Dallas's POV
--

Spencer is gone. So is the knife.

But none of that matters. My father is dead. He is dead because of me. It's all my fault. He jumped in front of me to save me. If only I had listened to him and never pestered him about fighting...

And now he's gone. Just like my mother.

This leaves me with the title of Alpha. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not ready. I can't do this. Maybe Stan can take it over until....

No. I am ready. I have to be.

He's gone. Oh, Goddess, no. He's dead. It's all my fault. My fault.

The pain and sorrow threaten to overwhelm me. I wish I could tear my heart out of my chest. I wish it would go away.

The grief I felt for my mother just adds to it now. Everything in me aches and burns from my physical injuries, but my emotional ones are worse.

I can't think properly, my mind hazing with grief. I can't go back to the pack right now.. Not like this with this kind of news...

So I sit there, broken and beaten, staring at the lifeless corpse of my father. The man who protected me for so long. The man who gave me purpose. The man who taught me.

I wait for the tears to come. But they don't. Surprisingly. I feel numb. I feel nothing. My pain has gone on a matter of seconds. I can feel the grief leak right out of me.

It's time. Standing, I brush off my shorts. I don't even wince as I rest my weight on my broken leg. I don't even wince when I look at the deep cuts along my torso.

I don't feel anything. The pain no longer matters. The rest of my grief gets locked up somewhere in my head in a metal crate, never to be opened again.

I stare at my father's body again.

I'll come back later.

With that, I walk in the direction of the PackHouse.

--

When I come back, what seems like every pack member is out front, lounging. I think they are waiting for my father and I to come back.

I'm about to disappoint them.

Nicole and Mica are chatting on the porch, Nicole sitting in a comfy chair, Mica leaning against the door and waving his hands as he speaks.

Nicole grins at something he says and then her eyes glance in my direction. Her mouth forms a word and Mica looks, too, along with everyone else.

I walk back, the grass swooshing beneath my feet. I don't care that I tore my clothes and all I have is a pair of shorts. I don't care that I probably look like I came back from the underworld. I don't care that I'm still bleeding urgently.

I ignore everyone, my intention only to go upstairs and sit in my room to figure out what I'm going to do. I want to be alone.

As I walk, multiple people call out to me to ask if I'm okay and where my father is. I see Doctor Monte struggling to go through the crowd to get to me.

When I reach the porch, I take the quiet steps to the door. Nicole stands and faces me.

"Damian?" She asks quietly, her eyes hopeful. I pause, turning my head to look at her and lock gazes with her. I don't answer, only staring at her unblinkingly. She stumbles, taking a step back in surprise.

I head through the door, walking into the PackHouse where a few Members who couldn't get outside sit. They all stare at me and ask the same questions as the other. I ignore them. Again.

I want to get to my room.

When I finally do get there, I can hear everyone milling around downstairs and about a quarter of them following after me.

When I step inside my room, I close the door. Many people come knocking and asking to come in and/or know what happened. I just tell them 'No.' And then they leave.

My bed becomes extremely comfortable to me as I sit in it. I stare down at the Mark on my wrist, fiddling with my fingers. I can feel nothing. Nothing is hurting. Anymore, at least. I haven't stopped bleeding. My leg is in a very uncomfortable position.

And then comes another knock; soft.

Nicole.

She doesn't even ask, just opens the door. "Dal?" I stare at her, face blank. She takes one look at me and her eyes seem to well up with tears. "You need the doctor." She informs me quietly. I don't say anything. "How do you not feel that?" I shake my head this time. Something lights up in her eyes; her hope.

Next thing I know, Doctor Monte is next to me; drawing my blood, checking my heartbeat, fixing up my gashes, fixing my broken leg. I don't protest, instead I rest my head against the wall.

After she leaves, I close my eyes. I am tired. That fight drained me. Nicole doesn't leave like I thought she would.

"I'm so sorry, Dal..." I swallow hard when she starts talking, keeping my eyes closed. My grief threatens to burst out of the box in my head that I put it in.

It doesn't come out.

"Dal..?" I open my eyes to look at her. I don't want to talk. "What happened? Who... Who killed him?" I know she already knows the answer.

I don't say anything. For who knows what time.

I close my eyes again. What am I going to do? I'm Alpha now. I have no idea how to do this. I don't want to be Alpha. At least, not yet. I have - had - at least two years left to finish learning from my father.

But now. Two years changed to hours. Then to minutes. Then to seconds.

I feel as if I'm hyperventilating, but I can't. No. I have to stay strong for my pack. I need to suck it up. My pack members need an Alpha who is in control. An Alpha who does not panic. Who does not give in to weakness. I have to be that Alpha.

I can already feel all the stress and the anxiety and the worry being rested on my shoulders. It's so much pressure, I feel like I'm going to cave in. And I haven't even done anything.

"Dal?!" Nicole asks, interrupting me from my thoughts. I just want one day to figure out what to do. One day. Alone. "Why won't you talk to me?" Hurt is evident in her voice. I really don't know what she wants me to say. She already knows the answers to her questions. "It's okay to be upset, you know." She says after a minute, realizing she's getting nowhere with me. "Please... Say something. Anything."

"Something. Anything." I respond gruffly, opening my eyes. She stares at me. So much staring today.

"That's not what I meant, Dal." Her voice has lightened, probably relieved that I said something. We watch each other for a few minutes, me trying to contain the swirling storm inside. "I'm sorry, Dal. I'm so sorry. I know you probably miss him and are ups-"

"No." I say quietly. "I'm not." She stares at me as if I've grown another head. "I am the Alpha now." Nicole frowns, not believing anything I say. I can tell she's frustrated.

"Well, remember that he is with you. Just like your mother." With that, she turns her back to me and marches out of my room. A spike of pain and guilt sears through me because I hurt my Mate.

"Nice going." Shock huffs in my head.

"Be quiet." I block him out.

--

What am I going to do?

Simple. I need to tell my Pack what has happened. They deserve the best of Alphas and I have to be just that. I can't fail.

After running my hand through my hair and leaning against the counter of the bathroom to wait for my nerves to calm, I head towards the stairs, a blank expression on my face.

I walk down, ignoring the eyes I feel on me, and stand at the bottom and call through the mind-link to all of my pack members that there is a Pack Meeting starting in five minutes. I hear a lot of replies and wait patiently as everyone directs their full on attention on me.

"Hello, everyone." I smile and lift my hand in a slight wave. "You may be wondering why I'm leading this Meeting and not my father." I don't feel anything as I continue on. "Unfortunately, Spencer Videns, Alpha of the Silver Moon Pack, has killed him." Several whispers break out, eyes widen, and gasps are heard. "That leaves me to fill this large role and I will do the best I can." I spread my hands. "This war was originally started to retrieve my Mate from the horrible hands of Spencer, and then it morphed into a bigger purpose; ending Spencer Videns' cruel ways. We will end his betrayal to his family and pack members." I can feel my voice beginning to ring with authority. By the end of the day, I will have gained every single Alpha quality. "We will end the killings." My pack cries in excitement and agreement. "Dismissed!"

Without a glance at anyone, I walk into the kitchen after hearing the thrilled voices of my Packmates.

Opening the fridge and feeling the cool air wash over me, I grab the bag of tamales and put them on the counter, hurrying to get a plate. After placing the tamale on the plate and in the microwave, I head to the dining table and rest my chin on my hands. No one else is in here so no one can watch me in my weak state. I lift my head, tilting it side to side to crack my neck all while watching the microwave's time. One minute left.

And then I feel something on my shoulders, gently digging into my shoulder blades and working my tense frame. Then, the sensation starts moving to a sore spot in my back. My arms shoot out, fingers gripping the table to support myself. My breathing picks up, the pain in my back leaving me wondering how I even got it. The knot in my back slowly eases, the sensation prodding my back gently before the sore loosens completely. An odd purring comes from my mouth, reverberating in my chest. My head falls forward to rest against my chest with my eyes closed. I don't even pay attention when the microwave beeps.

I instantly know who this is. Nicole. Despite the absence of anymore tension in me, she continues massaging my back.

I really want to fall asleep right now.

But then the hands are gone, leaving me feeling miserable. A warm tamale lands in front of me. I waste no time in eating it.

I can feel eyes on me the whole time.

When I finish, I rest my head against my hand, staring at the empty plate and fork. Nicole wraps her arms around my neck from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder. "You're so tense." She observes, her voice anguished.

I close my eyes, swallowing hard when she kisses my cheek.

"What's wrong?" She whispers quietly.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I say, feeling my voice come out monotone.

"No, you're not. Something's bothering you. Could it be Damian's death?" She asks gently, her nose pressed against my neck.

My eyes snap open and I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I'm fine." I snap, turning my head away and standing up, straightening myself. I can feel the knot in my back reform and I wince, cursing.

Before I can leave the kitchen, Nicole wraps her arms around my waist, resting her cheek against my chest.

"What happened to Dallas?" She asks, barely audible for me to hear.

"What do you mean? I'm right here, love." I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on her head.

"No. My Dallas. The laid-back, endearing, funny Dallas. What happened to him?" Her words sting.

"I'm the Alpha. I have responsibilities, Nic." She pulls away, looking up at me with pained eyes. I feel numb.

"Don't call me that until you start acting like the Dallas I know." With that, she turns and leaves. I don't feel anything.

Just emptiness.