August 3, 2019

Today is the day my life would change, again. I would be taking a plane to Seoul for the second time this year, but instead of staying a few weeks I would be staying for about four months, alone. I was being overly dramatic because I will not only have my cousin, but my extended family too, which means I won't be alone, still, it's not as if I'm going to see them every day.

I would be moving into a dorm with a new roommate, take classes with unknown people, and adapt into a new lifestyle. It made my nerves restless making them influence my mind with countless what if's. What if something bad happened? What if I failed my classes? What if I got lost? What if I was kidnapped? What if I didn't make any friends? What if I made a fool of myself in front of my new classmates?

Overall, I was not the best with change it was necessary, though, because in the future when I look back, I want to be proud of myself for getting myself out there and having fun and diverse college experiences. I want to become more independent, not only from my family but from my friends too. A few years from now we will graduate and go on different paths we won't see each other almost every day as we do now, we will become different people with different lives. We will be there for each other that is for sure, but we won't be the same 21-year old's who fangirl about a boy band. I take that back we might not be 21 but we sure as hell will be fangirling.

My suitcase had been packed for the past two days and I was left picking up a few stray things left behind and stuffing them into the front pocket of the overfilled bag. Everyone was waiting downstairs to take me to the airport soon and to say their farewells. My room looked unusually clean and tidy with some of its staple pieces missing like the hoodie that always hung from my desk chair, or the tangle of chargers that hung from the corner of the bed, or the unbelievable number of cups and water bottles I left scattered around. Just as I zipped up my bag a knock was heard on the door.

"Hey," Olivia softly greeted as she entered the room.

"Hi," I responded, sitting on the bed.

Olivia seemed down, her usual loud and confident persona missing. There were only a handful of times I'd seen her like that, yet I had never been one of them.

"You got everything?" she asked, sitting by my side.
"Yes, everything's packed."

"Did you know we have never spent so much time apart?" She pointed out sadly, "At least not since we met on Pre-K."

"It's shocking, but I'd believe it," I laughed softly.

"I'm going to miss you bitch," she suddenly sobbed, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm going to miss you more," I told her, a few tears escaping my eyes, "It will only be a semester and I should be back for Christmas."

"You better be, or I'll drag you back myself," she sniffed pulling away.

"Promise?" I asked her.

"I promise."

"And that you will text me and call me and face time me?"

"Of course," Olivia laughed, wiping her tears.

"Then that's that, I guess. Time to go." I announced, "Will you hold my hand?"

It was something we did a lot when younger when one of us was uncomfortable or sad. It felt nice to bring it back if only for a moment.

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

And so, with all my bags in tow, we made our way downstairs where my parents, Youngjin, and Macy were waiting. Liv made sure to give herself a look on the mirror hiding, she had been crying since nobody else needed to know that. Although everyone could see it on her face, that she had most likely shed a few tears.

Every time I went to the airport the process of checking in your bags, getting your bags, and going through customs was awfully long, sadly, this time it had gone by in a breeze leaving me facing those closest to me and saying my goodbyes. This whole situation felt like when my mom took me to my first day of Kindergarten, it was the beginning of a chapter in my life much like today difference was back then I had Olivia to take my other hand, now, I wouldn't have that security and familiarity.

I began with my parents hugging them and telling them I loved them, they did the same and to call them once I had settled, no matter what the time was. Then I moved onto my brother.

"Youngjin," I mumbled, standing in front of him.

"Nari, I hate to admit this, but I'll miss you sis," he chuckled, nudging my arm.

"I'll miss you too you brat," I responded with a laugh.

I will miss him and his random outbursts, his advice too. I still didn't understand how he was so good at them.

"I have something for you," I stated, rummaging through my bag, pulling out my car keys with the familiar purple glitter N initial.

"You're giving me your car?" he exclaimed, snatching my keys from my grasp.

"No! I'm letting you borrow it," I quickly explained, "I realized I needed someone to take care of it while I'm gone, so, please don't crash it."

"You got it, it will be my baby," Youngjin promised, leaning in for a hug.

"Oh, and Jin," I whispered in his ear, "Just go for it don't wait too long. I won't mind."

Youngjin and Macy had been secretly going out for the past few weeks, they'd think I wouldn't notice, but they couldn't be more obvious. It was a mystery if all the sneaking around was because of me so I thought it would be best to give him the okay. Just in case that was what was holding him back.

With a stutter and a blushing face my brother nodded.

"Bye Nari," Macy trembled, hugging me.

"Bye Mace."

"You'll have fun you'll see, and time will go by in a blur we'll be waiting for your return," she promised, squeezing my hands.

"God, I hope so," I groaned.

"Remember this you will never be alone, you have us even if we're miles away, you have your family in Seoul, and you have Taehyung too," Macy reminded me, her voice lowering at the last name.

"It's as if you read my mind," I gasped.

"Because I did," She laughed.

Moving on to the last person and maybe the hardest of all I faced Olivia.

"Come here," I opened my arms, "We can do this."

She hugged me tightly before saying, "If you say so."

"I'll even bring you a souvenir."

"It better be good," she mumbled, "Take care of yourself and don't take candy or opened drinks from strangers."

"Okay, Mom," I rolled my eyes, breaking away from her hug.

Now done with the farewells, I began walking away to my terminal not long after receiving a text. Stopping for a second I read it,

Miss you already

-Liv

I didn't turn around knowing I'd burst out in tears so instead I answered,

Girl give me a minute

Miss you too though

-Nari

It was strange to be in an airport alone, I sat there looking around me seeing the businessmen, the couples, the families until my section got called. I was lucky enough were there nobody sat beside me, feeling bored I sent Taehyung a quick text.

On an airplane AGAIN

Picture Attached

-Nari 🦖

Welcome to my world

-Tae 🐯

I hate it

-Nari 🦖

It'll be okay

Picture Attached

-Tae 🐯

The other day Taehyung and I spoke and noticing something was wrong, he made me spill all my worries. It was great, he took the time and listened to me before saying, "You are scared, but once you're done with this chapter you will look back and feel proud of yourself that you did it, got through it and grew from it. Instead of looking at it with dread and uncertainty, it's best to see it as excitement because you will be able to do so much cool stuff and meet new people. I believe in you Nari." It was exceptionally reassuring, remembering his words I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and channeled that positive mentality. I hope it works.

A/N:

Did I just skip a month? Heck yeah, I did!

September is coming, know what that means? 😈

Poor Olivia she was having a rough time.

Nari too but hey she gets to see Tae soon!

Kinda of a short chapter. Hopefully maybe I'll post another chapter tomorrow.

As always, please, remember to vote, comment, and share with a friend.

-Nikki Marie 💜