It's been a while
I haven't missed you like crazy or craved you sinfully
It's moments like these where I feel the most strong, I feel like i can take on the world
I mean, me not missing you must obviously mean something
It must mean that my heart is finally listening to my mind
It must mean that I'm free from these feelings that have long chained me down
It must mean that I can now be happy even without you
Knowing this, I feel liberated,
Strong,
whole again even
I haven't missed you for a while and I'm still not missing you
"You are not my happiness."
That's what I tell myself
I repeat it endlessly in my mind so that I can remind myself that without you, I am still whole
"Hello", you say
And just like clockwork all that strength, confidence and freedom disappears
All those feelings that I unbeknownstly buried, they all surface once again and like a routine, I'm chained down again
It's pitiful that only one word is needed to shatter my resolve
I stare into your eyes, those toxic bewitching eyes
And that stare is enough to just let all the logic present in my heart melt away
And once again you have become the source of my happiness
But...
With you, I'm at my happiest
So I guess I can't be chained down by you because how can someone who makes me feel so alive be the one who restrains me?
With you, I am truly free

I guess you weren't missed because in my head you're already mine...