"Final exams have been killing me! I'm so close to just falling over and having a panic attack" Anna said, throwing her school books into her locker.

"At least tomorrow is our last day; I'm more than ready for winter break" Mia said, shifting her books to her other arm.

It was still slightly uncomfortable having Mia back in our group although we all had made amends. When we had told Evan she was coming back, he hadn't said much. It wasn't until later, when he had come to peace with it, had he actually said something to her.

And at times, it seemed like Mia was trying too hard to become his friend again. It was starting to annoy Anna, and now it was starting to get to me too. Partially because I knew nothing would ever be the same between Evan and Mia again. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't undo what she had done. And although Evan was a pretty understanding and forgiving person, I knew he couldn't just let that go like it had never happened. Who could, really?

"How about you, Finn?"

"What?" I asked.

"I was just asking if you were excited about break." Mia said.

I nodded, "Yeah, who isn't?" I asked.

"We should all do something!" Mia said, excitedly, "like maybe get together and go see a movie?" she suggested.

My mind flashed back to the last movie I had gone to with her and warning signs flashed in my brain. No, we would not be going to a movie.

"Anna, Evan, and I were already planning on going to Max's party" I said, trying to divert her attention away from the movie theater.

"Who's Max? Max Holliday? The kid that picks his nose?" Mia asked, wrinkling her nose up in disgust.

I rolled my eyes, "No, Max Leeman" I said, "he goes to Riverwood"

Mia nodded, realization hitting her, "His dad is the ex-pro football guy, right?" she asked.

I nodded, "Yeah" I said.

I felt bad for Max. It was probably tough for him to know that the majority of people wanted to go to his party just to meet his dad. If he was going to spend all that time inviting people and planning it, people should want to go because it was his party. Not because of his dad.

"I'll go then" Mia said, smiling excitedly, "and maybe this Max guy is hot" she said

I nodded, "Oh, he's absolutely gorgeous" I blurted out.

Anna's head whipped toward me and I looked down at the ground, kind of embarrassed.

"Oh well that's perfect then!" Mia said giddily, "since I'm newly single I can start getting out there again." she said.

I was kind of surprised she didn't ask how I knew him, but then reminded myself she probably didn't care. Even though she wasn't with Kyle anymore, she still lived in a world all about Mia.

I pursed my lips, "he's actually not single" I said, holding my head high, as if I knew what I was talking about.

Anna looked at me and cocked her head to the side, questionably.

I shrugged discretely. I guess I just didn't want Max to be looked at as someone Mia could grab now that she was free.

"Ugh, all the adorable ones aren't anyway" she huffed.

"Evan is still single!" Anna said, jumping up happily.

As if on cue, Evan walked up to where we stood by our lockers, "thank you, Anna for bringing it to my attention I'm single" he laughed, rolling his eyes.

Mia tentatively shrunk away from him, lowering her eyes to her books.

Darn right she should feel embarrassed.

Anna laughed, her cheeks turning a slight shade of pink, "Don't worry about it," she said, "I'm single too"

Evan gave her a small laugh in response and he took off his glasses to wipe them on his shirt before putting them back on, "Uh, Anna? Can I talk to you in private?" he asked, adding a cough in towards the end.

Anna lightened up, "Sure!" she said, putting a skip in her step as she walking with Evan out the back door.

Mia looked after them, sighing, "I remember what it felt like to like someone" she said melodramatically.

I gave her a small rather forced smile, "having a boyfriend isn't the end all be all" I said, "Kyle just wasn't mean to be; someone better will come a long when the time is right" I said reassuringly.

She shrugged, "I sure as hell hope so because it's torture seeing all these couples around school" she said, nodding toward Becca and Colton, who were laughing together nearby.

I shifted my gaze away from them, "At least you've had a boyfriend" I muttered, not intending for her to hear me.

She offered me a smile, "I'm sorry Colton didn't work out" she said, sounding genuine, "I know how much you liked him".

I nodded. I had filled Mia in on all the stuff that had happened while she was gone, and needless to say- she had felt more than sorry for me.

I let my gaze lead back to Colton and I wondered again, what it would've been like if I had stayed in California three years ago. I wondered how it would feel like to be his girlfriend.

But then my mind flashes back to when I saw him kissing Becca, and I shook myself out of the fantasy. Colton wasn't the guy I had thought he was. I needed to get over him, because no guy like him was worth my time and energy.

Mia could tell I was hurting because she started ushering me toward the door, trying to draw my attention away from Colton.

I suppose when Mia wanted to, she could be selfless.

When we got outside I took a deep breath. Everything was ok. I was ok.

"Better?" Mia asked.

I nodded, "Yeah" I said graciously, "I guess now I'm just curious"

"What about?" she asked, shifting away from the door.

"If Colton ever liked me" I said, "I don't know, I guess I'm just curious if there was a point in my liking him for so many years"

Mia nodded, thoughtfully, "Yeah... wouldn't it be great if you could just ask him?" she laughed.

I laughed softly, thinking, "Couldn't I, though? " I asked, "Couldn't I just go up to him and ask?"

Mia stopped laughing, realizing that I was actually being serious, "I don't know, I suppose" she said, "Guys just aren't normally open with their feelings, I'm not sure if you'd even get anything out of him"

My attention moved to where Colton was exiting the building, Becca no longer at his side.

He had reached his car by the time I had made my mind up, "Talk to you later" I said to Mia, already sprinting toward Colton's car.

Mia shouted something back in response, but I couldn't hear her, the wind rushing loudly through my ears as I neared Colton.

I prayed he wouldn't start the car immediately; I really wasn't keen on the idea of running after a car. I wasn't that desperate to talk to him.

I reached the car, panting to a stop.

"Colton! Hey!" I said, knocking softly on the passenger's window.

Colton reached over to the passenger's side and opened the door for me, "You need a ride?" he asked.

I shook my head 'no' before continuing, not bothering to sit down, "Did you ever like me?" I asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

"What?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Did you ever like me?" I repeated, impatient for his answer.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I suppose" he said.

I mentally groaned at his pitiful answer.

"When?" I asked through gritted teeth. I needed to know now.

He shrugged again, "I don't know. Why does it even matter?" he asked.

I lost it. I couldn't deal with his oblivious stupid nature any longer. "Because gosh darn it I spent the entire beginning of this year completely infatuated with you!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air, "after everything was ended when I left, I couldn't help but like you!" I said, "and you have just been such a-such a" I searched for the right word, racking my brain, "such a dick to me" I said, finally settling on the perfect word, "You have no freaking idea how unhelpful you have been the past 5 months"

He looked taken aback when I finally ended, completely breathless. I knew I wanted to say more to him, but right now I was recovering from my outburst. And the fact that I had called someone a dick.

"I don't know what to say" he said.

I gave him a distasteful look, "When have you ever known what to say?" I asked him, placing my hands on my hips, "Do you have anything to say? Anything you can add to this 'conversation'?" I asked, putting air quotes around the last word.

Colton thought for a second before responding, "I just don't get why you would still hang onto what happened in 8th grade" he said, "I don't get why you have to continually obsess over me." He continued.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "I don't know if you noticed, but I moved away after 8th grade, and no one bothered talking to me after my brother died" I said, "I needed you guys and you didn't even care" I said, starting to grow angry, "and then I come back three years later and see the guy I had liked making out with my ex best friend that caused all the problems to begin with?" I said, exasperated, "wouldn't you be just a little upset?" I asked.

Colton nodded slowly, "I get why you're hanging onto 8th grade. It was the last good part of your life before your brother passed. And I understand why you'd blame Becca for your situation" he said, gesturing to me, "but it's not her fault. She liked me, so she did what she had to do"

I scoffed, wanting to throw up, "You're unbelievable! This situation is Becca's fault."

Colton's eyes hardened, "You're blaming this on Becca because it's easier for you to do that than blame your brother" he said.

"This is not my brother's fault" I said, defensively.

Colton gave me a cold laugh, "He died, Finnly. That is no one's fault but his. He's the one that caused you these problems. So keep Becca out of it" he said.

I grit my teeth and clenched my fists, wanting to bad to get my anger out by punching him.

"And I guess I do like you "Colton said, his tone still cold, "but I love Becca. So either you get over it, or move back to New York" he said, before closing the door and driving away.

I stood rooted in my spot on the pavement, completely dumbfounded.

How could I have ever liked someone like him? What had happened in the three years I was gone that had changed him so much?

His harsh words swam through my mind and all I wanted to do was sit in a dark room and cry. Was what he was saying about my brother true? Was it his fault?

I shook my head 'no', telling myself it wasn't his fault. He didn't choose to die. He didn't choose to leave his family behind, completely broken.

No. I wouldn't let him take the fall for this.

And now I knew where Colton stood. I now knew enough to decide that he wasn't worth it. Nothing I did would ever make him like me. And nothing he ever did would make up for what he had just said.

I suppose I had known it for a while, through Colton's silent treatments and cold shoulders, that he was nothing more and nothing less than a dull-witted dick.

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Check out my 'coming soon' story "The Paparazzi Puppet" ! :) It will be updated July 31st!

Because school is coming back in a couple weeks, I will be on Wattpad less, but will be updating more consistently :/ 

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Song of the chap- A Drop in the Ocean 

Love always- A