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TWENTY EIGHT | A NEW HOPE

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PERHAPS, LIFE WANTED TO TEST Cassandra Mason's limits.

Maybe they wanted to know how much she can take before she breaks. A few days after she and Thor executed the intergalactic warlord, she discovered that almost all of her employees and even her assistant, Kathy, was among those who were dusted. Cassandra laid in her bed, her quilts covering half of her body while she stared off into space. She refused to leave her bedroom, drink water, or even eat properly, causing her skin to dry and pale. Dark circles were visible under her eyes and she lost a lot of weight. Her hair was lank and dull and she now appeared gaunt. It was as if Cassandra wanted to die.

She thought Thanos should have just driven a stake directly to her heart if he was going to leave her with almost no one. 

It was her fault. Everything that was going on was her fault. Everyone who died, it was her fault. Everyone lost their loved ones because she failed. She should've just died so that Stephen didn't have to give up the Time Stone. She was going to carry that burden with her until the day she died. 

Weeks have passed and the bedroom has now become a home to Cassandra's agonizing screams and weeping since she was starting to lose the will to live. Killing Thanos did nothing to stop the ache in her heart. She thought it might somehow make her pain go away, but it didn't. It did nothing. She just felt empty, numb. 

Everywhere she looked, memories of her, Stephen, and the twins flooded her mind. Her beloved's smell lingered in their sheets and she curled her fist, crumpling the quilts and bringing it close to her. It reminded her of Stephen's presence and the times they spent together. 

"Wanna know something, sweetheart?" She turned her head, picturing the time she woke up the first time beside Stephen. She recalled that she only smiled at that time, waiting forme out of his lips. "You are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning."

Gods, just take me away. She wished. If you won't take me away, then please take this pain away. I don't want it. I don't want to feel this anymore. It hurts.

Glancing at her drawer, her eyes caught the small velvet box that she found a few days back. A beautiful diamond ring sat inside it, shattering Cassandra's spirit even more since she found it on her birthday. He had everything already fixed, a reservation in the restaurant where they had their first dinner date, the marriage license and registration document, everything. She wanted to know when he exactly planned all this, when he realized he wanted to settle down with her because they haven't even talked about it. What made him realize he was ready to marry her?

That thought crushed her.

Stephen wanted to build a life with her. Why did this all happen? Were they not allowed to be happy? Wasn't it enough that she lost her father and her teacher that Stephen and the rest were taken away as well? She wanted answers for all the questions inside her head, but all she got were the words of her loved ones said to her before.

"I am always proud of you, my little flower." She heard her father's words.

"Master Mason, just as the next Sorcerer Supreme is destined to be the best, you are destined to be the greatest Guardian. That is your fate, your destiny."

"Cassandra, my darling girl, you are the strongest woman I know. I know you will overcome whatever obstacle you face." Olivia's voice filled her ears.

"Woah, I'm so getting used now to calling you and Cass, mom and dad…"

"We'll get through this together. You and me until the end, right?"

Letting out a cry, she hurled her vase at the wall, smashing it into little pieces on the wall. 

The woman then felt a cold wind sweep across her cheek, sending a shiver down her spine. She shuddered. Were they all here? Could they see how much her heart longed for them? She hoped with all her strength they knew. Now that she was alone, the silence closed in on her. There was nothing. Just her shallow breaths, my pounding heart, and the cry of sorrow drowning her brain.

Right after she had dried her tears and continued staring off into space, there was a soft knock on her door and in came Wong, carrying a tray full of food. She ignored him and only clutched her blanket as he set it aside by her bedside drawer and he sat down on the edge of her bed. He offered her the bowl of Thukpa she was sure he cooked, but she shook her head. "Cassandra, you need to eat. I have been informed you have not eaten for two days now."

"I'm not hungry."

"Cass…"

"Please go away, Wong. I'm not hungry, and I would like to be alone. Thank you." She turned to her side to avoid seeing her friend's dismal expression. She didn't know he was grieving as well, and he was giving all he had to not break.

Wong bowed his head, catching her attention. "I will not lose you here, Cassandra. I cannot lose another friend, so please don't give up." He pleaded, desperate. "We all care about you and I wish to all the gods I can take your pain away. I’m so sorry that you’re hurting right now."

Cassandra looked down at her hands, downcast and heartbroken. She was so blinded by her own grief that she forgot that her friend was still there. Thanos had still left her with Wong. She reached out to him, her vision blurry because of the tears. "I'm sorry."

Wong gripped her hand as if they were harnessing strength from each other. "Don't be. I know you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to cry with me. I am here with you. You don't have to go through this alone. You have me – all of us here in Kamar-Taj. We will get through this."

"It hurts."

"I’m sorry you’re hurting right now, Cass. I wish you weren’t going through this." He wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. "Let it all out. Grieve. It's okay. It's okay to not be okay."

Cassandra thought that letting it all out would help her heal, but it didn't. The bright, bubbly, and even ambitious woman slowly disappeared as the days went by. Her smiles ceased to happen, or if they did, they looked so dead. There wasn't any shine in her eyes when she smiled. It was like she was a plastic doll, eyes in a daze, distant. She didn't talk much anymore, either. She gradually became more reserved, distancing herself from others. Nothing mattered, because she felt hopeless.

And the shine in her eyes never returned, the smiles never alive.

She thought that the ache in her heart would ease. But, three months later, she found herself in front of Kamar-Taj, begging the gods to forgive her for giving up what they have tasked her with, leaving the life of a sorceress. The woman sent a short letter to Wong afterwards, saying that she needed time to be alone. 

And so began the longest and darkest night there ever was for the Guardian.

IN THE ISLAND nation of Tanakuatua, Cassandra Mason sought to find healing and peace.

Waves rippled gently as the former Guardian of the Sorcerer Supreme's feet sank into the coarse sand with each slow step she took. She was wearing a sundress, its hue the many pinks of a rose garden and its touch both light and soothing. Cassandra looked out on the horizon and found tiny waves throbbing on the line between sea and sky. 

The scene brought with it a wave of inner peace, exuding into almost a sense of euphoria, however slightly calmer. Fading slowly, it looked at peace. It felt like she was walking on a carpet of cotton wool, due to the softness. The indescribable golden sand swept around in a scythe of beach, followed by lengthened dunes. Observing the ocean, rivers of pulsating light marinated the sea with gold. 

A year had passed after the extermination of half of all life in the universe, and the former Guardian of the Sorcerer Supreme was currently staying in the remote Pacific island of Tanakuatua. She cut off all her communication with Wong and the rest of the heroes, wanting to exile herself. She had also not used her magic for a while as she didn't want to do anything with it. Everytime she used it, she remembered how much of a failure she was. That she had so much power in her hands, but she still failed to save Stephen and the rest of the world.

It was only in the stillness of the late afternoon that Cassandra thought he heard him calling her name. She walked to the seafront and gazed out at the waves. The ocean in front of her moved and the wind blew, but to her everything had stopped. She no longer heard the traffic or noticed other things. To her they were as if in a photograph - two dimensional and static. In that extended moment, her mind became at peace. 

Stephen was not gone -- just out of reach for now, she believed. 

A tug at the bottom of her sundress caught her attention and she inclined her head to see a little bronze skinned boy beaming at her. "Cass, va'ai i le mea na ou maua, o se atigi figota!" Cass, look what I found, a seashell!

She smiled, kneeling down to reach the child' height. "That is so beautiful, Aukai!"

"Ioe, e pei lava o oe!" Yes, just like you!

"Cassandra!" The woman turned her head to observe the group of children who were gathering around her. "When are you going to teach us more English?"

"Miss Mason! We are running out of medicine!"

A few weeks after Cassandra settled in the town of Vaiuka, she learnt how dire their situation was prior to Thanos' extermination. Home to only thirteen thousand people, the nation was facing a threat to their existence. Rising seas were on the verge of swallowing two of the tiny archipelago’s nine islands due to global warming, yet after what the intergalactic warlord did, it miraculously saved them all. The sand now stretched out far, and the former sorceress could see the sea floor, and the coral whenever she swam. According to the locals, before the death of all half of life, the corals were dead, the seas were cloudy all the time, and whenever there were storms, the waters batter the island from the east and the west, almost as if swallowing the country. Thankfully, no one in the archipelago lost their loved ones and they were all together.

The woman was welcomed as soon as she arrived on the island and that urged her to help them all in any way she can – financially, medically, and in teaching the locals' children with the English language. She buried herself deep into this work to forget her suffering and it was effective, or so she thought.

There were some nights when she would sit down in her living room or on the beach with a glass of vodka on hand, quietly crying to herself, and holding the ring Stephen left. She had made it into a necklace, carrying it with her wherever she went. 

"Woah! What is that?" breathed out one of the children just as the brunette felt the sudden shift in the air. A gust of wind blew in front of them as what she recognized was a quinjet hovered above them. Cassandra arched her eyebrow and put her arms around the children, ushering them aside, alarmed by the presence of the aircraft. 

"Tamaiti, ou te manaomia outou uma e o i o outou aiga i le taimi nei. Alu." Children, I need you all to go to your families now. Go.

With her eyes flashing violet, a ferocious pulsating energy emitted from her palms and she focused it to her small house, the magic covering the whole vicinity like a blanket. She eyed the quinjet as it landed on the wide open space not far from her, stern and ready to defend herself. Soon, its entry hatch opened and descending down the stairs were Tony, Paul, and Vesper.

Cassandra released a sigh, confused with their presence. "How did you all find me?" was the first question the woman spit out as soon as they confronted her.

"He had a very good feeling you were here." Tony, clad in an Iron Man suit, pointed to Paul who nodded. "And I gotta give it to you, planner, you're very good at hiding. Satellites around the world can't see you. Had to call mister elven king here to look and feel where you were."

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Why are you here?"

Vesper crossed her arms, her blonde hair fluttering in the wind. "Your friend, Wong, reached out to us two days ago. He was worried something had happened to you because your magical signature, according to him, disappeared from that… N-Nart… what was that again, Paul?"

"Narthex."

"Narthex, yeah. That's it."

The brunette sighed and spun around her heel. "Well, you can tell him, I'm fine, and go."

Paul interjected, "No, you're not."

"What?"

"You're not fine."

"Excuse me?"

He tilted his head, taking a few steps towards her. Cassandra watched him squint his eyes as if he was looking through her soul. She took a step back, a bit nervous he would see what she was really trying to hide. With his height of six feet, the woman felt as if he was overwhelming her. He was that intimidating. "You can't lie to me, I will know. Take down the illusion."

The sorceress frowned. "Illusion? Are you mad? I'm not – hey! Where are you going?"

Paul sauntered his way inside her house, standing in the middle of her living room. It seemed to be alive, glistening with lights and filled with detail. The table on the far right was near a bed that could work as a sofa or couch that had a lace covering and had sepia-colored pillows with various patterns ranging from no pattern to what appeared to be a spider web pattern. There was a sense of calmness to the house, a place inviting  deep breaths and for thoughts to slow down. The towering man clenched his jaw and once again confronted Cassandra. "Show us how you really are, Miss Mason."

"I – "

"Please."

The woman dug her nails for a moment, deeply contemplating what was being asked of her. Was she really going to remove the illusion and bare to them her true state? She shut her eyes and swallowed before waving her right hand in the air. A shimmering purple light brightened up the room and soon revealed her true condition. The room was a testament of her disarrayed mind, a chaotic display of memories of the past events. Lying around the floor were empty bottles of alcohol and strewned clothes. A shattered wine glass laid scattered above the wooden table, everything was slightly messy like her life. The illusion on herself was removed as well. Instead of a rosy sundress and healthy appearance, it was revealed she was wearing a black dress and she had pale skin, dark circles, and thin cheeks.

"Wait a minute, are you – are you using magic on the people of this island?" Vesper began to speak, horrified. "Are they under your spell or…"

Cassandra frowned, offended. She may not be stable, but she would never hurt or manipulate anyone, especially put a spell on someone to control them. "No, they're not. I would never do that. I may not be in the right state of mind right now, but I know what should be done. If I did ever use magic on them, I would know and stop it immediately or find a way to stop it. I would never cause harm to anyone, Vesper, unless necessary."

"Okay, okay, chill… I was just – "

"She's telling the truth." Paul interrupted the conversation, confirming what Cassandra stated. "Miss Mason's helping the people here. She only used her magic to conceal her appearance."

"If she's using magic, then why can't Wong see her in that globe thing?" Tony asked.

"Because she's using dark magic."

"You just know everything, do you?" Cassandra arched her eyebrow to Paul, sitting down on her chair.

"No, I don't. It's just that I've seen what you did back on Thanos' Garden planet." He countered, crossing his arms. 

The brunette pursed her lips and then relented. "My magical signature vanished from the Narthex because I am no longer using eldritch magic." expounded she, matter-of-factly. "I'm using small amounts of dark dimension magic at the moment to cast these illusions. It's the reason why I remained undetected in my teenage years when I started reading the Darkhold and almost destroyed the three Sanctums." She chewed the insides of her cheek. It's just… I didn't want the people on this island to see how miserable I look." She sighed. Cassandra didn't want the citizens to be worried about her. She wanted to keep it just to herself and assist them.

Tony glanced at his watch. "Alright, get up and go, get ready, planner. You have about fifteen minutes to pack up your things and we'll leave this island."

"Where are you taking me?"

Paul answered, "To a therapist."

"Mr. Vernon, I don't need to go to a therapist. I'm okay, alright? I am healing and I am helping these people." Cassandra ardently believed she was doing well. I mean, am I not? She thought to herself.

"Yeah, you're helping these people, but who's helping you? Healing? Look at this, Cass." retaliated Vesper, eyeing the bottles on the floor. 

"So, you're all going to take me to a therapist and – "

"Well, to a therapist and to your office." clarified Tony. "Pepper and I were thinking of getting married next Saturday. She wants you to be the one who will plan our wedding and our kid's baptismal. She also wants you, Happy, and Rhodey to be Morgan's godparents."

The brunette's head perked up at the mention of a wedding and godparents. She blinked. Pepper considered her to be her daughter's godparent? They were close, yes, indeed. Their friendship grew during the planning stage of the wedding. She smiled a bit, her mind going to places as she thought about the feeling of arranging events. She missed doing that. She missed that fulfillment in her heart whenever she was successful. What had she done to herself? Where was that Cassandra Mason? "I can go and organize that wedding of yours, Stark, and I would love to be Morgan's godmother, but I don't know if I want to attend therapy."

At this, Tony padded over to her, his hand gently patting her shoulder. "Hey, I’ve done it. Well, all of us did and it was really helpful for me. I thought at first it wouldn't, but it did." 

Then, Vesper sat down beside her and reached to hold her hand. "Cass, I see you’re struggling right now, and I think it could help you."

Cassandra looked at Vesper's hand. They were right. This was not healing. Though she was helping the people on the island, she herself was deteriorating. She wanted to avoid confronting what happened which was destructive on her part. Avoiding it won't help her heal. She sighed. "Fine, I will go, but you have to help me with the people of this island first. This town is running out of medicine and the government has a plan to build a floating island. Can you all help me with that?"

"I certainly will." chimed in Tony, raising his hand. "I'll tell Pepper to ring the Stark Relief Foundation to give them aid."

Paul nodded. "You have my word, Miss Mason. I will donate what is essential for this island and I will hire some of its citizens for the orphanage foundation Natasha and I are building."

Cassandra smiled, feeling a bit hopeful. The island had been helpful for her even for a little bit and her heart just can't stand to leave them in this situation. She stood up from her seat. "Thank you, I swear."

Vesper raised her hands in the air. "I have no money at the moment. I am financially dependent on Paul here, he's so fucking rich, but you can be sure I will give my full support."

The sorceress wrung her hands together. "Come on, I want all of you to greet the people here before you whisk me back to civilization."

Looking into the horizon of the sea where the sky and the water merged together and the waves covering each other, the sun reflected its rays from the water. Pastels of tangerine and indigo covered the horizon slowly and the ocean shaded to a cobalt blue. The sight made Cassandra's heart pound. In the last few months, there had been times that she thought she might never see anything beautiful again. 

"It is quite spectacular, Cassandra, isn't it?"

The former Guardian inclined her head to see Atamai, the elder of the island standing beside her. She bowed her head in respect and clasped her hands together. Atamai was one of the people on the island who could speak English fluently and was the only person who knew her whole story. "Indeed, Atamai, it is."

The two stood by each other in silence, staring at the spectacle, the fiery orange ball of the sun disappearing. In her peripheral vision, she could see Paul, Tony, and Vesper conversing with the other elders of the island.

"It was not your fault."

Cassandra turned once again to the elder.

"Oftentimes, when things go wrong, we blame ourselves because we want to maintain the perception that we’re still in control of the situation and ultimately safe – even when we’re not. We can’t fault ourselves. Every day, we are repeatedly exposed to conditions outside of our control." elucidated the elderly woman, full of wisdom in her words. She gently pressed her hand on the woman's cheek just like how a mother would comfort and show their love for their child.

"What happened out there, Cassandra, it was not your fault. Don't blame yourself. It was beyond your control." She continued. "You are not a failure and you will never be one. You think you have failed everyone, but you didn't, my dear. You have not failed us ever since you arrived on this island. You gave us hope when we thought it was all lost."

Cassandra's face contorted as though she was struggling not to cry.

"Cassandra Mason, you have the purest heart. You helped us even when you were in pain. I saw how you concealed yourself, but I didn't say anything because I wanted you to tell us. All your actions always have the best intentions."

The woman's knees buckled and she took the elderly's hands and grip it tightly to gather strength as the next words were spoken.

"Forgive yourself and let go."

Her heart twisted.

That was the hardest part. Forgiving herself and letting it go. How could she do that? How could she let go and accept that it was beyond her control? 

"You will be okay, Cassandra. You will be alright. It'll be all okay. "

Cassandra looked back at the sunset before her. Sunsets for her have always been the definition of a perfect conclusion. They often appeared as silky, smooth collisions of sky burst red and yellow in the night’s calm. They were a sign of late summer days and dawns of restful winter evenings. In her opinion, the sun marked the beginning and end of the day. When it rises, it marks the beginning of a new day. And when it sets, it signifies the end of the day. As the last edges of the reddish disk slipped away in the west, she felt the possibilities linger in the air and held onto her engagement ring.

"I hope one day, you find your peace and strength, Guardian."

No, the story doesn't end here.

There was a new hope for her.

This was just the beginning.

and there we have it. i feel like it is necessary to put in this. the next chapter of this is ready and i cant wait for yall to meet someone!! will release that chapter as soon as this goes over (unspecified) votes

a sneak peek, maybe?