,” Aunt Selena said opening her arms and Rhea almost ran there for a hug. It felt wonderful to be cuddled with so much love.

“I’m really sorry. I never…”

“Hush honey. I know. It’s okay to be scared. You are scared to love us back because of your own parents. I understand,” she simply said cuddling her and for the first time of her life, Rhea felt like she belonged.

“I was scared to love you too. You were always so aloof so serious whenever I approached you,” Aunt Selena went on. “I was always so proud of you but could never told you since you always retreated back in that shell of yours. You never gave anything away. Just stared unseeingly while the others never notice.”

“So I understand when you tell me that you were over loved. I tried so hard to hold back knowing that the more I show how much I love you, the more you will run scared. But Rhea honey love is like that. You have to risk feeling powerless because your happiness depends on someone else. You cannot live your life like a recluse.”

It was what both Zoey and Adam had told her. Maybe they were all right. Maybe she was scared of committing herself to another person. And maybe she was doomed to never let herself be dependent on another for her own happiness.

“I have tried to be like you all,” she croaked. “But I feel suffocated when I am with you all. I can’t help it. I…”

“It does not matter,” Aunt Selena whispered caressing her long hair in a soothing manner. “I know you don’t have the power to love me back as much as I love you. And it’s okay. I love you anyway. Just never forget that you are and will always be my daughter.”

Rhea felt like a great weight was lifted from her heart. She had never thought that somebody would understand her like that. That she would be able to confess her real feelings to Aunt Selena without being judged or rejected.

“Go if you have to go. Travel the world if you have to but I know you will come back to me. You will eventually come back home because this is where you belong.”

Rhea lifted her head to stare back at her. “You mean that?” she asked disbelievingly. Never had she thought that Aunt Selena would allow her to go away from her. Rhea knew she had to move away; it was not even an option now.

She needed time to think and restore everything back in her life. Her mind and feelings were in chaos and if she stayed back, there would be someone else who would come looking for her offering for comfort or love. And then everything would be back to square one. She would feel suffocated again but unable to say anything since she owed them so much already.

“What about Uncle Jake and Uncle Ash?” she asked hesitantly not knowing whether it was a test or that Aunt Selena was really allowing her to be free. Her two over protective uncles would never let her go away from them for too long.

Aunt Selena nodded. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle them. Go find your own path honey. Live your own life. Make your own decisions.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate you doing that for me. I mean I know I have hurt you a lot and…”

Aunt Selena was already shaking her head. “Don’t thank me honey. I’m your mother. I should be the one to know your inner most feelings. But I promise you’ll come back to me when you realize one thing.”

“And what is that?” asked Rhea huskily almost afraid of the answer. There had been such a turn of events lately that she believed anything was possible now. Anything at all. For she had never expected someone to understand her like that. In and out. Like a real mother would.

Not even her best friends had understood her feelings and when she had been unable to convey her emotions, she had done what she did best. Run away from them by hurting them just so that she could break free of the hold they had on her.

It was bad she knew. Maybe she was actually a freak or something. And she felt bad for having hurt her friends like that. For having broken their hearts. Maybe someday she would be able to forgive herself for what she had done. Maybe someday she would come back and beg for forgiveness from them and not stop until they actually did it.

And by that time. Adam would finally get over her and they would be friends again. Not as close as they had been but still at least polite friends. If that was all she deserved, she would take it. But she was unprepared for the answer which was pending after her question.

“Home is always going to be here. Where your heart is.”