"This is ridiculous," Hoseok sighed, as we walked down the long, empty, road. "How long are we going to push this before giving up?"

"We're not giving up," Namjoon said, sharply, glaring at Hoseok. "That is not an option."

"That..." Hoseok started, sounding slightly caught off guard and I felt bad for him. "That's not what I meant."

"We know, Hobi," I smiled at him, despite him shaking his head.

"I didn't mean give up on looking. We can't do that," He said, sheepishly. I think he thought Namjoon thought he was giving up on Taehyung, which I'm sure he wasn't. "I just meant in this direction. The road is just empty and leads to nowhere."

"We know, Hoseokie," I said again, walking up to stand by his side. "You have a point, but let's just go a little bit further. You never know what's around the..."

"Fuck!" I was cut off by Jungkook's scream. I didn't hesitate for a second before running back. I didn't realise how far behind us he was until I saw him being tackled by one of the dead. I ran as fast as I could, with Yoongi, to pry the two dead, now pinning the boy down, off of him. "Get these ugly fuckers off me!"

"Hold on!" Hoseok shouted. He and Namjoon were mere steps behind us as we ran to the maknae. The boy was holding the dead, with both arms, only just far enough away from his face. I grabbed my knife from my belt and got behind one of the dead - the one closest to killing the boy - and plunged it into its skull before dragging backwards. Yoongi had already pulled the other one off of Jungkook and had killed it.

I stood breathless for a second, trying to pull myself together, as Yoongi held his hand out to help Jungkook up. He pulled himself up but stayed quiet.

"Are you okay, Jungkook?" Namjoon asked.

I don't think he was answering the leader's question, but Jungkook just shook his head and brushed the dirt off his clothes. Hoseok walked over to him and started to check if he was okay, considering he had shaken his head.

"Are you hurt?" Hoseok asked, checking him but the boy just shrugged him off, making the elder step back.

"I'm fine, I'm okay," Jungkook snapped through gritted teeth.

Without saying anymore, he just raised his hand and pointed behind us. We turned around and saw, just through the trees, a large wooden rooftop. It didn't look too far away.

"Well, fuck me..." Namjoon said, causing me to glare at him. Jungkook swore out of panic, I accepted that, but there was no reason for the leader to swear. "How did we miss that?"

I and Hoseok shrugged but Jungkook just shook his head and scoffed, turning on his heel and walking off. I noticed he was limping slightly but decided to stay quiet, knowing he won't admit he was hurt. I followed him, Yoongi close behind. We were just walking up to the building, just behind the trees in front of it, when Namjoon noticed something.

"Hey, guys," Namjoon called from behind us, causing us to stop in our tracks. I frowned as I watched him look up to the sky in confusion. "Do you smell that?"

My frown deepened as I breathed in deeply.

"What is that?" I asked, unable to work out what it was I was smelling. There was definitely something in the air, but it just smelt... Off.

Hoseok started to breathe in, sniffing at the air like a dog would, causing Jungkook to smirk at him, turning away from the building. Hoseok chuckled when he noticed the boy.

"Guys!" I scolded, needed them to stop messing around and focus.

"Is that... Smoke?" Yoongi asked, pulling Jungkook back as they moved away from the building.

"It is, look there," Namjoon nodded, pointing upwards.

I looked and, sure enough, the was a stream of smoke coming from behind the building.

"It smells... Awful!" Hoseok suddenly complained, covering his nose with his hand, as a breeze of wind wafted the smoke over to us.

It made me cringe. It was awful! It smelt rotten.

"I'm gonna go check it out," Jungkook shrugged, casually strolling up to the building as if he was walking up to the corner shop on a Monday.

"Jungkook!" I hissed, hoping he'd stop, but he just ignored me.

What the hell was he doing?

It was way too risky to go up by himself. I was about to try again but Namjoon called first, a little louder than I did.

"Jeon Jungkook!" Namjoon called out, fairly loudly, causing me to focus on the trees - just to make sure nothing heard him.

Jungkook just ignored us again, and kept walking, causing us to sigh and chase after him. I had only just caught my breath from saving his behind and now I was having to run after him again.

What had gotten into him?

Why was he so reckless?

We ran up, following the maknae. There was a long, barbed-wire, fence surrounding the (what we could now tell was a) barn. We ducked under it and tried to catch up to Jungkook but he headed for the door.

"Jungkook!" Namjoon called out again, in a hushed but angry voice.

I glared at the maknae, furiously. My chest was heaving as I tried to catch my breath again.

Jungkook caught my eye and his expression took me aback, slightly. He was flushed with an angry look in his eye. I wasn't too sure what had triggered it unless he did actually hurt himself in the tackle, but he was seething.

In a second, he rolled his eyes at me, turned, and swung the door of the barn open, recklessly.

I let out a sigh of vexation and stormed up to him. We did not have time for him to start acting like a child, nor was it safe enough for him to act so carelessly. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back from the door.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I snapped at him, still pretty breathless. I kept my hand on his shoulder to make him look at me but he, harshly, shrugged me off. "Answer me!"

"The whole freaking place is empty!" He shouted at me, stepping back just a little bit so he was near the door again.

"Look at it! It's been completely run over!" He kept on, gesturing to the area around us.

I glanced around and realised he did have a point. The barn was old, the grass was overgrown, and it looked like no one had been here in months.

I wasn't about to agree with him though. The way the boy was behaving, he did not deserve the satisfaction of being right.

"Keep your voice down." Namjoon hissed, sounding really annoyed now.

Jungkook squinted his eyes at us for a second, and I could literally see the gears turning in his mind as he thought of how to react. And then, making us all jump back, he yelled out.

"Hey!" He shouted, looking around. He was clearly proving his point but his childlike behaviour was severely pissing me off now. It left me confused, Jungkook never acted like this! "Hey, come out!"

The maknae was always the clever, careful, one. He never took risks when it came to our safety. It was starting to make me worry.

Jungkook moved back to the door and kicked it in, causing a loud thud to ring out as the door hit the ground, dusting rising from it. What the hell was wrong with him?

I stalked over to him, angry at the max now. I did not have the energy to deal with this ridiculous temper tantrum.

I grabbed him by the shoulder, again, and dragged him away from the barn, smacking him over the back of his head to try and knock some sort of sense into him.

The boy dropped his gaze to the floor and fell silent, giving me a chance to finally try and get an answer from him as to why he was acting this way. Unfortunately, I was too angry and worked up to do it calmly.

"We do not have time for you to throw a temper tantrum!" I told him, through gritted teeth. I glared my eyes at him as he rubbed the back of his head. I felt guilty as I saw the embarrassed flush on his cheeks, but I was still mad at him. "So either you pack it up and tell us just what the hell has gotten into you, or you can head back!"

"Jin hyung..." Yoongi spoke up, seemingly in the boy's defence. I frowned at him, not expecting him to be the one to tell me to calm down, after the way he treated Jimin. "Leave him alone."

I sighed, shaking my head, before stepping back a bit. Jungkook just stood silently for a few more moments, staring at the ground before swearing under his breath. He turned, quickly, on his heel and stormed off.

"Where do you think you're going?" Namjoon called, trying to get Jungkook to stop. The boy just shrugged, not turning back to give us a second glance.

"Jungkook, stop!" He shouted after him.

The maknae's only response was to raise his middle finger to us. I stood, staring after him, absolutely seething.

"Just let him walk," Hoseok said, sounding like he was the only somewhat calm one. "The kid just needs to cool off, he knows his way back."

I just shook my head, kicking the ground with my foot, in frustration. Everyone fell silent until Yoongi let out a small, sarcastic chuckle.

"I guess he wasn't wrong, though," He said, with a scoff. "It is empty."

"He may be irritating," Nmjoon sighed, shaking his head. "But he's extremely clever."

I scoffed, not being able to disagree. Jungkook was incredibly clever, to a genius level. He was always three steps ahead of everyone, never missing a thing.

"Should we check this place out then?" I asked, exasperated. I just wanted to get this over with now.

A sharp rush of wind sent a shiver down my spine and it made me worry about Jimin on the road. We needed to hurry up and get back to them.

"Yes, we should," Namjoon agreed. "If there is anything, and I mean anything, worth grabbing - take it. Food, water. Medicine is the most important, but also have a look around. If this place is safe enough to spend the night in, we'll come back."

"But Kook killed the door." Hoseok pointed out, pointing towards the door that was now laying on the floor.

"I can fix that," Yoongi shrugged, looking at the door and assessing the damage. " Hammer and a couple of nails, won't take ten minutes."

"Well, let's have a look around then," I said, stepping over the broken door and entering the barn.

"I'm gonna go around the back, quick," Namjoon told us, holding back a bit. "See what that smell is."

"Okay well, be careful, Joon," I said, giving him a serious look before ushering the other two into the barn.

As we walked in, the smell of damp wood filled my nostrils. It was hard to look around, due to the lack of light, but the sun shone through the wooden walls. Every time I took a step forward, a big cloud of dust rose from the floor. I looked around, taking in the room I was in. There was another room to my left and my right.

Shelves were lining the walls in the room we were in, and they were full of cans and bottles and boxes. Hoseok and Yoongi were already picking things up and inspecting them, I, however, kept my eye on the door.

I wanted to stand back, just in case Namjoon called out or the dead started to sneak upon us.

"Guys..." Yoongi called out from behind me. I was about to turn around and see what was wrong but Hoseok beat me to it, leaving me to keep watching the door. I strained my ears, trying to listen to their soft chatter while still focusing on the trees.

"Jin hyung," I heard Hoseok call. I turned to see him and Yoongi scanning through one of the shelves.

"What is it?" I asked, walking over and standing with them.

"Jin hyung, I think people are living here..." Yoongi told me, nodding toward the shelves full of boxes and cans. I quickly scanned my eyes over the items, noticing it was all food. I took a can off the shelf. It was spotless, clean, and looked new.

"I think you're right," I nodded.

"Well, so much for abandoned." Yoongi scoffed, looking through the rest of the cans.

"We can't take this if it belongs to someone," Hoseok said, putting down the can he had in his hand. "We can't steal it."

"Is stealing even a thing anymore?" Yoongi asked, a small sarcastic tone lining his voice.

"Yes," I said, my voice firm. The world may have changed, and everything may have ended up in a terrible state, but that didn't mean our morals had to change. Just because the world became a bad place to live, we didn't have to become bad people. "It is, and we are not doing it. We will not take someone else's supplies."

-

"Guys," Namjoon's voice came from the door, causing our heads to shoot up. Hoseok and Yoongi placed the packets back on the shelf. Our leader walked in, followed by two young girls. I shot him a look of confusion as he walked up to us. "This is Jisoo and Rosé, this is their barn but they've agreed to help us if we help them."

"How can we help?" Yoongi asked. His question seemed more of confusion rather than offering help.

"They have been spilt up from the rest of their group, I said we will help them look for them once we get Jimin and Taehyung back here," Namjoon said. The girls stayed quiet, seeming to be uncomfortable but it was clear they were quick to trust Namjoon - by the way, they were almost hiding behind him. "The other two of the group are called Lisa and Jennie. They're the same age as the maknaes."

"We'll help you, for sure," I said, nodding my head. I couldn't imagine just how nerve-wracking it would be to be split from your group, but I know I wouldn't be able to cope if I didn't know where my brothers were. "You'll see your friends again, I promise."

"Thank you," One of the girls, Jisoo, the one who seemed to have a bit more confidence, said. "We just need them safe, I'm sure you understand."

"I do," I nodded, thinking back to Jimin and Taehyung, alone on the road. "I really do."

"What can we do to help you?" Jisoo asked. I noticed her holding the other girl's hand tightly, almost as if she was keeping her close so she didn't lose her. It was like how Yoongi held his arm around Jimin's waist so he knew he was there next to him. It was a protective/defensive stance.

"We need medicine," Hoseok piped up, stepping forward slightly so he was standing next to Namjoon. "One of our brothers is really ill and feverish."

"So... You need antibiotics?" Jisoo asked, a thoughtful look on her face.

"Yeah," I said, trying to remember what Hoseok had said earlier so I could explain properly. "I have a feeling one of the members of our group, back on the road, is developing a chest infection of some sort, maybe bronchitis. He's asthmatic."

Rosé let go of Jisoo's hand and went behind Hoseok, picking up a small metal box off of one of the shelves before handing it to me. "Well, this is our medicine box. If you can find something in there that will help, take it."

"You can take some food as well if you need to," Jisoo said, kindly, gesturing to the shelves.

"You're too kind," Hoseok smiled, sweetly at her, bowing his head ever so slightly. "Thank you so much."

I chuckled slightly at his very clear use of flattery but Jisoo seemed to ignore it as she walked over to show him and Yoongi what we could take. Rosé handed me a small key for the box I was holding. I thanked her and opened it, rummaging through all the small medication boxes to see what we could use for Taehyung.

"Joon," I said, waving him over. He came over to me and started looking at the boxes. "There's antibiotics and fever meds. This is perfect."

"Take anything you need," Rosé smiled, her voice small and shy.

"Thank you," Namjoon smiled at her, "This really means a lot."

"Just help us find our sisters," Rosé said, her tone as almost pleading as the look in her dark eyes. "Please, please, help us."

My heart sank hearing this, feeling bad for the girls. I nodded at her, reconfirming my previous words. I wanted to hug her but feared that would make her uncomfortable.

"Shit!" I heard Yoongi suddenly exclaim as he rushed around. He pushed past me almost knocking me forward, with Hosoek following after him. He was mumbling to himself as he went to leave the barn, quickly.

"Where are you going, Yoongi?" I called after him, concern and confusion lining my tone. I shot Hoseok a look, demanding an explanation for why Yoongi was panicking.

"I knew I shouldn't have left him!" Yoongi shouted, running out of the barn.

"Yoong-Yoon..." Namjoon tried shouting after him but he was already gone. "Oh, for Christ's sake!"

"What's going on?" Jisoo asked, sounding really confused. I shot Hoseok another look, backing up her question.

"Jimin hasn't taken his tablets," Hoseok almost whispered, shaking his head. I heard the worry in his voice, the same amount of worry that was filling my stomach.

I knew we shouldn't have left him there. Only bad thoughts filled my mind, memories of being on the road before Jimin had serious seizures - with dead sneaking upon us, not giving us any time to breathe.

One specific memory, of before we found the storage warehouse, sparked in my head. Jimin, struggling desperately through a tonic-clonic seizure and was close to going into Status Epilepticus, Taehyunng and Yoongi by his side panicking, while the rest of us had to fight the dead swarming us. We were exhausted by the time we had taken all the monsters down, but none of us was in as bad shape as Jimin. It took three hours for him to come around and three days to feel somewhat normal. I had never seen him have such an intense seizure, in all the years I had known him, and I had thought we had almost lost him. If I'm honest, I don't think he has ever been the same since. He always attached himself to someone's side after that, mainly Yoongi or Taehyung. It was so scary, it was terrifying.

I shook my head, trying to think positive but I couldn't get the thoughts out of my mind.

"What does that mean?" Jisoo asked, hoping for some kind of explanation.

"Jimin, one of our group, is back on the road. He's epileptic, it's fairly severe, and, for some reason, he hasn't taken his medication today, apparently." Namjoon said, shaking his head. I'm sure he was feeling a little guilty, he was the one who pushed us to leave him. He looked up and connect his gaze with mine. I glared slightly and he knew what I was thinking. He knew I was against the idea in the first place.

"I'm gonna go back with him," Hoseok said, his voice shaky, going to grab his bag. "Just in case things have taken a turn. You know how bad he can get."

I looked at him, seeing the worry and concern swimming in his eyes. I knew just how much he worried about Jimin, he was so protective over him, but we kind of needed him to stay with us to help.

"Stay here, Hobi, it's gonna be okay," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. I wasn't sure if I was trying to reassure him or myself more, though. "Jimin will be alright, he always is. Yoongi will get there, and I'm sure Kook is with him by now."

Hoseok just shook his head, his lips trembling slightly as if he was holding back tears. "I want to go, hyung."

"Just stay here, honey. We won't be long," I said, rubbing my hand up and down his arm, comfortingly. Hoseok just looked at me with sad, worried, puppy dog eyes and slowly nodded his head.

"We'll fix the door and head back," Namjoon said, looking to Jisoo to confirm that was an okay plan.

"We'll come back with you, see if we can find my dongsaengs on the way," Jisoo nodded. "It's worth looking."

"Do you have any tools?" Namjoon asked Jisoo. "The quicker we get this fixed, the quicker we can go."

"Yeah," Jisoo nodded, turning and going to a small box in the corner of the room. "Here."

She handed Namjoon a hammer and some long, rusty, nails. He took them and I couldn't help but notice the lost expression on his face as he went over to the door. I went over to help him, knowing damn well he'd only make a mess of it.

We managed to lift the door up from the ground, coughing slightly as the dust rose and entered our lungs. It took a long while but, with work and forced patience, we managed to nail the door back onto the wall. The hinges were wonky and the door made a horrible squeaking noise as it moved, but it was functioning so we left it at that. There was no point in wasting time trying to fix it perfectly, as long as it opened and closed properly.

"Right, we need to head back," Hoseok said, sounding in a hurry, as soon as Namjoon placed the hammer down. He was standing just outside the door, keeping an eye on the trees as the hammer was making a lot of noise. "Come on."

"Calm down, Hobi," I sighed, hating how panicked he was, grabbing my bag before collecting the box of antibiotics from the shelf. "We're going, come on."

"There's a wheelchair in the shed," I heard Jisoo tell Namjoon as we grabbed our bags. "You can take it if that helps."

"Yes, thank you," Namjoon nodded. "That would be great."

"I'll go and grab it," Jisoo said heading out of the barn.

She came back with the wheelchair, handed it to Namjoon, and with that, we collected the rest of our stuff and headed back to the cars, the girls following in tow.

-

As we pushed our way through the trees and got onto the road, a lump grew in my throat as I saw the state of the road. At least ten lifeless corpses were scattered around and blood covered every inch of the surrounding area.

"What the..." Hoseok started, sounding horrified, but was cut off by excited squeals.

"Lisa, Unnie!" Rosé exclaimed, running up to two unfamiliar girls sitting in front of Hoseok's car, Jisoo following quickly. I was relieved when the girls recognised each other. It was so heartwarming to see them reunited and it took a huge weight off my shoulders. Though, I still felt concerned.

I couldn't see any of our group, only the two young girls. A sense of dread filled in my chest, fearing the worst as I looked around for my brothers, who weren't in sight. That was until Yoongi poked his head out of the backseat of Hoseok's car, visibly sighing a deep breath of relief when he saw us.

We quickly walked up to the car, my heart dropping, as did Hoseok's when we saw Jimin fast asleep on Yoongi's lap, pale as snow. I shook my head, only imagining what happened while we were gone. Hoseok ran up, quickly taking a seat in the front seat, throwing questions of concern and panic at the older man, while he just shook his head not seeming able to answer.

"I'm going to go check on Taehyung," I said quietly to Namjoon, giving Yoongi a sympathetic smile before making a start for Jungkook's car. I wanted to get the medication to Taehyung as quick as possible.

"Okay, hyung," Namjoon nodded, following me over with the wheelchair Jisoo had given us.

I audibly sighed in relief as I saw Jungkook and Taehyung sleeping in the backseat. Quietly, I slipped into the seat next to Taehyung and gave his shoulder a gentle shake, as Namjoon sat in the driver's seat.

"Tae Tae," I tried waking him as he stirred slightly, Jungkook waking first from the movement in the car. Some colour had returned to Taehyung's face and his breathing was quieter and calmer, but I didn't miss the tear stains on his cheeks, causing me to frown slightly. "We got you some antibiotics, buddy."

"You actually found some?" Jungkook asked with a croak, still half asleep. I cocked an eyebrow at him, noticing he seemed a lot calmer than he was earlier.

"Yeah, there was a group of girls at the barn," Namjoon explained as I tried waking Taehyung again, who just groaned and turned away. He was always difficult to wake, but this time he just wasn't even trying. "I guess it was so empty after all... They offered us a place to stay, medication, and food if we helped them find their sisters. Seems like you already took care of that, though."

"They were already here when I got back..." Jungkook mumbled, shaking his head. I saw the tiredness and stress dancing in his eyes. Something bad went down while we were gone, I could just sense it. "Useless bitches..."

"Yah!" I scolded, not believing I had just heard those words leave the maknae's mouth. "What is going on with you? Why are you acting like this? It's horrible!"

Jungkook just scoffed, getting out of the car, and shaking his head. "As if you care..."

"Yah! Don't you dare-" I went to call him back, deeply hurt by his words but Namjoon just shook his head at me. I exhaled, heavily, trying to shake off the hurt of Jungkook's comment when Taehyung started to wake up properly.

"Hyung," He mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Lay off him, he's stressed."

"Ah, he's alright," I shook my head, grabbing the box of tablets from my jacket pocket. "Here, we managed to find some meds." I handed the boy two of the red and black tablets as Namjoon passed a bottle of water back to him. I frowned and shot Namjoon a look when I saw the plastic bottle was half empty, but the leader shrugged - silently telling me that's all we had left. Taehyung just shrugged, tiredly, and took the tablets.

"Is Chim okay?" He asked us suddenly, recapping the water bottle, deep concern filling his round eyes. "Where is he? Is someone still with him?"

"Um, he's with Yoongi, sleeping," I said, not sure how to answer since I didn't know what had happened.

"What happened, Tae?" Namjoon asked, a concerned look filling his eyes.

"I don't really know," He said, truthfully, sitting himself up slightly and leaning against me. I just laid my arm over his shoulders so he could get comfortable. "I was sleeping but heard shouting and screaming. Those girls... Jimin was having a seizure and Jungkook was here. He was trying to help him but I don't think he knew what to do. I think he was scared. I tried to help but I just... I couldn't get out of the car..." He said, starting to tear up.

"Yoongi got back and Jungkook came over and told me he's okay but, from what I saw, it looked bad," He continued as I sighed, shaking my head and rubbing my temples. "It seemed to go on a really long time, like the one last month! Even though Kook said it was only three minutes, it felt longer. I didn't think it was ever going to stop. But... Wait! He was alone when it started, he didn't hit his head did he? Is he okay? I swear to God, I tried to get to him, I just... Couldn't!"

I sighed, looking up at him with sympathy. For Taehyung to panic over one of Jimin's seizures was rare since he had been by his side for every single one, since they were kids, holding his hand. He knew exactly how to handle them, and what to do, and always kept perfectly calm and level-headed. So, from the fear in the boy's eyes, I could tell that it really was a bad one.

"He'll be okay, Tae," Namjoon said reassuringly, leaning over and patting his knee comfortingly. "Hobi's with him, so if he did hurt himself, he's in the right hands."

I nodded, agreeing. Hoseok had, pretty much, become the doctor of the group - since he definitely had the most medical knowledge. I don't know where he had picked up all this information, but I'm glad he did. Whenever one of us was injured, he knew exactly what to do. Whenever one of us was sick, he knew exactly what medication we needed.

"I should've been there, with him..." Taehyung mumbled, dropping his gaze to his feet. I could see the guilty tension in his shoulders and rubbed his back slightly, reassuring him everything was going to be okay. "I know Jungkook was scared, whoever those girls are were too. God knows he must've been. He's never been alone like that when one started, never. Why was he even here by himself anyway? Where was everyone?"

"He wanted to stay with you," Namjoon sighed. "We needed to go and look for medicine but we couldn't leave you by yourself."

"So you left him by himself?" Taehyung asked, his tone sharp and accusing as he squinted his eyes. He was right, and I knew damn well he wouldn't have been okay with the decision earlier, in fact, he would have probably been harsher than Yoongi was if it meant the boy was safe.

"He insisted, didn't really give us another option. He's a tough kid, though, Tae," I sighed, smiling slightly at him to calm him. "He did well and would have been fine if it wasn't for the dead. But, anyway... It's going to take a hell of a lot more than a seizure to break him,"

I glanced out of the window and saw Yoongi getting out of the other car, guiding Jimin as they sat down on the grass. Jimin laid his head on Yoongi's shoulder as the elder laid his arm over his shoulders protectively. The small boy had his eyes closed but the couple were talking quietly to each other. I smiled and gestured for Taehyung to look out the window. "See?"

He took a deep breath, his shoulders visibly relaxed as he saw his best friend was okay. I smiled at him softly, moving away slightly to sit up.

"He never ceases to amaze me," Taehyung scoffed, smiling warmly at the couple.

"He's definitely one of the strongest people I know," I smiled and Namjoon nodded, agreeing.

"He is the strongest person I know," Taehyung added, not breaking his gaze away from his soulmate. I just smiled and patted his shoulder, comfortingly.

As I looked out of the window, I noticed the sun was starting to set fairly quickly now, casting a rusty-orange colour over the road. "I think, now, we should start thinking about moving. You know, before it gets too dark."

"I agree," Namjoon nodded, shifting slightly in his seat. "Do you want to go and get everyone to start collecting things?"

"Yeah, okay," I nodded, giving Taehyung's shoulder a small rub as I got out of the car.

As I walked around, I went to the boot and had a look at what we had. I noticed a box of some small cereal bars and grabbed them, deciding to take them to the girl group. It was the least we could do for them, after everything they were doing for us - even if it was our last bit of food.

"Excuse me, Jisoossi," I said, sheepishly as I interrupted the girls. They were mid-conversation, chatting and giggling slightly, but looked up as I walked up to them.

"Yes, Seokjinssi?" Jisoo piped up, looking up at me. She was still holding Rosé's hand, tight. I couldn't tell whether it was protectively or comfortingly.

"I was just bringing these over," I smiled kindly, handing her the box of cereal bars. "I wouldn't want to see you girls going hungry."

"Thank you so much, Mister!" One of the girls that were already here, one with a full fringe, exclaimed, snatching the box away before Jisoo could take it. I chuckled at her but Jisoo shot her a somewhat harsh glare.

"You're welcome," I shrugged. "I'm just sorry it's not more. It's all we have."

"You shouldn't be giving us the last of your food..." Jisoo sighed, sadly but I just smiled at her.

"Honestly, it's fine," I said, reassuringly. "It's to say thank you, for giving us a place to stay tonight. Two of my brothers' lives are depending on being out of the cold tonight, so I simply can't thank you enough."

"Well, you're welcome. Anything to help," Jisoo smiled back, as the other girls grabbed a cereal bar each. "And thank you, for helping us."

"We need to help each other now, no more of that every person for themselves bullshit," The girl with the fringe added. "It just doesn't work. We need to look out for each other."

"Right, I'm gonna go and sort things out," I smiled, kindly, at the girls before dismissing myself from the conversation. I went up to the other car and saw Hoseok pulling out a few bags, so I decided to help him.

"How's Jimin?" I asked as I approached Hoseok. He glanced up at me and smiled softly.

"He's alright," He shrugged, pulling out the last bag from the boot of the car and turning to me properly. "I checked him over, he's fine now. Apparently, it was a pretty rough one but he's almost back to his old self now. Just tired."

I nodded understanding, grabbing a few of the bags off the floor. They were pretty light, due to the lack of supplies we had, so I didn't mind carrying them. As we both turned from the car, to see the rest of the group, I noticed the girl with fringe going over to Jungkook. I frowned slightly as she skipped her way over, as did the maknae.

It seemed she was starting to spark a conversation with him but he didn't seem at all interested.

"They've been going for a while," Hoseok chuckled, shaking his head.

"Whatcha mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the younger.

"Before she went back to the girls, they were chatting," Hoseok said, the amused smile still on his lips. "Looked pretty flirty to me, though I don't think they'd say the same thing."

"It looks like arguing to me," I shrugged, noticing the harsh look on Jungkook's face as he finally started to speak to the girl. They were talking rather harshly to each other, to be fair, but Jungkook seemed to be more annoyed at the fact the girl wouldn't stop talking. It seemed like that girl could speak for the whole of Korea, she just didn't seem to have an off switch. "About ... Food?" I asked trying to make out what their conversation was about.

"What's going on?" Namjoon asked from behind us. I saw that he had managed to persuade Taehyung to use the wheelchair since he was pushing the, now, sleeping boy up to us. "What's up with the kiddos?"

"They're flirting," Hoseok chuckled as Namjoon knelt down to adjust Taehyung's head, so he was comfortable.

"They are not flirting, they're bickering," I laughed lightly. "They've been going for half an hour apparently,"

"What are they bickering about then?" Namjoon rephrased his question, watching the two as we did. It was amusing, I'm not going to lie. Seeing this girl trying to defeat Jungkook's stubborn side. I knew for a fact she'd fail though.

"Different things," Hoseok shrugged. "We've had five different topics in the last thirty minutes alone."

"At the moment I think Jungkook caught her with another cereal bar," I chuckled. "He's trying to claim that she's stealing our food."

"Is she?" He asked me, his tone suddenly turning rather serious.

"I gave her the bar myself," I laughed, shaking my head, and patting Namjoon on the shoulder reassuringly. Joon just laughed and stood himself up straight.

"Well, go and break it up," He smiled at Hoseok, giving him the difficult job since he would be the one to do it calmly. "I'm gonna go and check on Yoongi and Jimin. If they're ready, we should get moving."

Hoseok nodded and headed over to the youngest two. "I'll go and talk to the other group," I said, grabbing a few more of the bags off the ground. "See what they're ready to do."

"Good idea," Namjoon nodded, leaving me with Taehyung.

I sighed as I saw the boy sleeping again, peacefully this time. I grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and gently wheeled him over to the girls.

"Namjoon's thinking about going soon," I said as Jisoo turned to me, seeing me walk over. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Jisoo nodded, the girls doing so as well. "We should leave before it the sun's gone completely."

"Exactly," I agreed. "Namjoon's just checking on Jimin, and then I think we'll be ready to go."

"Is Jimin okay?" One of the new girls asked quietly. She seemed really timid and, honestly, I don't think I'd even I had heard her speak until now.

"He will be," I smiled, nodding, remembering that she was here when the seizure happened. "Unfortunately, this happens more often than not, but he's a strong kid. He always gets through it."

The girl nodded and smile sweetly, I caught her looking at Taehyung with a soft look. 

 "Thank you for all your help, by the way," I said, addressing all the girls, minus the one still with Jungkook. "As I said, earlier, they'll be okay, thanks to you."

It was then that Namjoon walked over and stood with us.

"Who are we missing?" He asked me, noticing it was only me and Taehyung with the girls. He replaced my hands on the back of the wheelchair. "I know Yoongs is with Chim."

"Hobi hyung's with them," Jungkook said, from behind us, heading over with the girl hot on his heels. He wore a smug smirk while the girl was red and flustered. I knew she wouldn't win, I thought with a smirk. "I think they're getting something out of my car."

"Have we got everything?" I asked Namjoon and the girls, making sure we were ready as well. They looked around to double-check but ended up nodding.

"Are you sure you're okay with us coming back with you?" Namjoon asked Jisoo, who just nodded again.

"Of course," She smiled, and I saw the other three girls nodding in agreement. Lisa nodded despite looking really sulky and kicking the ground. "It wouldn't be right to leave you out here in the cold when we know, damn well, that we have room. Especially when two of you are ill."

"You have no idea how grateful we are," Namjoon said, genuinely. "We really do owe you." Jisoo just bowed her head to us politely, which made me smile.

"Are we ready to go?" Hoseok's cheery voice came from behind us. Yoongi, Jimin and he were on their way over to us. I noticed Yoongi and Jimin sharing a little chocolate bar and smiling softly at each other, which warmed my heart.

"We need to be," Jungkook said. "The sun's setting, it's gonna take a while to get there."

"You're right, Kook." Namjoon said, a thoughtful look on his face. "let's grab everything and get going."

We all agreed, grabbed our bags and made a start for the trees. I didn't miss the opportunity to thank the girl for helping us carry our supplies. We went through the trees, not turning back to the cars at all. 

-

"Do you think it's much further, unnie?" Rosé asked Jisoo in a whisper. The girls had led us in a different way from what we took earlier, which confused me slightly. The sun had completely set and the sky was now navy blue, the icy wind blasting through the trees, casting black silhouettes over the path we were walking. I didn't really enjoy the idea of not knowing where we were heading in the dark, feeling lost and slightly paranoid, but the girls seemed to know exactly where they were going, so I chose to trust them.

I was walking up the front with Jisoo, Jennie and Rosé. I could hear Lisa and Jungkook quietly squabbling behind us, the conversations sounded rather heated and tense, once again. I felt like turning and telling them to keep quiet but, after a while, I decided just to leave them to it. Jungkook was smart enough to shut up if he heard anything. Namjoon and Hoseok were with Taehyung, while Yoongi was practically carrying Jimin, who was struggling to stay on his feet. Every so often, I shot a concerned look back at my brothers, just to make sure they were all still there.

"About twenty more minutes," Jisoo whispered back, softly, smiling at her sisters. "We're nearly there, I promise."

"Just a little bit further, guys," I turned and whisper-yelled to the group, to let them know the endless walk was almost over. I caught sight of Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin, and frowned slightly. I gasped as I saw Jimin's expression change in a split second, his eyes drifting up.

"Help, help me!" Yoongi begged Namjoon, rather loudly, as Jimin suddenly went limp in his arms. My eyes widened and my feet moved before my brain had processed what actually happened.

"Keep watch!" I ordered quickly, gesturing for Hoseok and Jungkook to watch the trees as I ran past them. Both Yoongi and Namjoon were struggling to hold Jimin up, as the deathly pale boy stared blankly through the floor. "What's going on?"

"It's an Atonic," Yoongi said, the panic evident in his voice. I shot him a confused look, not exactly believing him at first. Jimin's Atonic seizures never usually lasted longer than a few seconds, yet he was still dazed and unresponsive. "We can't do this. Jimin, come on babe."

"What do we need to do?" Namjoon asked, still making sure to keep his voice hushed, at the same time Jimin started making a small whimpering noise, which kind of reminded me of a hurt puppy. It was clear the seizure was over, but the boy hadn't regained any of his strength.

"We need to hurry up!" Yoongi said, his tone rushed as he held Jimin limp in his arms, still. "We need to get there quick."

I turned to the others, who were watching the scene with panicked expressions, and silently gestured for them to continue walking. Jisoo nodded to me and they carried on. Jungkook grabbed the wheelchair since Hoseok was hesitant to move. I gave him a small nod to tell him it was okay, but Jungkook grabbed his shoulder and forced him forward.

"He's not gonna be able to walk," Yoongi cried, softly, as Jimin's tiny body was still motionless in his embrace. I sighed, deeply, knowing he was right. Jimin's eyelids were fluttering with exhaustion as he used the last little bit of strength, he had left, to hold onto Yoongi. I moved Yoongi over and lifted the boy into my arms, making sure my hold on him was secure. "Jin hyung, be careful. He could start seizing. You can't hold him still."

"I've got him, Yoongs," I smiled slightly at him, trying to reassure him. "I'll go ahead, I'm quick."

"That's a good idea, hyung," Namjoon nodded, patting Yoongi's shoulder reassuringly.

"I'll go with you," Yoongi said, gently stroking Jimin's fringe out of his eyes as he stared up at the sky.

"I'll let the others know, just go," Namjoon said, ushering us on. And so we went, as fast as we could, Jisoo quickly pointing us in the right direction.

"Straight ahead," She called after us, slightly confusion lining her tone as we rushed past her.

"Come on," I said to Yoongi, as we ran ahead. "Just keep your guard up."

Yoongi grabbed hold of his knife in his belt but, it was obvious and, I knew he wasn't able to focus on anything.

"You're alright, Chim," I said quietly to the boy in my arm. He was letting his gaze follow the trees above us but it was clear he just wasn't with it anymore, exhausted beyond belief. I just kept whispering to him, mainly trying to keep him conscious as well as keep him calm. Jimin always tended to panic when he started to get run down and tired since he knew the risks of it. Though, I honestly think he was past the point of knowing what was going on, anyway. "I've got you, honey, it's okay. You're gonna be just fine, I promise."

We were moving as fast as we could, though I was trying my best to keep Jimin still in my arms so he didn't hurt his neck or anything. I squinted, trying to see what was in front of me, clearer. Our pace was so fast that the trees were starting to become more like shadows in the dark.

"There's the roof!" Yoongi suddenly said, his voice hushed but firm. He was keeping quiet and somewhat alert, but he was only inches away from me and his eyes were locked firmly on his boyfriend. I nodded and started running even faster, despite my lungs burning and my legs feeling like jelly.

I caught sight of the barn and took in a breath of relief, though it wasn't deep since I was so breathless.

"Hold on, Chim," I said softly as Jimin shifted every so slightly in my hold, whining quietly as he bounced a little from the movement of running. I could feel as he grew more and more uncomfortable, his body slowly going stiff. "We're almost there, kiddo. Just hold on. Yoongs, we need to hurry."

"I know," Yoongi whispered back, sounding like he had been sprinting a marathon. I tried to go even faster but it caused Jimin to bounce more in my arms. He let out soft little cries, not liking the abrupt movement.

"I'm sorry, Jiminie," I said softly, feeling awful. "We're almost there, I promise."

I could see the barn getting closer but it just wasn't close enough. Jimin let out a sharp cry, and I felt my arms grow weak, as he threw his head back. Harsh cries left the boy's lips as his body stiffened and tried to straighten out.

I would have laid him down, instantly... In any other circumstance. It was way too dangerous, right now, and the barn was so close. We didn't have any choice at this point.

"Jimin, come on baby." Yoongi cried as Jimin started to convulse in my arms. Now and then, Jimin's tiny fists hit my chest, making it hard for me to breathe, but I kept running. I could hear his choked moans and gasps in my ear, but I just couldn't do anything about it. I just had to keep running, I couldn't stop.

I carefully propped him up in my arms, as much as I could, so his head was against my shoulder. At least if he was propped up, he couldn't choke - I thought, though my plan didn't seem to be working as well as I wanted it to.

"Quickly!" I ordered Yoongi as we finally got to the barn. I hopped over the wire fence, almost dropping the boy in the process but I managed to keep him in my arms.

As we reached the door, Yoongi swung it open, causing it to slam into the wall with a bang. I ran into the room and laid Jimin down, as carefully as I could. Yoongi instantly placed his hands under Jimin's head, to stop him from hitting the ground, and rolled him on his side.

"He's going to be okay, right?" I asked, jogging back to secure the door, making sure it was shut properly. Yoongi didn't answer me and all I could hear was Jimin grunting as his body kept convulsing. It was starting to go on too long. I hadn't focused enough to time the seizure but I already knew we had passed three minutes, which was how long these usually lasted but he wasn't showing any sign of stopping.

"Hyung, I need you!" Yoongi called, sounding heartbroken, his voice cracking as he tried to focus. I looked at the door, one last time, checking that it was secure before running over to him. "Rub his back, try and get him to cough up some of the drool he swallowed."

I knelt behind my little brother, rubbing circles on the top of his back, as his arms and legs kept jerking. I could feel tears blind my vision as a horrific sense of guilt rose inside me. The only noise to be heard was horrible, foul gagging sounds as Jimin's seizure continued. His little face was bright red and strained, his lips were now pale and blue due to lack of oxygen.

"Answer me, Yoongi!" I shouted at the man next to me, needing to know my dongsaeng was going to be alright. He was only taking in tiny breaths and I knew it was doing damage to his brain, with every passing second. "Is he going to be okay?"

Yoongi just shook his head, not able to answer. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he wasn't able to catch his own breath.

I could feel the intense guilt squeezing at my heart as I rubbed Jimin's back, trying to help him breathe as much as I could. If he wasn't okay, it was all my fault. When someone is seizing, you should never restrain them. I knew I was hurting Chim the second he started hitting me.

"Just keep rubbing his back," Yoongi said as Jimin's head forced against his hand. The boy's cheeks were almost purple now and he wasn't taking in any air whatsoever. "We need to clear his airways as quickly as possible."

I rubbed my hand in circles, still, putting slight pressure on Jimin's back to try and coax him into coughing. I jumped, accidentally hitting Jimin a bit too hard when a loud banging sound came from outside. A loud cry left his lips as my hand smacked his back, making my guilt worse.

"Fuck!" The word left my lips before it had even processed in my mind, panic taking over. Yoongi shot me a look of fear, obviously scared about what was to come next, as the growling outside intensified.

"What do we do?" I asked, wondering if I should stay with him or go and clear the dead which were now starting to crowd around the barn.

"He can't breathe, Seokjin!" Yoongi shouted at me, snapping as if he had finally lost it. I wasn't shocked though.

We were closing in on the five minute cut off time. In any normal circumstance, we'd have called Jimin an ambulance by now. Any seizure that went over five minutes was extremely dangerous, called status epilepticus, and could cause serious injuries and brain damage. Jimin was in massive danger if this seizure didn't stop soon.

He was still convulsing, turning purple as he choked on his own spit. I could feel my heart shattering as I watched my dongsaeng writhe for air. He was literally dying right in front of my eyes, it was killing me! I couldn't handle it.

I had caused this! If I had just laid him down straight away, Yoongi could have helped him. I could have watched the trees and covered them and it would have all been over in two-three minutes... But I just had to keep running, didn't I? And now Jimin, my baby brother, was moments away from choking to death!

All the noise outside the barn had gotten even louder and I could hear familiar voices yelling out. I shot Yoongi a panicked look, wondering if he had any idea what we should do. He didn't, he most definitely didn't. Neither of us had any clue on what to do, all we knew was that we had to get Jimin breathing again.

The door slammed open, hitting the wall of the barn, with a loud crash. Hoseok wheeled Taehyung in, who was still sleeping somehow.

"We're clearing them!" Hobi said, sounding breathless. "Stay with these two."

And, just like that, he was gone, pulling the door shut behind him.

I looked to Yoongi again and noticed he had his eyes fully trained on Jimin. It was only then I noticed he had stopped convulsing, but he still wasn't breathing. The strangled choking sound was still filling my ears, causing hot tears to stream down my cheeks.

"Breathe for me, baby," Yoongi whispered to the boy. The seizure had ended, probably around eight minutes, and his blue lips were gasping for air like a fish out of water. He pulled the boy's head up, trying to clear his airways, while I patted his back lightly. "You need to breathe now, baby. Just try for me, come on."

Blood and saliva were dripping out of his mouth like a river, making me cringe. He looked like he was in so much pain, writhing around for air. It was just destroying me, watching him.

"Please, Jiminie," Yoongi kept on, softly sobbing as he stroked the boy's hair. "I need you, Jimin. I can't do this without you, I can't! Just breathe, baby, please!"

I could feel myself grow distant from the scene in front of me, almost like I was dissociating. Tears were flooding my cheeks as thoughts of the worst filled my mind.

"Come on, baby," Yoongi just kept begging, making my heart shatter more, wiping the spit away from the boy's lips with his sleeve. I had never heard Yoongi so emotionally broken, not like this. He was dying inside, seeing his boyfriend literally dying in front of him. "Just breathe for me, baby."

I kept rubbing his back, not giving up on him. Every so often, he let out a strangled whine, almost as if he was begging for help. My whole world was crashing down around me, seeing him struggling. I felt like I couldn't breathe!

The door slammed open once again and people came rushing in, quickly. Namjoon ran in, shoving the door closed behind him, and barricaded it as much as he could with what was around him.

"Namjoon!" I shouted the leader over. I was going to call for Hoseok but he had already gone to calm Tae down, who woke to the chaos happening in the barn. "Here, now!"

"Joon, he can't breathe!" Yoongi sobbed as Namjoon ran over.

"Move," He said, kneeling behind Jimin, acting quickly. "Keep his head up but get out of the way."

I moved back, standing so I wasn't in the way. Yoongi laid Jimin's head on his lap, tilting it slightly so his airways could open.

Namjoon acted accordingly, assessing the boy for no longer than a few seconds before knowing what to do.

"I'm really sorry, Minie," Namjoon sighed, causing me to frown in worry. He didn't waste any time, harshly hitting the small boy on the back, and making me flinch.

Jimin cried out, a mix of a violent retch and a scream of pain. I thought I was going to be sick, hearing him gasping for air to no avail. Namjoon hit his back again, making sure his lungs were working properly again. Jimin managed to cough everything up, causing a mess on Yoongi's jeans, and he started to force massive gulps of air into his lungs.

The noise was unbearable, you could hear just how raw his throat was. It wasn't long, though, until he fell silent. I let out a shaky breath, just watching Yoongi.

The man was sobbing quietly, whispering in the boy's ear. I couldn't take it anymore! I walked over to the back of the room, not knowing where to go.

I had caused Jimin to go through all that pain! I caused it, it was all my fault. If only we had waited, but no!

I sunk to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. Hot tears blinded me as the guilt started to suffocate me.

I almost killed my dongsaeng!

-

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE MENTIONS

I was leaning against the barn's damp, wooden walls, staring at the dead out the window. There were four maybe five creatures, just walking back and forth without a goal.

Namjoon and Jungkook were in the room, to my right, with three of the new girls. While, Hoseok and Yoongi had carefully carried Jimin into the room, on my left, so he had somewhere quiet to recover.

Taehyung was talking to the other new girl, Jennie. Well, she was doing most of the talking. I couldn't help but listen in, my blank mind not having anything else to focus on.

"I don't want to say that everything's gonna be okay," The girl said, her voice low but firm. "But I think your group, your friends... You are all really close. I think that you deserve to stay positive. It's obvious how much you all care for each other. You'd never let anything happen to each other."

I couldn't stop myself from scoffing at her words.

Sure, the six, they all cared for and protected each other. I just put them in danger, I didn't deserve their love and protection.

And, how could I stay positive, knowing that one of my baby brothers may never wake up because of me?

Even when I tried to protect them and keep them out of danger, I always did the opposite.

I was a hazard to this group. To my brothers.

Maybe they would have been safer if I left them. I'd be able to go by myself, go as long as possible before the inevitable happened. At least I wouldn't be able to put them in danger if I wasn't around.

"I think that means that..." Jennie continued behind me. "For you guys, at least, things will work out for you and you'll be okay."

There was no response from Taehyung, just silence. The whole room was silent, a morbidly still kind of silence. It was almost deafening, causing my head to spin.

I ran my hand down my face, feeling all my thoughts attack me. I couldn't really understand them, I just knew they hurt.

Last night, Namjoon could have died trying to help me. I still wasn't clear on what had happened after I went down, how the hell he kept things together, I don't know.

And now, Jimin was laying, almost lifeless, on the floor while Yoongi sobbed, waiting for him to awaken. What if he didn't wake up? I would be a murderer... 

I would have killed my little brother. Seeing him, in so much pain and desperation - the whole scene played over and over again in my mind's eye. The tears streamed down his cheeks as his lungs begged for air. The way Yoongi let out violent, heart-wrenching, sobs. I had caused all of that, just by not thinking.

I should have left them earlier. Yes, they'd be hurt, maybe even upset, if I left but they'd get over it. It's not like it would be much of a loss, after all. I didn't really have that much to offer. After how much risk I had put them at, anyway, how could I even be thinking about just leaving? 

How could I even live with myself after what I had done?

A dead one walked past the window, not bothering to look up. It just stumbled over its own feet as it aimlessly walked around. I followed it with my eyes, for a moment, wondering if anything at all was going through its mind. 

Did they still think? 

Could they still feel? 

Were they just really sick humans? 

What caused them to be that way? 

Were they in pain?

"Hyung?" Namjoon's voice came from behind me. It sounded distant but I knew he was standing next to me.

"Not right now, Joon," I said, keeping my gaze on the dead. I could hear the concern in his voice, the way I could feel his worried gaze stabbing into my back. Unnecessary fear for me when he should have been focusing on the others.

"I think now is important, hyung," He said, it was clear he was keeping his voice low so only I heard him. I just shook my head, refusing to engage in this conversation. I couldn't talk to him, I wouldn't have been able to hide my shame. "We need to talk, hyung."

"We do not need to talk," I said in a hollow voice, looking at him. Intense worry was painted across his face but there was something, deep within his eyes. Was it... Anger? It should've been. If he was angry at me, that would have been fine but I couldn't take his pity.

"We do and we're going to," He said, his tone very firm, almost demanding. He stepped closer to me and I instantly felt like walking away. He was doing his leader act, trying to make me bow down to him, but it wasn't going to wash. I would not have him standing there, talking to me like I was one of the maknaes.

"You may get away with bossing around the others, Kim Namjoon," I said, my voice sounding as empty as my heart. "But don't you dare act like you are in any position to tell me what to do. Do not patronise me."

If only I could get my voice to cooperate with me, sound as frustrated as I was, he might have walked away. But I just couldn't summon the emotions, not through the numbness spreading through me.

"I would never think about it, hyung," He said in a calm voice.

He shouldn't have been calm. He shouldn't be okay with everything, just letting things slide as if they had never happened. He should have been furious with me. He should have thrown me out the door, to the dead, without a second thought.

"I just need to make sure you are safe." He said, sounding serious.

"Safe?" I asked, arching my eyebrow at him, with a scoff. Was he really trying to have that conversation with me? "Safe from what? Them, out there?"

"No, hyung," He shook his head at me, guessing I was changing the subject. "From yourself."

"This conversation is over," I said, sharply, turning back to the window. I was not willing to stand there while he lectured me, or whatever he was going to do. If he had something specific to say, I'd rather he'd just get it out of the way, instead, he was just wasting my time.

I felt myself growing angrier and angrier, the longer Namjoon stared at me. It was like he was trying to read my thoughts. If he could, my God, he'd be scared. My fist clenched, involuntarily, as the younger stepped even closer to me.

"I am not leaving this room," Namjoon said in a low, serious tone, which pissed me off to the max. Why couldn't he just back off? "Until I know you aren't going to do anything stupid."

I couldn't even try to explain what happened next. I most certainly couldn't begin to justify it, either. As I turned to my younger brother, my vision went red. It was all within a split second and I can't recall any of it. Only when I held my throbbing hand, in front of my face, had I realised what I had done.

My lungs refused to cooperate with me as I stared down at Namjoon, on the floor, clutching the side of his face. He was looking up at me, anger in his eyes which was disguised by tears.

I tried to summon up an apology, in my mind, not believing what I had just done. The words wouldn't come to me though. What the hell was wrong with me? What was going on inside my head? I had truly messed up this time.

I felt someone grab and pull me back as Hoseok knelt by Namjoon. I was about to talk but was pulled into the back room by Yoongi.

"What the hell do you think you are up to?" Yoongi shouted, practically throwing me into the room. His voice was strained as if he was trying not to shout. He was furious though, as he should have been. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Stay out of it!" I snapped without thinking. My mind was still all over the place to stay calm. My thoughts were now chaotic, deafening, stripping away my common sense.

"Why?" Yoongi shot back at me, stepping closer so we were face to face. His eyes were glinting as he stared me down. "You gonna hit me as well? Huh?"

I locked my eyes with him, seeing the rage in his expression. His tone was so sharp, that it made me flinch. My fist flexed but I didn't do anything. I was waiting for him too. I was expecting him to knock me out, after everything I had done. I deserved it. He glanced down and caught my clenched fists, scoffing loudly. He stepped even closer, to a point where I could feel his breath on me.

"Do it." He spat, sizing me up. I felt really quite scared of him, even if I was taller.

"Go on!" He finally shouted, causing me to back down. I flinched back, making him chuckle unenthusiastically.

"I'm sorry." I finally whispered, my voice pathetic. I cowered away as Yoongi backed off. He turned his back to me but then, after a second, came back.

"You do not get to do this!" He shouted at me, tears springing in his eyes though he didn't let them fall. "You do not get to back away. You do not get to give up."

It took a moment for his words to register in my mind, but I couldn't hold back my tears once they did. I had said these words to Yoongi, himself when he was at his lowest point. When we had to stop him from taking his own life. I had told him this.

"Do you remember that conversation?" He asked me, his voice now softer but still firm. Not once did his tone falter, even though he seemed to be experiencing every negative human emotion. "Do you remember those words?"

Hearing these words being shot back at me, my own words, made my guilt even worse. So many thoughts and feelings made me dizzy. Pain, exhaustion, fear, stress... Guilt, so much guilt.

"I do," I nodded, sheepishly, too ashamed to look up at the younger.

"Then I suggest you do the wise thing and take them into serious consideration," His tone was grave as if he was warning me about something. I could feel his gaze burning into me but I still couldn't bring myself to look up. "For your own sake."

Finally, he backed off, leaving me frozen on the spot. I couldn't bring my feet to move. My eyes were avoiding the sleeping boy in the corner. If I looked at Jimin I would just break completely, so I just kept my eyes on the floor while Yoongi sat down.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like forever. Minutes ticked by as I slowly started to clear my head. I finally forced my feet to move, heading to the main room.

"Where are you going?" Yoongi asked me before I could reach the doorway.

I turned back to see him looking up at me, his eyes glossy as he raked his fingers through Jimin's hair. He raised his eyebrow at me, expecting an answer.

"To apologise to Namjoon," I said, my voice no louder than it was before. Yoongi just shook his head and sighed, looking back at his boyfriend.

"Sit down," He said. "He's not gonna want to see you yet."

I frowned at him for a moment, just wanting to apologise to the leader, but decided he was right and sat next to him. It was then that I let my eyes fall on Jimin, for the first time.

His breathing was quiet and even, now, and his lips had returned to their natural pink colour. He seemed to be relaxed, sleeping peacefully, but laid uncomfortably on the cold wooden floor. His face was snow white and his hair was slightly damp from sweat.

"I'm really sorry," I whispered, not able to raise my voice anymore. My mind had just calmed down but the guilt was starting to stir up again. "I never meant to hurt him."

"It wasn't your fault," Yoongi shrugged, still playing with the boy's hair. "It wasn't anyone's fault, and anyway... Considering the circumstances, I think you saved his life."

I was about to shake my head, disagreeing completely, but couldn't stand Yoongi arguing with me again. Instead, I decided to be brave and ask him a more personal question.

"Yoongi, do you still hate us for stopping you that day?" I asked carefully, suddenly weary of his answer. He looked up at me with a deep frown but soon shrugged.

"Yes," He said, so casually it made my heart sink. Did he really still feel the way he did?

"But then I look at Jiminie," He continued, nodding to his boyfriend with the softest of smiles. "I wonder where he would be if I wasn't here. It makes me think."

"Think about what?" I asked, watching him closely to see how he was taking my curiosity. He took in a deep breath, shrugging again, before answering me.

"It makes me think that if I wasn't here, I would have missed out on being able to love him. I would never be able to hug him every night. I wouldn't be able to hear his sweet giggle or see his little eye smile. I wouldn't be able to just be with him," He said, his smile still a ghost on his lips. His eyes were trained on the sleeping boy, his fingers still running through his hair.

It warmed my heart, to hear just how much adoration was in Yoongi's voice as he spoke about Jimin. It was clear how much he loved him, he really would do anything for him.

"So, to give you a better answer," He continued, not seeming too phased by the topic of the conversation. It was almost as if he had made peace with all his dark thoughts and emotions like he had accepted them and knew how to cope with them. "I know every one of you would have been hurt if I went through with it. Jimin reminded me of that fact. Jungkook would have blamed himself and God knows where that would have led him... Putting that burden on you guys wouldn't have been fair at all. So, even though I don't necessarily forgive you for stopping me, I am grateful that you did."

It took a moment for me to take in his words.

It hurt to hear Yoongi clearly admit that, given another chance to go back, he would have probably still acted the way he did, but the more I thought about it...

That was okay. He was allowed to feel that way, anyone is. It was okay because he was now in a more stable place where he wouldn't act the way he felt. He had people he was living for and that was enough for me to believe he was in a better place.

I could accept Yoongi's outlook on things and, as I thought about it, I just knew I could accept my own feelings. Even though I would never forgive myself for what I had done, I knew I'd be able to make up for it. I didn't have to hate myself, I just had to make things right. And that is what I was going to do.