"Jungkook?"

"Fuck, give me a sec." Taehyung quickly turned around to slid the loose white shirt down his body as he was freshly out of the shower. Certainly, he was not expecting to have Jungkook walking on him half-naked.

"S-sorry..."

"Isokay." The silver head shrugged it off as he turned around once he was decent to look at. "How can I help you?"

Hate.

Jungkook hated the formality and cautiousness in Taehyung's voice.

"I was looking for Namjoon."

"Then you should look for him in his room."

"Am I not in his room?"

"This is my room Jungkook. His is on the ground floor, the hallway after on the opposite end of the dining. He has a mini house attached for himself."

"So Namjoon doesn't stay here? You do."

"Mhm." Taehyung looked at the younger with a lacing furrow on his brows.

"Did you save me from drowning last night?"

The silver head's breathe halted. He was ceased to stop existing when the ravenette questioned his action. Taehyung did not want to reveal it to Jungkook for he doesn't want Jungkook to feel indebted to him by any means. Of coz the younger would have found out sooner than later. The very first mistake Taehyung did was to bring Jungkook back to his room. The silver head wasn't sure which room belonged to the younger. With the dire situation in hand, it felt more appropriate to bring Jungkook back to his room.

"Answer me Tae, you were here last night and you're the one who saved me isn't it? Namjoon can't swim to even save himself. How can he manage to save me? That's bizarre."

Jungkook watched the silver head sat quietly on the edge of the bed without anything to say. It has been a while since the raven head saw the look on Taehyung's face. A look of defeat. The young tycoon can be many things but surely not someone who portrays defeat on his face.

"Taehyung. I'm not mad at you, I just want to hear the truth." The raven head said softly as he approached the older who had his shoulders dropped lower with his gaze on the floor. Jungkook, however, maintained a noticeable distance to not overstep his boundaries with his ex-lover.

"Yes, I did."

"Then why did you hide it from me?"

"Coz I didn't want to aggravate you or Jimin any further. I know you wanted nothing to do with me. I can't bring it on you to feel indebted or worse, to feel disgusted by me touching you again."

There was a sharp stinging pain on Jungkook's chest and he didn't know it was enough to create a pool of tears at the corner of his eyes. Him walking to Taehyung's penthouse, to return with a heavy heart and clouded mind with Lucas. It was all getting too much for Jungkook as he spiralled down in his misery.

"Why would you think I would feel disgusted if you touch me Tae? You did that to save me."

Taehyung managed to support his head and gaze upwards to face the raven head who was standing with his hood over his head, looking almost like a young 20-year-old boy. With his fringe falling over his forehead, Jungkook surely looked years younger than he normally would with his hair swiped to the side, revealing his forehead.

This must be how he had looked when we dated. Adorable.

The corner of the silver head lips quivered but managed to pull a crooked smile as Jungkook scrunched his brows in wonder. "What is so funny?"

"Nothing. I just imagined how you would have looked when we dated years ago." Taehyung looked away when he notices Jungkook shifting in his feet.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Huh?" Taehyung crinkled his face in question but soon noticed he did not answer Jungkook's question on his statement. "Oh. Well...we didn't part ways very well in Sydney. I understand Jimin also wanted nothing to do with me. I figured that it would fuel more flame to the situation if you guys found out it was me. Besides, you asked me to leave the last time we met. I'm not sure how ready you will be to see I saved you. I didn't want you to feel indebted to me Jungkook. It wasn't my intention."

"You could have just let me drown. I brought you so much misery after all."

"Are you fucking insane? Why the hell I would do that?" Taehyung's nerve was ticked off so quickly when he heard the younger wishing the death upon himself. "I might be an asshole Jungkook but I am not a heartless freak."

The proximity between the two surely shook Jungkook's world as the silver head barged forward without thinking twice. Taehyung was mad at Jungkook for saying those words and nothing else mattered to him as he wanted to kick some sense into the younger's mind.

"I might even kill myself even if I have to save you and I will do so a million times bun. I will." Taehyung's self-control was out of the window as he cupped the younger's soft cheeks in the palm of his hand while he pressed his forehead on Jungkook's, taking in the younger's body warmth.

"Why?"

Taehyung opened his eyes and separated their foreheads apart while his palms continued to hold the younger's face like a precious rare jewel.

"Why would you suffer for me? Who am I to you? You don't remember me anymore Taehyung. Why am I important to you?" Jungkook's voice was merely a whisper but the silver head heard every single word in a crystal clear manner, not missing a single syllabus.

Because I love you.

"Because you're someone I used to love."

Past. All Jungkook could think about from what the silver head said is their past. "You will sacrifice yourself for me coz you used to love me? Do you even know how it feels like to love me?"

I do.

The silver head didn't answer. Instead, he watched Jungkook shed trails of tears from his eyes, sniffling as his Bambi eyes turned the deepest shade of sorrow. So much pain in the pretty doe eyes which Taehyung blames himself for.

"You can't just say things like that and didn't mean it Taehyung. You don't love me anymore. You need to stop doing all these. It's making things messier." Jungkook took Taehyung's hands from his cheeks and stepped backwards. Their closeness was beginning to suffocate him and he hated the overwhelming feeling rising in his chest.

"Jungkook-..."

"I'm glad you're ready to put things in the past Taehyung. Thank you for saving me. I'm not angry with you anymore but if this is how you feel, making me a story of your past, then please don't try to act like I'm your present and future. It doesn't work that way."

Jungkook said through a sombre voice. He can't bring himself to decide which Taehyung is real. The one that opened up to Yoongi at the office or the current Taehyung who seems to be only placing him in the past of his life. At one moment, Jungkook feels like he is on top of the world and the next minute, he feels like he is burning in hell.

Loving Taehyung has never been easy.

"Besides, I'm seeing Lucas now. We are dating."

"I know."

"Good. Anyways, I think this is the end of our path to closure. Have a good night Taehyung. I believe we can move on from here. We are adults anyways. As you said, you used to love me, not any more so let's forget about it. I'm sorry if I ever was an ass to you when we meet after all these years, I was just reacting badly."

Jungkook holds onto his hoodie for the security and assurance he needed while he watched the older looking at him without batting his eyes. Taehyung looked vulnerable and in a way ethereal, it made Jungkook want to cry out even more.

"Ok."

If this makes you happy then I will do as per your wish Bun. The unspoken words stayed in Taehyung as he watched his favourite boy take a few steps away from him until he was turned to leave the room. As Jungkook was turning the knob to exit, he heard a hoarse voice.

"Is this because of Lucas? You love him now?"

Jungkook let out a heavy sigh as he turned back to face the older. "Yes, I am thinking about pursuing with Lucas, I don't want to be tied down with the past between us Taehyung. Lucas is a great guy and he deserves better." A sense of guilt hung heavily around the raven head as Jungkook realize how crappy he has been treating Lucas.

"Does he say...I love you?" Taehyung looked so small and vulnerable when he uttered those words. For some reason, it hit Jungkook as a confession rather than a question.

"Y-yes."

"Have a happy life Jungkook. I'm sorry."

Jungkook could sense the regret in Taehyung's voice. The powerful young tycoon of VANTE looked nothing more than a 28 years old vulnerable young man in front of his love.

"Don't blame Namjoon for hiding about the incident. I told him to keep it a secret for the reasons I have told you. He was the next to come back home after the incident and I needed him to cover for me. I hope you understand."

Jungkook nodded. He wasn't mad at Namjoon, after all, the blue head does care for his cousin brother and it shows very evidently. "G'night Tae." The raven head walked out of the room and closed the navy room door shut at the back of him. He looked ahead and saw the room to his door. He wasted no time to find the comfort of his bed as the earlier tears which looked like it has resolved came back rushing like a waterfall.

His soft sniffles and muffled cries were engulfed by the four walls in the space he was contained. No other breathing soul was there to witness Jungkook breaking into pieces, finally mourning for the love he lost.

On the other side, Taehyung was holding his trembling body in his arms. Ripping his shirt apart feeling the thin fabric tore with the aggressiveness of his emotion as his screaming cries slammed his head over and over with the constant disappointment of not being able to retrace the moments he shared with Jungkook.

The one he let go of.

.
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🥀
Why am I so sad?