It's been almost two weeks since Terrence died, and Zach and I are back at my apartment. I took some time off from work since I'm struggling a lot with anxiety lately. Zach was nothing but sweet to me since I got home from the hospital a few days ago, but I can see he's struggling too. I think secretly he still blames himself for everything what happened. We talk about that night a lot, but every time we do, I end up trying to convince him that it wasn't his fault. I don't see too much progress here so far.

Right now, we're cuddled up in front of the TV, watching a series, and snack some popcorn. I'm happy to be back home. Being at the hospital for more than a week quite stretched my nerves, but the doctors wanted to watch my abdominal bruises for a bit longer before discharging me again since they didn't heal the way the doctors wanted.

Zach's arms are protectively wrapped around my body and my head's resting on his firm shoulder. Even though Zach was with me at the hospital almost throughout the whole week to keep me company, I missed sleeping in my own bed and spending time in my own four walls.

I tilt my head and secretly study his face.

His nose-ring lightly glistens in the mild light of the TV and his dark wavy hair is tousled since we spent the whole day hanging around in our sweatpants doing literally nothing.

I'm starting to get used to have Zach around me in my small apartment. Looking into his warm and caring eyes every morning gives me a feeling of security and really helps me to forget about Terrence and the things he did to me.

A soft smile appears on my face as I think of how caringly Zach treated me since that one night. In the hospital he read his favorite book to me, 'The Hobbit' which I didn't know until then. I really enjoyed lying in his arms and listening to his deep and soothing voice. When I got discharged and returned home, he cooked for me, helped in the household as much as possible, and tried to distract me from all my bad thoughts. I never would have guessed he would be that caring and supportive.

Zach turns his head and looks into my eyes.

"What?" he asks, frowning.

"I just thought about how much you helped me recovering. Inside and out!" I answer and give him a soft smile.

"That's the least I can do. Moreover, I can't think of any better pastime than spending time with you," Zach retorts and removes a strand of loose hair from my face.

I smile at his fond gesture and peck his cheek. Before I can pull back again, Zach grab's my neck and holds my face close to his. His eyes wander down to my mouth, making me swallow. Since Zach has shot Terrence, nothing physical happened between us.

Zach notices my sudden tenseness and immediately draws back.

"Hey, don't worry. We don't have to do anything unless you're ready for it!" He places his hand on my cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb.

"No, It's fine. I'd love to kiss you," I whisper and take a deep breath.

Zach doesn't move. He just eyes me, smiling fondly, and I feel him tensing up as I haltingly press my lips on his. After a short hesitation, he leans in and kisses me back.

The soft contact of our lips makes me feel the flying sparks between us, and the breath I have been holding flows out of my lungs. My hands move up and gently play with his hair. A soft sigh leaves Zach's throat, making me smile against his warm and tender lips. It's a soft kiss without any pressure and urge. Just a sweet little confirmation that the strong bond we felt from the start is still there. Maybe even stronger than before.

Zach places his hand on my lower back and gently pulls me closer. The touch of his hands on my lower body lets me wince, and suddenly raw panic flows through my body as Terrence's evil face plops up in my mind's eye. It's like I can feel his harsh touches and all the pain he caused me again.

"No!" I cry out and hot tears start relentlessly rushing down my face.

Zach withdraws his hands and faces me with concern.

"Hey, it's okay. I won't hurt you, Livie!" He starts stroking my hair and talks me down with soothing words just like he always did at the hospital when I had a flashback.

"I know...I just...Terrence...," I blubber out, shaking all over, and close my eyes, trying to get rid of that mental image of my memory.

Zach gently tucks a strand of my messy hair behind my ear and then cups my face in both his hands.

"Shh... I know, baby. It's okay. We will get through this, I promise!" He places a soft kiss on my forehead, and I immediately calm down at his comforting words.

I lay down my head on his lap, curl up into a ball, and Zach keeps tenderly stroking my hair and back.

We sit in this position for a few minutes before Zach lowers his face to my head and gently rubs his nose into my hair.

"I won't let you get hurt again!" he promises in a whisper, so quiet, it's hardly audible.

I sit up and turn to face him. My swollen eyes are fixed on him and I smile weakly at him.

"You know it's not your fault, right?!" My words come out lowly yet carry the importance I need him to understand.

Zach eyes me with a pondering look. I see different sorts of emotions running through his face before he replies with a firm voice.

"Olivia, I get what you mean and why you think it's not my fault, but you need to see this from my perspective. He wouldn't have abducted you if you weren't with me. I can't just sit here and pretend I don't feel guilty for what happened, because that would be a fucking lie! I feel guilty because it was my stepbrother who made you suffer, who abused you!"

I just sit and listen to his words attentively. The longer I think of their meaning, the more I start to understand his point.

"Deep down I know I should leave you, let you go on with your safe life and forget about me..." Zach pauses and looks down on his lap, fiddling with his fingers, then he adds without looking up, "...but I can't!"

I thoughtfully eye the tall figure next to me. When he stepped into my life, he seemed so unreachable, cold, and numb. No three weeks have passed since then and now a vulnerable and insecure man has superseded the strong and intimidating figure I saw when I first met him. I would love to get a look into his mind, see what he's thinking.

"Why?" I ask him softly.

Zach looks up and shoots me a faint and tired smile.

"I have to make sure you're safe. I have to make up for the things my brother did to you..."

I frown. I haven't expected those words and have to admit they hurt me.

Is he just staying with me because he feels guilty?

"Zach..." My voice is low and sad as I reply. "I don't need compassion. If you just stay with me out of pity, then I don't want you to."

A deep sigh leaves Zach's throat and a sad expression appears on his beautiful face.

"Liv... I'm only bringing chaos and trouble into your life and you deserve to have a steady relationship with a man who isn't that fucked up. I just don't have the heart to leave you alone with all your pain and anxiety. I truly believe I'm no good for you, but I don't stay with you out of pity, I really care about you!"

Zach words resound in my head and I think of the last three weeks. They have been an emotional rollercoaster and Terrence managed to damage parts of my inside, yet I can't deny the strong attraction and bond I feel towards Zach, and I'm not ready to let go of the arising feelings between us.

"Maybe your right... You brought turmoil into my life. You caused troubles and chaos in my head and my heart. Maybe we don't go well together, but I can't help but feel good when you're near me. Your presence gives me a feeling of security and comforts me. I'm not ready to give that up. Not before I got to know you better." My voice is firm and determined. I'm surprised at the resoluteness I suddenly feel and Zach seems to be as well since he eyes me with a puzzled face and shakes his head.

"I caused you so much pain, yet you keep insisting on how good I make you feel... I just don't understand what you would want from me. I'm not able to bring happiness into your life, don't you see that?" Zach's eyes are fixed on me and I can't find anything else than disbelief and despair in his face.

"What do you want from me, Olivia?"

His pressing words take me by surprise and let me mull over the right answer.

"I don't know but I can tell you what I don't want, Zach. I don't want you to spend all your time with me at the hospital, reading for me, cheering me up, holding me, if you're just doing it because you feel guilty. I don't want you to cook for me, handle my household and protect me, but above all I don't want you to stroke my cheek, hold my hand, tell me how special I am, kiss me, if you don't mean what you told me the day Terrence showed up at my place. I don't want to be a temporary comforter for you so you can get rid of your guilt feelings." Tears well up in my already swollen eyes as I mention the day, we told each other about our feelings and I don't even attempt to hold them back. I'm too exhausted from all the confusing feelings in my chest to prevent the tears from falling.

Zach's face falls hearing my words. For a moment he seems unsure how to react, he just watches the tears streaming down my cheeks, and frowns. Then he cups my face in his masculine hands and rests his forehead against mine. He uses his thumb to wipe away my tears and sternly looks into my eyes.

"I meant what I said and my feelings towards you grow each day I'm with you. I just can't stand the thought of hurting you, of causing you pain and sadness," he whispers and a faint smile flushes over his face.

I take a deep breath and swallow away the lump in my throat before I answer weakly, "You're not hurting me. In fact, you make my heart skip a beat every time you touch me, every time you talk to me, when you smile at me or even when you simply just enter the room. I'm nervous when I'm near you..." I pause and close my eyes for a brief moment before adding in a whisper, "...just like right now."

Zach's breath brushes my mouth, and his eyes pierce me for a second before a soft smile appears on his face. His lips find mine and I breathe in his soothing scent.

We share a long and intimate kiss before I reluctantly pull away and look at Zach.

"I really want to get to know you, Zach," I utter lowly.

Zach nods and exhales deeply.

"Okay." He shoots me a tender look and pecks my lips once more before drawing back.

We shyly smile at each other with rosy cheeks, both happy about our agreement, and I rest my head on his chest, trying to clear my mind. Zach managed to bring me from raw panic to pure emotion within seconds. I close my eyes and enjoy having him near me while Zach gently plays with my hair.

How could I lose my heart that fast?

***

When I open my eyes again, I'm lying in my bed. I have to blink a few times to realize where I am since I'm pretty sure I fell asleep on the sofa. My gaze falls on the empty space beside me and I sit up and glance to the window. It's still pitch-black outside.

I drowsily stand up and rub my eyes before I head over to the living room. The cold floor under my feet makes me shiver. As much as I love my cozy little apartment, sometimes I wish I lived in a modern, well heated house. Sure, it gives a certain vintage flair, but the heating breaks down about once a month every winter, and I already had a few pipe breaks in my bathroom and kitchen since I moved in. I let out a deep sigh.

The door to the living room is ajar, and I get a glimpse of Zach standing by the open window, smoking a cigarette.

Wait, he's smoking?

I push the door open and walk over to him. He doesn't turn over, although I'm sure he noticed me.

"Hey...," I utter softly, "...you smoke?"

"Just to work off stress," he mutters in his deep voice, still not facing me.

I frown at his reserved tone and make a step to his other side so I can see his face. His eyes are red and bloodshot.

Did he cry?

Zach tilts his head to look at me. His face softens the moment our eyes meet, and he exhales deeply while snipping his half-smoked cigarette out of the window.

"What's wrong?" I ask him and rub my upper arms since I'm only wearing a T-shirt and I'm freezing in the cold breeze of the night.

"I was just thinking. This whole situation fucks with my head..." He runs his hands through his dark hair.

I sympathetically smile at Zach. "Your stepbrother is dead! Even though you didn't get along with him, he was sort of family to you. I totally get, why you're struggling right now!"

Zach shoots me a faint smile as he closes the window, and then pulls me into a tight hug and tenderly kisses my forehead. I bury my nose in his sweater, breathing in his pleasant scent mixed with cold smoke, and wrap my arms around his body.

"Why aren't you in bed?" I mumble into his chest and my fingers sneak under his hoodie to his bare and warm back.

"I couldn't sleep. Seriously, this situation is killing me! Seeing the panic in your eyes today made me realize how horrible your memories must be," Zach grumbles, his head resting on my hair.

I lift my head to look into his eyes. He watches me as I place my hands on his chest.

"Zach, I know you feel guilty and you think you should've saved me from Terrence, and, yes, the past two weeks have been tough, but you helped me enormously to get through it," I say sincerely.

Zach eyes me with a puzzled face and then whispers, "I don't know what I did to deserve you!" He moves his face closer and rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. I smile and nudge his nose with mine.

"Come on, let's go back to bed!" I grab his hand and pull him towards the bedroom.

We cuddle up in bed again and fall asleep almost immediately.

***

The next day, I'm just about to cook lunch as the doorbell makes me startle. Zach, who just returned from the shower, gives me a questioning look.

"Are you expecting someone?"

I shake my head.

"Could you please check who it is?" I ask.

Zach nods and walks over to the hallway.

I hear the keys getting turned and then hushed voices speaking.

"Who is it, Zachary?" I shout.

"It's Abigail!"

I rush to my apartment door where Abbey is standing in the door frame, nervously eying Zach. I smirk in amusement at her face. I can't blame her. Zach is standing there, his hair still dripping wet from the shower, wearing nothing but a towel tied around his hips dangerously low.

"Abbey, what are you doing here?" I ask her, surprised by her sudden appearance.

"Oh hey, Livie!" she looks at me with raised eyebrows and then smiles warmly, "You didn't answer my calls, so I thought I'll just check on you real quick!"

Zach gives me a soft smile.

"I'll leave the two of you alone."

He plants a gentle kiss on my cheek and walks toward the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"Holy shit, Olivia! He's quite a catch...," Abbey whispers wide-eyed.

I chuckle, step aside and let her in.

Abbey turns to me after I closed the door, her face more serious now.

"Why didn't you answer my calls lately, honey?" she asks me with a sorrowful frown.

When I was still in the hospital, I asked Zach to call Abbey and fill her in on everything that happened. Abbey was shocked and visited me right away. At first, she blamed Zach for dragging me into this shitty situation, but then I told her everything without missing out any details, and I think eventually she understood why I decided to help him.

"Livie?" Abbey's voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, Abbey. I wasn't feeling very well the last days. I'm just worn out from all my nightmares... Sorry, I should've told you! I just didn't feel like talking to anyone," I tell her in a rueful voice.

"Except for Mr. Handsome... huh?" Abbey winks at me.

"Zach really helped me getting through this," I say with a shy smile on my lips.

"I'm glad to hear that." Abbey looks at me with a soft smile, then adds, "Livie, I need to talk to you about Jack."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Sure. Wanna have lunch with us? I was just about to cook some pasta," I ask Abbey, turning to head back for the living room.

"Sounds like a plan!" Abbey grins at me and follows me into the kitchen area.

I place a pot with water on the fire and Abbey grabs the knife and starts cutting the tomatoes in little cubes.

"Livie, Jack's really pissed. I think he might fire you, if you don't start working again soon," Abbey says without looking up.

I let out a deep sigh and shrug, "Yeah, maybe I should give it a try."

"Might be good for you anyway, love!" Abbey smiles at me encouragingly.

She's probably right. The sooner I start working again, the better.

"You know what, I'm going back to work on Monday. I guess it's the best to go on with my normal life as soon as possible," I state, suddenly tinged with resoluteness.

"That's my girl!" Abbey is obviously happy about my decision and grins broadly.

~

Twenty minutes later, lunch is almost ready, and I walk over to the bedroom to get Zach.

As I enter the room, I find him rolled up on the bed, still in his towel.

I smile as I notice he's sleeping and carefully sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, lunch is ready. I thought you might wanna join us." I tenderly stroke his arm.

His biceps tenses under my touch and Zach opens his eyes, smiling softly as he spots me.

He instantly pulls me close and wraps his strong arms around me, so that I'm lying on top of him. I giggle.

"Stop. We're eating with Abbey today. So, go and slip into some proper clothes. That towel may look freaking hot on you, but we don't want to scare Abbey off, right?" I whisper into Zach's ear, biting my bottom lip, knowing exactly what this does to him.

Zach's eyes darken slightly, and my glance wanders down to his luscious lips. He grabs my neck and pulls me down. A soft moan escapes the depth of my throat as he eagerly presses his lips against mine.

"Olivia?" Abbey's scream from the next room pulls us out of our little moment.

"Coming!" I shout back, quickly pecking Zach's lips, and jump up.

Zach leers at me before standing up as well.

"I guess we got carried away...," he states and scratches his head.

I wink at him with a radiant smile and leave the room so he can change into some proper clothes.

~

After lunch, Zach starts cleaning up.

"Ladies, the food was amazing. In return I'll do the dishes" He gives Abbey and me a toothy smile, grabs our empty plates and heads over to the kitchen unit.

I rest my chin in my hand and watch him with a dreamy smile.

Abbey's right, Zach's a good catch!

"I'm going back to work on Monday, by the way," I state directed to Zach.

His body visibly tenses at my words.

Zach puts the plates aside and comes over again. He leans on the table next to me and locks eyes with me.

"Are you sure, you're ready for this?" he asks me with a frown.

"I don't want to lose my job and I have to go back to work sooner or later anyway, so...," I reply, shrugging.

Zach sighs and intently eyes me for a brief moment.

"Okay, but I'll take you there and pick you up again afterwards!" Zach states with a serious face.

Oh, dominant Zach is back!

"You don't have to...," I start, but Zach cuts me off.

"That wasn't a question, Liv!"

He winks at me with a crooked smile on his face, and I give in, lifting my hands and chuckle.

I like this protective side of him. It's somehow cute and hot.

"Okay... Agreed!" I say, and Zach leans in and places a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Good girl!" he states and returns to the kitchen to continue loading the dishwasher.

I face Abbey and notice her amused smirk.

"What?" I ask, with a puzzled look.

Abigail shakes her head and giggles.

"It's nothing. You're just cute... Head over heels in love!" she whispers.

Zach slightly turns his head aside and shoots me a tender smile. Obviously, he heard Abbey's last sentence. I smile back happily.

Abbey is probably right!