17| Inner conflict
Four days after the escalation at Nora's, Zach finally gets transferred to the main ward. The doctors are pleased with the healing process so far and after a last ultrasound of his spleen, two nurses take him to his new hospital room.
The past few days, I went home twice to take a shower, change into fresh clothes, and to grab some sweatpants and t-shirts for Zach. I even went to my place once to pick up a few books I could read to Zach since I loved when he did the same when I was in hospital after Terrence kidnapped me.
When I arrived at my apartment, I found a new note from my father hanging on my door. It simply said 'Please call me, Ollie. Love, Dad' and a phone number was scrawled beneath it. Of course, I ignored it and I didn't tell Zach about it either. He has enough going on at the moment, and I don't want him to worry about me on top of it all. I also ignored quite a few calls from my mom lately. She doesn't know about the return of my father yet, and I don't want to open old wounds. I know as soon as I pick up the phone and she hears my voice, she'll immediately know that something's wrong, so I simply sent her a text that everything is fine and that I'm just pretty busy at the moment.
Nora gave me a call on the day after Jackson's meltdown and told me that he left her a message with the promise to leave her alone from now on. We agreed to not trust his words but for now she's glad to have her peace, even if it's only for a short period of time.
"Finally, some privacy!" Zach pulls me out of my thoughts and it's only now that I notice the nurses have left the room again after they helped Zach getting from the wheelchair into his new bed. Fortunately, he is the only patient in this room at the moment, so he has it all to himself for now.
"Join me?" Zach lifts the blanket and motions me to lay down beside him.
"But I don't want to hurt you," I object with a frown and eye him skeptically.
"Then be careful, but I want to have you in my bed. Now!" Zach laughs and taps the mattress beside him.
With an eye roll, I crawl into the hospital bed next to him, overly cautious not to touch his chest or stomach.
"Mmh... I missed that," Zach mumbles and rests his head on my shoulder. His soft hair brushes my cheeks, and I can't help smiling happily. I must admit, I also missed the feeling of having him this close. Holding his hands and stroking his cheeks is just not the same as lying in bed with him and feeling the radiating warmth of his firm body.
Knowing that he loves it when I read for him, I grab my outworn copy of 'The perks of being a wallflower' and open it on the page I stopped yesterday. I know, this is not the most cheerful book, but it's one of my favorites and Zach seems to enjoy it as well. As soon as I start reading, he utters a content sigh and moves a bit closer.
Eventually, Zach ends up softly snoring into the crook of my neck, so I lay the book aside and for a while I simply listen to Zach's peaceful breathing rhythm and enjoy the silence surrounding us.
I don't know how much time has passed, but Zach is still fast asleep on my shoulder while I am scrolling through my phone when the door opens and a blonde woman wearing a white coat enters the room.
"Aria?" I ask in surprise and nearly drop my phone.
"Oh, hey, Livie!" Aria walks over with a wide smile on her face, and I jump out of Zach's hospital bed as fast as I can.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, I work here, silly. Jake told me that Zach was taken here as a patient, so I wanted to check on him real quick," Aria laughs and her eyes wander down my body. "What happened to your stomach, Olivia?"
Looking down at my bruised belly, I clear my throat and quickly pull down my top which must've rucked up when I got up so abruptly.
"Uh, it's nothing. Don't worry about me!"
"Well, it doesn't look like nothing, my dear!" Aria counters with raised eyebrows and cocks her head.
"Liv?"
Fuck! I close my eyes for a moment before turning towards Zach who's giving me a stern look.
"Show me!" he demands with a slightly angry undertone. "Fucking show me, Liv!"
Reluctantly, I lift my top again and reveal the purple skin.
"What the fuck, Olivia?" Zach sits up a bit too quickly and contorts his face with pain. "Ah, fuck!"
"Zach, you shouldn't make such fast movements!" I scold him and help him lying down again.
"I don't give a shit, Liv." Zach reaches for my top and takes another look at my belly. "Why didn't you get that checked?"
His voice is way softer now and his fingers gently brush over my bruised skin.
"There's no need to!" Raising my voice, I back off and aggressively pull down my top again. "I'm totally fine!"
"Babe, I could make a quick ultrasound to see if everything is okay if you want?" Aria offers and takes a step towards me.
"No, thank you!" I grab my bag and my jacket and head for the door. "I need to go now."
"Liv, wait!" Zach calls after me, but I just shake my head and rush out of the room.
Tears start rushing down my face as I head down the corridor in direction exit and I'm more than glad that Aria isn't following me. My behavior might appear childish to her, but I don't really care what she thinks. After all, I don't have the highest opinion of her too.
On my way home, my phone is ringing continuously, but I ignore it. I know it's Zach, and I don't want to talk to him right now. It's not that I'm mad at him. No, basically, I'm mad at myself for reacting that way to people who are obviously just worried about me, but I just couldn't help it. I was reminded of my accident when the doctors also needed to make countless ultrasounds of my belly while I was at the hospital, and I felt that sudden urge to escape the situation. Very immature, I know, but it is how it is. I can't change the way I feel.
When I turn into my street, I stop dead in my tracks and the color drains out of my face. He can't be serious!
"Ollie!"
My father is sitting on my doorstep in front of my house. As soon as he spots me, he jumps up and gives me an insecure smile.
"I'm so happy to see you again, love!" He rushes towards me. "Can we talk?"
"You've got to be kidding me! I told you to leave me alone, so fuck off!" I shout out and turn on my heels. Without thinking about it, I start running down the street as fast as I can.
"Ollie, you can't run away from me forever. Please, give me a chance to explain everything!" My father calls after me a few times and I hear him following me, but I don't stop, and I don't turn around either.
I run as fast as my feet can carry me, and after some minutes, I glance over my shoulder, looking for my father. After I made sure he isn't following me anymore, I stop and lean forward, panting heavily and gasping for air. Before I know it, I pull out my phone and call Zach.
"Liv?" Like always, the sound of his voice is enough to instantly calm me down a bit.
"My father...he was waiting...I ran away...I think he's gone...," I stutter and feel my racing heart thumping wildly against my rib cage.
"Hey, calm down, baby! Where are you now?"
Noticing that I didn't even pay attention to where I was running, I look around, checking my surrounding.
"Only two streets away from your place," I answer and exhale deeply as I slowly recover my breath and the burning of my lungs subsides.
"Fine, I want you to go to my place now, okay?"
"Okay," I mumble and start walking towards Zach's house.
On my way there, Zach stays on the phone, and I tell him what happened and also apologize for my behavior earlier. When I admit the reason for my reaction, Zach reassures me that he understands why I ran away but he still thinks that I should get my bruises checked.
"I'll think about it, okay?" I say and feel a huge relief as I turn into Zach's street.
"Okay, honey. Uh... the doctor just came in. Can we talk later?"
"Sure, I'm at your place now anyway."
Once we hung up, I walk upstairs and lock the door behind me. After taking a long and hot bath, I snuggle up in Zach's bed and turn on a movie on his laptop. Since it's already six in the evening and I'm on the verge of starving as I haven't really eaten today, I decide to order myself a pizza. Twenty minutes later, the bell rings and I jump up to open the door.
"Aria?!"
Holy shit, can't this woman just leave me alone for once?
"Hey, honey!" Aria walks past me into Zach's apartment. "How do you feel? Are you okay?"
Closing the door behind her, I follow her and shoot her a disbelieving look. Is she fucking serious?
"Yes, I am okay. Why are you here?
"Well," Aria falls onto the couch with an exhausted sigh. "Zach asked me to persuade you to get your stomach checked."
Of course, he did! I'd love to slap his face right now. Why does it have to be Aria?
"Well, thanks. I'll think about it," I say and cross my arms. "Is there anything else?"
"Why are you making such a big deal out of this? It's just an ultrasound." Aria tilts her beautiful head and her jade-green eyes drill into mine. "May I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead," I mumble, biting the inside of my bottom lip.
Aria gets up and takes a step towards me.
"Is it possible that you are pregnant?"
"What?" I croak out quietly and try to ignore the burning in my eyes. "Why... I mean how... what makes you think... you know...that I'm..."
My voice breaks. Shit, I can't do this. I can't have that conversation with this woman. Who does she think she is asking me such a personal question?
"So, am I right? You are pregnant, Liv?" Aria shoots me an empathetic look. "Oh, honey. When will you tell Zach?"
Breathing heavily, I turn away and walk over to the window. I stare out into the dark and windy afternoon, trying very hard to keep my composure.
"Livie, darling! You know you can talk to me about everything, right?"
"What the fuck, Aria?" I turn around with narrowed eyes and glare at the way too beautiful woman in front of me. "Who do you think you are interfering in Zach's and my life all the time? He is my boyfriend, and this is our relationship. You aren't a part of it. Why can't you just mind your own business, huh? I don't need your fucking help!"
Aria's face falls and she looks at me with a puzzled and at the same time pained expression.
"I didn't know you were thinking that way, Liv. I really didn't mean to upset you." She turns to leave, but before closing the door behind her, she gives me a sad smile. "I'm sorry!"
After she finally left, I sink to the floor and bury my face in my hands. A cry of rage leaves my lips before I burst into tears.
"I hate my fucking life!" I yell and desperately tug on my hair.
As by itself, my hand reaches for my phone and my fingers dial my mom's number.
"Olivia, darling! It's so good to..."
I interrupt her right away, "Mom, father is back!"
My mom falls silent for a moment, and I hear her taking a deep breath.
"Did you see him?" she then asks with a shaky voice.
"Yes. He showed up at my place a few times already. He begged me to talk to him, but I told him to fuck off."
"Why didn't you call me sooner?" I can clearly hear the fearful undertone in her voice.
"I didn't want to pile this on you!" I mutter and aggressively wipe away my tears.
"Baby, don't worry about me! I want you to tell me everything what happened, do you hear me? And I want to know the whole story. I know when you're hiding something from me, so don't even try!"
A quiet giggle escapes my throat at her motherly and demanding tone. I know she won't let it go until I tell her the whole truth, so I crawl back into Zach's bed and start telling her everything. I tell her about Zach's tantrum when my father turned up for the second time. About how Zach and I got back together after that perfect day he planned for me, because all I told her so far was that we are a couple again. I also tell her about Aria and her strange advances towards Zach. Eventually, I tell her about my struggles with not being able to have kids and that I'm scared like shit that Zach could leave me one day when he wants to have his own children. In between, the pizza delivery arrives, and I happily start devouring my junk food while talking to my mom.
Like always, my mom listens closely before brushing all my fears away with her loving and caring motherly advice. She cheers me up with bitching about Aria and manages to give me back my certainty that Zach loves me. She also celebrates him for verbally attacking my father and for standing up for me. Before we hang up again, she tells me how much she loves me and that she will visit me as soon as she gets a few days off.
After our phone call, I feel much better and decide to give my boyfriend a last, short call before going to sleep.
***
The next few days are passing by without any noteworthy happenings. Eventually, Zach managed to talk me into getting my belly checked, and thankfully, Aria wasn't angry at me for snapping at her the other day. I even apologized for my harsh tone.
After she made an ultrasound of my belly, she informed me that everything seems to be okay and that I'm not pregnant. Well, I obviously knew that, but I still acted to be relieved and happy about it. She also told me to come to her whenever I need someone to talk to for which I thanked her with a half honest half fake smile. I just don't know what to think of that woman and her ambiguous signals.
Two weeks after Zach got beaten up, the doctors finally give him the okay to leave the hospital and Jake drives him back home.
"God, I missed being home," Zach remarks as soon as Jake has left again and we're both sitting on his sofa. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me onto his lap. "And I also missed this."
With that, he cups my face in his big hands and presses his full lips against mine. I enjoy the feeling of having some privacy with my boyfriend again. We had a few bold kisses while he was at the hospital, but it's just not the same as being alone in Zach's apartment and having some peaceful togetherness. Straddling him with my legs on either side of his body, I rake my fingers through Zach's tousled hair and push the few strands out of his forehead while our kiss gets more heated, and our tongues start playing.
When I feel him getting hard, I cautiously start grinding my crotch against him, earning a soft moan from him.
"Oh god, baby. It's been so long," he mumbles and moves his lips down to my neck where he starts caressing the sweet spot beneath my ear.
He lets his hands slide down my back and firmly squeezes my ass before pulling me closer.
"Move faster!" he groans and slightly lifts his hips to increase the pressure.
With a dazed smile, I quicken my grinding motions and am very aware of the growing dampness in my panties.
"Fuck, yes...I can feel your hot pussy through your pants, baby..." Zach mutters hoarsely and leans back his head.
Right in that moment, the doorbell rings and makes us both jump.
"Who could that be?" I ask, stopping my movements.
"I don't give a fuck. Don't stop!"
Giggling breathlessly, I start moving again. Faster and a bit rougher this time. Zach watches me through heavy-lidded eyes until his forehead furrows and his mouth forms an o shape.
"Oh shit...I'm going to come! Fuck, yes..."
Zach's arms wrap around me, pulling me close to his chest, while he buries his face in the crook of my neck, uttering a deep groan. I feel him throbbing in his pants and circle my hips to let him ride out his high.
After coming down from his orgasm, Zach mumbles softly, "Let me finish you, honey."
Right when I slide off his lap and Zach reaches for my jeans to unbutton them, the doorbell rings again.
"Just ignore it, baby," he says and strokes over my soaked panties. "Damn, you're so fucking wet!"
With closed eyes, I lean my head on Zach's shoulder and enjoy his gentle touches. He leans over, kissing my neck while adding more friction with his fingers, causing little moans leaving my throat at the blissful sensation rushing through my body. My orgasm slowly starts building up already when it rings at the door again, three times in a row this time.
"Zach, I can't!"
With an annoyed growl, Zach jumps up and rushes towards the door.
"Whoever this is, I'm going to rip his or her fucking head off!" I hear him opening the door. "What the fuck do you want?"
I quickly follow him into the hallway and roll my eyes when I spot Aria standing in front of Zach. Her eyes wander down to the wet spot on his grey sweatpants and she turns crimson in less than a second.
"Oh, I...uh...I just...," she stutters awkwardly and when her glance falls on me, she chuckles nervously. "Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to disturb you at whatever you were doing."
"What do you want, Aria?" Zach growls and crosses his arms. "I've seen you just a few hours ago at the hospital!"
"I know," Aria retorts and bites her bottom lip. "Actually, I came to ask Livie if she'd like to go shopping with me tomorrow."
Zach shoots me a surprised look and his mouth curves into an amused smile.
"Oh, yea. I think, that would be a good idea, don't you think, honey?" he states, grinning broadly.
Throwing daggers at him with my eyes, I uneasily smile at Aria.
"Uh...Alright, I'll come with you!"
"Wonderful! Be ready at eight." With that, she turns to leave. "And now pick up where you left off, lovebirds, but keep it low!"
Screwing up my face, I return back into the living room and wait for Zach to follow me.
"What the fuck was that?" I ask through gritted teeth. "You know exactly how much I dislike this bitch!"
"Whoa, Liv. No need to get so nasty!" Zach counters and steps closer. "I thought it would be a good idea. Maybe you two could become a bit closer that way!"
"I don't even want to be close with her. She obviously has a crush on my boyfriend, who really pisses me off at the moment, by the way!" I half shout and sink down on the sofa.
"You know what? I really don't get why you are so fucking jealous all the time!" Zach fires back and plants himself in front of me. "I don't think I've ever given you any reason for distrusting me, haven't I?"
Gnashing my teeth, I avert my gaze and cross my arms.
"Fine. I'll let you wallow in self-pity now. You can talk to me again when you come back to your senses!"
With that he rushes into his bedroom and pulls the door shut with a loud bang.
I huff and aggressively chew on my bottom lip. What a fucked up and unexpected turn of this day. It was supposed to be great, since Zach finally got discharged from the hospital, but instead it ended in an ugly fight. Zach might be right about my jealousy, but I'm really pissed that he told Aria it was a good idea to go shopping together.
I'm certainly not going to apologize right now. At least, not yet. I'm way too stubborn and angry for that at the moment.
With a grimace on my face, I think about that damn shopping trip with Aria. Why does she have to pick me up at eight in the morning? That's fucking nighttime.
I already feel stressed about tomorrow although it hasn't even started yet. I'll just try to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.
*****
A little filler chapter in between. Well, actually it got longer than I planned. lol
What do you think about the shopping trip? Would you have reacted like Liv? Or do you think Zach is right?
Please comment and vote.🦋
Katie❤️
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