Alice Lumiathin *TRIGGER WARNING*

   I was so exhausted after today.  I didn't even get a blink of sleep.  I'm just glad I don't have the weight of telling everyone the truth resting on my shoulders waiting for me to falter.  All I can think about is the chat Thomas' parents had with me.  That and seeing the crash sight.  That was probably the hardest thing I have ever seen.  Maybe sleeping will bring sweet dreams.  That night, sleep brought everything except sweet dreams.  I thought of Samantha, and her quirky smile standing next to Cia.  I thought of Christopher and his eyes staring straight into my soul while watching me stitch his leg.  I have nightmares of Emma's screams while she watches as we plummet to our death.  Then I see Thomas.  He wraps me in his arms as I softly sink into a sleep, but then suddenly jerk awake as the fake Thomas stabs me with a small titanium dagger.  Then I see Cia staring straight at me with a smile and face that will never be forgotten.  With that last thought I jolt awake into reality. I wipe the sweat that has gathered on my face off.  I walk around for a bit.  Then hoping not to wake Thomas or anyone else I sneak upstairs and look outside hoping not to see chaos, but sadly thats exactly what I see.  Everything is burning except Thomas' house. I rummage through my pockets, and pull out a razor blade.  I turn it around in my hands.  I pull up my sleeves, and put the razor blade to my arm.  I make five cuts.  I like the look of my blood.  It helps me look through all the terrible things I am.  I pull up my sleeve up to my shoulder and carve the words "killer" into my arm.  I let it bleed then I wrap it. I sneak downstairs again and go wash the blood off of my arm to make sure it won't stain my clothes.  I walk over to the sleeping Thomas, and sit by him.   I can't do this.  This is to much how am I supposed to protect all of them?  Thomas wakes up from him not feeling my head on his chest.
    "Hey what's up?" He whispers as softly as he can.  He motions for me to come sit by him.  "Can't sleep either?  I don't blame you."
    "I wish I could sleep, but every time I close my eyes-"  It's to hard to say what I see without crying   Thomas pulls me in close and whispers softly to me telling me everything is okay until I finally fall into a dreamless sleep.
*****
    I wake up from Thomas stretching. When he opens his eyes he looks down at me and smiles.
    "Good morning Sleeping Beauty."  He half whispers.  Aww he called me his sleeping beauty.
    "Good morning  Prince Charming.  Your hair isn't so charming this morning so I take it you slept good."
    "Yes actually, and so did you."  No one else was up yet so we decided to get breakfast.  We had cereal which had never tasted this good in my entire life.  Same with the milk and tea.  Thomas knows exactly how I make my tea which is cute in a creepy sort of way.  He likes me I can tell.  I can't let my emotions get all tangled up in my work though. 
    "Emma and Christopher look so cute.  I just hope that we can all get through this without losing someone else."
    "I know me too.  Oh by the way how does your shoulder feel?" I love how he looks out for me.
    "It's great, but sadly I think your parents forgot to take out the bullet."  I really wish his parents hadn't spoken to me about the aftermath of this whole entire thing.  It just made me frown and look down.  Thomas could tell I had something on my mind.
    "Well if you need help I can help you take it out."  Yes this this is perfect this is... No I have to focus on the mission at hand.
    "That would be great if you could."  So Thomas and I slid over  to the table that I originally was at when they patched up my arm. I stripped down to my tank top.  He stared at my bandaged arm, and saw that it was still fresh blood. Luckily the bandage covered up the words on my arm.
    "What happened to the rest of your arm?  It wasn't this bad before."  I didn't know whether to tell him or not.  I shook my head.  That's when he un-bandaged it.  His eyes grew big, "Yo-you cut yourself?!" I looked down and nodded. He shook his head, and just tried to ignore it. 
    "I know you probably hate me, but it's not that I cut my self because I want to, it's because I need to.  This has been my life since 6th grade, ever since that devil Samantha happened.  She laughed at me and called me fat, a coward, ugly, and so many other terrible things.  I never let that get to me, because I would write the things she called me in my skin.  It's to help me with all this stress Thomas.  I'm-I'm sorry." I looked down and started crying.  He bandaged up my arm again, and hugged me.  I was shocked. He gently put his hands on my shoulders.
    "You aren't ugly, you're beautiful, you aren't a killer you are a savior, You're not a coward, you are brave, you aren't fat, you are perfect just the way you are.  I never knew this could happen to such a sweet girl, but I'm not mad, and I don't hate you, and I promise I won't tell a soul, and I will ALWAYS be there for you."  I couldn't do any thing, but just shake my head and gesture to my shoulder.  I started to show him what to do.
    "Okay so first I need to unstitch the stitches... Just like this."  I flinched every now and then as I un-wove the stitching on my arm. 
    "Now I just need to separate the skin a little."  While he was watching me he flinched.  I started searching for the bullet in my arm  and pulled it out. I started to bleed so Thomas put a towel underneath the wound.  I showed him the bullet.
    "Now Thomas you will need to do this next step.  I'm going to lay flat.  I need you to put some of the rubbing alcohol in it to make sure it sterilizes it."
    "How do you know how to do all of this?"  Well he is going to have to learn sooner or later.
    "Well I have been preparing for what is happening my whole life.  So I have known about what is going to happen for a long time."  I guess that about sums up my whole life.
    "Oh.  I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this."  Ow that rubbing alcohol stings. 
    "Ya well someone has to.  I guess.  So how are you holding up?"
    "Good I just wish there was an easier way to have it explained.  Some things happen though.  Just a quick question.  Where is the safe place?"  Do I tell him or should I not just in case?
    "Well it's not somewhere you would recall.  It's called the Chevekolian colony.  It's where my line is from."
    "What do you mean by line?"  Maybe I should let his parents explain this.
    "It's the origin of our family."  Thomas just finished stitching up the wound.  Then the unexpected happened... He leaned in and kissed me.
    "You just kissed me."  What just happened. This is not good once he figures out what happens when we get to the colony, he will no longer love me.
    "Yea I guess I did."  When I sat up Emma and Christopher were staring at us.   
    "I KNEW IT!" Christopher yelled as quietly as he could.
    "Knew what?" Thomas quickly gave me my sweatshirt back so I could hide the bandage, and the scars that were showing.Christopher knew that Thomas liked me?  That is a strange twist of events.
    "That he liked you of course.  Oh Alice I'm so happy for you."  Emma came and hugged me.  No this is not good.  I can't let Cia find out that he likes me and I like him, or else she will torture us all.
    "Aren't you happy?" Emma asked.
    "Yea just...shocked."  How can I not be shocked.