Chapter Three
*Trigger Warning*

     The tile of the bathroom floor felt cold under my feet as I sobbed into my knees. Pain radiated across my body every time I inhaled, leaving my chest feeling compressed and out of air. My body was covered in new bruises and I sobbed as the memories of what happened a few hours ago played in my head.

---"YOU STUPID BITCH!" He roared as he pushed me down onto the kitchen floor. I pulled my arms over my face as I began to feel his work boots dig into my sides with a painful blow. I cried out in pain as each kick intensified causing my breathing to hitch.
     

     "YOU CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I WAS LATE TO MY PROMOTIONAL MEETING BECAUSE OF YOU" He grabbed a fistful of my hair and lifted me off of the ground. His large hand circled around my throat as he pushed me against the wall. His fingers dug right under my jawline, causing me to choke on the sob I was trying to hold back. He began to punch my stomach, I felt my lower ribs cramp and I gasped at the sudden lack of oxygen.--

     I pushed myself off of the ground, my head pounding from all the tears that I was shedding. I walked over to my sink and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess and my eyes were red and swollen from all of the crying. My nose was read and my cheeks were stained with tears. I squeezed the sink counter, my knuckles turning white. This was one of my worst beatings ... and I deserved it. I should have left my phone on me, I knew better. I looked down at the drawer in my sink counter and slowly opened it. I stared down at the razors that looked back at me. They were brand new, from my new shaving razor. New razors meant deeper cuts, sharper blades. This pain was overwhelming, I didn't want to relapse and hurt myself. But I felt like this was the only way to distract myself from the pain caused by my father. I exhaled heavily and pulled out one of the razors as I sunk back down unto the floor. I twirled the cool metal piece in between my fingers and just stared. Stared and thought about what happened. 

     "YOU SHOULD'VE DIED INSTEAD OF HER!"His voiced echoed in my mind as I flinched at the words. They were like venom, shutting down my nerve's system and causing my muscles to spazz.

     Maybe I deserved this. Deep down I knew I didn't. No one deserved this, but at the moment the rational part of my brain was shut off. All I was worried about was trying to ignore the sharp pain under my ribs and the sore bruises that were starting to get darker. 

     I gripped the razor, and sucked in a sharp breath. I shook my head and threw it away from me. I can't do this. I can't let him have any more power over me. I didn't want to hurt myself, but his lies were what was triggering me. I was trying so hard to ignore the temptation and the cry of my thighs to feel what had once been there. I wouldn't allow my thighs to be covered in self inflicted wounds while my body was covered with the aftermath of domestic abuse.

I stripped from my clothes and got into the shower, letting the warm water hit my body to soothe the bruises. I gently cleaned myself, careful not to hurt myself even more.  After my shower I changed into my night clothes and softly climbed into bed, making sure not to move to quickly to avoid unnecessary pain. I stared at the ceiling, the events of today playing in my head like a movie. I pushed those thoughts aside and stared blankly at the nothingness ahead of me. Although horrible shit happened not that long ago, I couldn't help but think about Namjoon. His smile somehow gave me reassurance  and told me that things would be okay. As my consciousness submitted to my body, my mind went into free fall, swirling into oblivion as my eyelids became heavy and slowly closed into a dream filled sleep.

--"Mommy!" I squealed as I saw her open the front door. The black long sleeved shirt that she always wore clung to her tightly, fitting her body perfectly. She smiled down at me and placed a soft kiss on my forehead before she headed to the kitchen.

The image dissolved and I was now standing inside of the bathroom, peeking over at my mom who held a syringe in her hand.

"What are you doing mommy?" I asked looking up at her with confusion. She looked down at me with shock and quickly put the syringe into the sink cabinet.

"Nothing sweetie go back to bed." She cooed and she led me to my room to tuck me in for the night. She pulled the blankets over my body and gave me a goodnight kiss. I watched as she disappeared from my room, scratching at her arm. --

A/N- Sorry for the short chapter. The next chapter will be longer and will be up later today💕Love you all✌🏼💗