"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Zach asks me as soon as we finished packing my backpack. He came home after his workday about an hour ago and while having an early dinner I told him that I'd like to go back to my own place today.

"Yes, Zach. I spent the last two nights here and I need some fresh clothes. Besides, I think we should take things a bit slow," I retort and give him an encouraging smile.

Zach leans against the wall in his bedroom and crosses his arms. "Liv, do you have second thoughts?"

I put down my backpack and face Zach. "What?"

"Do you regret giving me another chance?"

Zach's eyes are filled with fear as they rest on me and watch me walking up to him.

"No, I don't regret it." I place my hands on Zach's chest and look up into his vulnerable face. "I'm still not completely over the break-up. It deeply hurt me that you left me after everything what happened, but I also know that you did it because you thought it was the best for me. I suffered very much, and I know you did too. I simply need some time to heal, okay?"

The relief in Zach's face at my words is kind of cute but also shows me how serious he is about us and it warms my heart. Trailing his hands up my arms, he tenderly smiles down at me.

"Okay." He places a soft kiss on my forehead. "Then let me at least bring you home."

"Alright." I stand on my tiptoes to give him a kiss. Just when I'm about to break away again, Zach wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. When he finally lets go of me, I chuckle softly, "Can we go now?"

Zach nods and grabs my backpack. We make our way downstairs and exit the building. The heaven is grey and cloudy and it's freezing cold as we start the ten minutes walk to my place. Thinking about the past two days, I must admit I'm overwhelmed by everything what happened. Being so close to Zach again felt so good and I definitely don't regret it, no I'm happy to have him back, but I also feel quite vulnerable letting him in again. Zach has the power to destroy my heart in a way nobody ever could, and it scares me immensely.

As soon as we arrive at my house, Zach insists carrying my backpack upstairs. After I unlocked the door to my apartment, Zach pulls me into a tight embrace.

"I enjoyed the time with you," he murmurs into my hair.

"Me too," I retort and pull away smiling up at him. "I'll call you."

I give him a gentle peck and then close the door behind me. A little time for myself is exactly what I need right now to clear my head. Deciding to take a bath, I quickly unpack my backpack and get undressed. I add a drop of lavender to my bath before I slide into the soothingly hot water. Immediately, I feel how all the tension leaves my body as soon as the warm water embraces me. Like always, I stay in the bathtub far too long and when I step out of it, my skin is already wrinkly, but I feel wonderfully relaxed. I wrap a towel around my wet hair and slip into my light blue jogging suit.

With a cup of tea and a bag of salt and vinegar chips, I sit down on my sofa and start searching through Netflix. My thoughts wander back to Zach's and my talk about getting a job. I know I need to find myself a job soon, but today I just want to enjoy the evening, watch some mushy movies, and let the newest happenings sink. Just thinking about starting to work as anything I don't like to be gives me a headache. Deciding to push this thought aside for tonight, I start Crazy, Stupid, Love and wrap a blanket around my body.

I'm halfway through the movie when the doorbell rings out. A glance at my phone tells me it's past 8pm. Who could that be at this hour? Maybe Zach? No, I told him I'd like to have some time alone and I know he respects my needs.

With a deep sigh, I heave myself up from the sofa and shuffle towards my hallway. The moment I open the door, my jaw drops, and I gasp.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I breathe and cling to the door handle. "Shouldn't you be in jail?"

"Ollie, love. You've grown so much. I...you know...I...," the person opposite me stutters and rakes his fingers through his greasy light brown hair. "I got out early for good behavior last month."

My breathing accelerates and I start feeling dizzy. Can't I have a little bit of peace? Just for once?

"Good for you. Now, can you just go, please?" I try to keep my tone nonchalant but fail miserably. My voice comes out croaky and shaky and I'm sure my wild heartbeat can be heard for miles.

"Ollie, let's just talk a bit. I have so much to say!"

"I'm done with you. There's nothing you could say to change this, so fuck off!"

With that I slam the door and rush into my living room where I start pacing. After a minute, I hear a pounding on the door and start panicking. For a second, I think about calling the police, but then I decide against it. Breathing rapidly, I grab my phone and dial Zach's number with trembling hands. He answers immediately.

"Liv?"

"Am I disturbing you?" I ask, trying to hide my anxiety, but I think my shaky voice says it all for Zach who knows me so well.

"Not at all. Are you okay, Liv?"

The worried tone in his voice is telling me he already knows something is wrong.

"Yea, kind of. Would you mind coming over?"

"I'll be right there. Do you want me to stay on the phone?" I can hear him rummaging.

"No, it's okay. Thank you, Zach."

I hang up and plop onto the sofa burying my head in my hands. The pounding on my door has stopped by now and I really hope this man has already left the house and won't show up ever again.

Less then ten minutes later, I hear deep voices in the stairwell. Another ring is to be heard followed by a gentle knock.

With my arms protectively wrapped around myself, I head for the door.

"Zach?" I ask warily.

"Yea," Zach replies on the other side of the door.

I quickly open the door and sigh in relief when Zach comes into my view.

"There was a man waiting in front of your door. He looked like a homeless guy. I sent him away. Do you know him?" Zach steps in and closes the door behind him.

I look down to my feet and nod while a few tears escape my eyes and trickle down my nose. Damn, why do I have to be so weak lately?

"Hey," Zach pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. He's breathing heavily, I guess he ran all the way over here. "Honey, you're trembling all over. What happened?"

I didn't even notice until now, but he's right, my entire body is shaking.

"That man is my father," I whisper into Zach's jacket.

"Your father?" Zach is obviously surprised. No wonder since I never mentioned my biological dad before except for when I told him about him teaching me how to play poker.

"He was in prison the past 9 years and got out two years ahead of time for good behavior. I didn't think he would dare to approach me again. Not after what he did to me." My voice breaks at the last sentence as memories are flooding in and overwhelm me.

"After what he did to you?" Zach pulls away and lifts my head with his forefinger. "Livie, what happened?"

Through tears, I look into Zach's worried face and try to control my shaky breathing. Zach quickly takes of his jacket before he gently takes my hand in his and leads me to the sofa where he pulls me onto his lap.

"Tell me, Liv. What happened?"

I take a deep breath and rest my head on Zach's chest before I start talking.

"When I was a child, my father started drinking. I think I was about ten and Jude was still a baby when I realized my father was acting different. He started coming home very late when I was already in bed, but quite often I was still awake waiting for my dad to come home. Sometimes he wasn't even able to walk anymore and slept on the floor in the hallway. I remember one day I came down in the morning and saw him lying there because my mom wasn't strong enough to heave him onto the sofa and I asked my mom if daddy was dead. Later when I talked to my mom about these times, she told me that every time I saw him like that, it nearly killed her but with Jude being a baby and the shortage of money, she couldn't leave him, even though she wanted to."

I make a short break and close my eyes. Zach's arms are wrapped around me and his warm hand strokes my back. After a minute of collecting myself, I speak on.

"My father's drinking behavior got worse when he lost his job as a plumber after showing up to work totally wasted a couple of times. I was about twelve when that happened. From this day on, he was permanently drunk and started beating my mom on a regular basis. I had to watch him hurting my mom again and again and I couldn't help her or do anything about it. The guilt feelings I had back then nearly made me lose my mind. That went on for about two years. When I was fourteen my mom finally mustered the strength to leave him and threw him out. Dad was furious and threatened to kill her and us children if she wouldn't take him back. I still admire mom's strength to stand firm. She did anything to keep him away from us."

I sigh deeply at the thought of my mommy. That time must've been like hell for her.

"After a year or so, he started to show regret and even went to rehab. During that time, we didn't see him or hear from him until he suddenly appeared on my sixteenth birthday and told my mom how sorry he was and that he had changed his life. He even got a new job and his own place, and it seemed like he was on the right way to regain the control of his life. My mom forgave him for the sake of us kids, but she told him she wanted nothing more to do with him and wasn't interested in rekindling their relationship, therefore too much had happened. My father was determined to change her mind and win her back and the next months he went all-out. He bought her flowers on a regular basis and took Jude and me to amusement parks and things like that. Shortly before I turned seventeen, he called me late in the evening and I noticed right away that he had drunk again. He was mad as hell because he heard that my mom had found a new boyfriend. That was the time my mom met Logan. One of our damn neighbors, a real gossip girl, couldn't keep her fucking mouth shot and told my father about Logan."

Tears are welling up in my eyes as I think of that one night. I haven't talked about it in years and now that I rake it up again, all the pain seems to wash over me like a huge waterfall.

"The night he called me, I was at a party with my friends. My father urged me to tell him where I was. He wanted to pick me up so he can leave the city with me to show my mom what she was missing by rejecting him. I refused to tell him, but somehow, he found out where I was. Although he was drunk as fuck, he took his car and drove to the house where the party took place and tried to force me to come with him. I don't know how, maybe it was because he was wasted and wasn't even able to walk straight, but somehow, I managed to run away from him. Our home was only a few minutes away so I ran as fast as I could. My father got back into his car and caught up with me. He was screaming out of his car and tried to talk me into getting into that damn car with him. I simply ignored him and just kept running. After the next turning, I thought he had finally given up, since I didn't see his car anymore. But then,..."

Again, my voice breaks, and hot tears start streaming down my face. Tears which are long overdue. I've been avoiding this topic for years and now that I finally bring it up again all my pent-up emotions crash down on me. Right now, I need to finish this story. For my own and for Zach's sake.

"Out of nowhere, I heard the roaring of his wannabe sports car behind me and when I turned around, he was coming right up to me. The next moment everything went black, and I remember waking up at the hospital."

Zach gasps and I feel how his heart starts thumping wildly against my head.

"Fuck, Liv! I had no idea. I...shit..." he stutters hoarsely and wraps his arms tighter around me. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this!"

For a while, I quietly sob into Zach's chest with closed eyes and let out all the pain I feel in this moment. After I calmed down a bit, I lift my head and search Zach's eyes. His expression is strained and hurt as he looks down at me.

"The doctors told me that one of my legs was broken, but other than that I only had a few scratches and bruises. They also told me they had to make an ultrasound because of the bruises on my stomach. Through this ultrasound they eventually found out that my Fallopian tubes have been damaged as a result of the collision," I croak out.

Zach's eyes widen in total shock and realization.

"Is that the reason why you can't have kids?"

I nod and try to swallow away the lump in my throat to prevent the next wave of tears from falling. Somehow, it felt surprisingly liberating to get this off my chest, but I also feel drained as rarely before in my life.

"Shit, that's so fucked up!" Zach mutters. "Your own father ran you over. Did he do it on purpose?"

I shrug my shoulders, "At the court case, his lawyer claimed that it was an accident, and my father didn't run over me intentionally. My father himself hasn't said a word during the entire trial."

I can tell by the way Zach's whole body tenses and his breathing accelerates that he's about to lose it.

"I swear to god, if I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out!"

"Zach, please...don't!" I breathe, not able to lay any sound into these words.

"Sorry, Liv," Zach whispers and tilts back his head. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It's not something I talk about," I reply and close my eyes as I feel a nasty headache creeping into my head. This whole thing is getting to me and I feel so worn out, like I just ran a marathon.

After a minute, I whisper feebly, "Zach?"

"Yes?"

"I know I said I need some time for myself." I look up and find Zach's warm gaze on me. "But can you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone right now."

Zach leans down and places a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Of course, Liv! I didn't plan on leaving anyway." A light chuckle leaves his throat and the next moment he stands up and carries me bridal style into my bedroom where he gently puts me down.

I take off my jogging suit and smile as Zach hands me his t-shirt.

"What are you going to wear?" I ask after slipping into it. Immediately, his familiar, masculine scent embraces me and soothes me.

"My boxers. You know I usually sleep topless," Zach retorts with a wink. My weak self nearly starts crying again at his thoughtfulness. He knows exactly how much I love wearing his clothes. To be honest, I think all women do.

Zach crawls into my bed and opens up the blanket for me. As soon as I'm snuggled up to him with my face buried in his bare chest, Zach plants a gentle and lingering kiss on my hair.

"I love you, Liv. Get some rest now!"

These three words seem to have the same soothing effect on me as his scent and so I only manage to hum in contentment before I give in my exhaustion, and space out.

*****

I have the feeling not much happened in this chapter, but it was essential for the story line. I hope you still enjoyed it. A huge burden of Liv got revealed. Did you see something like that coming?

And what do you think about her father showing up again? Did you guessed it was him at first?

Please comment and vote.🦋

Katie🤍