October 31, 2019

Taehyung's POV

I knew I was a coward nobody else needed to tell me. There were many reasons that labeled me a coward, but the main one was shutting Nari out after all she did to help me. That horrible day I only wished to see her and then there she was it only took for Jimin to talk to her and she went out of her way to be there for me and give me all the strength I needed. All I could think of was how grateful and in love I was. Yes, in love. That word was the one who sent me spiraling into a dark hole leading me to realize how dependent I was on this girl. 

I was scared of being so dependent on her because if she ever decided to leave me, I'd be ruined. Another part of me was scared of being in love and being betrayed yet again it was a part of myself that I still struggled with and a part Nari always helped me conquer. She worked so hard and was so patient with me till she eventually won my trust. She helped me be my old self again and not doubt others so much.Unsurprisingly, it wasn't so hard for her because my heart opened for her so easily, it only took one small push and the doors opened.

To make matters worse Manager Sejin came to me with a block of papers for Nari to sign. Upon closer inspection, it was an NDA contract. He explained how there was no problem with me dating that it was completely fine and normal, but that in order to do that she had to sign the contract for my and the band's safety. It made me think about what I would be subjecting Nari to since I was an idol. I traveled nearly every week and right now it was slightly easier cause I had been on vacation and she was in Seoul, but what about when Tour started, and she went back home, would she be able to endure that, would I? I was also scared that the contract would make her realize what position we were in and would drive her away from me.

This past week I distanced myself from her to figure out what I was feeling and what I wanted out of this relationship once and for all no more running from my feelings. Funny how in turn I was running away from the source of that love. I found myself reaching for my phone so many times just to stop myself from sending her a message, it was strange not talking to her for so long. I saw the messages she sent me, and it took a lot not to respond, but I needed to get a grip on the situation at hand, yet she was the answer all along. She was the one who always helped me work through what I was feeling she was my own form of therapy always keeping her mind open and never judging. Why was I insisting to get through this myself instead of going to her from the beginning? Simple, because admitting my feelings meant admitting everything I felt for her and I was afraid of her response.

This whole situation was stupid because I knew her well enough to know that she felt the same way I did for her. She was the genius in the relationship always working through what we felt it was only logical I was the stupid one to make a mess out of everything. In fact, I was stupid enough to not think properly of the consequences of my actions. I never stopped to think what she might be feeling in my absence. She is only human after all and as understanding as she is, she has her insecurities as well.

BTS was currently in the studio finishing up recording a song for the new album. It was late the clock was striking 9:30 pm, but it didn't matter, the day was filled with meetings and we had to get this done by today so Namjoon and Yoongi could meet up with the producers tomorrow. Jungkook was left alone at the booth to finish up the song while Jin, Jimin, and I waited for him to go home.

"Oh, look! Nari went out for Halloween," Jimin spoke loudly to catch my attention.

He was completely against my decision to distance myself and made sure to remind me of it every second he got.

"Let me see," Jin said, sitting beside him to look at the phone. They both exchanged glances at what they saw on the screen, "Aren't you going to look Taehyung?"

I glared at them from across the room shaking my head no.

"Do you know who that guy is Jimin?" Seokjin wondered zooming the picture.

"What guy?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"I don't know what it seems like they are in her room," Jimin answered squinting at the picture.

They were probably messing with me so I would finally get the guts to talk to her, but that didn't stop me from flying to the other side of the room and snatching the phone from their hands. The first picture was of her in a mask and in all black clothing she looked sexy as hell, the next picture was her with a guy, upon closer inspection my shoulders relaxed seeing it was Eun-Jae.

"That's just her roommate," I muttered, throwing the phone in Jimin's lap.

"I know," Jimin stated.

"Then why lie?"

"Because if you don't get a move on that picture can become a reality, maybe not with Eun-Jae but with another guy," he sternly said, "You need to get a move on and talk to her."

Jimin's words held the truth. My heart nearly stopped at the thought of her with a guy that wasn't me. It wasn't jealousy I felt, but heartbreak that I'd lost Nari. 

"Alright, give me a day or two more to come up with something to do," I nodded at him. I figured that she'd be mad at me so I would have to plan something to make it up to her. Although just giving her food would probably be enough.

"Hurry," he singsong'ed as he kept scrolling away on his phone.

As soon as Jungkook finished recording we got our bags and hurried to the van waiting for us. It dropped us off at the dorms where we spent the rest of the night eating candy to celebrate Halloween. I fell asleep at midnight my body giving up on me as I hadn't been sleeping properly for the past week, Namjoon was already on the other bed snoring softly.

A shake to my shoulder and Namjoon's voice woke me up. Glancing at the clock I saw it was 2:30 a.m. Why was he waking me up at this hour? Was everyone okay?

"Taehyung get your phone, it's ringing," he grumbled half asleep.

Unplugging my phone, I checked the caller ID to see it was Nari. I debated on answering, but I found no other choice it was 2 a.m. Who knows if she is in trouble besides, she had been at a party and I had made her promise me she would call me if she ever got drunk again. 

"Nari," I rasped out picking up before the call ended, "Nari?" I called out again at the lack of answer.

"Tae-Taehyung," she stuttered with a gasp.

"Nari-ah, what's wrong?" I asked her, sitting up on the bed.

"You picked up," she gasped out surprised breaking my heart in the process. What have I done?

"Nari, are you okay?" I questioned her again afraid she was in trouble.
"Um- not really," she answered, "My stomach really hurts, and I don't know how to get to the dorms," she sniffled.

"I'll pick you up, where are you?" I told her, quickly getting up from the bed and grabbing a pair of sweatpants.

"Hongdae, where exactly I'm not sure," she responded doubtfully.

"Send me your location I'll be there very soon," I assured her.

"Okay, thank you," she said softly.

"Be careful," I told her before cutting the line.

As I hung up, I slid on some shoes and ran out the door. She was alone in pain and she didn't know where she was, I had to get to her quickly. Getting into the car I shifted the gears into the drive, the drive to Hongdae from the dorms was about 40 minutes. Thanks to the minimal traffic and that I broke some transit laws I got there in 20 minutes. I looked at the screen on my car that had the pin on Nari's location, and it was right around the corner. I kept a look out and there she was sitting on a bench, her elbows resting on her knees while her head rested in her hands.

I parked in front of her making her look up at me she had tear stains down her face and a grimace. Never seeing her in such a state before it took me by surprise. Getting out of the car I jogged up to her, crouching in front of her to be at the same level.

"Hey, I'm here," I softly said, taking her hand. Being so close to her gave me a rush. I hadn't realized how much I missed her.

"Taehyung," she gave me a tight-lipped smile.

"Come on, let's get you home."

She tried standing up, but she couldn't stand up straight I held her by the waist, guiding her to the car and opening the door for her. Once she was settled, I went around to the driver's seat beginning the drive.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"No! I will be fine, I probably ate something bad," she insisted giving me a pleading look.

"Okay, Okay."

Nothing was else was said for the rest of the drive it was weird it wasn't like other times where the silence was welcome instead there was tension and awkwardness. I hated it. At a red light I glanced at Nari that was cuddled up on the seat holding her stomach to try and ease the pain small tears trickled down her face and sniffles were heard.

"Nari, it's going to be okay, you'll be okay," I softly spoke, rubbing my hand on her back.

She nodded, keeping her head down. I decided to take her to my apartment it would be easier that way and I could stay with her, there was no way I was leaving her alone in this condition. In my room, I sat her down on my bed, I kneeled on the floor undoing the zipper of her boots and putting them to the side. She was extremely quiet, and I bet it was partly my fault. I drew the covers back so she could lay down covering her back up once she was comfortable.

"Do you want water or anything?" I asked her before leaving the room.

She shook her head softly, eyes on the window looking at the night sky.

"Wait," she exclaimed as I turned off the light.

I made my way back to her sitting on the floor beside the bed facing her. Her head was on the pillow directed towards the window, but her eyes were looking down at me.

"Why did you stop?" she sadly questioned.

"I was scared," I stated truthfully.

"Why?"

"Because I am a stupid idiot," I muttered, grabbing her hand that was resting by the pillow, "Go to sleep, we'll talk when you feel better, I promise,"

"Stay?" she asked, gripping my hand tighter.

I nodded, keeping hold of her hand. She closed her eyes and her breathing evened out falling asleep despite the pain. I stayed on the floor next to her holding onto her. Why did I think it was a good idea to have distance? Her sleeping presence alone was enough for me to confirm my feelings and what I wanted to do. I couldn't be without her so I would try my hardest to keep her happy and here with me.

A few hours later a vice like grip on my hand and a pained scream woke me up.

A/N:

What's wrong with my baby Nari?!

Now you know what Taehyung feels, how do you feel about it?

As always gotta love Jimin.

As always, please, remember to vote, comment, and share with a friend.

-Nikki Marie 💜