Wait, would you take a bullet for me?

I would do anything for you, darling

Except eat mushrooms. Those things are nasty!!!

~~~

Talk dirty to me

I'm not wearing any underwear because you never fucking put the fucking laundry in the fucking dryer like I asked you to 100 fucking times.

~~~

Hope you get a good nights sleep and don't stay up too late 💕 you know a king like you needs his rest 💜💜

You just woke me up, you piece of sHIT

~~~

Let's watch Shark Boy and Lava Girl

Okay

And make out during the scary parts

Th

The scary parts

Of Shark Boy and Lava Girl

~~~

I'm sorry

Please talk to me baby

Muffin?

Sweet pea?

Beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure?

Sorry doesn't bring back my fucking skittles!!!

~~~

Love is the sound of bed springs caused by laughter, not sex

Sex is pretty good though

Babe, stop ruining the moment

~~~

A boy like you is rarer than any Pepe

~~~

Wanna kbiw what I want?

Noods

Noodles

Pix for my wanking stix

Sluts for my nuts

Chesticles for my testicles

I'm running out of shit to say

Well

Happy birthday

You have fun

I'm gonna go now

~~~

Wait, did you just flirt with me?

Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing