Holy shit.

I watched Alfie's truck pull up in front of the Aces Estate. The party filled out to the front lawn because it was the last bash for the whole Greek community before everyone went home for winter break.

Needless to say, everyone was here.

So what the hell is he doing here?!

Alfie got out of his truck and closed the driver's side door, his eyes scanning the crowd (no doubt looking for me).

"Who is that?" asked Jamaica, eyeing him curiously – as did every girl who had a front row view of him across the lawn.

I tried looking at my best friend through Jamaica's eyes.

I mean, I could understand the curiosity. He wore a black leather bomber jacket, with a black shirt underneath, his dark hair was tousled like he just had the best sex ever, and his bluish green eyes had that dangerous glint to it.

All in all, he looked like the kind of danger your parents warned you about. But then again, danger never looked so good and inviting.

Taking a deep breath, I glanced at Scout who was on the other side of the lawn. He was watching Alfie, too. He didn't give anything away, but I knew he was alert. With Alfie, no one ever really knew what they were in for.

Alfie's eyes found me then, and his expression darkened instantly. Looking like a man on a mission, he crossed the lawn and made a beeline for me. Without warning, he cupped my face with a hand and straight on kissed me.

I was too stunned for a moment that I wasn't able to do anything. What the fuck was going on? But before I could push him away, someone pulled him from me.

"Alfie," deadpanned Scout, flanked by his frat brothers.

I snapped. "What the hell?!"

"I fucking knew it," my best friend only said, wearing a wide sarcastic grin.

Scout whispered something to Brody and Gaige. The two nodded, before they fanned out to get rid of people near us so we'd be out if earshot from nosy bystanders.

Damn, this wasn't how I pictured the night to go.

"You told Oz, Con," accused Alfie, looking betrayed. "You told him about you and this fucker." He nodded to Scout, who was now beside me. "But you didn't fucking tell me. What, you think I'm not worth shit so I didn't have the right to fucking know?"

Jamaica's hazel eyes looked like they were gonna bulge out from their sockets. She probably hadn't heard someone curse so much before.

Through gritted teeth, I explained, "I didn't tell Oz. He figured it out." I stepped forward, looking my best friend dead in the eyes. "And I didn't want anyone from back home to know because I knew how everyone was going to react."

"Bullshit," he spat. "You didn't want anyone to know because it would get back to me." He got closer to my face, and his voice turned dangerously low as he added, "And you knew how I'd fucking react."

I glared at him. "What's your point?"

"You know my point."

Exactly. He knew and he still acted like this.

Ha, and he was wondering why I didn't let him know right away? He and I both knew he'd lose his shit. He only proved me right.

Neither of us backed down from the staring contest we suddenly had. With both of us being stubborn asses, we probably would've stayed there all night if not for Scout stepping in.

"Back off, Alfie," warned Scout.

Alfie's eyes didn't leave mine, as he replied, "Or what?"

And there it was. It was only a flicker – It might just have been a flash... But I saw it. I caught the hurt in his expression. It was so brief I thought I might've imagined it.

But I knew my best friend.

"Not here, Alf," I whispered, almost begging him to listen to me. This wasn't the right time or place. "We'll talk about this later."

His jaw ticked, but I knew I won – for now.

"I ain't leaving 'til we do," he swore, before stepping back and addressing the crowd with a grin. "What does a guy have to do to get a beer around here?"

"Come on, I'll get you something to drink." Madeline eyed me, sending me a silent message that said she'd babysit while I calmed the hell down.

"And you are?" asked Alfie, eyeing her from head to toe.

"Madeline, Connie's roommate." She flashed him a polite smile, as they walked towards the Estate.

"Ah, yeah." He nodded and pointed a finger to her, curiosity filling his eyes. "The infamous roommate slash partner-in-crime."

Madeline smirked. "I heard a lot about you, too."

"Do tell," Alfie urged, turning on his charm and putting an arm around her. "I love hearing about myself."

I could still hear Madeline's laughter as they both disappeared inside. I sighed and turned to Scout, already knowing that this was going to be a long night.

"You okay?" he asked, searching my face.

"Yeah," I assured him, getting worried. "I don't know what's going on with him." I nibbled my thumb, trying to think about it.

He drove all the way here, without stopping from the looks of it. It wasn't even officially winter break yet. He wasn't with Oz either. Just what the hell was going on? Something must have happened for sure.

Scout scowled, looking back at the Estate where Alfie and Madeline disappeared to. "That was a dick move, kissing you like that."

"Something's wrong," I mumbled.

"You're not seriously defending him?" Scout whipped his head to me, disbelief in his features.

"I'm not," I quickly said. "It's just... he's a jackass but it's only his way of acting out. So if his assholery is worse than usual, then something's really wrong."

Something was really, really wrong.

Before Scout could reply, Gaige came up to us looking awestruck. "Yo, your ex is Alfie O'neal, that quarterback from University of Florida?"

"Best friend," I corrected, because that was more important and that felt more real than any other label.

"Damn, I'm about to shit my pants." Gaige laughed, practically bouncing in delight and totally oblivious to the tension around him. "They're saying he's gonna be the next Tom Brady. Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Couldn't be more serious," I muttered, crossing my arms.

I often forgot how famous Alfie had gotten ever since he played in SEC football, the same went for Oz. But since the quarterback received more attention, it was Alfie who also got more of the spotlight.

"Can I have his autograph?"

Scout sighed. "Gaige, could you just..."

Gaige shrugged. "I'll show him around," he said, before bouncing away.

"I'll call Oz," I declared, before pulling out my phone and already seeing missed calls from my other best friend. "Shit."

Yeah, this was definitely something serious.

Wasting no time, I pressed the call button. I kept my panic at bay, not wanting to think about the worst case scenario. I couldn't afford to overthink right now. The first ring hadn't even finished when Oz picked up.

"Is he there?!" He sounded so freaked out.

"Yeah, he's here." I stepped away from Scout, Brody, and Jamaica. I took a deep breath, before asking, "What the hell is going on, Oz?"

"He got – I don't even – Fuck, I don't know shit anymore."

Oz stammering and being lost for words had never happened in all the years that I had known him, which only made me even more worried.

"He hasn't been himself, Con," he continued. "Not for a while now. It's like he's on fucking self-destruct mode and I tried to stop it but I couldn't. The dipshit is on a fucking mission to destroy himself."

I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in.

"I don't know what the fuck to do," he added, his voice cracking.

Shit, this was so fucking bad.

"I'll... talk to him," I said softly.

"Okay." There was a beat, then there were some rustling in the background. "I'm just packing up some shit, and I'll be on my way. Stay with him 'til I get there?"

"Dude, you know you don't have to ask me that."

"Scout?"

"He'll understand." At least, I hoped to God he did.

"You sure about that? He's a good guy. But he's no saint, Con. And after what happened, I wouldn't let you near Alfie if I was him."

I knew telling him what went down a few months ago was a bad idea. I didn't want him lecturing me like this. I didn't even want to think about any negative shit right now. I needed to focus.

"Well, he's not you." And before he could say more bullshit, I added, "Now shut up and pack. I have to go find Alfie."

"Fine, see you."

"Drive safe."

As soon as I hung up, I went to look for my unpredictable and reckless as fuck best friend. I just hoped to God his stubborn ass would listen to me.

* * * * *

I found Alfie in the garage with Madeline and Gaige, playing beer pong against some random dude. My childhood friend looked bored more than anything, while his opponent kept staring at him until recognition crossed his features.

"Hey, I knew it! It's you, isn't it? You're that O'neal guy who got kicked out of the game at the swamp last week?"

Gaige glared at the dickwad who just spoke, while Alfie stiffened. I crossed my arms and frowned in confusion. I didn't know he got kicked out. I had no idea...

"Yeah, that's him!" The shithead's friend cackled. "Shit, what's their quarterback doing here? Almost lost the game, too. Good thing Lacy picked it up."

"Yikes." The shithead sent Alfie a pitiful look. "Sorry, man. But the Gators could do without your choking."

"Yeah?" Alfie laughed. "Wanna see who else gets fucking choked tonight?"

Oh, no.

Alfie straightened up and faced the shitheads talking, looking ready to pounce. I jumped in and intercepted, stopping him with my hands on his chest.

"You got kicked out?" I asked, trying to distract him.

We didn't need a bunch of frat guys after him right now just because he taught a couple of dicks a lesson on strangling. We were on their turf.

Alfie looked at me, before sighing and looking away.

"What?" I urged.

"I got suspended for the rest of the season."

He got... suspended...

"Alfie..."

He shook his head. "Doesn't matter."

"That's why you're here."

His jaw clenched. "I wanted to run away from all that fucked up shit. I wanted to go home. But home isn't really home without the crew. The only one I really wanted to run to..." he paused, letting out a humorless laugh, "was you."

Oh, Alfie...

I placed a hand on his shoulder, wanting to comfort him and somehow let him know that I was here. Always.

He looked down. "Oz warned me about coming here. I didn't wanna believe it, but it's true." When he met my eyes again, his voice was so small that I almost didn't hear it through the noise. "I lost you."

My heart broke at hearing those words come out from his mouth, especially when they were so far from the truth.

"Alfie, that's not true. You didn't—"

"Doesn't look like it." He nodded behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Scout watching us. He kept his distance but his eyes stayed on us. I turned back to Alfie and shook my head.

"Alf—"

"Doesn't matter anymore." Alfie started backing away, shrugging. "I'm used to people leaving me. Why should you be any different? " He smiled sardonically, before finally turning around and disappearing in the crowd.

No, no, no!

I ran after him.

I heard people calling my name but I didn't give a shit. I had tunnel vision at this point, and I only saw my best friend – my best friend who needed me, my best friend who had no one else, my best friend who felt all alone.

"Connie! Hold up!"

I finally stopped, if only to catch my breath. I was on the sidewalk, a few houses down the Aces Estate. I was honestly surprised I made it this far. Right now, I fucking hated my low stamina. I needed to catch up to Alfie.

"Connie!"

"I lost him." I panicked, frantically looking around the dead street. "I didn't see where he went." I realized then that my voice was trembling, as well as my whole body.

"Hey, it's okay," said Scout, rubbing my arms to calm me down.

But I didn't want to calm down. I wanted to find Alfie.

I had to.

"No, it's not." I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, frustrated at myself. "I can't lose him."

Scout didn't say anything for a long time. And when I finally opened my eyes to look at him, his brows were furrowed. It was clear he didn't like this at all. But to my surprise, he nodded as if he just made up his mind.

"I'll help you find him. I'll go with you."

"No, Scout," I argued. "You don't understand. I have to talk to him alone."

Not with you there.

Scout was one of the reasons why Alfie thought he lost me. I had to explain, to make him see my side of things. He wouldn't listen to me if Scout was there.

"Make me understand."

"You don't get it." I shook my head. "He doesn't have anyone else. You have your sister, your parents, even Brody and Gaige. Alfie only has me."

His frown deepened. "What about Oz, and your friends – the crew?"

"It's different."

I didn't have fucking time to explain this shit to him.

"He has Oz, too. But it's different."

I shook my head again, trying not to cry because I really needed to go after my best friend. He was already unpredictable in normal circumstances. There was no telling what he would do in his state right now.

I couldn't even think about it.

"I'm sorry, I really have to go find him."

I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him. He was lost – literally and figuratively. At this point, he was capable of doing anything.

Maybe even hurt himself.

NO.

No, I wouldn't think about that. Not right now.

"I'm sorry, Scout."

A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek, before I could turn around and run. It was a real struggle dialling Alfie's number with blurry vision, but I did it anyway.

I just hoped Scout understood that by going after Alfie, it didn't mean that I was choosing him. Because I wasn't. Far from it.

Because while Alfie was my ride or die, willing to sink and drown with me...

Scout guided me towards safety.

He saved me from the dark.

He was my lighthouse.

_____________

Only 5 chapters left! Who's hating on my baby Alfie?

Next update: Saturday

Coming up next... Chapter 36: Lost On You
Ready to cry?

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