A/N It happened again. Wattpad didn't send notice of yesterday's chapter. If you missed it go back one chapter.

Feeling tired, Gray sat in the breakfast room of a medium range hotel chain under the Whitby Enterprise umbrella. The continental breakfast was the standard fare. Monty had sent him on a tour of the Southwest, because the chain was experiencing an uptick in complaints and reduction in occupancy rates.

His theory was Monty wanted to put some space between him and Doyle. He repeated her name, Doyle, in his head, but preferred to call her K.

He looked down at his scrambled eggs and noted the breakfast quality was the same in Phoenix as it was in Flagstaff, and Albuquerque and Reno and so on.

He had yet to find anything egregious in any of the hotels he stayed in. Like so often, most were situated close to other competing hotels. When he returned to his room, he'd research the competition.

His phone vibrated with a text. Good morning. She had slept in at least with the time difference, but she had planned to edit photos from her last shoot.

The only thing his twelve-day trip was good for was writing. Austin had arranged for a kid in the book business to read his novel. Gray was nervous about having someone else read it, but that was why he wrote it. The kid must be hungry because he read it right away and provided a lot of feedback with the caveat that it was only the beginning of his rewrites.

The need to succeed and find a proper title for himself weighed on him. First was the burden of how to make it happen after years of hanging around and letting Monty support him. He was a unique version of a kept woman, but it worked for a long time. His second reason was a pipe dream. Would he ever be worthy? Every day, every phone call, and every text made him more determined. Yet he couldn't see an end game.

The one thing he learned was that a future of Whole Foods hookups, which lasted a week or two, felt bleak. He took a sip of his coffee and looked around. The room had filled up. The other guests looked content enough. Some were clearly on business. There were retirees who were probably taking a trip they planned for months. Because it was autumn, there weren't many families.

A tall blonde, dressed for business with a short skirt and see-through blouse like Doyle wore, approached his table with a cup of coffee, a yogurt and a banana.

"Do you mind?"

Her voice had a soft southern lilt. She was pretty, especially as she smiled when he reached out his hand inviting her to use an empty chair.

Six months before he would rearrange his travel to stay another night, but he had no interest in playing the game with her. Instead, he picked up his phone and texted words he usually thought, but didn't share. I miss you.

She replied with a smiley. When can I see you?

Although they had hardly seen each other, they had only grown closer. He replied, I'll be home late tomorrow. He had one more night in Tucson before heading back to Boston.

It was only a short drive and there were places he could stop along the way. One place kept him awake the night before.

"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders." He shrugged. It was the same weight he carried for years. "I have to get to work, but how about we have dinner tonight, since we're both traveling alone."

He smiled at her bold attempt. Another time, it would have made him hard. He might have even asked if she could be late to work. "Sorry, I'm checking out" He looked at his watch to let her know he had a time crunch, although he didn't.

Honestly, the thought of having more first time sex bored him. Hooking up with a stranger should have been exciting, but it had become old and pathetic. Knowing what made K hum was a challenge. Feeling more than a selfish release was something he had forgotten in his years of grief. Ironically, they hadn't had sex since the day she took the photos. They had seen each other a few times since the one outside her brother's house, but only to kiss and talk. The last time was at a function, and she wore a gorgeous gown.

When she slipped into the car, he said, "You should dance with wealthy eligible bachelors."

"I don't want to." Then she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Unfortunately, Monty appeared and threatened to tell her brother. Two days later, his best friend developed a concern for his hotel chain. Gray heard Sofia arguing with her husband. When the fiery woman kissed him goodbye, she promised to talk sense into her husband.

"Please don't. I like when you two are happy. It's not worth it." He lied, and her look and the clicking of her tongue meant she knew it.

Back in his room, he called the front desk and requested a late checkout. Most of the time, he was told it wasn't possible. To his surprise, he was told he could stay until noon. The drive to Tuscan wasn't far. He lay awake the night before because Beth had lived in Tucson. They had even discussed living nearby when they left the Marines. Gray had agreed since he wasn't interested in living in New Jersey. Boston had become his home and as he drove around for almost two weeks, he couldn't imagine himself living in the Southwest.

It didn't stop him from thinking about Beth and what could have been. Gray sat at the table in his small but comfortable hotel room. He searched other hotels in the immediate area to compare room prices. As he waited for the Marriott page to load, he glanced at his wallet. The brown leather was getting old and needed to be replaced. He liked the bi-fold, not the more common tri-fold style. Tucked behind his credit cards, one had his name on it, but was from Monty's account, was a picture of him and Beth. He used to challenge himself to lengthen the time between taking it out. At first, it would be hours. He was lucky he hadn't lost it when he was drunk. Then he would stretch it to a day or two. After he started traveling with Monty, he had gone a week or even longer. In the last few years, he rarely looked at it.

Alone in a hotel room with two hours until check out, he took the tattered photograph out. The first thing he saw was how young he was, but also happy. Beth looked just as happy. He had asked her to marry him, but he didn't have a ring for her. He had found some wire and twisted it into a ring. She displayed it proudly. They were young. Fuck. She worried about him surviving, but he thought she was safe.

In all the years he had been home, he never reached out to her parents. Years before Beth had introduced him in a video call, but he mostly sat and smiled at them.

Tired of the mental debate, he googled to find a phone number. He would let fate decide. He shut his eyes. They listed it which meant he needed to call. Maybe they weren't home.

When a woman answered the phone, he paused before he spoke. "Hello, I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Gray Hoffman."

"Oh, Gray. Oh, my goodness. How could we forget you?"

He cleared his throat. "I feel as if I'm a dozen years too late, but I'm driving from Phoenix to Tucson today on business and..."

"Come by. We would love to meet you."

"Are you sure?"

She chuckled. "I can't guarantee I won't cry."

"I can't either."

"When are you leaving Phoenix? You could come for lunch."

"I can leave anytime."

"That's perfect."

"Thank you, Mrs. Carson."

Like buyer's remorse, doubt set in. Time had healed over the deep gash in his heart, but it could open. Would he go back to that dark time and want a drink?

For years, he shied away from any lasting relationship, but even that had changed recently. It was unconventional, and he didn't need toes to count the number of times they had seen each other since she left his apartment with her brother. The weekend he took care of K felt like a lifetime ago, yet his feelings hadn't waned.

The reasons they didn't belong together were long. Gray could recite the list as easily as Monty. Her family. His alcoholism. He could never support her. He was too old for her. Her family. Her family. And yeah, her family.

He looked at himself on his way out of his hotel room. At least his khakis were wrinkle free, but his knit collared shirt looked rumpled. He could blame it on traveling, but he doubted Beth's parents had high expectations. They weren't like the Kanes.

He wavered between driving under the speed limit to delay his arrival to going five miles per hour over to get there and get it over with. One thing he could count on was relief once he pushed aside the weight he carried from not contacting the Carsons years ago.

As he drove, he thought about making a phone call, but K didn't even know about Beth. Monty was an option, but he could call him after. If he needed him, his friend would come to him, but he told himself he wouldn't need it. Monty had a wife and daughter. Gray had K. He could deny it, but he had deep feelings for her. The likely outcome was he would replace years of grieving with a new heartbreak.

His eyes kept staring at the white line as the road rushed under him towards closure or grief and tears.

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