Serena swallows down sick as she stares down at her plate full of salmon and fishcakes. The meal has only just started, but the female tribute can't seem to stomach even a mouthful. The harsh reality of tomorrow morning is kicking in, meaning that Serena's body is burning with adrenaline, anticipation and fear.

"Serena, eat up. You have a big day tomorrow." Andonis, District 4's self-obsessed stylist remarks. Selflessness is becoming a prominent trait with the man.

"Hey," Roman places a warm palm on top of Serena's hand, and turns to her with a small smile. "Start with small bites. We need to have all the strength we can. Who knows when we will eat again." The thought of tomorrow morning makes Serena's ill stomach disappear. Her friend is right, it's food for fight, or else she could be the first canon to sound tomorrow.

The girl delicately picks up her knife and fork, starting with a small bite of salmon like her fellow tribute advised her. All the District 4 mentors sat gathered around the table, Bronte, Mags, Kai etc. Each stumbled over each other to give any last piece of advice they could. Yet Serena knew no heart-felt comments would be shared. The mentors had distanced themselves from Roman and herself as soon as the first few days were over. None wanted to gain a connection. Unlike Finnick, who's still fairly new to mentoring, had made the mistake to befriend the duo.

"Kai?" Serena speaks up, as she starts on her fish cake, encouraging a roasted asparagus end onto her fork. She looks around the table with a heavy heart. The man glances up from his plate, a forced smile on his face after realising this is the last time he'll see Roman or Serena, or even both. "Where's Finnick?"

It hurts Serena to think that her main mentor hadn't even showed his face at dinner. She had thought he'd be the first to congratulate her on her interview. "I'm not too sure, Serena. It's unlike him to miss the night before the arena."

"Oh lovely," Brisa interrupts, a beaming smile on her lips. "I saw him speaking to his lovely friend. What's her name? Lucindia? He always makes sure to visit her and her friends when he's in the capital. He's such a thoughtful man, is he not?"

Serena's heart drops. Pain, yet guilt, corses through her blood and the ill feeling from earlier returns. She feels sick to her stomach. She won't see Finnick again, because he's chosen his last moments to be with another woman. But is it his choice?

She gulps her water down and gives a weak attempt at a smile. "I see. Well, I guess one of you will have to thank him for us."

"We will. I'm so sorry." Mags mumbles to the two tributes. She seems to hold understanding in her eyes, but not for the tributes, for Finnick.

"No need to apologise, Mags." Roman pipes up. "I want to thank you all. So much. Before I leave this table I want you all to know how much I appreciate your guidance. This is shit. It's the biggest pile of crap, as you're aware of. But without you guys, I'd be.." Roman takes Serena's hand again and smiles at her. "-we'd be going in this completely alone."

Trust Roman to say the right thing. Serena sits in relief that she doesn't have to be the one to say the thank you.

Brisa fans her face as tears start to fill her eyes, creating a pool of misery. The mentors just look sadly at their plates. Guilt will always be within them, no matter how hard they try. They will always feel responsible for each and every tribute that dies with the assist of their poor mentoring.

It's only in this moment, that Serena realises the true life of a victor. The constant misery, never-ending memories, the substantial loses. Every, single, year. Her heart aches so much for the people around the table, that she has to dismiss herself, wanting refuge in the soft sheets on her bed for one more night before she says goodbye to her life.

***

There isn't a knock on the door to wake Serena up as Finnick enters her room that night. She's curled in a ball beneath her sheets, dried tears from her conversation with Roman. They had gone over their plan one more time in detail, and when he left, she broke into tiny pieces.

The girl stares at the screen wall, watching waves land on District 4's beach. Her back is to the door, so she only becomes aware of Finnick's presence when the bed dips. Serena turns her body.

"I didn't think I would be able to say goodbye." She smiles lightly in relief and sits up.

"I'm taking you to the launchpad tomorrow morning, so it's okay. We only have one stylist, and Andonis is taking Roman." Finnick explains. As the words tumble out of his mouth in a slur, Serena takes in the state of him.

"Oh, Finnick..." The tribute mumbles. His hair is stuck up in all directions. The dark shadows under his eyes aren't from any sort of lighting, but stay tattooed on his skin. He has a light bruise on his neck, and orange lipstick marks gleam from under his shirt.

"Serena," He means for it to sound pleading, but instead, it exits his mouth in a sob. And the girl smells the stench of his breathe, the liquor that she had witnessed so often negatively transform hopeful men. The substance must've numbed his brain, making his emotions burn bright to the girl sitting helplessly next to him.

Serena does all she can think and extends her arms outwards, and he falls into her. His cries continue softly but Serena absorbs his shakes and tears, protecting him from the nasty and disgusting capital citizens.

The tribute and the mentor know that whatever is happening, is wrong. Finnick is relying on a woman sacrificing herself for another man to keep him afloat and comfort her. And Serena is humouring it. Cruelly filling a weakened and broken man with hope. And she, herself, will be flung into a maze of death and deceit with only two thoughts flowing through her head; saving Roman, and leaving Finnick.

"Hey," Serena whispers as Finnick's cries silence. "Let's get you cleaned, okay?" He just nods his head and let's Serena pull him up and guide him to her cleaning room, which consists in a shower and toilet. He stumbles only once, and lets his feet drag the rest of the way.

Once they arrive, Finnick peals off his shirt quickly, but Serena can't help but notice his incredibly shaky hands. Whatever Finnick has put himself through today, he didn't understand until it happened.

"Slow down." Serena mumbles as she takes his hands, a sad look on her face. The truculent pulls away to turn the water on, and Finnick is already drunkenly pulling his bottoms down. "We're not quite there yet, Finnick." Serena jokes lightly as she looks back at him. He looks at her with a blush and a small smile.

"And we never will be." He swallows his smile and continues to pull all his clothes off. "I'll be fine."

Serena leaves the room, but she doesn't make it to her bed. She collapses weakly on the floor by the bathroom door as she looses sight of how to breathe. Her heart tightens and she cries out quietly. Everything in her is shrinking and shrivelling. She's breaking Finnick, a man who's already got little to live for. She's taken his heart and torn it in two, it's not the women that have made Finnick so drunk and pained, it's herself, too. He's come to the realisation that he won't see this beautiful girl anymore. He'll only witness her death for entertainment and see it splashed across screens all over the city.

Serena finally manages to stand and fall flat against her bed, watching the waves once more. Fresh, pathetic, tears form for a man she doesn't even love yet.

Yet? No. She'll never love him. Never have the chance. She first sacrificed her life for a scared young girl at the reaping, now for a broken boy with an older brother rooting for him at home. Serena can't forget about them.

As she cries, silently and unmoving, the bed behind her dips and Finnick wraps a strong and damp arm around her. She wants to scream at him for being so stupid and careless. "Finnick.." She starts but he never lets her finish.

"Stop. I know what I'm doing. Let me say goodbye." He kisses the back of her neck lightly, and pulls her closer to snuggle with a woman he'll never be able to hold again.

***

Serena wakes by the loud Capitol alarm ringing through the tribute centre to ensure everyone was awake and would be on time to the arena. She shoots up and starts to breathe heavily. However, she's quickly calmed when Finnick sits up beside her and hugs her soothingly from behind.

"You have 5 minutes to shower, Serena. Me and Andonis will wait for you and Roman at the elevator. Step on the box that instantly dries your hair, okay?" Finnick explains. He has to have his mentor mindset above anything else from today onwards. If he wants to see Serena or Roman again, he and Kai need to focus fully on getting their sponsors.

"Okay." She stands with him and he walks her to the bathroom, just like she had done for him the previous night. "Finnick?" She turns quickly with plead in her eyes.

"You're okay. We'll be okay." Finnick breathes before pulling her in for a lasting hug. "Now we both need to snap out of this, okay? This won't get either of us anywhere. Understand?" She nods her head and turns on her heel to take a shower.

Finnick walks out her room and to his own room where he quickly changes his clothes from the night before. It takes him less than a minute before he's in front of the elevator with Andonis nervously waiting with this hands clasped. Brisa also shows her face, tears radiantly glowing from her eyes. It's the first time since Finnick met her that she doesn't speak when she see's him, just stands patiently next to him.

"My darlings!" Brisa exclaims when Roman and Serena appear in sync. The tributes arrive in front of the 3 'supporters' and are both invited by a tight and warm hug by Brisa. "I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye."

Serena could only smile afterwards, and enter the elevator. It's up to Roman, like usual, to speak for them both. "Thank you, Brisa." For once, that's all he can manage before he, too, follows Serena. As the doors shut, Roman takes Serena's hand and they hold it tightly, silently.

"You have your plan well thought out, right?" Finnick breaks the silence and looks thoughtfully at the pairs hands. It cements the thought that Serena will not give up this boy to save herself.

"Yeah. We also discussed with the careers that we're all going straight to the bloodbath, as expected." Roman explains to his mentor.

"You'll take out the long distance combat whilst hunting? Use that as a disguise for them hunting efficiently?" Finnick's voice is stiff and un-emotional. It makes Serena's throat bob as bile rises up her throat.

"Yes." She manages to mutter out, which makes Roman squeeze her hand harder.

"It's perfect," Andonis explains. "It's unique and I know all heads will turn to you for sponsors after that stunt. Be careful with the two remaining careers and Ash, the District 7 male if he makes it through, okay?" The comments from the stylist makes Serena double take from shock. To the tribute, her stylist had been only that. But this is a new side of Andonis that she feels ashamed to only just be learning of.

When the elevator doors open, the four walk towards the transport loading bay. All tributes and stylists are lined in their districts, and each is escorted on to the transport. Serena's hand remains gripped to Roman's. The step forward and the peacekeepers guide district 4 onto the large plane. Her breathe hitches when she is separated from Roman and Andonis. The stupid girl almost cries out, but she remembers to stay calm. Serena takes her seat next to Finnick, and she grips into his bicep tightly, but moves her body so no one can see herself crumbling against the man.

She glanced around the transport and Alexis smirks at her and winks. From this cool yet confident transaction, Serena snaps out of her nerves. She lets go of Finnicks arm and smirks back until her view to the girl is blocked by the woman who has to inject her with a tracker.

Never did Serena think that she'd have Alexis, the psychopathic teenager with an axe, to thank for getting Serena into the killing spirit.

And just for a moment, Serena revelled in the idea of slicing the arrogant girls smirk right off her pretty face.

word count: 2213
a/n: get ready for
badass Serena!!