Subconsciously, unconsciously, I don't want it to come into consciousness, it seemed I developed an obsession for her breasts. They're a work of art. Why it seems I was spellbound the day I saw them is still a mystery. I fight it constatly, but since my male hormones have been hurt, my ego gets the better off of me.

For a week I tried to keep my distance, but still watched over her through the shadows. I contemplated if I should stay away for good, but no matter how hard I try, the attraction was undeniable but not visible if you do not pay much attention.

As I recollect about my previous self, I have never chased after a girl, NEVER! They come to me, on rare occasions that I find someone interesting, they never give me a hard time, always ready to give themselves, and spread their legs for me. They were easily beguiled.

But this one girl surely tested my patience and my sanity, and I was losing it. I could not understand what I was feeling. I felt ridiculed, shamed, belittled.

Why has she not fallen for my charms? Why has she not followed me everywhere like the other girls? Why do I feel as if she was avoiding me?

Why do I feel inferior, why do I stutter, why can't I even say a simple "Hello" without shaming myself? No matter how hard I try or think about it, I become stupid under her stare. What sort of sorcery is this?

I expected her to come and be undoubtedly smitten and just be all over me after I "rescued" her, but surprisingly it was the other way around, I was the one wanting her attention. She remained silent and her gazes even more curious.

What's more painful was that Jimin made her smile, while I was dying just to get her attention. Where's the justice?

Today I was plucking up the courage to go on and have a proper conversation with her, but Jimin came out of nowhere and handed her a little old book. I moved closer to eavesdrop.

"Hi, Lee Mia? Do you remember me? Jimin?"

"Oh! Yes I recall... What do you want?"

"Well you dropped this, and I was supposed to return it to you but you were gone."

"Oh my, I thought it's gone forever. Thank you so much," she said shyly as she gave him a smile.

My heart ripped into pieces. She looked like an angel, she truly was heaven sent. Her eyes sparkled as she muttered a thousand grateful words towards Jimin.

I did not stay long to hear more for fear of hurting myself even more as they continued to talk. Do not misunderstand though. I was not mad at Jimin. More like I was mad at myself for not trying harder. Now here I am, aching for her, hoping I was the one to witness her first smile, and regretting each moment that I chickened out.

~~~~^~~~~

The pursuit is getting more and more exciting. I was frustrated to the point where I needed to take desperate measures. It's time to catch my elusive prey. I needed her to slake my conceited self's lust for superiority.

As soon as I spotted Mia walking down the hallway, I rushed towards her and dragged her to an empty room close by and locked the door. I kept telling myself I only wanted to talk, but my body moved otherwise, disobeying the mind's protests.

With my hand over her mouth, I pushed her against the wall, gripping her wrists tightly at the sides of her head, and attacked her neck with harsh kisses and suckles. My hard knee pried between her thighs to keep her still and prevent her from breaking free. She was struggling, but her attempts were too weak, and it excited me even more.

With one hand I then grabbed both her hands and pinned them above her head as my free hand fumbled to undo the buttons of her blouse. I was growing too impatient so I ripped it open, my eyes feasting over her exposed chests.

But I stopped. Before I could even crash her lips with mine, I saw in her eyes the reflection of a hideous monster, one that I didn't know existed, a monster that lived inside me, one that I must kill.

"Please let me go... I'm begging you... Don't do it again please..." she whispered in between sobs, almost inaudible.

Again.

As I released her, she literally crawled to the other side of the room, crouching in the corner, her knees close to her chest as her trembling hands clutched tightly the remainder of her destroyed clothing. Her eyes were wide with fright, her tears were crashing around her. The vision before me was so pitiful, I wanted to cry.

What have I done.

"Oh God, I'm... Forgive me..."

As I moved towards her, she pressed herself even more against the wall, so frightened and helpless.

Instinctively, I removed my uniform blazer and draped it over her. I knelt before her and sandwiched her knees between mine, pulled her closer, and stroke her hair to try to comfort her.

"Mia, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

She accepted my touch, slowly relaxing in my hold. Her body was still shaking violently as I tried to pull her up on her feet.

"I want to go home," Mia whispered, almost inaudible.

"Let me drive you..."

I felt her nod against my shoulder.

I have lost count how many times I broke hearts, including my own.

This beautiful creature right here in my arms, she doesn't deserve this. She was broken from the beginning, but I shattered her even more to a point where she gave up already.

I hate myself.