•◇•

"What's the point of playing a game you're gonna lose?"
•◇•

Sablesong walked into camp, a sparrow, a vole, and a red crownlet in his jaws. Their warm blood and juice had seeped through it's wound, teasing his mouth with it's tantalising scent.

But he must give his prey to the Clan.

He walked in, his clanmates at his side, they greeted him with friendly faces.

He strode over to the fresh kill pile, dropping his catch on the pile.

"Thank you, Sablesong." Snakestar nodded.
"You're a fine deputy. The Clan needs all the prey we can get after the battle with ElmClan."

Sablesong nodded back. "We certainly do. Thank you Snakestar, I certainly hope I'm stepping up to Yellowtail 's pawsteps, it's a shame we lost him."

Snakestar's eyes didn't dull, he merely nodded.
"It is a shame, he would certainly have made a wonderful leader, but you, Sablesong.. you will lead us into greatness."

"Why, is there a prophecy?" Sablesong exclaimed.

"One doesn't need a prophecy to see that you are destined for greatness." Snakestar's eyebrows were raised.

"Thank you very much Snakestar!" He beamed.

Everything is good,
He thought, walking away.
I am deputy of SpruceClan. My sister, Martenflight, was the medicine cat, as Swiftear had sadly passed on. My mother Dawnclaw is very proud of me, and so is Pinetuft. Meadowfang, Coyotefur and Maplebreeze are fine warriors - when I'm a leader, Maplebreeze will be my deputy. And not to mention my wonderful mate and kits, Appleshine, Hazelkit, Stoatkit, and Fawnkit.

The nursery was where he stood now, gazing in from the outside.

Appleshine was lying in her bed of moss and pine needles, her green eyes sparkling. Her long, ginger and white fur was beautiful and well groomed, and her plumy tail was twitching. Their kits were sleeping, curled into her stomach, and Sablesong purred.

He walked over to them, about to curl up next to them, when he resurfaced.

Cold, sharp water flowed over his head, drenching his fur. It sunk to his bones, spreading like veins of ice, and a glacier was forming inside his skull.

"Sablepaw. You were dreaming again, weren't you?"

The black furred apprentice looked up, seeing the wrinkled, furless skin or Bearkit, and a tall, bicolour queen.

He knew this queen. He had heard about her in stories, seen a glimpse of the enigmatic feline.

Cranestar.

The first leader of SpruceClan.

Sablepaw simply stared, not answering Bearkit's question.

"He's been dreaming again. Sablepaw, let old hopes die, you're dead! I'm dead! We'll never be warriors, never be deputies. We'll never be leaders!"
Bearkit hissed.

She turned to Cranestar.
"Every night! Every StarClan forsaken night. He has a dream of being alive, variation upon variation. Did you have kits this time? An apprentice? A mate? "
Her voice was a toxin, bitterness and envy melted into her normally cheerful tongue.

"Sablepaw.. there's a cat here to see you." Cranestar meowed.

A molly walked into the room, and Sablepaw stared.

She was very different to the other StarClan cats. There was something about Clan cats that set them apart. They all looked hardened, they all carried weight upon their shoulders.

This cat didn't. She had a youthful look about her, a cheerfulness that glittered in her eyes. She carried only the weight of time, and she wore it with pride.

"I am older than time itself, and younger than starlight." Her voice was breathy and lilting, melodies curled at the edges of her words.

"Who are you? What do you want with me?" He asked.

The molly was white, and translucent. This was odd, was she fading? In StarClan, no one faded. He also noted the rarity of her pelt colour, and her obscure hazel eyes.

"My name is Hiraeth. I walk the skies of the Empire, for I am the founder. Where those you know, Aquiver and Maplepaw now wander." 

Sablepaw was confused. 

Hiraeth then went on, explaining the Empire. 

Sablepaw noticed Dawnclaw lurking outside; she looked like she had been crying.

"Sablepaw, this is rare. I have decided to allow you and Bearkit to be reborn - into the Empire. This old life will be left completely behind - you will have no memories of it, you will forget everything. You have a chance to live.. Will you take it?" 

Her words formed like wisps, tugging at his hopes and lay tantalizingly out of reach.

"But.. I don't want to forget everything. I want to change what has already happened! I want us to go back to when I was born, but this time Dawnclaw wouldn't neglect me, and I wouldn't have the reactive attachment disorder, and Minkfoot wouldn't kill everyone, and Maplepaw would stay with us!" He burst out, his voice a barbed wire.

"But I want to live.." He was lost, tumbling and turning. A chance to breath air that he hadn't breathed before, a chance to breathe stardust and liquid inchor.

A chance to live.

A chance to love, and form connections.

A chance to burn his trauma to the ground and sing with the forgotten ones.

"I'll do it."

Bearkit had already accepted the offer.

Dawnclaw suddenly ran to Sablepaw, abandoning all pretense that she hadn't been lurking outside.

"I don't want you to forget me! I need you to love me!" She howled.

Sablepaw looked her in the eye, everything had faded. It was just Dawnclaw and himself.

It would never be that way again.

"Dawnclaw, I love you in the best way I know how. But don't be so selfish. I have a chance now, and you had yours. Our last exchange may not be so sweet, but if happiness exists somewhere, somehow, then I will find it. Devote yourself Dawnclaw, learn from this. Not every mentally ill cat is killed and then reborn. There are many who wander the Clans with hollow eyes and sick insides. You need to help them. Visit new queens in dreams, teach them to not make the same mistake that was made here. Teach medicine cats how to heal those who need it. Because I avoided recovery while others did not."

He paused.

"Do it for me."

Dawnclaw let out another sob at his words.

"I will. But you must live for me."

He nodded, and leaned into her, though discomfort burst like flowers from his spine.

He stepped away from her.

Hiraeth stood tall, her eyes suddenly burning with intensity.

It was instinctive.

Sablepaw began to walk towards her, and touched noses with her.

Her nose was cold, and he was wrapped in ice.

It surged inside him, touching the blackened areas of him mind, and melting his teeth.

Warm darkness encased him, and like Dawnclaw, he welcomed it.

After all, it was the only thing we ever know.

______________________________________

A/N:

I finished this.

Whooooo finally.

I'm actually very proud, considering this is the first fic I've finished.

Fact Of The Chapter: This has been planned from the start, except in the original version, it was a lot nicer. Sablepaw was actually alive, and it was just showing his future - no reincarnation. Note that StarClan cannot reincarnate, nor the City of Aurora - only Hiraeth.