There were no windows in Namjoon's room, but Eunji woke up anyway.

She was comfortably warm, cocooned in both the comforter and his embrace. She snuggled further into the blanket, a small sigh escaping her lips. But wait—she wasn't in her room, nor was she in her family's apartment. With a jolt, Eunji realized that she was in Namjoon's room, in Namjoon's apartment. She threw the comforter off and bolted out of Namjoon's bed. He stirred, a hand reaching out for no one. She found her clothes and dressed, the garments strewn on the floor reminding her of last night.

Last night.

She still wasn't sure whether last night's events had been real or not, but the clothes on the floor told her that yes, Eunji hadn't been dreaming.

She shook his bare shoulder. "What time is it?" he mumbled, still half-asleep.

Eunji peered at the clock on his night table. "7:34. We slept too much."

He sat up without warning. "That means Yoongi and Hobi-hyung are home. Oh, fuck. Oh my God, we have to get dressed. It'd be better if you left the room first because they're too polite to yell at you," Namjoon suggested.

Yoongi and Hoseok were sitting at the dinner table already. "Where's Namjoon?" Yoongi asked.

"In his room."

Hoseok stood up. "I'll get him."

Yoongi looked at her, eyebrows furrowed. "Eunji-ssi, you may be wondering why he so readily agreed to have sex with you."

"It's because we have mutual affection towards each other," she said. Wasn't it the obvious answer? They wouldn't have done it if they hated each other, anyway.

"No. There's an ulterior motive. Maybe he wanted to get you laid before, but there's a reason why he followed through this time. Now tell me, who initiated it?"

"He did."

"I'll have you know that Namjoon almost never initiates things," Yoongi said coolly. "He's said himself that he's not good at physical affection."

"And why is this relevant?"

Yoongi paused to take a long breath. "Has he not told you?"

"Told me what?"

As if on cue, Hoseok dragged Namjoon out of his room by the ear. "Tell her. She doesn't deserve to be left in the dark."

"I have to go," she said. "My parents—they're going to be so worried. They're going to be looking for me. I have to leave."

"You can stay ten extra minutes," said Yoongi. "You'll get your ass whooped either way." He grimaced. "I'm sorry, was that impolite?"

"It is impolite, but it's also the truth," Eunji mumbled. "Joon-ah, if it pains you that much, you don't have to tell me."

"Tell her, Namjoon-ssi," said Hoseok.

Namjoon turned to her. "Sorry, Eunji-ya, my hyungs' commands override yours. Anyway," he began, "my mom had her second stroke, and now she's on life support. Her first one was in November last year."

"Joon," she began. Her brain short-circuited; she couldn't form a rational thought. All she could think was what the hell what the hell what the hell. "Your mom's this close from dying, and you just kept it a secret?"

"Look, Eunji-ya—" he ran his hands through his hair— "I didn't want to worry you. You already have a lot going on with school and work, don't you? I didn't want you to get worried about me. Eunji-ya, I'm so sorry, I—"

"I know this isn't a good time to put more stress on you, but I just..." She trailed off. "If our relationship was any different, and if I were you, I wouldn't have told you this either. But given the circumstances under which we met, and given the fact that I've confided my deepest secrets in you, I just think that the trust should not be one-sided."

Hoseok nodded in agreement. "Joon-ah, when we all became friends, we promised each other that'd we call out each others' questionable behaviors in the name of love. This is what I'm doing now. We all want to help you...but only if you let us."

No one spoke after that. Namjoon swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut as the tip of his nose became red. When he opened them, they were the same shade as his nose. Instinctively, Eunji threw her arms around him, feeling the fabric of his T-shirt rub against her cheek. Something was dripping onto her left shoulder, and she realized that silent tears were falling. Now, she knew the reason behind those storm clouds that had hung over him for days. Eunji wanted so badly to part those clouds forever, coax the sun back out of its hiding place, and yet, she could only watch and pray for the storm to pass.

"Namjoon-ah," she whispered, thumbing away his tears, "I don't know what to say. I can't be angry at you, no matter how much I try. I want to do something about it, but I'm powerless."

He shook his head at her, a sad smile tugging at his lips. "You couldn't have known, Eunji-ya. I'm sorry for acting hostile without an explanation."

"Your mother's dying and you still think you're the one at fault?" Eunji stepped away as her phone began to buzz in her back pocket. She ignored it. "I should have asked what was wrong. I should have taken your nonverbal cues more seriously. I should have trusted my instincts. I should have." Her eyes blurred with angry tears. What was she angry at? Eunji wasn't angry at Namjoon, of course, but she also wasn't directing her frustration at herself. Rather, she was mad at the world, for making this happen to him, for taking the remaining, jagged pieces of his life and smashing them into even more, smaller pieces.

"Nothing's your fault, Namjoon-ah. I should've..."

"...Done nothing, like the universe intended. There's nothing you can do to help, anyway."

"But—" Eunji began, cupping his face in her hands, "Surely, I can do something, I can be of use—" She was searching his eyes, then, for something to hold on to, something to tell her yes, you can be of help. But there was only emptiness, acceptance—none of the desperation that she had now.

Namjoon removed her hands from his face. "As much as you think you can help me, there is nothing you can do to improve my situation. Neither you nor I can control whether my mother lives or dies. She could die this month or in 30 years, and Kyungmin and I will have to prepare ourselves for her death sooner or later." He took a deep, shaky breath. "And I don't know if anyone's ever told you this before, but don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm."

Eunji couldn't help it; she hugged him, as if a hug could make his mother wake up again. There was so much she wanted to say, but she couldn't find the words. Namjoon, I'm sorry. Namjoon, I'm here for you. Namjoon, stop trying to avoid your problems. Namjoon, don't try to act strong when we all know your life is falling apart. But none of her options felt right, nothing could encompass the emotions she felt for him.

Hoseok cleared his throat. "Now do you know why Namjoon decided to..."

Namjoon's cheeks flushed, and he removed himself from her embrace. "Who said that?""Joon, we all know that you would never—" Yoongi waved his hands around in no particular direction. "Use your brain next time. You know yourself better than we do."

"Anyway," said Eunji loudly, "I need to leave. Goodbye."

Yoongi nodded at her. "Bye," Hoseok offered.

Namjoon, meanwhile, turned to look at her. He gazed at her wistfully, as if he had something to say, but his mouth remained shut.

The three men watched as Eunji turned the doorknob, opened the door, and shut it behind her.  

a/n: prolly gonna rewrite this chapter (and the whole book maybe) after the school year ends. i'm gonna post one more chapter and then take a break from writing in preparation for finals

and thanks for 2k y'all!! omg <33333