It had been fucking brutal.

I mean, for the first hour of the rush, it was exactly how I expected things to turn out. Girls being fake as their eyelashes, sorority sisters already eyeing the fresh new meat in campus trying to figure out who they could crack first.

Pathetic.

But then, things drastically changed the moment we went from house to house.

There. Were. So. Many. Fucking. People.

It was so loud that I couldn't understand a single thing the girl assigned to me was talking about. The first day was such a blur, I had no idea how the hell I survived that shit.

The second day was meh, being the Philanthropy Day and all. We got to know more about the sororities and what charities they cared for the most. The conversations weren't any better, but the food was great.

Now two days later, it was Sisterhood Day where we got to go to the houses of the three sororities we selected yesterday that picked us back. Some were lucky and got all three, while some had just two or only one.

I got two – Zeta Theta and Kappa Pi Kappa.

Madeline caught my eye from across the room and she was trying not to laugh at my face. We were at the Zeta Theta house. They were supposed to showcase their traditions and all that shit. I raised a hand and gave her the finger. She laughed out loud, causing the other girls in the room to look at her questioningly.

Everything was pink and everyone was glowing, but it could just be the work of their highlighters. Some girls were overdoing it these days.

A girl who looked like Dakota Fanning came up to me and waved a hand in greeting.

"Hi, I'm –"

"Yeah, bye," I replied, turning my back on her.

I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I just wanted this day to be over. If I kept this up, I was pretty sure nobody would bid my ass tomorrow on Bid Day. Go me.

"That was rude," said by another girl who walked towards me. She was wearing their house letters on a pink shirt, which told me she was a sister in this sorority. Below that was her name tag, 'Arabella.'

"Cry me a river," I replied tonelessly.

"Waste of tears. Besides, she's already doing a good job of that," she added, nodding to the girl who talked to me. She was close to tears.

I kinda felt bad. She didn't really deserve my snarky reply. But I couldn't exactly take it back either. Damn, maybe I should tone the bitchiness down a notch.

Arabella studied me. "You don't like to be here."

"What gave that away?" I said in a bored tone.

"So why are you here?"

I wasn't about to tell her that Drew forced me to. That wasn't any of her business.

So I didn't respond.

"Look," she started, crossing her arms, "I understand that you've been highly recommended by one of our sisters in our Phi Sigma chapter." (Kate, my brother's girlfriend.) "You have promising academic scores and impressive connections. But we would never force you to join us if you don't want to."

My eyes narrowed at her, trying to see behind her play.

"We both know I don't belong here. This life," I paused and looked around the girls mingling, "is not for me." I returned my attention back to her. "You know that."

After a moment, Arabella nodded and scanned the room. Her eyes stopped, then she pointed to someone.

"What do you think of that girl?"

I looked to where she was pointing to. The girl was drop dead gorgeous. She was the epitome of a southern belle, blonde hair with perfect curls, fair skin, and flawless features.

"Perfect." I continued to watch the girl. "Too fucking perfect, actually."

"Do you think she'll fit in with us?" asked Arabella.

I snorted. "No, the girls in your house would be too caught up envying her to try and treat her like a sister."

I could already imagine it happening. Poor girl.

"That's right."

I raised an eyebrow at Arabella as I turned to look at her. I didn't expect her to admit that.

"But that won't stop us from recruiting her. She's an asset. A sorority is only as good as the women in it." She shrugged. "Sure, you might find life long friendships. But Zeta Theta isn't interested in that bullshit. We see the bigger picture. We'd rather build lifelong connections."

I started to understand where she was getting at.

"So it wouldn't matter to you even if you think I don't belong here, as long as you see that there's a potential in me?" I asked her, point blank.

"What, you think we function like robots?" She laughed. "We like to have fun, too. We throw the best formals in campus, after all."

In the last couple of days, I learned that Zeta Theta was in good standing with the fraternities because they had the coolest girls who were down with just about anything. They didn't have the sticks up their asses like the other sororities.

I tilted my head. "And yet, Kappa Pi Kappa continues to be number one, I heard."

Kappa Pi Kappa was the academic and athletic sorority. According to the other girls, they were strict when it came to keeping their GPAs up. They also didn't party as much as the other sororities because they were too busy studying or planning their next philanthropy event.

Yeah, sounds like a major snooze fest.

To be honest, I only picked them because of their ranking – and they have the best house on frat row.

Arabella took my comment in stride. "Okay, I admit we're not as perfect as the Kappas. We have flaws. We don't have the cutest house, and not all our girls are role models of society. We also might not have the best grades in campus. But in the end, none of that matters. It's not what you know. It's who you know."

She was really selling her pitch.

"Think about it."

The rho gamma (rush week guide) in our group spoke.

"Time's up, ladies! Let's go!"

With that, the girls started filing out.

"Last one," sighed Madeline from beside me, exasperated.

"Thank fuck," I mumbled.

We walked to the KPK house, and I gotta admit, it really was the prettiest fucking house. It always managed to take my breath away.

It was all rusted red bricks, white and dark brown window sills, and black-tiled roofs. The inside was equally pretty with its white walls, wooden floors and staircase, the fireplace in the living room, and homey furniture.

We were gathered in the very cozy living room, when a girl with long blonde straight hair walked up to the fireplace where we were gathered around.

"Hi, girls! I'm Ophelia, you can call me Ophie, the vice president of Kappa Pi Kappa. Before we get started, our president would like a word. Please give a round of applause for our Kappa Pi Kappa, Nu Xi chapter president, Naomi Hamilton."

There were claps all around.

A young woman with long golden brown hair stepped to the front. Her blue eyes were so striking that I could see it all the way from where I was standing. She had that graceful and friendly vibes coming off her. When she spoke, it was feminine and articulate.

"Here at Kappa Pi Kappa, we hold great value to wit and elegance, applying them in everything we do. Most of all, we value honesty and loyalty. We're tight." She shrugged. "There's no other word for it. In the next couple of months of being pledges, if you don't mesh well with any of our sisters – even just one, it unfortunately means that you won't be considered to join us in the future as official sisters at all."

She reached out a hand behind her, and Ophelia handed her a piece of paper.

"It's all about finding our match." Naomi winked. "Like a Tinder date!"

There were several giggles in the room, while Madeline leaned closer to me and whispered, "I heard they were exclusive, I didn't think they'd be this exclusive."

"They can shove their exclusive shit up their asses," I whispered back.

She covered her mouth to muffle her laugh.

"I'm going to mention a few phrases," stated Naomi. "If it applies to you, please proceed to our sister, Rae, to your right," she instructed, gesturing to a cute black girl who raised her hand cheerfully.

Naomi cleared her throat, gaining the room's full attention again.

"'I don't like anything relating to sports or any outdoor activities.'"

Several girls moved.

"'I don't like watching movies or tv series or reading or even listening to music.'"

One weirdo moved. I mean, what kind of girl didn't like entertainment?

"'I'd rather party with frat guys than stay in and study.'"

Almost half the girls moved. Of course.

"'I'd rather stay in than do charity, unless of course it involves socializing with the Greek community.'"

Two girls moved.

"'I don't like drinking alcohol and I will never try it.'"

More girls moved, until there was only about fifteen girls on our side. Naomi lowered the paper, folded it neatly, and addressed the group of girls on the right, which was taking up most of the room.

"Thank you for choosing Kappa Pi Kappa, but you do not meet the sorority's standards. Please follow Rae and she will escort you out. Good luck with other sororities!"

"Try Zeta Theta!" piped up Ophelia.

There were snickers from the sisters.

"Ophie," warned Naomi, shaking her head.

"Hey, I didn't say anything bad," defended Ophelia indignantly.

I watched Rae lead the girls out of the house. The rho gamma of the group didn't do anything. Was that even allowed?

"What's the point of all that?"

Naomi turned to the girl who asked. "Each phrase represents a trait. One; liking sports or spending time outdoors will be huge parts of the social activities we will take part in the future. Two; watching movies, series, or reading books and listening to music, are ways for the sisters to bond. Three; choosing to party than to study is a poor choice if she wants to be a KPK sister as we value our academics very much. Four; doing charity is a vital part in the Greek community. Five; drinking is a mandatory thing to do at any socializing event – unless you're pregnant or an alcoholic trying to be clean. Some of the brothers can be persuasive. One way or another, at some point, you'll end up drinking. We'd rather if you were prepared and would be able to handle it."

Interesting. They were direct and no bullshit.

"Is it true that you have the lowest number of sorority members in campus?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

I rolled my eyes at the dumbass question. After what we just witnessed, was she really wondering about that shit? When I looked back on Naomi, I met her eyes. It seemed like she caught my eye-roll because her lips turned up in a smile before facing the girl who asked.

"I'm sorry, but if you're asking that, I'm afraid you didn't really get the purpose of the exercise we just did, neither did my explanation." Naomi looked across the room. "Any other questions?"

"What makes you better than the other sororities?"

Another dumbass airhead. They said on the very first day that sororities weren't allowed to talk shit about other sororities. Weren't they listening?

"Unfortunately, we're not allowed to compare ourselves."

There were disappointed looks on everyone's faces. They were obviously expecting some juicy gossip.

"But I will say this..." Naomi paused. "We're number one for a reason. We've proven ourselves in the Greek community as well as the university, providing service in the society. The question really isn't how we're better or why we're the best. The question is, are you good enough?"

Madeline's eyes widened at me, and mouthed, "Wow."

"This feels more like the army than a sisterhood."

Are sororities nowadays like this? Everybody's competitive as hell. Where was the friendship? Where was the chill? And why the fuck did I give a shit?

"I think it's cool," admitted my friend, shrugging. "Brings more edge."

I made a face. "What?"

"Well, this is way better than a boring sorority where all you have to do is show a tiny hint of interest and you're in. This brings more challenge. Makes it worth it when we get in."

Huh, true. This also shows them how much we want it and what we're willing to do to get it.

"Hiya!" greeted Rae, stepping in front of us. "How do you like the house so far?"

I glanced around and realized everybody was talking to each other now.

"Fun fact, this was built in the nineteenth century! We made a few renovations here and there to keep it modernized, but it still had that Victorian feel to it."

"Oh, totes!"

I pressed my lips to keep myself from laughing at Madeline. I wasn't sure if she was trying to make fun of the way they talk or genuinely trying to fit in.

Rae gave out an awkward laugh. "Right, you don't have to dumb down your vocab. Don't trust the movies. Not all sorority sisters talk like that."

"Shocker," I muttered, looking around again. Could she tell how bored I was at this point?

When I turned my attention back to them, Rae was studying me. But when she caught me looking, she quickly shifted her eyes back to Madeline. What was that about?

"So, I hope you weren't thrown off by Naomi's speech. She has a thing for theatrics."

No kidding.

"You're a sophomore, right?" asked Madeline.

Rae grinned. "Yup!"

"Did you always wanted to be a Ka –"

"I'll just roam around," I said to nobody in particular, leaving Madeline and Rae to chat.

At some point, I ended up in the kitchen where I caught an Asian-looking girl eating cookies as she sat on the kitchen counter. She had her long black hair braided into two tails. It went well with her big hoop earrings. My first thought was, she looked way too cool with her leather jacket to be in a place like this.

"Hey," she greeted.

I nodded to her. "Hey."

"Cookie?" she said, offering the whole jar to me.

"I'm good." I shook my head.

She brought the jar back on her lap and reached inside. "What's your name?"

"Connie."

"I'm Honor. I'd shake your hand but I'm eating." She didn't look sorry at all. In fact, this girl looked just as bored as I did. "You lost, Connie?"

"Not really, just looking around."

"Not spying for the Zits, are you?"

I frowned. "'Zits?'"

"Zeta Theta is too long. We call them 'Zits' for short. Suits them, anyway."

The corners of my lips turned up. "You're not allowed to talk shit about other sororities during rush week."

"And that is why I'm not out there. I can't keep up the act of the strict and perfect sister."

Now this was interesting as hell.

"The rest of them are having a kick out of it because we went through the same thing," she continued in a muffled voice because she was munching on a cookie. "But honestly, it's nothing but a hassle."

"It's all an act, then? Naomi's speech?"

Honor laughed and shook her head. "Oh, no. Naomi is serious as shit about everything she said." She stopped and groaned, as if she just realized something. "Fuck, I need to put a dollar in the swear jar. Make that two."

I cocked my head to the side. "You have a swear jar?"

"Yeah, we get the money for junk food day from that jar," she told me, like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Ophie's idea."

"Cool." I nodded, not bothering to hide that I was impressed and maybe a little intrigued.

"See, we're not as perfect as we make others believe. We're actually very fucking chill – Urgh! Dammit!"

Honor let out a cry of frustration, making me chuckle despite myself.

"That's another two," I teased. "Man, they're lucky to have you on junk food day. Does that day even exist without you?"

She shook her head, with a hand raised as if to make a point. "I swear, it's cheaper to just buy them all pizza. But then, we'd all by buying each other pizzas."

I laughed, then I remembered what she said and I stopped.

"Wait, let's backtrack there for a sec." I crossed my arms as I leaned on the counter across from her. "You said you make others believe you're perfect?"

"It's meant to ward off stupid people," she simply said.

I looked at her questioningly.

"Honey, if they can't see past our bullshit, there's really no point. Aaand there goes another dollar," she added the last part under her breath.

"Isn't that just being fake?"

"Nope."

I was confused as fuck.

"Look at it this way, we carefully choose the people who get to see our vulnerable side."

"I can be real as hell and still choose the people I'll only be close with at the same time. Why pretend to be perfect when you're far from it? That's just fucking bullshit." I shook my head and looked up, trying to calm my worked up ass. "This is not what I expected."

Honor laughed. "What, you thought we'd paint each other's nails and have unicorn-themed slumber parties? This is college, not your sweet sixteenth birthday."

"No, I expected fucking better. Yeah, maybe I expected you people to be girly as shit but I didn't expect this. You're all talking about proving yourselves and being good enough and having connections in the future. But is that really your definition of a sisterhood? Where's the promise of a lifetime of friendship? Where's the oath of having each other's backs? Where's the fucking camaraderie? I sure as hell didn't hear any of that in all the houses we've visited today." I shook my head, laughing humorlessly. "I knew I didn't belong in your world. Thanks for showing just how right I am."

Honor stared at me, then started to smile smugly before looking at something behind me.

"Told you she's a P.N.M."

I whipped around to see Naomi standing by the doorway with an unreadable expression on her face.

"P.N.M.?" I asked dumbly.

"Potential New Member," explained Naomi. She tilted her head as she regarded me. "Good job, Honor."

My frown got deeper as pieces of the puzzle slowly came together.

"That was a test?" I asked dumbly, again.

"I was curious," said Naomi, shrugging as if it was no biggie.

"About what?"

Honor jumped off the counter, and answered, "About why you're rushing when it's obvious to God that you don't want to be part of any of this even in the slightest."

I chinned up. "I have my reasons."

"And we respect that." Naomi nodded. "Whatever your reasons are, they don't matter to us anymore."

"Pretty good speech," commented Honor, giving a thumbs up to me.

What the fuck was going on here?

"Time is almost up," declared Naomi, turning to leave. "That's seven, by the way."

"Seven what?"

"Seven dollars in the swear jar," sang Naomi, without looking back.

"I'm not a sister," I reminded her. "I already told you, I don't belong –"

Naomi stopped and faced me sideways. "If you really think that, you wouldn't still be here." With that, she winked at me and walked away.

"See you around, Connie," said Honor, waving goodbye before she walked out.

Well, shit. Making them not like me was harder than I thought. The most surprising thing was, I couldn't remember why I didn't want them to in the first place.

"What d'you think?" asked Madeline, as we walked down the pathway to the sidewalk.

I stopped and glanced back at the KPK house. I wasn't sure why but there was that pull with this particular house that the others didn't have.

Zeta Theta delivered some pretty convincing speech about life long connections, partying with the best frats, and all that shit. But I wasn't really interested in any of what they were offering, especially when they see the girls as assets rather than sisters.

Kappa Pi Kappa was different. They were straightforward with the kind of foundation they were upholding and the traditions they were aiming to keep intact. It was clear that they were a tight knit group of sisters, but they also weren't gooey about it. And if I were being honest, they reminded me so much of my friends back home.

They reminded me of the crew.

"Hey, Mads?" I said, my eyes still on the Victorian brownstone house.

"Yeah?"

"I think I wanna be a Kappa."