*Ryan POV*

My eyes fluttered open. I stretched out and then I realized there was a human attached to me. I screamed, "Brendon!"

He basically had a heart attack, "W-what?!"

I hugged him tightly, "I've been worried sick about you, Brenny Bear..."

He smiled and kissed my forehead, "I'm here now. It's where I belong and it's where I'm going to stay."

I kissed him intimately. He smiled, "Oh and I have a surprise for you and the guys."

"What?"

"Gerard Way is sleeping in our living room right now as we speak. We are going to perform some songs for him and he might just take us on tour with him."

I squealed, "No fucking way!"

Brendon laughed and took some clothes into the bathroom to change and so he could shower. I called Sarah, "Sarah! You need to come over! We might go on tour with My Chemical Romance! Today we are going to perform for Gerard Way!"

I heard her scream on the other line, "I'll be right over!"

I started changing my clothing quickly. I couldn't believe what was happening! In a little while Brendon came out in one of my favorite outfits on him. It was grey skinny jeans, a white button down shirt, and a grey bow tie. He was such a cutie. I kissed his cheek. I wore black skinny jeans, a long sleeve white button down, along with this rose vest Brendon had gotten for me before.

We met Patrick and Pete in the hallway. I assumed Brendon texted them the news or something because they both were also somewhat dressy. We were all about to walk downstairs together, but Brendon stopped me. He said, "After we do this can I take you out to lunch? I really need to talk to you..."

I nodded. I was a little nervous as to why he wanted to talk to me, but I didn't mind. He held my hand as we followed the boys downstairs. He knocked on the living room door and told Gerard we were ready whenever he was. I still could not believe he was inside our house!

He came outside the door looking extremely tired, but man did he look good with his messy red hair. He smiled, "So you guys must be the band I'm looking at."

Sarah walked through the door. I pulled her towards him and said, "This is our manager."

He shook her hand. The look on Brendon's face kind of worried me. I couldn't describe it, but it was a mixture of fear and something else. Why though?

Gerard asked, "So what's the band called?"

All four of us stared at each other. Brendon spoke up, "We aren't quite sure yet."

He nodded, "That's not the best start haha. Well let's get started I guess."

We all went into the basement where all the instruments were set up. We played a two songs. Both have been favorited by the audience. One was I Write Sins Not Tragedies and the other was Grand Theft Autumn. Gerard smiled during the entire show. He seemed to like how Brendon and Patrick switch places to sing and play drums.

By the end of it Patrick exclaimed, "Ah why isn't it the ballad of Peterick and Ryden."

We looked at him confused. He said, "Don't you get it? I combined Pete and my name together and then Ryan and Brendon's together."

Pete kissed him on the cheek, "That is perfect."

Brendon turned to Gerard, "We are called The Ballad of Peterick and Ryden."

Gerard smiled and nodded, "Looks like The Ballad is coming on tour with My Chemical Romance!"

We all cheered including Sarah. I was ecstatic that he said yes. Gerard said, "So I'll break the news to the guys that I found someone. Here's my number." He handed a card with his number on it to give to Brendon and Brendon gave one back with his number on it. He smiled, "I'll keep in touch, guys! See you soon!"

We all cheered again as soon as he left. I still couldn't get over the fact itself. I loved the band name, it was perfect. Speaking of perfection....I turned to Brendon, "You wanted to go to lunch?"

He nodded, "Uh yeah..."

I smiled and took his hand. I said to the guys and Sarah, "We're going out! Don't wait up for us!"

We drove to this really nice restaurant in downtown Chicago. The car ride was silent. It almost worried me. I finally broke the awkward silence, "Brendon? What's up with you today? You even seemed strange around Sarah?"

He didn't answer. More silence filled the car. He said he'd tell me, but what was stopping him from saying it now? I repeated, "Brendon?"

He simply said, "We are here."

We walked in together. He told the host his name and they immediately showed us to a table. We ordered some beverages. Just some Sprite for the both of us. I didn't know what to order. Of course I settled for just a salad and so did he. The waiter came back and took our order. After he left, Brendon tried to make some conversation, "So how are you, today?"

I asked Brendon, "I'd be okay if you would tell me what you wanted to talk about."

He rubbed his arm shyly. I nudged him, "Hey come on! You can tell me anything and you know that."

He shook his head. That's when I noticed a tear fall from his cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb, "Brendon...babe...what's wrong..."

"Ryan....I have two things to tell you. One is a horrible thing, but the other could be a wonderful thing..."

"What is it?"

He held my hands in his and looked me straight in the eyes, "Ryan...I cheated on you with Sarah...I kissed her...."

I was in shock. I felt sick to my stomach almost. My body was frozen and I couldn't move. I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. I wasn't sure if this was just a bad dream or a nightmare in which I was surely going to wake up from in a few minutes. I so desperately wanted it to be. I wanted to pinch myself just to check, but I couldn't breathe let alone move. I didn't remove my hands from his, but I did stare into those deep brown eyes of his.

I wanted him to know how hurt I was...my eyes reddened with tears forming in the corner. Now, I looked away and I tried to pull away, but he gripped my hands tighter. I said sternly, "Brendon...let go."

My gaze returned to him. He was on one knee...

Oh god Brendon, no....

He started, "Ryan, I've known you for such a long time. For that long period I was secretly searching for someone...someone I could trust and love with my heart and soul. I realized that that someone is you... I understand that love has endless meanings, but the only meaning I intend it to be for you is the real meaning, an intense feeling of deep affection. That's my feelings for you. It's deeper than the ocean and larger than space itself. You cannot believe how horrible I feel about cheating on you... I really do love you, Ryan Ross. Would you please do me the honors of marrying me?"

I stared at him. His eyes pleaded for me to say yes. He just kept hurting me though. I couldn't be this punching bag or this doormat that gets walked all over...I can't and I won't. I said, "I'm too upset to possibly answer that. You must be completely insane and deranged if you thought that breaking the news to me, then proposing would help one bit. I'm not saying I don't love you anymore, but I don't love you like I did yesterday... I have to go. If you love me...let me go."

He let go of my hands. I left him kneeling there. Not even some marriage proposal could cover up this burning rage I felt deep inside of me. I wanted to cry....I wanted to die.

Where was I to go? We just got an oppurtunity, but right now I can't stick around. I needed to go somewhere. What's the one place that would be the perfect getaway? Like Brendon once said on I think our first official date...Las Vegas. Las Vegas is where I'll go. I didn't know how I felt anymore, but I was done feeling. I was done feeling pain. That's all I felt, was pain.

That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. I knew I was going to feel pain, but right now I need a break from all of this...I need a break from the world. Brendon has broken my heart so many times and I let him, but now I question my love for him. I question whether I loved him like I once did. He let me go, which meant he loved me. But I meant what I said...I don't love him like I did yesterday.

He can only blame himself for these situations he puts himself into. I'm not going to stand here and let him continually tear me down.

I took a cab home. I packed some of my things and went to the airport for a plane ticket. I did leave a note for him....

"Beloved Brendon,

You know I love you more than life itself, but how am I supposed to anymore when you so very obviously don't reciprocate those same feelings. I don't love you like I used to. With all these things you do to me, you are breaking me down. Until you can prove to me that you do truly love me... I'm not going to be waiting up for you. I won't be in your bed every night. I won't be there for you to love. By the time you read this I will be in Las Vegas. I don't expect you to come after me. In fact, I kind of wish you wouldn't, but if you do choose to prove your love for me....have fun trying because I have nearly given up on us. If you love me let me go. Because these words are knives that often leave scars...the fear of falling apart. And truth be told I never was yours....

Yours Truly,

Ryan"

There wasn't much left to say I feared so immensely of falling apart... He didn't realize how much his words were like knives that left scars. I looked down at my wrists. The visible scars still there, but only partially. New ones would soon overlap and cover the old ones... New tragic stories to tell. New scars to show for them.

The familiar hue of bright red running down my wrists and past my hands... I said before that I would die without Brendon....but I think I would die just as well as being with him.

Oh the fear...the fear of falling apart.

(A/N I completely apologize for the short chapter, but it was an important one.)