The barn was so quiet, the kind of silence that was deafening. It wasn't quite as dark outside, indicating it was early morning. I groaned softly, still not able to fall asleep. I had been awake all night but everyone else was resting peacefully.

The conversation with Jin hyung had stirred up way too many painful memories for me to cope with. My mind spun like crazy, making me dizzy, and all I wanted to do was turn it off. Not even laying quietly and listening to Jimin's calm breaths was enough to help me relax, no matter how exhausted I felt.

I refused to let the old, dark, thoughts take over again, though. I wasn't going to let myself fall back into that state. Instead, I just quietly pushed myself off the floor and stepped over my boyfriend, heading into the main room of the barn.

As I entered the room, I noticed Jungkook and Taehyung sleeping deeply. Tae was cuddled up, his arms wrapped around the maknae's waist with his head buried into his neck. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at the scene, it was sweet to see them like that. Comfortable, able to feel safe.

Two of the girls were in a similar position, close by, but that scene provoked a different emotion in me. Now I felt envious, wanting nothing more than to sleep and relax.

Namjoon and Hoseok also seemed pretty peaceful, heads resting against each other's shoulders, turning my envy into straight-up jealousy. I saw the bruise forming on Joon's jaw and shook my head, sighing.

I wanted the warmth of being held by a loved one, to sleep in their arms and feel safe...

But Jimin was still sleeping, still suffering, still unresponsive to the world around him. Until he woke, I was alone...

My heart shattered as I thought about how selfish I was. I grimaced and shook my head. How could I be so self-centred? Thinking only of my comfort after everything the boy went through last night... Fucking unbelievable.

Unenthusiastically smiling at my surroundings, I noticed it was quiet outside so I felt no need to worry about the dead. To occupy myself, I scanned the shelves out of curiosity. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, just something to kill the time, I guess, but once I found it, I found it.

One of the higher shelves held one item, whereas the others held boxes of food and crap. The one item had caught my attention, for sure.

A single tall glass bottle, sat by itself, meant only one thing. The cure to all my problems, something I had craved for months... That was a bottle of alcohol!

Is there any way I'm tall enough to reach it? I thought as I walked over to the shelf.

Reaching up, I realised I had to stretch a lot more than I first thought, going on my tiptoes. Trying to keep quiet, my fingertips finally brushed over the cold glass and, reaching just a little bit further, I managed to wrap my hand around the neck and pull the bottle down.

I scanned the label and found it was whiskey. Matured whiskey at that, maybe I would get some sleep after all. Most people would say the opposite but, the way I saw that bottle, it was an angel disguised as the devil. An answer to unspoken prayers.

With the newfound hope of rest, I went back to the makeshift bed in the other room, creeping in to make sure not to wake Jin hyung in the corner.

I lay down next to Jimin, smiling at him slightly as I pulled the lid off the bottle. I was so lucky to have him, I didn't deserve him at all, yet there he was. Also... I was lucky the bottle was a screw cap.

Taking a big swig of the drink, I felt my throat close up, my mouth burning. How long had that fucking been sat there?

Shaking the thought out of my mind, I just continued to drink the alcoholic beverage until my thoughts stopped attacking me. When I could actually enjoy the silence in the room, I smiled back at Jimin again, finally feeling calm.

He was so pretty, so beautiful, I thought. So precious, so... Perfect. An angel disguised as an angel. Too delicate and cherished for anyone to be near, no one deserved the purity of his heart, his kindness, his love.

Oh, that whiskey had most definitely gone bad, I could tell as I closed my eyes, feeling the room starting to spin in a completely different way.

Just as my mind began to drift and I finally started to fall asleep, a small voice pulled me straight back into awareness.

"H-hyung?" Jimin whimpered, next to me. His tone, so soft yet pained and hoarse, sobered me up instantly. I put the bottle down and turned to him, though I frowned when it seemed he was still asleep.

"Hey, baby," I smiled at him, gently caressing his cheek. I spoke in a whisper in case he was still asleep and I was just tipsy and imagining things. That thought was cancelled out though when he let out a shaky sigh and scrunched his brows slightly. "I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"E-everything just h-hurts..." He whimpered, letting out a soft cry afterwards, causing me to bite back my tears again. It sounded as if someone had scrubbed his throat raw with a steel scouring pad, his voice was so rough and gritty. It didn't sound like his voice at all.

I just sighed and reached over to him for my bag, grabbing some painkillers and a water bottle, wanting him to be comfortable as quickly as possible.

"Come on," I said softly, carefully lifting his head off of his jacket/pillow so he could take the tablets. "Take these, they'll help."

Rather than agreeing though, he just shook his head a fraction and groaned, keeping his eyes firmly shut.

"I think that whiskey you're drinking... Would help... A lot more," He said, his words catching me off guard a little. How did he know? Then again, it was really strong! I wouldn't have been surprised if the others in the far room could smell it.

"Yeah," I chuckled after a moment, realising he was actually joking. It was so hard to tell due to his weak tone, but I should have known anyway because he didn't drink, even before the world went to shit. "Let's stick to these for now."

With a small nod, he gave in and opened his mouth, waiting for me to give him the tablets. I just sighed, giving him a warm smile that contradicted the sadness rising within me. His tongue was red and cracked, just like the inside of his lips, and you could see just how many times he had bitten through the skin during the seizure. It looked so painful, almost as if he had been forced to eat broken glass. I just placed the two small tablets in his mouth, holding the bottle up so he could have a drink to take them with.

He winced slightly as he swallowed the tablets but tried to cover it up, sipping as much water as he could before coughing. I knew he was trying not to make a fuss, but it was obvious that he was in a lot of pain and I just didn't know what I could do to help him.

Slowly, he let himself relax, opening his eyes and sighing. I watched sadly as his eyes rolled up slightly, shaking almost from side to side until he was able to focus his gaze. I just laid his head back down so he was comfortable and laid next to him.

"Are you cold?" I asked, placing the back of my hand on his cheek before cupping it, stroking his cheekbone with the pad of my thumb. He shook his head in response but his ice-cold skin said otherwise.

"You're lying," I sighed, lifting the blanket that I was laying on up and over him, tucking it around him so he could warm up. Like before, it didn't matter if I was cold, better me than him. "Please don't lie to me."

"'m sorry..." He mumbled, snuggling into my side for more warmth. I just sighed and carefully pulled him close, making sure I didn't move him too abruptly, stroking my fingers through his hair.

I felt a tidal wave of relief washing through me as I held my boy against my chest. All this time, I had been waiting for something worse to happen but now Jimin was awake - I could finally feel my heart slow, relaxing as I realised something worse wasn't going to happen.

"Don't ever scare me lie that again," I said, feeling the crack in my voice as my eyes watered again. "Never again. I thought I had lost you. I was so scared!"

"I'm sorry," He repeated, his voice a tiny bit stronger than before. I just buried my face in his hair and wrapped my arms around him gently, hiding the fact that I couldn't stop myself from crying again. "Yoongs, why are you drinking?"

"I was thirsty," I shrugged, not telling him the truth because I knew he'd start stressing. I felt him shake his head, his fluffy hair tickling my nose as he did so.

"Who's lying now?" He asked, a slight ring in his hushed voice indicative of a small chuckle. I just sighed and nestled closer to him, not holding on too tightly in case he needed to move away. My hands rested around his shoulders and I could feel his muscles spasming ever so slightly but didn't mention it, not when he wasn't necessarily acknowledging it himself. It was fairly common when he woke up, even on a good day, so I wasn't all that worried.

"I couldn't sleep," I said, deciding to be truthful now that he had called me out, massaging the base of his neck lightly, to ease his muscles and he relaxed to the action. The was no point in trying to keep lying, he would have known and it would have only hurt him. Either way, I couldn't stand lying to him - it was too hard. "My mind was too busy."

I knew I didn't have to say any more than that, he knew what I meant. He always did.

"You should have woken me up," He croaked, coughing slightly afterwards. I just sighed and continued to play with his hair. It was heartbreaking to see him in this state.

I pushed away, just slightly, so I could see him. He peeped up at me through his fringe for a few seconds before lowing his gaze again, clearly too dizzy to look up for too long.

"One, no, you needed to rest. I would never wake you after something like that," I shook my head at him, my voice firm yet still gentle. "Two, you were out like a rock. Trust me, nothing was waking you. You've been out for hours, you must have needed the sleep after what happened. It was so intense, Chimmy. I didn't think you were gonna pull through!"

He smiled at me softly though, I knew him well enough to know it was guilt that he was expressing. My heart ached, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and tell him how lucky I felt to still be able to hold him. But, then again, his lips were so sore that it was probably best not to.

"You should have tried to wake me," He shrugged, tiredly. His words slurred slightly and I saw, in the dim light, his eyelids drooping and his face growing paler. "I don't want you feeling down."

"Just get some more rest, sweetie," I sighed, smiling at him as I stroked his cheek again. He just shook his head and forced his eyes open, though it caused him to go all unfocused again. "Why not?"

I frowned as he tried to focus on me but failed and settled for looking down again. It took him a while to summon up the energy but finally answered.

"Because," He pouted slightly, causing my heart to warm. His eyes shifted down and I caught him looking at the whiskey bottle. "I'm worried about you."

I tried to read his expression, letting out a sigh and giving up. Moving away carefully, I sat myself up, waiting for my head to stop spinning, before reaching for the bottle and standing up. I gave him a warm smile before walking over to Jin hyung.

"Where are you going?" He asked with a small croak. I just placed the bottle down next to hyung, quietly, and walked back, laying down again.

"Does that make you feel better?" I asked, knowing that was what he wanted. He never liked it when I drank, since I guess I did have a bit of a problem in the past.

I got a tiny nod in response so I just went back to cuddling him, playing with his hair out of habit.

"Y-y-yoongi?" I heard him choke out, his voice weak again.

"Hmm?" I asked, moving away to see his brow scrunched with little beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Instantly, all my worry flooded back. "What's wrong, jagi?"

"I think I'm gonna... Be sick..." He whimpered, his cheeks finally glowing pink as he grew embarrassed.

"Okay, honey," I sighed, seeing just how much discomfort he was in. Carefully, I pulled the blankets away from him and rolled him to his other side so he had more room. There was no point in trying to get him to stand, to get him out of the room, he wouldn't have made it in time. It was best just to keep him comfortable. "Just breathe, baby."

"Y-yoongs..." He croaked in protest as he retched a little, but I just rubbed his back reassuringly, telling him he'll be okay.

"Just let it all out, honey. It's okay," I said softly, watching as he got pale again, mentally kicking myself since I knew what had caused it. Moderately strong painkillers on an already unsettled, empty stomach was not a good idea, on my part. "It was probably the painkillers. Maybe we should have waited until you had woken up a bit more."

He let out little sobs as he gagged and coughed, fighting the urge to throw up. I shook my head, propping him up in my arms a little. I don't know whether it was the movement or if he just stopped fighting it but, not a second later, he was violently vomiting on the wooden floor.

"That's it, jagi, just get it out," I sighed again, making sure he was sitting up enough that his clothes would remain clean. His little face screwed up between each retch, sweat rolling off him as his hands clutched my arms, almost as if he was begging me to hold him secure through the great force his body was putting him through.

Considering he hadn't eaten, apart from the small chocolate bar earlier, it was all just bile. I couldn't have imagined just how painful his throat was now, the sour acidic smell making my stomach churn. I just kept rubbing his back until he was finished, comforting him as much as I could.

"Better now?" I asked with a small chuckle as he fell back into my arms, allowing himself to calm down. He just nodded, closing his eyes as his ragged breathing slowed. I just dabbed the sweat away from his face, helping him calm.

Managing to grab my bag again, I pulled out a spare t-shirt and gently wiped the vomit away from his chapped lips. He didn't flinch away or anything but it must have stung and I felt bad.

After making sure he was cleaned up, I laid him back down on the blankets, making sure he was cocooned in them so he was warm, before grabbing the water bottle and heading to clean the floor.

"Just relax now, baby," I cooed, wiping the floor with the t-shirt. It was a pretty foul job, making me feel sick myself, but I couldn't just leave it. Jimin just whimpered as he watched me, and I could see the guilt on his face.

"I'm sorry," He said for the third time, with a little cry, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath. Why was he apologising? There was absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I hated hearing him apologise for such tiny little things. It was like he felt guilty about causing the slightest inconvenience, or he was trying to make himself feel bad for needing people to help him.

"Don't be so silly," I shook my head, working quickly so I could try and forget the strong smell. I was probably just making matters worse, scrubbing the rotten floorboards with the water-soaked shirt, but again, I couldn't just leave it.

"Jagiya?" He whispered, so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"Yeah?" I paused, looking over to him to see him peering over at Jin hyung with a weary look.

"Did I hurt anyone?" He asked, his voice wavering with uncertainty.

"Why do you ask that?" I looked at him, completely baffled. "You've never hurt anyone, ever."

"I just assumed..." He said, still looking at Jin hyung. I looked over as well and saw what he was getting at, even while he was sleeping, Jin hyung looked miserable as sin.

"He's fine, Jiminie," I reassured him, trying to finish cleaning. "Pained, but fine. It wasn't anything to do with you."

"I hit him?" He asked, causing me to stop and frown again. How on earth did he draw that conclusion?

"I guess, yeah, but it was unavoidable, baby," I said softly, deciding to give up now that the smell had dispersed a bit. I threw the shirt behind me and went to lie back down, pulling him close in a hug before he could upset himself. "You didn't seriously hurt him, he's fine. Let's just get some rest, yeah? You'll feel better after a bit more sleep."

He gave me a small smile but I could see right through it.

"Come here," I mumbled, letting him snuggle up to me. I held my arms around him, kissing the top of his head as he nestled against my chest.

"I-I love you," He whispered and I could hear how tired he was.

"I love you too, aein," I smiled, kissing his hair again. "Sleep now."

"I don't think I can," He shook his head although he sounded like he was half asleep already. "I just..."

"Just relax, aein. Everything's okay, I love you," I sighed, cutting him off. Running my fingers through his hair, quietly humming to relax him, I felt myself drifting off.

I wish I could say that I slept peacefully but, due to the extreme awakening of screaming and crying, I'm sure I'd be lying. I shot up straight, hearing the girls squealing, sounding heartbroken beyond belief.

As if by muscle memory, I placed my hand on the blanket next to me, panicking when I found an empty space that was meant to be occupied by Jimin. I whipped my head around, jumping to my feet, only to see him sitting with Jin hyung, panicking at the noise.

I ran over to him just as Jin hyung was leaving the room with Namjoon. He just sat there, shivering as his breathing picked up more and more.

"Hey," I said, wrapping my arms around my boyfriend, and pulling him close as he started to panic more. He buried his head in the crook of my neck, I just stroked the back of his head to coax him into breathing slowly. "It's alright, come here. Breathe baby, you're okay."

Hoseok ran into the room, followed by Tae who was silently crying, both looking scared and confused.

"Hoseok, what's going on?" I asked, holding my hand out and beckoning Tae over. The younger grabbed my hand and sat next to Jimin, hugging him close. I turned back to Hobi as the two hugged each other, comforting each other.

"I don't know, hyung..." Hobi shook his head, brow furrowed in worry as he sat down next to me. A few moments later, Jin hyung came back, practically carrying two of the girls with him. The girls both looked distraught, completely broken, choking on harsh sobs.

Taehyung looked up as Jin hyung and Hobi started having a silent conversation between themselves. He looked over to the girls, sighing before moving away from Jimin and going to sit with them.

"Baby?" I said softly, as Jimin sat watching Tae, almost like he hadn't really realised he had moved away. Slowly he turned towards me, eyes swimming in tears and fear. I just shushed him and pulled him against my chest, holding him close.

Whatever had happened, it wasn't going to be good but until we found out more information, we just needed to be patient.

Hoseok patted my shoulder, grabbing my attention. Quietly, he whispered to me what Jin hyung was silently telling him. The girl, the youngest of the group who was there yesterday with Jimin... She was dead...

-

My heart sank as Hoseok mouthed to me what had happened, a deep sympathy filling me for the girls on the other side of the room. Taehyung was holding Jennie close as she cried hard, letting her soak his shirt with her heart-wrenching tears; Seokjin tried his best to comfort the other girl but seemed rather awkward like he didn't know what to do.

With a soft sigh, I just pulled Jimin a little closer to me, holding my arms around him softly as he continued to stare at Taehyung. I wasn't too sure whether he was looking at the boy or not, but he hadn't broken his gaze away from the back wall.

"Jiminie," I whispered against his ear, kissing the side of his head gently as he finally leaned back into me. I kept my voice low so the others didn't hear, only speaking to my boy so he had something to focus on while everyone else concentrated on what was happening at that moment. "Relax baby, everything will be alright. You're tensing up. Try to relax your shoulders, love, or you'll be sore."

Without answering, or giving any acknowledgement to what I had said, Jimin just swivelled around fully and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his head into the crook of my neck.

I gently held him to my chest but, I guess my hold was still too much since he still flinched away from me, with a little whine, before coming back into the cuddle. Readjusting my arms, I sighed again, not knowing how to comfort him without hurting him.

"Shall I massage your neck or will it hurt too much?" I asked, quietly, feeling how hard his muscles felt under my hands. After last night, I wasn't surprised by the tension his body was still holding, but the stress of the current situation was making it worse. He just gave a small nod, not really specifying what he was agreeing to, so I gently rubbed the base of his neck, between his shoulder blades. He just melted into my arms, so at least I wasn't hurting him. "Just take deep breaths and relax, baby... Do you need anything, some water?"

Before Jimin got the chance to answer me, a shrill scream came from the far room, causing me to jump a mile. I would have reacted much differently to Jimin's fists clenching around my shirt, though when a gunshot followed the harsh cries, I felt myself jump again and Jimin gave a soft cry from being forced to let me go.

On reflex, I found myself on my feet and Jimin fell back on the floor, his bottom hitting the wood with a thump.

"Jesus Christ," Hoseok mumbled, shaking his head slightly as we all slowly started to realise what had happened. It was what always happened when someone got bit by the dead. Lisa had turned into one of those creatures and one of them had to put her down.

Without realising, my hand went to my belt for my knife, even though my brain knew we weren't in danger. It wasn't until Hoseok was tugging on the base of my shirt that I noticed my overreaction and snapped out of the protective mode the chaos had sent me into.

"Sit down," He whispered harshly, though I didn't understand why he was keeping his voice hushed until I saw the two girls on the other side of the room. They were both as white as sheets, looking close to throwing up or passing out or both.

"Jagiya..." Jimin's small voice came from behind me, reminding me that I had just practically thrown him off my lap. I looked back and instantly kneeled by his side, seeing his wide eyes and trembling lips. "... Is everyone okay? Joonie hyung and Jungkookie?"

"Sorry, baby," I sighed, cupping his cheeks in my hands and wiping away his silent tears. "Yeah, no... They're fine, don't worry about those two... Are you okay? I'm sorry."

"I'm okay..." He gave a small nod, leaning into my hands, though the way his eyes scrunched shut when he moved proved that he wasn't. "What's happening?"

"That girl who was with you, back on the road," I sighed, closely whispering in his ear so as to not upset the girls more. "She got attacked by the dead, last night. She didn't make it, jagi."

"W-was it..." Jimin stuttered, his eyes turning glossy, and I could hear how small his voice grew with each word. I watched his eyes carefully, waiting for him to finish what he was saying, knowing he was really struggling to get his words out. "Was... W-was it my f-fault?"

"What?" Hoseok asked, sounding as shocked as I felt. He shuffled closer to us and placed his hand on the boy's shoulders, looking at him with a serious expression. "No, Jiminah, not at all. This was because of the dead, kid. How could this be your fault?"

Jimin didn't say anything but I heard the soft cry that left his lips. I wasn't sure if he was upset by Hoseok's blunt question or if he was just emotional in general, but I just let him huddle up against me, pressing soft kissing to the top of his head every time he accidentally moved and whimpered.

Something was off with how the boy was acting, though I couldn't really place my finger on it. The way he kept letting out little sniffles, the way he crawled closer to me then backed away, was odd and left me worried. Though, I just held him close, assuming he didn't really know what was going on either.

Sitting like that for a few moments, I was starting to get lost in just holding my boyfriend protectively, occasionally sharing a concerned glance with Hoseok; that was until Jin hyung exited the room, leaving us in silence.

It wasn't long though until he came back with Namjoon, Jungkook being shoved forward in front of them. I couldn't stop myself from frowning when I saw Namjoon was having to hold Jungkook on his feet, the maknae looking sickly pale.

"Jisoo wants us to leave," Namjoon spoke up as we all looked over at him. Seokjin helped the other two girls back to their sister, clearly already aware of this fact. "She said we can take whatever we need but we need to start clearing up now, we need to leave quickly."

"Right now?" Hoseok questioned, nodding over to Jimin who was still huddled in my arms and then back to Tae who was subtly trying to cover a small coughing fit, though we all noticed it. "I don't think we're in any position to be able to move, right now, Namjoonah."

"We need to go, Hoseokie. We don't have a choice here," Seokjin sighed, kneeling beside Tae and pulling an inhaler out of his pocket for him. The boy looked at him with a somewhat embarrassed smile, just grateful that the elder knew where it was since he clearly didn't.

"Kook, sit with Min and Tae for a bit, please," Namjoon told the maknae, not really giving him an option as he sat him down. "Can the rest of you help pack up our things?"

"Sure," Hoseok nodded and he got up, as did Jin hyung, and started grabbing a few things before leaving the room.

"Hyung?" Namjoon frowned at me and, reading his eyes, I knew he was about to tell me to get off my arse. I was about to get up and help, but I felt my shirt tighten as Jimin held onto me, suddenly turning clingy the more emotional he got.

"I'll be with you in a minute," I nodded, softly running my hand up and down my boyfriend's back. As much as I respected that the girls wanted us to leave, Jiminie was ill. He was in a really bad place and if sitting with him for an extra few minutes made him feel better, that's what I was going to do. No question about it. "Just give us a moment, Joon."

"Alright," Namjoon sighed before leaving the room, going off to help the other two. I just sighed and turned my attention back to the three in the room.

While resting my chin on his shoulder, my fingers gently traced up and down Jimin's spine, through his shirt, and I felt him relax in my hold.

Giving a soft smile, I let my eyes flicker over to the other two. Tae had calmed down again, though kept a tight fist around his inhaler just in case. Jungkook, however, was completely silent. He almost looked like a statue, motionless and pale. It was worrying and, when I knew he was more stable, I made a mental note to ask what had happened.

"Jagiya?" I whispered, my brow knitting together when I was certain my shirt was getting wet. Instead of responding, Jimin just let out a tiny cry and nestled his head against my neck, answering enough anyway. "What's wrong, baby? Can you talk to me?"

"I got that girl k-killed," He cried against my neck, causing me to shiver a little when his hot breath hit my skin. "Didn't I?"

"No, my love, no," I shook my head, feeling my heart sink. His grip got tighter on my shirt, telling me enough to know he didn't believe me, so I just ran my fingers through his hair as I tried my best to convince him. "This is not your fault, I swear."

I had no idea what had gotten into him but he just seemed to be blaming himself for everything and it hurt! He didn't ask for any of this trouble, much less did he cause it.

"You wouldn't have had to rush if, if, if, it wasn't f-for me!" He said, voice breaking as he cried a little harder. "If I wasn't so... So, so fucking..."

"Jimin, stop, love," I sighed, holding my arms around him a little firmer to ground him since he was starting to spiral. "This isn't your fault, you didn't get Lisa killed. You haven't done anything wrong, so stop blaming yourself... The dead are just a factor of this life that will always be dangerous. That's just fact, now. Either way, we were still heading this way, okay? We would have still been walking through those woods, in the dark. It was just a horrible coincidence that you weren't well at the same time, but that doesn't mean what happened was because of you."

"But if I had just listened..."

"Stop."

"But I always fucking..."

"Stop."

"I will always be in the way, putting people in danger."

"Stop it," I said, cutting him off kind of sharply, though I never moved him once. I wasn't going to listen to him blame himself anymore, I couldn't. "Just stop it. Every time something goes wrong, you assume it's your fault and that you're a burden..."

"I am a burden!" He cut me off, just as sharply which shocked me, if I'm honest. "I just drag people down, no matter what I do! You should have just left me by the cars..."

As he ranted, I felt myself choke up more and more, to the point where I couldn't even try to stop Taehyung when he pulled the boy away from me.

"Shut up!" Taehyung said harshly, kneeling in front of Jimin and lightly hitting the back of his head the way Jin hyung had Jungkook yesterday, causing him to fall silent and look at the floor sheepishly. "Just shut up and stop being so fucking ridiculous! Do you know how sick I am of hearing you say this, over and over and over again, Jimin? Sixteen years and you still play the same fucking record. Stop hating yourself when no one else does."

The slight scolding seemed to be more than enough to get Jimin back into a stable headspace as he turned to me, sniffing slightly with apologetic eyes. I bit back my own tears, opening my arms for him to cuddle up to me again. As he did, I raked my fingers through his hair and let out a shaky breath, glancing up at Taehyung.

This wasn't normal, Jimin wasn't himself right now.

Was this because of last night?

It was almost as if Tae was reading my thoughts, his eyes reflecting the same amount of concern and distress.

"Just sit with, Kook, okay?" I sighed, still playing with my boy's hair as he remained still in my embrace. "I've gotta go and help the others. Just stay here and relax, baby. You'll be okay."

"I'll come and help, hyung," Taehyung suggested, already standing up and collecting up a few blankets. I gave him an unsure look, not really wanting him to work himself too hard either, though he seemed okay so I left it.

"Give me one," I said, holding my hand out for one of the blankets. "Then go and see if Joon needs any help out there, ask what I can do as well."

"Okay," Tae nodded, handing over one of the blankets before leaving the room. I sighed and wrapped the blanket around Jimin's shoulders before kissing his forehead, softly.

"Alright, baby," I sighed, cupping his cheeks as his small hands pulled the blanket closer. Flickering his eyes up, I could see the exhaustion behind them. He just looked so drained, so sad, and I just had no idea what I could do to make him feel better. "I've gotta go and help. Stay here with Kook and keep warm, okay? Just rest and I'll be back in a few minutes. I love you."

"I love you," He nodded, giving me the softest of smiles that made my heart warm. Returning the smile and kissing his forehead one last time, I pushed myself to my feet and started to help clear up our things.

Taehyung passed me as I left the room and I just gave him a small nod, telling him Jimin would be okay, in time.

-

"It doesn't feel right, taking their food," Jin hyung sighed, reluctantly placing tins of food in his backpack.

I just shook my head, somewhat agreeing as I packed up my tools from fixing the door the day before. We were almost finished clearing up all our belongings. Everything we owned, plus everything extra the girls generously offered us, was now in bags, waiting outside the door for us to leave.

"I know, but they insisted," Hoseok shrugged, also packing his bag.

"If they want us to leave, that's understandable at this point. Just be grateful they're being this generous," Namjoon told us, walking into the conversation but not missing a beat. He was right, we couldn't complain. The girls were being more than generous, giving us half of all their supplies, it probably wasn't necessary.

I just collected up my tools, placing them at the bottom of my bag as I listened, before walking back into the main room, following Tae who was just packing his bag.

"Where's Jungkook?" Namjoon asked, catching us off guard. We frowned, looking around for the unstable maknae but before any of us could answer, Tae spoke up.

"Jimin took him for a walk, outside," He said, causing me to stop in my tracks behind him.

"He did?" I asked, frowning deeply as worry took over, hoping I had heard him incorrectly. Jimin was in no state to be outside, and although I never doubted Jungkook, he was in no state to be alone with him either.

"Yeah, Kook was walking off anyway," He shrugged, clearly not sharing the same concern as he casually continued with what he was doing. "Jiminah chased after him to make sure he was okay."

"I'll go and find them," Jin hyung spoke up, just as I opened my mouth to say something, making me keep quiet. I shook my head slightly but he just patted my shoulder and nodded. "But let's give them a few minutes, first."

"But..."

"Kook will only run off if he thinks we are watching him like a hawk," Jin hyung cut me off, causing me to suck in a sharp breath of annoyance. "Right now, Jimin is probably the best person to talk to him. He won't let anything happen to him, Kook is smart. Let's just give them a while, finish up here, and I'll go and get them."

"Hyung's right, Yoon," Hobi said, giving me a soft smile but I still wasn't convinced. "Come and help me figure out where we should go next."

Giving a smaller frown, again, I just sighed and gave in, sitting next to Hobi by the door as he pulled out a small map he had in his bag.

"So, this is where the cars are, and I'm just guessing here but I think we're..." Hobi started, pointing a few landmarks out with his finger, but his words trailed off as my mind flashed back to the previous night.

Images flickered through my mind, seeing Jimin writhing for air, struggling, suffocating. Suddenly the only thing I could hear was that foul choking, the horrific noise of my baby dying in my arms, and it made my skin crawl as if ants were covering every inch of my flesh.

"Hyung..." Hoseok's voice broke through, pulling me back to earth with a sharp shake on my shoulder. "Are you okay? You've gone pale."

"N-no..." I shook my head, still hearing Jimin's cries as if it was happening all over again. I had become just as breathless as I was, running to the barn, and I could feel my lungs drying up quickly.

The abrupt realisation hit me, like a train going full speed, that I could have lost the love of my life last night. Jimin was the love of my life and I almost lost him forever...

"Hyung," Hoseok tilted his head with concerned eyes, holding his hand out to me. I wasn't able to notice it then but, looking back, I realised he was keeping his voice hushed so the attention stayed away from me. "Come with me, let's go get some air."

I wasn't given the chance to say anything more, he just grabbed my wrist and pulled me up, leading me outside of the barn. Once we had exited the damp, wooden, building, Hoseok pulled me back by my shoulders so I was leaning against the wall.

The cold breeze in the air hit my skin, making me shiver, but I still couldn't shake the panicky feeling that was bubbling in my chest. I couldn't even explain it if I tried, it was such an unfamiliar feeling. It wasn't like panic, or at least how panic usually felt; this was something I had never experienced before.

The conversation I had with Jin hyung came to mind, furthermore, it reminded me of that day back at the warehouse. Back in that storage room when I had nothing left to lose... Jimin strolled in and gave me a whole world with just a few words, with a single action, he gave me a reason... No, he showed me that I still had reason to keep going.

"Yoongi, look at me," Hoseok said and I could hear the firmness in his voice, it made me flinch. "Hyung, I'm pretty sure it's just a panic attack, so we're just gonna take a moment and slow things down, okay? It's just us out here, just Yoongs and Hobi. If you need to cry, scream, anything... You can, no one's watching, but you need to breathe as well, okay?"

I shook my head, unable to bring myself to understand his words. Subconsciously, I understood and appreciated how he was gifting me the privacy I needed, but I couldn't focus enough. I doubled over, balled my fists and rested them on my knees as my eyes scrunched closed.

"Yoongi hyung," Hoseok gave my shoulder another small shake but I still couldn't look up at him.

I could feel beads of sweat rolling down my forehead, tickling my skin as my palms grew hot and moist. My tongue suddenly felt like sandpaper and I could hear my heart in my chest.

"Listen to me, okay? Listen to Hobi, we're gonna do some breathing together, do you think that'll help? That usually works well, yeah?"

Just as his question ended, my stomach flipped, causing me to retch harshly. His strong hands kept me up but I suddenly felt wobbly, like my legs had turned into jelly.

"Be sick if you need to, hyung," I heard him sigh, standing by my side and rubbing my back. "It doesn't matter. Just talk to me when you can."

"I... I don't..." I spluttered, spitting on the grass just so I could clear my mouth enough to inhale. "K-know what's h-h-happening..."

"You do, hyung," Hobi said softly, subtly reminding me that I was in control of my own body and what was happening to me. "You know this is just leftover adrenaline from last night. It's a delayed reaction, the rush of relief that was waiting to happen. This morning didn't give you time to debrief, that's why this is happening."

"J-Jimin..."

"Jin hyung will go and get him soon," Hobi reminded me, gently massaging my shoulders as shaky amounts of oxygen started to fill me and made my vision dance in front of me. "You have to remember that he needs to calm down as well. He went through a hell of a lot last night; being in the fresh air is probably exactly what you both need."

"I n-need him..." I stuttered, realisation washing over me like a tidal wave. "Hope, this... I can't... What is this? Why is this m-making me l-like this?"

I didn't miss the small scoff the younger made, much less the way he squeezed my shoulders a little tighter.

"Hyung, you love him," Hobi chuckled lightly, causing me to frown and finally lift my gaze to meet his. As I looked up, I was met with a warm smile and shining eyes. "It's not just how we love each other, like what you used to think it was. You used to think it was the same, like with Tae and Kook, but Jimin isn't just your dongsaeng. The whole time, before all of this, that's what you passed it off as... Just a soft spot for a close friend, but that's not it. You truly love Jimin and, correct me if I'm wrong or hit me if you like but... I don't think you've ever felt that way about someone... Have you?"

His words started to sink in slowly and, though my stomach was still pretending to be a gymnast, it was more of a butterfly feeling. It wasn't as intense now that I realised Hobi was right. Giving a soft shake of my head, I let myself silently admit just how strong my feelings were.

"That's what I thought," Hobi chuckled again, laying his arm over me and giving me a small side hug. Usually, I would have pushed him away and called him an arse for trying to hug me but, this time, the action felt nice, it felt safe. "Feeling a bit better now you've got that out?"

I nodded slightly but still felt a little unbalanced.

"Come on then," Hobi smiled, moving aside so we could go back into the barn. "We still need to work out where we can go next."

Again, I nodded and made a start for the door but, just as we were about to go back inside, he stopped me.

"I'm proud of you, hyung," He said, softly since I had already opened the door, but he didn't press any more. He just smiled again and gestured for me to go in.

Everyone was still wandering back and forth, talking quietly among themselves, and I realised no one had noticed we had stepped out. Hobi just patted me on the back and we took our seats by the door again, instantly putting our attention back on his map.

"I'm gonna go and find them," Jin hyung's voice came from behind me. I turned and gave him a soft nod of thanks, which he smiled at in return before leaving.

About an hour passed, and all we were waiting on was Jin hyung's return with Chim and Kook.

I and Hobi still hadn't settled on a destination but I knew that was because he was aware of my lack of attention. I was more worried about the fact that the others hadn't come back yet.

"Thank you so much, for everything," Namjoon was speaking softly to the eldest girl, Jisoo. She had spent the last hour with her other two sisters, in the back room, but had come out to say goodbye. "We are incredibly sorry for your loss."

"Just take what you need," Jisoo said, her voice flat. I could see Hoseok talking in front of me, probably to me, but I was more focused on their conversation than ours. "We were glad to be of help. Thank you for reuniting us."

"We really do owe you," Tae commented, though it seemed he was talking more to Jennie than anyone else. Throughout the day, I noticed how they had been talking and getting closer, but now Tae looked sad that he was losing a potentially good friend. "I owe you."

"As I said," Jisoo just repeated, her voice even more emotionless than last time, making my heart clench with sympathy. "We're glad to be of help."

They kept talking but their voices grew quiet, no matter how much I tried I couldn't hear them, so I just gave up and turned back to Hoseok. Though when I was about to start talking to him again, the barn door swung open.

"Just sit down and relax, Chim," I heard Jin hyung's voice and, just like that, my panic came back. I turned just as he was gently easing Jimin to the floor, next to me.

"What's happening?" I asked, carefully placing my fingertips under my boy's chin to make him look at me.

"I'm fine," He mumbled but his eyes were closed and his head laid heavy in my hand as he leaned into me instantly; he was almost asleep where he sat. "Don't worry."

"He had an absence on the way back," Jin hyung told me, placing his hand on Jimin's knee, his eyes scolding him for lying though the boy never noticed. "He hasn't really come back from it yet."

"He was getting dizzy and couldn't keep up," Jungkook added and, if Jimin had been more awake, I knew he'd be rolling his eyes. "And he almost collapsed earlier. I told him he should have just stayed here."

There was something off about the maknae's voice, he sounded guilty about something now. Even though I didn't say anything, it made me worry about what had happened when they went out, whether he kicked off or something like that.

"I'm fine," Jimin sighed, his voice stronger than before but, as soon as I placed my arm around him, he crumbled into me and laid limp against my side. "I'm okay. If we need to go, we can go."

"Nu-uh, no," I said firmly, shaking my head at him. I was not about to have a repeat of last night and, after his meltdown that morning, I wasn't sure I could even cope with a repeat of that. "We are not going anywhere until you have rested."

I felt Jisoo's eyes burn into me, immediately, but I ignored her glare. I didn't care. Sure, I was sympathetic to the girls and all, my heart went out to them, but Jimin came first. Jimin always came first, before anyone. I didn't mind if no one else agreed with me but, when it came to Jimin's health and wellbeing, I could have come across as the most heartless bastard around, for all I cared.

"Don't be so silly," Jimin mumbled, sitting himself up a bit with whatever strength he had left. His eyes were glossy but his voice was firm, telling me he was most definitely still on his I don't want to be a burden script.

"No, Yoongi's right," Jin hyung spoke up, his serious tone cutting through the painful tension now filling the room. "After last night, when we didn't know if you'd wake up or not... We're not risking it again, Jimin. No way."

"We can go. No need to waste time," Jimin said, almost like he was brushing last night off as something that wasn't important; his lips starting to sit in a pout but I could hear the change in his voice. How it grew weaker and quieter with every word. I just readjusted myself so I could hold him up better. "Especially if we... Need to find... Somewhere..."

I just gently rubbed my hand up and down his arm, recognising the small seizure in a heartbeat. Though seeing his eyes drift up as his lids flickered quickly, and the way he went heavy as his body stiffened slightly - I grew panicky again, but took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was just a little one, nothing like last night.

"Is it happening again?" Hobi asked, still sitting beside me, the worry evident in his tone. I looked at him and saw the fear in his eyes, so I just gave him a small smile and shook my head before turning back to my boyfriend.

I took his small hand in mine, keeping my hold soft as I pressed a kiss to the top of his hair. All we could do was wait, so that's what I did. I couldn't stop my mind from running with dark thoughts, though. What if this was because of last night?

It wasn't unusual for Jimin to have clusters when it came to these little seizures, but something just played on the back of my mind and I couldn't shake it.

"Hmm?" My boy hummed and slowly lifted his head, blinking at me with a blank expression but with quizzical eyes.

"You're okay, jagi," I smiled at him, not letting any of my fears shine through. I just pulled his hand up and placed a kiss on his knuckles. "We're gonna sit and wait this out, okay?"

Jiminie nodded, leaning his head against my shoulder, but I saw his eyes starting to drift again. He shouldn't have gone out; clearly, the walk had drained him completely.

"I'm sorry," Jisoo's voice rang out, dragging most eyes to where she was sitting against the back wall, though I didn't look away from my boy. He was just staring at the back wall, his chapped lips pursed and eyes hooded and he tried to take in a few deep breaths.

"I really am," Jisoo continued but this time she finally caught my attention, not in a good way though. "But I said you need to leave, now."

Was she kidding me, right now? With Jimin literally sitting in front of her, in the state he was in, she was still ready to kick us out the door?

"You saw how he was last night!" I snapped at her, keeping my tone harsh even though I clearly saw her flinch back. "How could you..."

"Yoongi, calm down," Jin hyung warned so my glare involuntarily turned on him, for a second, before I just decided to shut up and give Jimin my attention instead.

"It's alright, jagi," I sighed, realising he had slipped back into it, just staring through the wall again. Gently kissing his temple again, I just gave him silent comfort, letting him settle in his own time. "We are gonna wait this out."

"We will," Jin hyung nodded, giving me a reassuring smile though it didn't really ease my nerves. "I'll go and talk to Namjoon, just calm down for a bit and take advantage of the time we've got, to rest."

I silently agreed and he shuffled a little closer, cuddling Jimin before patting my shoulder. He stood after a second, walking over to where Namjoon was talking to the girls. I didn't bother listening to what they had to say, I just sighed deeply.

"Kook, shut that door, will ya?" Hobi asked the maknae when a harsh breeze blew through the barn. I felt Jimin shiver against me as he looked up at Jungkook, almost as if he was asking him to do so quickly.

"Yeah, of course," Jungkook nodded, jumping to his feet when he locked eyes with Jimin. And there it was again, the guilt I saw in his expression earlier. He rushed to shut the door before going to his bag, pulling out a rather large jacket. "Here, hyung. You need to keep warm."

"I'm... Fine, Jungkookie. Don't worry," Jimin shook his head against my shoulder, refusing to take the jacket so I took it from Kook, moving in a way where Jimin had to sit up more.

"No one is using it, just wear the coat," I said, going to wrap it around him. Though he looked up at me with an annoyed expression, he didn't have enough energy to fight me on the matter. "Stop it with all this selflessness bullshit and let us look after you."

"You don't need to..." Jimin shook his head, gritting his teeth and laying his head against the wall. I just scoffed, brushing his hair out of his eyes, getting ready for whatever crap he was about to say. "Waste all this time, just on me. The longer we stay, the more trouble I cause, the more risk you're at."

I could hear his voice getting stronger, which was rather relieving, but now there was his typical stubborn undertone to it.

"Jiminah, listen to me now," Hoseok shook his head, clearly growing tired of this as well. Though he took a much harsher approach, harsher than Taehyung earlier, and I watched as Jimin shrank smaller and smaller the more he talked. "That is enough now. I don't know how many times we have to have this conversation but is so much more important for you to get this through your head now.

The world is a dangerous place now, okay? Therefore, we all need to take more precautions when it comes to our health. For us, that's easier but for you and Tae, you need to start looking after yourselves more and let us help you, as well. It's not like when we were working and you could just bugger off by yourself, for a nap, whenever you felt drained. We need to know things like whether you are feeling ill or not, as a group, so we can keep each other safe.

Now, you also need to stop with this I'm too much shit, okay? I promise you, we all do, that you are not too much. You aren't weighing us down, you're not causing trouble. This is just what an exhausted mind starts to think, 'kay? No one blames you for having epilepsy, nor do they think you're any less for it, so you shouldn't think that way either... All we want to do is help you, look after you. We care about you kid, but it hurts us when you say you're not worth our love."

In all honesty, if this lecture had come from anyone other than Hoseok, Jimin would have kicked off. If I had tried saying this, or Tae or Joon, he would have argued back and it would have led to a fight... But the fact that this was Hoseok talking to him, he sat and listened and, by the looks of it, he took in every word. He always listened to Hoseok, always. The tiny nod he gave showed that much.

"We really do care about you, hyung," Jungkook mumbled, just loud enough for us to hear him. I didn't miss the small glance Jimin shot him, it almost looked like he didn't believe him. "I care about you."

Jimin just nodded and gave the softest of smiles, leaning his back on my shoulder. It wasn't much of a reaction, considering the truth bomb that had just been thrown at him, but we knew him well enough to know he understood and agreed with us. With Hobi.

"Right, I'm gonna go and see Joon," Hobi smiled, knowing he got through loud and clear to the boy. "Take some time, chill out and we'll get going soon. Come on, Kook."

Jungkook nodded and they went to the other side of the room, giving us some much-needed room to breathe.

"Close your eyes for a few minutes," I whispered, kissing the top of Jimin's head. He nodded, snuggling to my side more, letting me cuddle him close. "Are you still in pain?"

"Not as much," He mumbled and I smiled at him. To be honest, he did sound a lot calmer now, just worn out. "Need to sleep, now."

"I know, babe," I sighed, knowing that we wouldn't get a chance to settle for a while. We most likely had a long walk ahead of us, again. "We've gotta find somewhere to stay, first. Just promise me you'll let us help you this time, yeah?"

He just nodded again, nestling against me and closing his eyes as I had suggested. I looked over to where the others were, meeting eyes with Namjoon, who held his hands up and mouthed that we had ten minutes. With a deep sigh, I just nodded, staying quiet so Jimin could just relax for a bit.

"Baby?" I mumbled after a while of just sitting on the floor, our ten minutes spent, and gently brushed Jimin's fringe out of his eyes.

"I'm okay," He whispered back before clearing his throat, letting his voice come out a bit louder. I felt bad for having to disturb him, knowing he was just moments away from falling to sleep. "We can go."

"We're not going anywhere until you are completely ready, jagi," I said, flickering my eyes over to the girls in case they heard me.

Jisoo had left the room, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Yes, she was distraught but had she pressed on about us leaving, any more than she had, I would have had to say something.

"I said we can go," Jimin sighed, reluctantly moving away and sitting up. As he looked at me, he caught me. I was watching his eyes carefully, searching for any sign of him lying to me, making sure he was focused and lucid. "You need to relax because I'm okay."

I couldn't stop myself from shaking my head, there was no way I could relax. I just pressed my lips to his, kissing him as gently as I could considering his lips were still so sore.

I just knew that if anything like the previous night ever happened again, it would just break me. I couldn't go through that again, and I certainly never wanted Jimin to go through anything like that ever again!

"Guys, are we ready?" Jin hyung asked, walking up to us with a small smile. I could tell he wanted to leave as little as we did.

"Yes, hyung," Jimin nodded and, with a sudden burst of energy though it was probably just pure stubbornness, he pushed himself up off the floor. I quickly rose as well, just so I could hold him stable.

"We're gonna be walking a while, Jiminie," Jin hyung told him, picking up his backpack as I grabbed mine and Jimin's. "If at any point, you need a break or some help or anything at all - you tell us. No keeping quiet, no forcing yourself to keep going if you can't. Understand?"

"Yes, hyung," Jimin nodded, his tone small and sheepish as he looked down at his feet, holding my hand as I snaked my arm around his waist. "I promise."

"Good boy," Jin hyung chuckled, ruffling his hair before turning to leave. "Keep that promise."

-

"So, this intersection... Is how far?" Hoseok asked Namjoon as we walked on.

The girls had told the leader about an intersection that was, supposedly, not too far from the barn, but we had been walking for a good hour and we still hadn't found it.

"Ten miles," Namjoon answered shortly, being too tired to play are we there yet?

"And we've walked?" Hoseok pressed though, causing Namjoon to pause in his tracks, take a deep breath, and continue.

"Four," Our leader sighed. "We have walked four miles."

The sun was now high in the sky, shining brightly down on us and yet providing absolutely no warmth. The wind was still blowing through the trees, making the leaves whistle in an annoying pitch. At least the road was empty, there was no dead in sight, so we could walk peacefully.

"Yoonie," Jimin's soft voice came from just behind me and I noticed he was starting to trail behind a bit. We had four breaks up till this point since neither he nor Taehyung had the stamina to go for long. Tae's inhaler must have been close to running out and Jimin kept slipping in and out of absence seizures, each one lasting longer than the last.

"What's up, babe?" I asked, slowing my pace and holding his hand once he was by my side. His fingers intertwined with mine, his other hand holding my arm as we walked.

"I feel... funny," He mumbled, leaning his head against my shoulder but continuing to move forwards. "Shakey... I..."

"Shall we stop for a moment?" I asked, dropping his hand just so I could wrap my arm around his waist, in case he was feeling worse than he was letting on. "We can take another break if you need to, babe."

"Please," He nodded and I could see his eyes starting to glaze over before he squinted down at the ground. "The sun's really bright. My head hurts."

"I know baby," I sighed, pulling his backpack off his back and placing it on the ground for a moment so his shoulders could have a rest from the weight. "I'd say have some more painkillers but you need to wait a few more hours. Maybe try eating something?"

"No, I can't," Jimin whined, snaking his arms around my waist and burying his head into the crook of my neck. "Water would be nice though."

"Here, kiddo," Jin hyung's voice rang out and he was walking up to us, holding out his bottle of water already. I guess he was the only one that noticed we stopped. "Get this down you and relax a little."

"Thanks, hyung," Jimin untangled himself from me to take the drink. I could see just how shaky his hands were as he tried to uncap the bottle, nearly dropping it, and sighed.

"Give it here," I said, taking the bottle and opening it for him. He smiled his thanks and slowly drank, taking his time and just sipping the water.

"Can we sit down for a moment?" He asked in a quiet voice as if he didn't really want to ask, handing the bottle back to Jin hyung. "I'm really dizzy, is it okay if I just sit for a while?"

I shot a look up at Jin hyung and then at the others, who were still walking ahead. They were actually a fair bit away from us now and I worried about losing them.

"Jiminie, how about I carry you for a while?" Jin hyung suggested, clearly worrying about the same thing. "We need to keep moving, really. They're obviously not going to stop. If you can't keep walking, that's fine."

Jimin looked up at the elder with unsure eyes, his lips pouting slightly. I thought he was about to change his mind but, after a few seconds of thought, he gave a fraction of a nod while tearing up. Jin hyung just smiled warmly and I held my hand out for his backpack.

"I'm proud of you, jagi," I kissed the side of my boy's head as Jin hyung gave me his bag.

"Come on, kiddo," Jin hyung chuckled, waving Jimin over. The boy stood next to him, allowing the elder to scoop him up into his strong arms, wrapping his arms around his neck. The elder had picked him up effortlessly, holding him secure as he shuffled to get comfortable. "Why not close your eyes and try to sleep for a while?"

Jimin just nodded, hiding his face in the elder's neck. I could tell he was embarrassed, but it didn't matter quite frankly. What mattered was the fact that he was finally accepting help.

I grabbed Jimin's backpack, quickly regretting the idea of carrying both theirs and my bags. I knew it would probably do my back in but I guess that didn't matter either.

Nearly an hour more of walking and we were all practically dead on our feet. Jimin had fallen asleep not five minutes after, finally, being off his feet. I wasn't surprised, though, he really was exhausted.

I was right about Tae's inhaler being close to empty. Namjoon offered to piggyback him the rest of the way to save what was left, though I don't think he was expecting the kid to fall asleep on him.

I was also right about carrying three full backpacks killing my back. At first, I had underestimated just how much they weighed but, after carrying them for a good fifty minutes, I realised just how stupid I was being. I knew, other than my back, that my shoulders were going to hurt like a bitch for a while.

"It cannot be any further than this, surely!" Namjoon complained in an almost whiny tone, which was extremely out of character. I watched as he tried to keep Tae on his back while making sure Jungkook wasn't too far ahead of him. He never liked it when he wasn't leading us. "As much as I love this kid, he's fricking heavy!"

"She said about ten miles," I reminded him of what Jennie told us, surprised when my voice came out sounding just as whiny. I had to let my bag fall off my shoulders, just for a moment of relief, before shrugging it back on and moving forward.

"Is that a car?" Hoseok asked, pointing to something up ahead a few steps ahead of me. "We might already be there."

"It is," Jungkook confirmed Hoseok's guess, causing me to let out a sigh of relief and drop all three bags to the ground. "Hyung, that's the intersection."

"Right, let's wake these two up," Namjoon said. "Jungkook, hold up. We are not just walking into it. We need to be cautious. It may be dangerous."

I waited for Jin hyung to be standing next to me, while Hoseok walked over to help the leader wake Tae up.

"Jiminie?" Jin hyung gently woke Jimin, not putting him down until he was fully aware of what was around him.

"We're here, jagi," I smiled as he rubbed his eyes, squinting away from the sun above him. He hummed slightly, nodding and waking up a bit more. "Come on, jagi."

Jin hyung just slowly lowered him to the ground, helping him stand with a warm smile. I took his hand, kissing the back of it before handing Jin hyung his bag back. I went to grab the other two but Jimin was already reaching out to grab his.

"You sure, babe?" I asked but he just shrugged and carried it anyway. "It's heavy, I'll carry it if you want."

"Your shoulders will be bad," He shook his head, going to walk forwards. "I don't mind carrying it, it's mine anyway... Oh my God."

I looked up to see what had caught his attention but was taken aback by the sight. In front of us were two roads, jampacked with cars, trucks, and vans. There were hundreds of vehicles, if not more.

"Don't let your guards down until we know it's safe," Namjoon told us as he reached for his knife, causing us all to do the same. Obviously, he wasn't going to let us get excited over this gold mine of supplies. "Keep your voice down and make sure the place is clear before searching for anything."

"Yes, sir," Jimin scoffed, causing me to frown at him slightly. His words seemed more like a joke but there was some underlying spite to them that was unlike him.

"Don't let him hear you," I chuckled nonetheless, deciding it was best to keep the mood light at the moment. Keeping hold of his tiny hand, I just stayed close to him as we walked. "He may just send you off as live bait."

My heart warmed as he gave me a little giggle, a soft ring that sounded melodic to my ears. After a moment though, his expression changed and he dropped my hand to start searching around in his bag.

"Whatcha searching for?" I asked curiously as he rummaged around, though my frown came back when he pulled out a pistol and handed it to me.

"Here," He said, giving me the firearm before rezipping his bag and swinging it back on his shoulders. "After everything that happened, I forgot to give it back."

"Give it back to who?" I asked, confused. I didn't recognise the gun as one of mine.

"You," Jimin frowned back at me, looking just as confused now. "I didn't need to use it in the end, so the bullets are still there. That reminds me..."

"This isn't my gun, Jiminie," I cut him off, handing the gun back to him with a quizzical glance.

"But..." He tilted his head a little, flipping the gun in his little hands. "Jungkook said that you..."

"It must be his, babe," I just shrugged and gave him a reassuring smile. It didn't matter, he clearly got confused for a moment, but that was understandable.

"But that means..." He mumbled, trailing off and slowing to a stop. I placed my hand on his shoulder as he continued looking at the gun, concern spreading through me when his lips started to quiver with confusion.

"You okay, Jiminie?" I asked, giving his shoulder a slight shake so he'd look at me. "Shall we stop for a moment?"

"I need to talk to Jungkook," He shook his head, pulling away from me before going to find the maknae. I just stared after him, my worries from earlier coming back.

"Is he okay?" Jin hyung asked, leaving Tae and walking back to me. I just shrugged, not knowing what to say.

He just sighed and we walked up to the rest of the group. I went over to Jimin, who was now looking rather deflated, standing next to Hoseok, though he gave me a small smile when I held his hand and squeezed it.

"Start searching in the cars, grab anything you can," Namjoon told the two youngest, turning and giving the rest of us orders. "Hoseok, can you go around and see if any of these cars are working? And look for keys. If we can get some working, that would be amazing.

Jin hyung, we should also syphon some gas from the other cars. The more gas we have, the better.

Yoongi hyung, Minie, can you keep watch? Just in case anything decides to creep through the trees?"

I nodded and we moved over, sort of standing in the middle of the two roads. There was a small border between them, which Jimin instantly took advantage of and sat on. I chuckled lightly, under my breath, before sitting next to him, facing the opposite way so we had eyes in both directions.

"What's going on with you and Kook?" I asked once we got a moment to ourselves, unable to stay in wonder anymore. It was obvious something happened when they went for their walk.

"He's grieving," Jimin shrugged, giving me a strange look. "Nothing more, nothing less. He's just struggling and needed to let out his feelings."

I took in a sharp breath, knowing exactly what Jungkook was like when he let his emotions explode. He bottled it up, always, and then ended up like a bomb.

"Did he upset you?" I asked cautiously. Deep down, I knew the possibility of Jungkook saying something hateful was high, I had been on the receiving end of his anger before, but I also knew Jimin wasn't about to tell me.

"No more than he has anyone else," Was all he said, leaning forward and resting his head in his hands. Looking up, I could see the sun slowly starting to come down a bit, but it was still very bright with the lack of trees covering the road. "I am worried about him, though."

"How come?"

"That gun was his," He told me, looking over his shoulder at me. "But he told me that you leant me it. He lied to me and I got worried about you because there was only one bullet left in it. I spent that whole time by the cars when you guys were out searching, thinking you were in a bad place again; I was worried sick, but... It turns out he might be there instead."

"We'll keep an eye on him, baby," I said, giving him a soft smile though I couldn't hide the fact that I was now worried about the maknae. "But, if this is the case, the important thing is to give him space. He'll only start shutting himself away from us if he thinks we're watching him. Kook'll be alright, he always is. Just give him some time and, whatever he said, try not to take it to heart too much. He wouldn't have meant it."

"I know that."

"But, hey," I nudged his side slightly, giving him a little smirk, deciding a little harmless teasing would lighten him up a bit. "You worry about me?"

"Always," He scoffed, giving me a funny look but the single word made my heart melt. "...You're a very troublesome person."

"Little shit," I chuckled, shaking my head at him as he started to giggle. Seeing his eyes disappear, his lips curling into a bright smile, I couldn't help but lean over and kiss him.

"Hey, Joon!" Hoseok shouted from up the road, making me groan and pull away from my boyfriend, who just laughed at me again. "Any idea how to hotwire a vehicle? This may still have some juice!"

"Holy shit..." Jimin muttered under his breath as we walked over to Hoseok, to see what he was talking about.

In front of us stood a huge motorhome! It was easily a seven-person berth caravan, if not bigger. Hoseok jumped out of the truck, that was hooked up to it and stood with us with a proud grin.

"It looks like a holiday one," Namjoon said, trailing around the vehicle.

"When have we ever been this lucky?" Jin hyung scoffed.

Never, I thought to myself, we were never this lucky.

No matter how hard we worked, nothing went our way like this. I was waiting for the catch.

"Yoongi hyung," Namjoon called on me for assistance, causing me to roll my eyes a little. "Come and clear it with me."

"Yoon..." Jimin subtly shook his head a fraction when I got up to help, holding my arm and looking at me with unsure eyes.

I just kissed his forehead and patted his back before walking over to Joon.

"Coming," I nodded, taking my knife from my belt and bracing myself for whatever was on the other side of the caravan door. "Back up."

I pulled on the door, having to give it a few harsh tugs before it finally gave way, sending me stumbling back. Once I had rebalanced myself, I looked back at Joon who just gave me an approving nod, holding his knife up defensively. Taking that as a go-ahead, I stepped into the motorhome.

As I moved forwards, I was instantly hit with the worst smell I had ever experienced.

"God, that stench!" I exclaimed, cringing as I covered my nose and looked around for the source of the foul smell. Though when I saw it, I thought I was going to be sick. "Jesus Christ..."

"That's just..." Namjoon started but trailed off.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the bunk area, no matter how much the smell was making them burn. In the lower two of eight bunks was a couple... A couple of corpses, with a pistol in hand. When my mind had caught up with what I was seeing, I finally scrunched my eyes and turned away, not able to cope with seeing the murder-suicide aftermath.

"We need to clear this," I said, turning to Joon who was looking as white as a sheet. "The maknaes don't need to see this."

"We'll wrap them in the sheets," Joon nodded, agreeing. He placed his hand on my shoulder just as I was about to look again, stopping me from doing so. "Are you okay, hyung? I can ask Jin hyung..."

"I'm fine," I said, trying to get my words out in one breath so I didn't have to breathe that smell in again. "I'll go get them distracted and I'll come back."

I didn't give the younger any time to respond, I just stumbled out of the door, desperate for some clean air. I leaned my back against the outside wall, leaning my hands on my knees as I tried to stop my head from spinning from all the dreadful emotions the scene had dragged up.

"Yoongi?" A voice pulled me back and in seconds Jimin was taking my hand, pulling me up by my shoulder to stand straight. "What is it? What happened?"

I just quickly shook my head as he took a step towards the door, pulling him back. I didn't want him to see the devastation in there, it would break him.

"Joon wants you all to just search around and grab everything possible, okay?" I told him, stroking the back of his hand while I looked around for my hyung. "Jin hyung, can you come with me?"

"Yoongi?" Jimin said again, stopping me from turning back towards the door. I could see the concern in his eyes, his tired sunken eyes, and suddenly felt guilty for some reason. "Talk to me."

"Just go and see if there's anything worth grabbing," I forced a smile, though I just knew he saw straight through it. "We just need to deal with something, okay? We'll be out soon."

I received a little nod but Jimin very clearly wasn't under any illusions. He just kissed me before walking off to Tae, who was searching one of the cars.

"What is it?" Jin hyung asked, tearing my gaze away from my boyfriend and to him.

"Just..." I sighed, shaking my head. "Help us clean this up."

I gestured for him to go first and followed him back into the caravan. I watched as his face paled, the way his hand clamped over his mouth the way mine had.

"Can one of you do that one?" Namjoon asked, just finishing wrapping one of the corpses in the sheets. "I can't stomach doing that again."

I was about to offer but when I saw the young woman's body, rotting in the bed, I couldn't stop the bile rising in my throat. I tried to cover it with a cough, but the scene caused me to retch harshly.

"Go outside, you two," Jin hyung just sighed, visibly swallowing his own emotions to take control. "I'll do this, just step out."

I hesitated for half a second before stepping out, Namjoon following close behind, unable to stay in there a second longer. We just walked over to the others, at one of the cars. I cleared my throat before approaching Jimin, not wanting him to worry again.

"Then give it to Namjoon," Hoseok was saying, ruffling Jimin's hair as he pouted at some magazine.

"Give what to me?" Namjoon asked as we neared the car. I crouched by the back door, next to my boyfriend, and fixed his hair which Hobi left a mess.

"This," Jimin just shrugged, handing the magazine to Joon. The leader sat in front of him, on the road, and flicked through the pages. "English is making my headache worse."

"Do you want some more painkillers?" I asked, eyeing him carefully just to make sure I wasn't missing something. The sun was lowering now, indicating quite a while had passed since he last took some.

"If we have some," He nodded. I pulled my bag off my back, rummaging through it while Hobi gave him a bottle of water. I found the small box of paracetamol and handed it to him.

"You should let me teach you," Namjoon chuckled, disregarding the magazine after a moment. "English that is."

"No, I'm good," Jimin shook his head and, I swear, I had never heard him sound so sure. "I don't need more confusion in my life."

"Hey, guys," Tae spoke up from the front seat of the car, interrupting the sympathetic stare I had on my boyfriend. "Why is Kook storming around by himself?"

We all looked over to where Tae was pointing and, sure enough, saw Jungkook taking his anger out on a car door when it wouldn't open. He was banging and crashing around, making a hell of a lot of noise.

"I don't know but the kid needs to be quiet," Hobi sighed, shaking his head. "He's gonna draw too much attention to us."

"I'll go," Namjoon sighed, standing up and giving Chim his magazine back. "He's losing it, someone needs to knock some sense back into him before he gets himself hurt."

I felt Jimin nudge me slightly, with his foot, as if he was expecting me to say something but I just shook my head a little, at him. His expression dropped and he opened his mouth to speak himself but I shook my head again, giving him a small smile to tell him to let Namjoon deal with it. The pout I got in response wasn't as effective as he wanted it to be, since I just smiled more at how cute he looked.

"Poor kid," Hobi sighed as Namjoon walked off. I got a somewhat harsh kick in the side but I ignored my boyfriend's small tantrum.

"Have you found anything useful?" I asked, taking Joon's place on the road, sitting in front of Jimin.

"A lot of water," Hobi grinned, gesturing to a bag he had near his feet. "Some food, we even found a few blankets."

"I found a pack of English playing cards, they're still wrapped," Tae piped up from the driver's seat, waving a little box around with a grin.

"Give me that!" I scoffed, taking the box away from him, and catching a glimpse of the label. I wasn't the brightest person but I certainly knew Carlton was not a brand of playing cards. "Tae, these are cigarettes, you twat."

"They are?" He frowned, confusion painting over his face. I just unwrapped them and took one out to show him. "Oh... Well, that's disappointing."

"For you, it is," I shrugged, digging in my pocket to find my lighter, taking advantage of the free smokes. I light the cigarette up, taking a drag before putting the lighter away, happy to breathe in the familiar toxic smoke.

"Hyung," Hobi complained, sounding childish. "That stinks, can't you go somewhere else?"

I just breathed out the smoke through my nose, causing him to groan but Tae to giggle.

"You look like a dragon when you do that," He chuckled, grinning as I did it again.

"Pass one here," Jimin said, butting through the joke as he held his hand out. I frowned, about to say no, but wasn't given the chance when he stopped me with a firm voice. "Please."

"If hyung or Namjoon catch you..." I said, trying to persuade him to change his mind. I didn't really like the idea of Jimin smoking since he had only ever done it a few times. He was a fragile kid, at the end of the day. Knowing his luck, one smoke would probably leave him ill for days.

"Then we can have a joint funeral," He said, giving a slight eye roll as he curled his fingers as if to say hurry up.

Hesitating for a moment, I just gave in and handed him the one I had already half-smoked. I wasn't going to give him a full one, though if I said no that would have made me a hypocrite. Though, I was shocked when he just snatched it off me and started bumming it, quickly.

"Jiminie, slow down," I scolded him as he nearly finished the cigarette, my tone matching Hobi's disapproving glare. He didn't listen though, and he paid the price.

A harsh cough cut off his drag, causing him to double over and give in to the attack. I just sighed and reached up to take the cigarette away from him, rubbing his back to help him through the coughing fit.

"I told you to slow down," I said, clicking my tongue when he just waved me off.

"Yeah, yeah," He shrugged, leaning back in his seat, trying to catch his breath.

"Can I try?" Tae asked, sounding like a curious child and looking like one with his wide eyes.

"No!" We all said in unison, causing him to shrug and slump into his seat, throwing his feet over the steering wheel.

He didn't seem upset, to be honest, he didn't even seem disappointed which was good. The last thing we needed was Taehyung of all people throwing a temper tantrum over not being allowed to smoke.

"What is Jin hyung doing?" Jimin asked, looking over my shoulder. I turned only to see Hyung carrying out the corpses, wrapped in the sheets, looking like a ghost as he did so.

"Just cleaning up a bit," I turned back and gave Jiminie a small smile, patting his knee.

"Yoongi, Hobi, can you come here for a second?" Jin hyung called, waving us over, causing my heart to drop.

"Just give me a minute," I sighed, crushing out the cigarette and pushing myself off the ground. "I'll be back, I love you."

After giving Jimin a soft kiss, I walked over to Hyung with Hobi, praying to God that I wouldn't have to see any of that mess again. More importantly, I didn't want Hobi to see it.

As we entered the caravan, Jin hyung just silently gestured to a cupboard. I frowned slightly but when he pulled it open, showing us what was inside, I almost choked on my own spit. The door moved away and revealed nothing more than a miracle. 

-

"Hyung, this is amazing!" Hobi cried as we looked through the cupboard Hyung showed us.

In front of me, the cupboard was full of any type of medication we could think of, most of which were a necessity to us. Different kinds of painkillers and other more obscure medications such as sedatives... I had already sorted what inhalers were there, pushing them to the side for Tae, but the high amount of anti-convulsants was what really caught my eye.

The different names were throwing me off, causing me to make a mental note of checking them with Tae and Jimin, but there were several boxes of tablets I knew my boyfriend needed daily. Not only that but there were emergency medications as well, which kind of felt like a punch in the gut after last night, but was still incredibly helpful - just in case.

"How did you know this was here?" I asked sceptically, looking up at hyung. He looked back at me, with sad eyes, before reaching into his pocket and handing me a piece of paper.

I unfolded it with a frown, not really expecting what was written. I don't know what I was expecting but what I read made me feel sick to my stomach...

If you are reading this... Dear God, I'm a cliche.

Clearly, you are reading this. Clearly, I and my love have not been strong enough to be part of the new world that is waiting for the population.

Please, don't let finding us make you think you can't keep going. I am sure, if you have made it this far, you are strong - Strong enough to survive. Survive like we couldn't.

The engine keys to the truck are under the mattress of the top left bunk. There is also a key that leads to the metal cabinet above the fridge on the right side of the van.

In that cabinet, there is a wide selection of medications. My husband has had many health problems over the years, mental and physical, which was making it harder for us to keep going on. His health issues took a toll on our relationship, even when things were seemingly normal, and we just knew he wouldn't be able to last long with things how they are now. Physical exhaustion, mental stress and neurological problems are not a good combination for how we are expected to live now. It's not even easy without all these side issues, so we knew we wouldn't get far. Please understand, that his condition has been getting worse, and I cannot keep up. Nor could I live without him... He would rather be peaceful now than suffer later down the road. That is why we made this decision together.

If you are in need, take as much as you like. I hope it helps you get to a better place in this life. We all need to look out for each other now because nothing else will. I will list what medications there are, below.

Keep yourself safe, and may God bless you. Just because we weren't strong enough, that doesn't mean you're not.

Passing on all the strength I have left to you,

Kang Seul-gi

I felt my heart swell in my throat, cutting off my oxygen supply briefly. Those corpses we had just stumbled upon, that man... He was living in a very similar situation as my Jiminie... And, as time went on, he hit a point where he couldn't handle everything anymore...

The panic from earlier started bubbling up again. What if last night had left Jimin feeling like that? I hadn't had enough time to talk to him about it, so I didn't know how he was feeling.

Even if last night wasn't the last push, how long did we have until an emergency happened and it just pushed him over the edge?

Would we be forced into this position?

"Yoongi, read her words," Jin hyung spoke up and I could hear the caution in his tone. "Read them carefully and understand them. Do not get caught up in what happened. We are not them."

"I have, hyung," I said, handing the note back to him. I had read her words, more than enough, and all I needed at that moment was my boyfriend - just to see that all my morbid thoughts were just that, thoughts. "I'm gonna go out for a minute."

"Okay, honey," Jin hyung nodded but I was already out the door.

In the second that I stepped out and leaned against the motorhome, I had no time to even take a breath of fresh air before Namjoon was running over to me.

"I was just coming to get you," He said, his voice shaking and his eyes filled with concern. The look on his face already told me what he was going to say, it was the look he always wore when Jimin took a turn.

"Where is he?" I asked, feeling my body freeze over with panic.

"With Tae and Kook," Namjoon said, nodding over his shoulder and starting to walk back. "Quickly."

I kept my pace fast as I followed Namjoon to one of the cars and, there in front of Taehyung and Jungkook, Jimin was sitting on the road in the depth of a non-convulsive seizure. That little fact let my heart relax slightly but not enough.

"Move, Kook," I said but gave the maknae a soft look when I realised how harsh my tone was. He just nodded and moved so I could kneel in front of Jimin.

I took his small hand in mine, stroking over his knuckles, as he stared through me, eyelids softly flickering as tiny gasps escaped his lips.

"How long?" I asked, mentally forcing myself to calm down since the situation was nowhere near as serious as I had thought in my head.

"A minute," Jungkook said matter of factly. I gave a soft nod, grateful that he had some sort of superpower of knowing exactly how much time had passed. He always knew what the time was, how late we were, how long we had left, and so on.

"This is the second one, hyung," Namjoon said, his serious tone scaring me a little bit. "He had an absence, for about thirty seconds, and he came out of it a few minutes ago. I think he scared himself because he begged me to come and get you before going into another."

"He panicked?" I sighed, looking up at the leader who was comforting Jungkook. Jimin was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was five years old, but it was still a very scary disability; he still got scared of the seizures. This only ever made it worse, though.

"I think so," Namjoon nodded, sadly.

"Yeah," Taehyung chimed in. "Has his anxiety been playing up? I haven't seen him like that in a while..."

"I don't... Think so," I frowned at my dongsaeng, really not sure and suddenly feeling guilty. Had Jiminie been struggling again? "Seen him like what?"

"He just got panicky and shakey, like when we were younger..." Tae shrugged, trailing off as he rubbed Jimin's back, lightly.

I sucked in a sharp breath, the icy air instantly drying my throat, as I shook my head. These absent seizures had been happening all day, Jimin must have been at a breaking point by now. Seeing just how exhausted he was earlier, I don't know how much he had left in him.

My mind kept on screaming at me, that it was all because of last night. I had watched the boy, myself, take his medication but it hadn't worked the way it usually would. The medication would usually keep Jimin's seizures minimised to a pattern of four or five small ones a day. This was ridiculous and was getting dangerous!

"Come on, Jiminie," I sighed, running my fingers through my boy's hair as I was forced to simply watch and wait. "It's gonna pass, you know that."

The waiting was the worst, just having to sit and watch as he suffered. I hated it. It only got worse when little strained noises fell from Jimin's lips, indicating the seizure was only getting harsher on him.

"Chim, just relax," Taehyung said softly, continuing to rub his shoulders. "If you fight it, it gets worse. You know that."

Jimin only responded with a strangled whine, his lungs suddenly stopping him from breathing in for a second, which caused his eyes to roll up.

"Tae," I said lowly, still stroking the back of Jimin's hand to keep him calm.

"I know," Tae nodded and his shifted, making it so he could support the boy if needed.

And needed it was. It was that second when the seizure carried on and Jimin threw his head back onto the boy's shoulder, crying out as his body straightened out. I was forced to let go of his hand as his arms folded over his chest, his legs going straight.

"It's okay, Chim," Tae sighed, allowing the boy to lean into him, making sure he was supported properly. I could only watch as it got worse, harder for him to handle.

Jiminie's legs went stiff, straight in front of him and his arms were pushing into his chest. I saw as his eyelids kept flickering, his head only pushing on Tae's shoulder further. His jaw had locked shut, which I knew was dangerous, but I didn't mention anything just yet. Not until he started letting out little whines, showing just how much discomfort he was in.

"Jiminie, baby," I sighed, rubbing my hand up and down his leg to try and help him relax his muscles. He was starting to panic, trying to fight what was happening, but he was going to make it worse for himself. "Baby, you need to relax your body. You're struggling, honey."

I almost covered my ears when his breathing got ragged, more and more uneven, but that wouldn't have been fair. It would have been cruel, to say the least, especially when my baby needed me.

"Listen to me, baby, you're okay," I kept trying, even though it was becoming obvious that he couldn't hear me. "You're safe, just try and relax."

"Hyung..." I heard Jungkook behind me. Turning to see him, he had tears streaming down his cheeks. Namjoon's arm over his shoulders was doing little to comfort him, clearly. "He's going to be okay, right?"

I didn't answer, I didn't really know how to. Deep down, I knew Jiminie was going to be okay but, at that moment I was panicking. Even more so when Jimin started to turn into Taehyung, more. If he twisted around anymore, he was going to hurt himself.

"How long ago did you say this started?" I asked, mainly to the maknae since I knew he would have an accurate answer, no matter how distressed he was. Though Tae started to answer first.

"A couple of..."

"Three and a half minutes ago, hyung," Jungkook cut him off, like I was hoping he would. I gave him a small nod before turning back to my boyfriend, who had stopped fighting the seizure now and it took hold completely.

A retching sound left his throat, just as his limbs started to convulse. I felt the panic grow and choke me, but I knew I had to stay calm right now. Though it was hard, especially when this had been going on far too long and he had only just started convulsing; his luscious pink lips were turning purple, and drool was slipping from the corners of his closed mouth!

"Tae, try and lean his head forward," I quickly said, trying to keep my voice firm. Jimin would choke again if we didn't keep his mouth clear this time. That's what went so wrong last night. "Gently, but try. Otherwise, he'll choke."

Taehyung nodded, skillfully moving his shoulder forwards to help Jimin's head loll forwards against his chest. Relief hit me as I saw his lips part, just enough for him to be able to breathe through his mouth again. It was enough.

"Hyung..." Jungkook's shaky little voice came from behind me. I turned and was met with the sight of him practically sobbing. He looked terrified and understandably so.

"Jungkookie, I need you to go to Jin hyung, okay?" I asked him, taking his hand in mine but I couldn't tell who was shaking more. "Tell him to bring a box with benzodiazepine written on it. Be quick."

The maknae nodded and ran off, disappearing into the caravan in seconds.

"I'll go with him," Namjoon said with a slight crack in his voice. He just shook his head, walking over to follow Kook, though I could tell he was trying not to cry.

"This is bad, hyung," Taehyung said, keeping his voice calm. The only fault in his tone came from how Jimin's fists were smacking against his chest and winding him, though he didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

"I know," I just nodded, mentally wishing Kook would just hurry the fuck up. The longer he took, the longer Jimin had to suffer and it wasn't fair. "That's why I'm gonna give him a rescue tablet. Jin hyung found some in the caravan."

"Yoongi!" Hyung's voice finally came from behind me, as if on cue. I turned to see the rest of us running up. Hyung threw the box, which thankfully I caught well. "How bad is it?"

"Bad, hyung," Tae answered as I fumbled with the pillbox, scanning the label before popping one of the little tablets out and sighing.

"Jiminie, baby," I cooed, shuffling closer to gently lift my boy's head. His eyes were still rolled back, causing me to bite back a cry, but luckily his lips were still slightly parted. "Come on, baby, take this. It will help."

"Won't he choke?" Hoseok asked, causing me to sigh and shake my head as I gently pressed the tablet to the inside of Jimin's cheek. I wish my hands were cleaner but, quite frankly, that was the least of my worries.

"It'll dissolve," I said, carefully holding my boy's head up against Tae's shoulder, though I felt the extreme strain in his muscles fighting against me. "It'll start working in about twenty seconds. Hopefully, it'll stop them for the rest of the day as well."

Tae nodded, backing up what I was saying but the others didn't seem to be convinced until Jimin started to calm down not half a minute later.

Slowly his pink lips returned to just that, rather than purple, though it took him a little while longer to truly catch his breath. I just stayed by his side, refusing to move until I at least got eye contact, just so I knew he was really out of the seizure. Sometimes the meds didn't work completely, and I know he struggled to swallow them.

"Hyung, is the caravan clean now?" I asked without turning, carding my fingers through Jimin's hair as he started to come too, looking at all of us with dazed eyes as he laid limp against Taehyung. Tiny squeaks left his lips and his little shoulders bounced, but it only let me relax more. The hiccups were a good sign, at least he was bringing in air.

"It doesn't smell great," Jin hyung answered a few moments later, his voice small and unsure which caused me to frown at him. "But the mess is gone."

"Do you think you could help m get him to one of those bunks?" I asked, trying to think of the best thing to do. We couldn't just leave him sitting in the road while we finished collecting things, though moving him probably wouldn't help either right now.

"Well, there's a couch in there," Namjoon spoke up. "That may be more comfortable."

"Good point," I nodded, actually agreeing. The bigger space to rest probably would have been better, to be honest. "He just needs somewhere to lay down now."

"Are you okay?" Jin hyung asked Tae as he crouched next to us. Only then did I realise the younger was struggling for breath, a little, but he was refusing to acknowledge it.

"I'm fine," The boy frowned, clearing his throat to hide the wheezing sound. "Don't worry about me, worry about Chim."

Just as he started to sit more, Jimin leaned his head back on his shoulder, mumbling something so quiet and feeble I couldn't make it out.

"Over there, Chim," Tae gave a warm smile as he guided the boy to look at me, supporting the back of his neck so he couldn't hurt himself.

"Right here, Jagi," I smiled, taking Jiminie's hand as he made eye contact with me. I could see his bottom lip trembling as he bit back tears, so I just stroked the back of his hand, trying my best to comfort him. I still couldn't imagine just how scary those seizures were to go through all the time, but the bewilderment in his eyes gave me a pretty good indication. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. Jin hyung and I are gonna get you in the caravan okay? There's a couch that would be comfortable to sleep on, okay?" 

I got a small hum in response but Jimin just laid his head back again, leaning into Tae as his small shoulders bounced with hiccups. We gave him a little while to calm down and settle but, it wasn't long before he started to fall asleep. It was a long time coming but we still couldn't let him sleep on the side of the road, we had to move him again. 

"Let's get you inside, baby," I sighed, gently giving his shoulder a small shake before letting Tae lift him up, and helping him stand. "Then you can sleep, I promise."