So today, December 1st, started an argument.

Someone was ranting how terrible they were, and someone cut in and said how we weren't doing anything, we were just messing around (Not saying names) and I got really really upset.

Because I knew it was failing from day one, everyone in there started chatting about random things in the important channels besides the one that was made for messing around in. I understand people get busy, but nobody was really doing what the project was about.

I wish I was a better leader and that I didn't give up so easily. Because I always say "I'm giving up" then next I say "I'm not fucking giving up" I don't know what to do anymore.

I still wanna cry even though I've calmed down a bit. But I know the project if failing, no matter how hard I try. People say they care, but they don't, people say they will work harder, don't lie to me. I hate liars even though I have lied.

I'm so close to calling off the project. Maybe I will. Because I want to help people, but that one person made a good point that hit me hard.

I want to call it off. I can't take breaks. Everyone else has to. I want people to know I care, I don't want them to hate themselves. They are beautiful.

I just can't stand it. No breaks for me. The only ones allowed to are you guys. Because I care.

Be happy, don't worry about me, I'll weigh you down.