Trembling like a leaf and petrified, I'm standing in front of my apartment and stare at the note hanging on my door. My heart is thumping wildly against my rib cage and my breathing is shallow.

Ollie, don't hide from me. I'll find you and I won't get off your back until you're listening.
Please, darling, be reasonable!
Love, Dad

Again and again, I read the obviously hastily scribbled down note until the letters become blurry, and I start feeling dizzy. When somebody enters the building, I get snapped out of my trance, quickly grab the crumpled piece of paper, and rush into my apartment.

A weird feeling of sadness, despair, and deep discomfort spreads as I look around in my hallway. The last memories I made in this place were throughout unpleasant and hurtful and I must admit I don't really feel at home here anymore. The place I once loved so much, and which used to be my safe haven doesn't provide the security and warmth anymore like it did before my life became a total mess. To be honest, I feel sort of homeless at the moment. Zach's apartment is nice, and I love it because I'm close to him there, but it's not my home and I don't want to be some kind of eremite, even though I know Zach doesn't see me as one.

Actually, I just came here to grab some stuff while Zach was still at work. When I left his place, I surely didn't expect such a wave of emotions waiting for me.

With a deep sigh, I drag myself into my bedroom where I pack some sportswear and a few more clothes before I get my laptop from the living room. Suddenly, cold fear creeps into my system and captures every inch of my body, making me shudder. What if my father shows up again? Or worse, what if he's hiding somewhere near and already waits to head me off once I leave the house again?

"Get a grip, Olivia!" I tell myself and take a deep breath. I won't give this idiot so much control over my life. Definitely not.

Just as I'm about to zip my duffel bag, something catches my eye. The little notebook I bought shortly before Christmas lies on the coffee table next to the charcoals with which I drew that sketch of Zach. A faint smile plays upon my lips as my mind wanders back to that morning. Zach looked so peaceful and beautiful as he was lying next to me, sleeping soundly, and breathing calmly. I remember exactly the tingle I felt in my fingers in this very moment. The same tingle I know from my teens when I started to explore my drawing passion.

Slowly, but surely, the fear leaves my body again, and I start regaining my inner strength and determination to not let my anxiety suffocate me.

After packing the little notebook and the charcoals into my bag as well, I leave my house and make my way to Zach's place. Every few meters, I warily look behind me in the expectation to spot my father dodging behind a dumpster. The further I go, the faster I get, and when I arrive at Zach's house, I'm a panting mess and bathed in sweat. As fast as I can, I run upstairs and slam the door behind me. The straps of my bag slip out of my hand and it falls to the floor with a thud. All the strength has left my legs by now, so I lean against the door and slowly sink to the ground where I bend my knees and bury my face in my hands, gasping for air.

"Liv?"

My head snaps up and my gaze falls on Zach who obviously just came out of the shower since he's shirtless and has wet hair. His grey sweatpants are hanging low on his hips, perfectly putting his v-shaped muscles on display.

"Hey, Livie!" With big eyes, I stare at Aria, who just appeared next to Zach and looks back at me with a frown. "What are you doing on the floor, darling?"

Darling? She can shove that word right up her sexy ass. I look back and forth between Zach and Aria and swallow hard. What is this woman doing here anyway? And why is Zach half-naked? He could have at least slipped into a t-shirt.

He comes over and crouches down in front of me, placing his hands on my crossed arms.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asks worriedly. "You're out of breath and all sweaty!"

"I was at home and grabbed some stuff," I mutter and look down. Maybe I should've just stayed there. I feel like I'm interrupting something right now.

"I know. You sent me a text, remember?" Zach lowers his head, searching my eyes and smiles at me as I look at him again. "But what happened? I know something's up. Did you see your father again?"

Shaking my head, I look past him at the blonde beauty who is blatantly watching us with curiosity written all over her face. Zach notices my discomfort and turns around.

"I think we're finished here, Aria, right?" he asks with a slightly harsh undertone.

"Oh, yes. Sure!" Aria retorts syrupy and waits until I got off the floor before brushing a soft kiss on Zach's cheek. "Thanks for your help, Zachy! I'll pick you up tomorrow at five thirty then. Bye, Livie!"

After shooting me a last sympathetic smile, she leaves and closes the door behind her.

"She'll pick you up?" I ask with a frown. "What's this about?"

"Uh, Aria just asked me to help her buying a new television."

Crossing my arms, I tilt my head and give him a look of disbelief. "A television? Seriously, Zach? Can't she do this on her own?"

"She wants a huge one and can't carry it up the stairs alone," Zach sighs and shrugs his shoulders. "I don't fancy going to the mall with her either, Liv."

"You don't get it, right?" I shake my head and angrily huff.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see that this is just a cheap excuse to have you all to herself?" I slightly raise my voice and give him an annoyed glance.

"What? No!"

"How can you be so fucking blind?" I snap. "It's more than obvious that this woman has a thing for you. The way she's gawking at you disgusts me."

Zach throws his head back and sighs.

"Liv, please, not again! We've had this conversation before. Even if you were right, it wouldn't change a thing between us. I'm with you, and I don't want anyone else, you don't get it, Liv, do you?"

I can tell Zach is getting angry as well since he runs his fingers through his hair and clenches his teeth.

"Fine. Do whatever you want with that bitch!" I shout, grab my duffel bag, and rush off towards Zach's bedroom where I pull the door shut behind me with a loud bang.

Only seconds later, I hear the front door getting slammed as well. Zach obviously left his apartment. It only takes a few minutes until my anger turns into insecurity and fear.

What if he is with her right now?

Damn, I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind. All this shit is taking a heavy toll on me. The return of my father, the rekindling of my most feared memories, and Aria's strange flirting with Zach on top. What if Zach regrets our fresh start already and only stays with me because he's afraid my mental state will get worse if he'd leave me again?

"Fuck!" I cry out and huddle up on the floor against Zach's bed.

"When did my life become so fucked up?" My voice comes out thin and I desperately tug on my hair, biting my bottom lip before I burst into tears.

Considering how much I've cried lately, I'm surprised that there are still tears left in my body. The last time I was such a mess was after the accident. Back then, I was constantly crying for weeks, locked myself in my bedroom, and refused seeing anybody. When my mom finally managed to get through to me and convinced me to go to therapy, I already created a wall around all those hurtful and scaring memories and emotions. I swore to myself that they would stay behind this wall forever and not even my therapist managed to crack me. Eventually, my mom ended the therapy since she and also my therapist didn't see the sense in it anymore. They said that as long as I would hide behind that self-built barricade, there would be no possibility to process what happened.

When my father showed up again after all this time, this wall somehow broke down all of a sudden, and I wasn't prepared for the tidal wave of emotions at all. If it hadn't been for Zach catching me at that low point, I would probably have isolated myself from the outer world again until that wall would have been rebuilt. Paired with all the troubles I went through the weeks before my father's return, every little worry or turmoil is simply too much for me at the moment and feels like an explosion inside of me.

I don't know how much time passes, but it feels like hours until Zach returns. When he slides the bedroom door open and spots me sobbing on the floor, he rushes over and falls to his knees.

"Shit, Liv!" He cups my face in his hands. "What's wrong? Don't cry, baby!"

I sniff and try to calm my breathing again.

"Did you go to her?" I whisper shakily and barely audible.

"Fuck, no!" Zach looks at me in confusion. "Of course not! Why would I do that?"

"Maybe because she's not a mental wreck." I shrug my shoulders and try to avoid Zach's piercing gaze, but his hands on my cheeks force me to keep looking at him.

"Liv, I just went downstairs to get some fresh air. I needed to clear my head. After ten minutes, I already felt sorry for leaving in the middle of our argument and came back. Besides, I was freezing like fuck wearing only those stupid sweatpants."

Looking into his hazel eyes, I think for a moment and take a deep breath.

"Do you regret getting back together with me, Zach?" I ask silently.

"What the fuck? No, Liv. I'm so fucking happy you gave me another chance. Never in a million years, would I fuck this up again. I don't give a fuck about Aria or any other woman. All I want is you. I know you're having a damn tough time right now, but I want you to know that no matter what, you don't have to go through it on your own. I'm here and I fucking won't leave you alone with that shit. You won't get rid of me so quickly, baby, do you hear me?"

His last sentence puts a smile on my face, and I softly giggle.

"I know it wasn't fair to react like this. My head was just completely messed up when I came back earlier, and I wasn't able to think straight. I'm sorry for bitching around," I say and smile when Zach gently kisses my forehead.

"It's okay. But now you tell me why you were that shaken up when you returned from your place!" He pulls me onto his lap and tightly wraps his arms around me.

The next minutes, I tell him everything what happened. I tell him about the piece of paper I found hanging on my door, about the ugly emotions which overpowered me once I entered my apartment, and even about my feeling of homelessness. Somewhere along, I start crying again and barely manage to keep talking.

"Honey, you know you can stay as long as you want, right? Your father won't find you as long as you're here, and I can protect you better." Zach warmly looks at me and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. "I like having you here anyways."

"Thank you." Returning his smile, I sigh and rest my head against his shoulder. "Gosh, I must look like shit. I feel like all I'm doing lately is crying."

Zach stands up and pulls me with him.

"Stop talking bullshit! You're beautiful no matter what and nothing can change that! Actually, those puffy eyes and rosy cheeks are kind of cute." He leans down and kisses me in the most tender and soothing way I can imagine before giving me a fond look. "Come on. I'll make us dinner. You need to eat!"

While Zach prepares a quick meal for us, I use the time to call Abbey. I haven't even told her yet that my father showed up again and so I snuggle up on Zach's couch, wrap a blanket around my shoulders, and have an extensive phone call with my best friend. Abbey nearly freaks out when I tell her about my father. She's one of the few people who know the story about the accident, but even with her I never really talked more about it. Before we hang up again, Abbey reminds me of her birthday party on Friday night at Nora's, which I nearly had forgotten amidst all the recent trouble. She also tells me to take Zach with me if I feel more comfortable with him by my side. Well, my best friend definitely knows me. After saying my goodbye to her, I join Zach in the kitchen.

"Everything alright?" Zach asks as he notices me and turns around.

"Yea. Abbey nearly lost it when I told her from my father," I retort. "She invited us to her birthday party on Friday. Do you want to come with me?"

Zach strolls over and places his hands on my hips.

"Sure." He leans down and gives me a soft peck. "I think, a little party is just what you need right now. It will be good for you to get out and see your girls."

I nod but in reality, I'm not convinced at all. Considering that every little thing makes me cry and shakes me up at the moment, a party with ten or more people isn't the best idea. At least not in my head, but we'll see. There's no way I can skip Abbey's twenty-fifth birthday anyway, so I have to bite the bullet, and at least I have Zach with me. It's going to be fine.

Hopefully!

*****

A shorter filler chapter with much insight into Liv's emotional life. I hope you still liked it. What do you think about Liv's jealousy? Would you feel the same? I would definitely be boiling in those situations, to be honest.😤🤭

The next chapter is going to include more action again. Promised!🦋

Please comment and vote.✨

Katie🤍